Author's Note: Well, hello all. -forces a smile- Now that I've made you wait over a month, I suppose I owe you all an apology and an explanation.

First of all, the summer swimming season just ended, and it was incredibly hectic. I was very busy with work and swimming. I hardly spent any time at home during the last week... and I was absolutely exhausted when it was over.

Secondly, we recently found out that my dad's best friend has a terminal brain tumor, and we're now with the family. We'll be spending a lot of our time with them in the near future, and it will be quite time-consuming (they live in a different state than we do). This has also been taking up my time.

But, also, I've been lazy. And, for that, I'm incredibly sorry. -sigh-

So... here's the next chapter. Hope you all like it.

—

Disclaimer: Never have owned Alice 19th, never will. No, I am most definitely not that ambitious.

—

Chapter XI: The Only Reverie

—

Time seemed to stand still for a second. Two seconds. Ten seconds. There was barely a distinction between the seconds as they ticked by. The large grandfather clock in the hall reverberated loudly as it sounded the hour, but nobody seemed to notice. The shock of the situation had completely captured their senses—especially those of the ghostly red-haired girl and the wide-eyed blonde boy that stared at her in disbelief.

For Clementine, it wasn't hard to believe that she had killed Eric. It was facing the fact that she had murdered yet another person that chilled her to the bones. She had vowed that she would never kill anyone ever again... but... his death had been necessary, hadn't it? She liked to believe so. Still, pointing the gun... pulling the trigger... watching as the person falls to the ground... bleeding, gasping for breath... it was traumatizing.

For Frey, it was almost impossible for him to believe that Clementine... the promising young woman that he had known... that he had loved... could actually kill someone without hesitation. But, however impossible it was, it wasn't what sent a shiver down his spine. It was undoubtedly Clementine that stood before him... but she was no more than a shadow of her previous self. He had seen her that way before; that one time when he had visited her Inner Heart, he had been confronted by the inner manifestation of the Mara inside of her. And it was there again... standing right in front of him.

They stood there for a long time, simply staring at each other. Eventually, Clementine's limbs began to shake in a convulsive manner. The gun fell to the floor, followed by Clementine, herself. Frey stood stock-still as he watched—seemingly in some kind of reverie, which was the after-effect of the immense shock he had been experiencing. A moment later, he was snapped out of his dream-like state by the frantic and worried questions of his companions.

"Who is she?" "What happened?" "Frey, what's going on, here?"

Still in a numb state of unbelief, Frey turned to look at the people with him. Alice had covered her eyes and was shaking slightly while Kyô held her tightly in an attempt to comfort her. Billy was merely staring at Eric's lifeless body with a steely and unfeeling gaze. Chris looked as if he would be sick; he was so disconcerted that he didn't even think to heal Clementine with his Lotis. Mei Lin was gazing at Frey inquisitively, knowing that he knew more than any of them.

Without so much as a word, Frey turned back and leaned down next to Clementine. He picked her up in one swift motion and began to walk back to the residential area of the building. He offered no explanation and no answers. The silence was nearly deafening.

One by one, the other Lotis Masters followed Frey's lead. They no longer spoke, either—they knew that Frey didn't really hear what they were saying.

Once they were all gone, a certain young Maram Master emerged from the shadows. His entire countenance adopted a rather thoughtful look as he gazed at the retreating forms of the others. A smirk both endearing and sickening flickered at the corners of his lips.

Interesting...

—

Just as the sun began to set, a small groan could be heard from the corner of a small, cozy room, where a tired-looking, slightly emaciated girl was beginning to stir. That is, it could have been heard if only it had been a bit quieter in the room. The occupants seemed to be in a sort of frenzy—talking so loudly and quickly, it was a miracle that they could understand each other. Clementine, for one, couldn't.

Rising into a half-sitting position, she winced and placed a hand on her forehead. A splitting headache was exactly what she needed at that moment. If only I could have a few broken bones to top it off! She sighed in frustration, and her hands slowly balled into fists. The combination of the headache and the frenzy in the room was enough to drive anybody mad. Finally, something in her snapped, and she merely couldn't take it anymore.

"Everyone... shut up!" she yelled rather loudly, accentuating the last two words of her order. Everyone immediately became silent and turned to look at her—blinking in slight shock. Everyone besides Frey, that is.

