Title: Honest Feelings
Author: A. J. Adamson
Rated: PG for some kissing and mentioning of certain body parts.

Pairing: Haruka/Michiru

Summary: In a more intimate setting than that of all their previous times together, Haruka and Michiru battles their thoughts, fears, and conscience to figure out their true feelings for one another.

Notes: Now, I will admit that I've watched some of the Sailor Moon anime series, but I haven't watched the whole thing. I own the first 11 volumes of the manga, and I have borrowed various volumes of the manga from my friends. I've read the Sailor Stars series, but I have long forgotten what has happened. I'm pretty sure that I have also read the first two mangas of the Sailor Moon Super S series as well. I've recently became a fan of the Haruka/Michiru pairings, and I've read a summary of their background together. This is my attempt at a piece based on their thoughts and actions towards one another in a more intimate, less adventurous setting than the ones you see in the manga or anime. I've also been roleplaying out a story with a friend of mine online. Like me, she's watched the show, but really hasn't read the manga. It was a long time ago for her though, and she doesn't remember too much about it. Our roleplay really doesn't follow the Sailor Moon storyline, but rather the storyline between the two characters. Since this is my first attempt at a piece like this with such little information, I would like for you to flame gently if you must. Feedback is very much accepted and appreciated, and any information that you think might be useful about the characters and their relationship anime wise, would be very much appreciated as well. Please send any information to Feelings

Honest Feelings
A. J. Adamson

Kaioh Michiru, one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Her grace is one that I cannot deny must've been handed down by ancestors through their bloodline. I wonder if maybe somewhere in the past that perhaps she was a princess or queen. Never once have I seen her lose her footing or make any rigid movements. When she walks, it's like she's ice-skating. Her legs move so smoothly, and when she moves her hands through her hair or waves her arms to enthusiastically greet someone, it's like she's ribbon dancing. Her beauty is also one that cannot be compared. To me, it's so exotic, as if she were from a completely different world than all the rest of us Sailor Scouts, and her name, it's like it just flows right off of my tongue without much effort. That hair and those eyes of hers are also something to gaze at. Those tight, little aqua curls of hers make her seem so feminine and dainty. It's like she's a medieval princess. Never once have I seen curls of her proportion here in Japan. Most girls have stick straight hair and use other hair styling products to tease it and make it look wavy or curly, but for someone so calm and cheerful, her eyes are something that you can get lost in. Not just because they're a gorgeous sky-blue color, but because it seems as if her conscious is at war with herself, that there's something that she's missing in her life. Six words come to my mind: a void that cannot be filled. Her eyes just seem so stormy and dark that you can't help but wonder what she's thinking most of the time. Painting is a good way for her to let those emotions go though, but she doesn't like to show off her paintings in fear that someone might be afraid of her. I've seen a few of her paintings, and I must admit, they're pretty dark. I can only imagine the ones that she hides from me. It sends a chill to my spine just thinking about it. Michiru, why are your feelings so dark, and why can't you come to me for help or someone to talk to? You know that no matter what that I am always here for you…

I cannot help but notice everything about her. It's like a nagging, annoying presence in my mind that tells me that I must admire her. I do so from afar though. We're mostly found attached to the hip. Wherever she goes, I follow, and I'm surprised that there hasn't been talk about the two of us being found together so often. I'm pretty sure that people notice me looking at her, and she's probably noticed me doing it too. If she did though, I couldn't be sure. She likes to keep things from me that she would rather keep to herself. I guess that those thoughts might be one of them. She probably doesn't want me to get the wrong impression of her, and I wouldn't be too surprised. She was brought up in a proper, refined household while on the other hand, I was brought up in your normal, everyday household. All my parents expect of me is to do good at school and to respect my duties as a member of the family and as a young woman with her career and future ahead of her. They have no idea of my destiny and my being a Sailor Scout though. No one except other Sailor Scouts and members of the Moon Palace know. While I notice her and wonder if she notices me, another voice pops up in my head and tells me, "she probably doesn't notice you anyway." For some strange reason, I think this is true. I'd be a waste of her time anyway. She's a violinist and an artist, an aristocrat. Me, I'm a racer and a high school student searching for some form of a life. Through being a Sailor Scout though, I have found a life and I like it very much.

At the moment, it's a Friday night, and we are waiting in an entirely too large line to see a new movie. I stand with my arms crossed over my large chest, wearing a tank top and a pair of older jeans. I would've worn a T-shirt, but it was far too warm to wear one. I would've sweat to death waiting out here in line. In fact, I think I'm already beginning to sweat. I feel perspiration running down my leg. There is a frown planted upon my features as I tilt my head and stand on my tiptoes to look over this guy's head. I sigh with disgust as I tap the concrete with my sneaker covered foot. I've been quite patient, but this was becoming ridiculous. Please tell me that other pre-teens and teenagers have much more to do than go to the same movie that Michiru and I want to go to. My teal eyes then travel over to her, a smile upon my face as I silently watch her looking at all the other girls and boys here. She was wearing a pink dress with thin straps, the hem of the dress only coming down to about mid-thigh. She also wore white heels to make herself seem a bit taller. A slight chuckle erupts from my mouth at the thought. She was perfect just the way she was.

"What's so funny?" I hear her ask as her head whips around, those aqua curls of hers bouncing as they fall over her shoulder.

With an almost hesitant hand and a grin upon my face, I reach out and finger one of those soft, delicate curls. I watch quite happily as a small blush creeps over the bridge of her nose and spreads out across her cheeks, remaining utterly quiet as she casts her glance to the ground, instead of looking up at me. She was so cute when she acted so innocent. She seems just like a schoolgirl and she is one, but we're both getting closer to our senior year at high school. When we graduate, we'll no longer be the school girls we once were.