Sighing again, she slowly rubbed her temples—eyes squeezed shut. "God... you all were talking loud enough to wake the dead... and I'm sure they'd appreciate it just about as much as I do."

It was official; the shy, timid girl of yesteryear was gone. Forever.

Frey silently inclined his head towards the door—indicating that everyone should leave for the time being. He had some "business" to attend to. Business that he wanted to take care of in private...

Prompt and obedient, the others quietly filed out of the room. They still whispered among themselves, but they were somewhat afraid to talk too loudly until they were far enough away. They had the feeling that something wasn't nearly right, and they knew that Frey was upset. The guy had hardly spoken since the "incident"... which was quite unlike him.

Once they were gone, the room was filled with a tense, awkward, and altogether unpleasant silence. Frey's troubled green eyes were fixed on Clementine, but it seemed that he stared at nothing in particular. Clementine's empty green eyes were focused on her hands, which were nervously plucking at the blanket she was nestled under. They didn't speak for a long time. When someone finally spoke up, it was Clem.

"...welcome back." Her words were incredibly terse and lined with sarcasm. Hearing how cold she sounded, she nearly winced. It almost seemed that she had no control over herself...

Frey chuckled somewhat bitterly. "Thanks for the warm welcome. I'm so happy to be back." His tone was just as sarcastic—if not more so—than hers. This caused her to wince inwardly.

...what have I done...?

Her eyes slowly closed as she let out a deep breath that she hadn't previously been aware that she was holding. "I'm... sorry."

"You're sorry...? That's all you have to say to me?" A flash of some undeterminable emotion flashed through his otherwise passive emerald eyes. He was generally an incredibly empathetic, caring, forgiving person... but this... he didn't even know what he was dealing with. "You said that you were going home. But you're still here." He gazed at her for a moment—slight disdain reflected in his countenance. "If this even is you."

"It's me, alright..." She laughed a bit darkly. "Although I wish I could say that it isn't." Her gaze flickered to him for a moment, but she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes. "I was going home. I was going to get out of here. Away from the pain... away from the confusion... away from the... the visions..." She finally locked her gaze with his—nothing but pure emptiness and a tinge of anger showing in her expression. "But I couldn't. My mother suddenly died. There was nothing to go back to. Nothing to live for." Scowling, she shifted her gaze to stare at the wall behind Frey's head, and added in a mutter, "Nothing but my hatred."

Frey shook his head disbelievingly. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. This isn't you."

"You don't know me!" Her voice rang out loudly and clearly, but sounded slightly choked. The exclamation was followed by a short, shocked silence. When she continued, it was obvious that she was fighting back tears. "You don't know anything about me, Frey. I'm weak... given to hatred and pain... I'm a murderer... not in control of my own passions... I'm a liar and a deceiver... willing to hurt everyone around me by falsifying everything just so I don't have to face the truth... I'm corrupt... a slave to the sin of darkness, not willing or able to search for the light. You don't know me. If you did, you wouldn't be here right now." There was a long, painful pause before she continued. "If you did, I wouldn't be here right now..."

A look of slight shock and hurt flickered through Frey's countenance, and when he spoke, his voice was incredibly shaky. "So, that's it, then... you... you blame me for all of this, don't you? Whatever 'this' is, to begin with."

There was no response. Clementine merely stared down at her hands with an impassive expression on her face. It was neither affirmation nor refutation.

Shaking his head again, Frey let out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. For a long time, he couldn't bring himself to look back at her. He couldn't bear to see her that way... to hear what she was saying... he wanted to believe that he was dreaming, but the pain was all too real. His eyes did eventually wander back to her emaciated frame—staring, but not really seeing. "Tell me what I'm dealing with, Clementine. What happened to you?"

Clementine didn't move a muscle. Her eyes were fixed and focused on the wall on the opposite end of the room, but they were glazed over with an expression of extreme pain. Her hands gripped the blanket tightly and didn't seem like they were going to relax any time soon. If one hadn't known better, they would have thought that she was incredibly ill and in searing pain. In all reality, she was ill and in pain—but not physically. When she opened her mouth to speak, only one word found its way past her lips. "Eric."

To most people, the simple, four-letter name would mean nothing. However, to Frey, it hit home—hard. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. No words would come out. So, instead, Clementine forced herself to continue.

"He tricked me. Deceived me. Not just me... all of us. But especially me. He said he was going to train me... and he trained me, alright." A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "Just not in the way he said he would." She inclined her head to meet his gaze once more. Her voice had an unmistakable venomous tinge. "He placed a curse seal on my neck. It caused me to forget everything that was good in my life. My mother... my innocence... you. Everything. It only left me with my hatred. And I hated him.

"Ever since I arrived here, I've been having 'prophetic dreams'... all of which were dark in nature. The curse seal only amplified these... to the breaking point. I couldn't take it anymore. They were driving me mad. I needed to get rid of them." She winced slightly, looking back down at her hands. "I had to get rid of them..."

Frey's eyes widened as he realized where she was headed. "No... you didn't..."

"The Lotis didn't work, Frey! It didn't! It couldn't! There was only one thing that could!"

Before either of them really knew what was happening, Frey had jumped up and grabbed Clementine by her shoulders—shaking her somewhat roughly, but just roughly enough to get his point across. "You, Clementine! You! You could have made it go away! Not Darva!"

Clementine's mask of superiority and indifference had been sufficiently cracked by Frey's sudden—and rather unexpected—actions. She stared up at him with wide, shocked eyes. Her lips were parted slightly in an expression of surprise. There were no words for her to say, no matter how desperately she grasped at them. All she could do was sit there and listen to him as he continued.

"I don't know what was going through your head when you did what you did, but nobody in their right mind could possibly believe it to be the right choice! I told you that you could defeat your own darkness! Why didn't you listen to me! Do you honestly believe that I don't have Mara of my own? How do you think I get over it!" He didn't wait for an answer, knowing that he wouldn't receive one. "I don't make deals with Darva, in case you were wondering."

A single tear escaped from one of Clementine's eyes and slowly slid down her cheek. Her eyes seemed empty and unfocused, and her body crumpled slightly as it became somewhat limp. "I... I never... had the strength... I couldn't... hold on... to a hope that wasn't there..."

"It was there! It was there the whole time, right in front of your face! And it still is." Gently grasping her chin with one of his hands, he forced her gaze to meet his. "I told you that I would protect you... help you protect yourself. Why didn't you believe me?"

She seemed to shrink from him. She was afraid, but... of what? Letting her gaze fall from his down to her hands, she whispered, "...you can't protect me if you're dead..."

Frey blinked in confusion. "...what?"

Clementine swallowed hard and closed her eyes—letting out a shuddering breath. "I... I had a dream... a dream that you were going to die... that Darva was going to kill you... you and all of your companions..." Seeing the shocked look in his eyes, she nodded. "Yes... I saw all of them... all of them, in my dream. The short, brunette girl... the blonde boy... the American... all of them." Sighing, she placed her head in her hands. "So far, everything that I've dreamed... it's come true in one way or another. I... I couldn't bear to stay... and watch it happen... that's why... that's why I didn't go with you to Japan..." She was beginning to choke on her words. "I thought that you were never coming back."

Something sparked in Frey's eyes—some hint of understanding at long last. "...that's why you wanted to go home, isn't it? You wanted to-"

"To forget, yes." She quickly cut him off. "I wanted to forget everything. I was never going to use the Lotis again. I wanted to believe that I never met you. I wanted to forget the day you came to my house. The day you saved me. Because that's just what you do, Frey." Her hands dropped from her face to rest on the blanket once more, but her head still drooped. "You were always there to save me. Until I needed to save myself. And I couldn't... because I've always been weak."

Frey just stood there for a while. His eyes wandered over her drooping frame. It was still hard to believe that she was the same girl that he had loved. That he... that he still loved. Sitting down next to her, he wrapped his arms around her—pulling her close—and rested his chin atop her head. "...you can still be saved, Clementine. Let me help you."

Something suddenly snapped inside of Clementine. "No."

Vina.

An invisible barrier separated the two—hitting Frey with such a force that it knocked him across the room, slamming him into the wall. Gritting his teeth, he pulled himself to his knees and gripped his side. Clementine stood in front of him—eyes gleaming with a pained darkness. There was a battle going on inside of her, and it wasn't clear which side was winning.

She hesitated, then turned and walked away. Pausing at the door, she looked back and spoke one last time. "Save yourself."

With that, she vanished.

—

As soon as she had exited the branch, she began to run as fast as she possibly could. She didn't know where she was going... or what she was doing... all she knew is that she had to get away. Far away. And fast.

Unfortunately, someone had different plans for her future.

Matsu.

Clementine let out a sharp shriek as she felt the ground rise up and ensnare her feet, all the way up to her ankles. She fell to her knees in a rather ungraceful manner—trying to leave her ankle-bones and ligaments intact. She knew what was going on. She had known that it was inevitable. After all, he had said that he would be watching... and a Maram Master never forgets a threat.

Manu.

Watching with wide-eyed terror, Clementine couldn't help but gasp when the ground was—quite literally—torn apart, and a wall of water that stretched towards the heavens shot out of the fissure in the earth. It suddenly froze—creating a wall of solid ice. There was no way through it, and certainly no way that she could get around it.

Daara.

A fierce gust of wind bellowed through the field, headed straight towards the prostrate girl. It lifted her up from underneath—tearing her feet from the ground—and slammed her into the wall of ice. Then, just as suddenly as it had arrived, it was gone. Clementine slid to the ground. She didn't have the willpower to stand up and face him, and he knew that she wouldn't dare use the Maram against him.

Using the Maram Words against a seasoned Maram Master is nearly as futile an effort as attempting to scale Mount Everest on your own when you are no more than five years old; no matter what you do, every effort seems to negate itself, and you usually wind up dead. Clementine knew this. Besides, she had been caught off-guard... and Samuel had attacked first. There was no hope for her to win a battle, so she wisely decided to avoid starting one.

So, instead, she just laid there on the ground like a discarded rag—dirtied, dejected, and limp. She even made no move when Samuel came forward and prodded her body rather roughly with his boot.

"If you wish to play dead, you ought to make a stronger effort at it," he sneered. It was obvious that she was alive and still had the energy and strength to move... maybe even to defend herself. "And, if you wish to die, do not look to me as the harbinger of gratification."

Wincing in pain, Clementine raised herself to her knees with her hands—panting slightly. Breathing, in a word, hurt. She could tell that she had a cracked rib or two from the collision with the wall.

"I look to you as the harbinger of doom, Samuel." Holding her side, she rocked back on her heels until she came to rest in a sitting position. She tilted her head up and smiled in a sickly manner. A slight trickle of blood trailed from the corner of her mouth. "But, then again... aren't we all?"

Samuel chuckled—a sick sense of satisfaction evident in his tone. "Doom to all that is 'good' in the world." Grinning darkly, he winked. "That's all."

Clementine grimaced inwardly, but forced a placid smile to her lips. Her eyes gleamed with many different flickers of emotion—all surfacing simultaneously. It cast the shadow of madness over her features. But all she really felt was... extreme confusion. Her mind was not falling prey to clinical insanity. Her mind was falling prey to the insanity that only emotion can bring.

The insanity of the human heart.

Is there truly any insanity of a more dangerous and crippling nature than the insanity of the human heart? Can one ever really trust their emotions and blindly follow their instinct? Should one allow themselves to fall prey to feeling... and to revel in it as much as they can despise it? The ups and downs of life are all caused and reflected by emotion.

But what is a human without emotion? No matter how hard one might try to suppress the urges and callings of their heart, they can never truly block out its voice.

To be human is to feel. To feel is to be confused.

There is no way around it.

At that moment, Clementine believed that a life devoid of all emotion would be nirvana. But, deep down, she knew that to really believe that would to be deny her own existence—her own humanity.

In all reality, she was trying to escape.

There was no escape. She knew it as much as everyone else did. The decision was hers, and hers alone. What was she to do?

Was she to be strong and believe in the light in the face of unfathomable darkness... in the face of certain death? Was she to trust in the one person who cared for her more than anyone else ever had, even when what he was proposing sounded like madness? Was she to go against everything she knew in her head and heart just to have it all thrown back in her face when they were defeated in the end? It sounded preposterous.

But... was she really better off on the other side of the spectrum—wallowing in darkness, tripping over every twig, stumbling into every pitfall, helpless as the invisible walls closed in around her? It, too, sounded preposterous.

In both decisions she foresaw her inevitable demise.

Everything was futile.

She was suddenly snapped out of her reverie when Samuel tossed a mask to her. It landed right in front of her knees and stayed there—seemingly staring up at her with a foreboding gaze. A gaze of empty darkness... but of irresistible power.

"It was Eric's. He told me that if anything were to happen to him, you would be ready to take his place."

Offering no response, Clementine hesitantly reached out to touch the mask. As soon as her fingers met with its cool surface, she immediately jerked her hand back. Her eyes widened in fear, then quickly resumed their usual size. It all happened so quickly that Samuel hardly saw, but he saw, nonetheless.

"Something wrong?" His brow was furrowed and his gaze, scrutinizing. Clementine seemed to falter for a moment, but then confidently raised her head and met his gaze.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

Reaching out again, she fingered the mask and slowly picked it up from the ground. She quirked a brow, then experimentally placed it on her face. It seemed to immediately adhere to its place, and she barely bit back a gasp of shock. A surge of dark power rippled down her spine and tingled as it flowed through her veins. Her green eyes began to glow with a subtle, ethereal hue. A smug smirk tugged at the corners of her lips as her eyes met Samuel's once more.

"What am I to do?"

—

Author's Note: Hmm. I'm semi-pleased with this chapter. I hope all of you are, as well. I sure kept you waiting for an awfully long time. Again... I am so sorry. I can't even express in words how truly sorry I am. I have a bad case of the flu now... so... if it was disjointed... that's why.

-sweatdrop- Yes, I blame it all on the illness. -koff-

Until next time!

Review Responses:

Leftoverthoughts: -laughs- Thanks for the info, there. -winks- Anyways, I'm glad you think that my story is that awesome! I certainly try to make it so, but I'm not sure that I always succeed... oh, and thank you so much... I hope that Yu Watase would be proud of me. She's a genius.

Takame Kiriku: Yeah, it was seriously disjointed. -sigh- I read it over a few times, and realized that I didn't really like it at all. Glad you did, though. It is true that an artist is their own worst critic. -chuckles- Oh, and Terje is actually the guy that killed everyone at the branch in the manga. I had to stay canon there... just 'cause... I had to. And you all should be seeing Mayura in the next chapter. I hope.

When KH came out, I was thirteen, and I said, "I bet I'm going to have to wait until I'm sixteen to play KH2." And so I do. -sigh- I hate it when I'm right...

I'm going to read and review your fics as soon as possible, I promise. My life has been soooo hectic right now... I can't even begin to explain. Goodness. Whoever said that summer is a relaxing time of year seriously needs to live a day in my life.

Helbaworshipper: Well, now you don't have to wonder anymore. -grin-

twilight eyes 8120: -blush- Thank you so much. Your reviews mean a lot to me. Really. -smiles- And, I know that Frey wasn't in this chapter a whole lot, and there wasn't any fluff... but I hope that you still liked it and aren't too disappointed in me. Don't worry... I'm planning on some fluff in the future. I'm too much of a fluff-addict to forget!

lunaflower323: -laughs- Well, I'm glad you love it. Thank you. Hope you liked this chapter!

Liz: Was it as good as... say... coffee filters? 'Cause... if it was... then that's a serious complement, y'know. -manages to control random spurts of laughter- And, yes, they're called "ellipsis." You spelled it right. Congratulations! -throws confetti- Hee... well, I hope you liked this chapter, as well!

Tanlaith: No—the incident didn't happen in the Inner Heart. It really happened. In real life. Yeah. -koff- Sorry the chapter didn't "get to you"... it didn't really get to me, either. -sweatdrop- Hope this one was better...

Aidan: Hmm, DarkClem reminds you of a certain kumorifutago? Actually, that wasn't intentional at all... but, now that you mention it, I suppose that they do have their similarities. Although that certain kumorifutago is more Raven-esque. -nods- Anyways, hope this chapter wasn't too confusing for you!

PychoFanaticELFinDaWood: Wow, that was a hard name to type out... -sweatdrop, smiles sheepishly- Thank you for your review! I sincerely hope that you enjoyed this chapter.

Essence of Reality: You're welcome! I tried to be a bit... unpredictable with this chapter, but I fear that all my suspense was lost in my wording. -sigh- I think I'm too wordy. It doesn't leave much place for shock, or anything else, really. But, if you readers enjoy it, then I'm satisfied. For the time being. -grins-

Arielle: lol, no problem. Sorry it took me so long to update! ...was it really suspenseful? 'Cause... I never notice any suspense in any of my chapters... I mean, I try to make them suspenseful, but do I really succeed? -sweatdrop- I hope I do, and I hope I did... some... in this chapter.

thequietgenius: Thank you very much! This update wasn't exactly quick... but, I hope you enjoy, all the same.