"Oh nothing. Just a thought, that's all," I say as my hand falls from her hair to my side.

I see her raise her eyes a little, but she still wasn't looking at me. She was looking across the way at a couple standing in line. She was intently staring at their clasped hands that hung to both of their sides. Intrigued, I began to watch as well, and a soft smile curled up at the corner of my lips as I watched the boy lightly rub his thumb over the side of the girl's hand. She looked up to him with adoring, emerald eyes and smiled. His light-brown hues would be covered by his lids as he lightly giggled at the girls cute antics and leaned over to kiss her cheek. I watched as a light blush covered her cheeks and another smile crossed her lips. I was tempted to do the same with Michiru, but my attention was drawn from the lovely couple when a heard a slight noise of jealousy come from my partner as she turned her head, looking away from me. This time I had wondered quite dumbly what I had done wrong to make her feel that way, but as I reached down and gently clasped my hand with her own, I watched as she turned her head, looking a bit confused. Those sky-blue eyes were watching me wide with wonder. I only smiled as I ran my thumb over the side of her own hand and watched as another blush crept across her cheeks, but this time she smiled as coy eyes glanced up at me. Nothing at this particular moment could make me happier than to see her smile.

Perhaps I had been mistaken by what I had thought was interest in the attractive, young woman on Haruka's behalf? I know that she's a flirt and that her eyes wander quite often in the presence of a pretty girl, but for some reason, I always seem to think that she shouldn't have eyes for anyone but me. I'm being too foolishly selfish. I may spend a lot of time with her, but it's not like I am her lover – or girlfriend for that matter. She can look at anyone she wants at anytime because she's not attached to anyone, but I had thought that perhaps she was attached to me. Maybe I was wrong? That had to be it. If she had eyes only for me then she would've told me so, right? That was one of our things with our relationship though. No matter how close we are to each other or how much we share together, there's always something that we don't mention or show to each other. I don't think anyone can say that they have an honest relationship. I have my paintings and thoughts and feelings that I hide from her, but Haruka, I can only imagine what she hides from me. Her thoughts and feelings are on the top of my list though.

As I look up to her though, I can imagine that she could have anyone she wanted. You usually don't use the word "handsome" to describe a woman, but her features were clearly inherited from her father. Not that she looked like a guy, but there was just something about the way she looked. When she dressed like a guy, like she normally does, you really couldn't help but wonder. Was she a girl or was she a guy? Haruka is a girl's Japanese name, but I've seen some boys named odder things than Haruka. She also had a great figure, and there wasn't much she could do to hide that large chest of hers than wear a baggy man's shirt. Why am I noticing these things about her? It's all so confusing, but I feel as if it was meant to be, that I was supposed to be with her. The thought was taboo – completely forbidden – but it was so exciting to think like that! It was a lot different from your everyday Michiru, but I don't always have to be the same or stay one way, no matter how much it may confuse people. After all, it is my life, you know? There were so many mysteries surrounding her…

My glance was averted from Haruka as I noticed the line had started moving. I guess that something had happened up at the ticket booth, and after everything started going smoothly, we were up at that ticket booth and had our tickets in less than fifteen minutes. It was surprising that she had been so calm through it all. Usually she gets irritated by things like these. Could this be a sign of maturity upon her behalf? I smiled at the thought as we both made our way into the room showing the feature we were about to see, still clasping each others hands. Being the ever so self-conscious one, I figured that people behind us were staring at us, but in all actuality, they were probably paying attention to themselves, not a couple of high school students. A hand immediately came to my lips as I felt a yawn coming on. Uh-oh! I hope I don't fall asleep during the movie. It would be such a shame to waste all those precious moments that Haruka and I could have together during the feature. Again, what am I thinking? I shake my head a bit and try to cover it up as trying to let the curls fall off my shoulders. I give Haruka a smile as she places an arm around my shoulders, sweeping the curls off and bringing us close together. I gasped as I felt the side of my face press up against Haruka's side. She was so tall that I instantly felt safe but a bit embarrassed as we tried to find a good seat. We both sat down and I casually leaned my head towards her, but to my surprise I felt Haruka lie her head on top of mine. It felt so warm and inviting that I couldn't resist leaning my head against her shoulder and instantly I fell into a slumber.

Michiru had fallen asleep and although she looked so cute with that smile upon her face, I couldn't help but sigh. There went my chance of making a move on her. I would've woken her up and taken her home to sleep, but as soon as the movie came on, I was too intrigued. A couple times though, I saw her eyes flutter open for a second, but then she would fall back asleep. It wasn't until the movie was over that I woke her up.

"Come on, Michiru. It's time to go home now," I whispered gently into her ear and smiled as she opened those sky-blue eyes of hers, a smile crossing her features.

I'd help her up out of her seat as a sweet yawn passed those lips of hers and she stretched for a second or two, taking my hand once again as we made our way out of the theater. We had walked quietly and quite slowly, just enjoying the nightlife of Japan. Sometimes it was quiet and other times it was not. In this section of the city though, it was always noisy, and I wonder how anyone ever got any sleep around here. We took a lovely detour through the park where it was definitely a lot quieter. We liked to come here a lot when we had the time to. There was something about the part that both made us feel at ease and completely innocent, and we could always be very honest with each other here, even if we couldn't do so anywhere else. That was what I was hoping that we could be with each other tonight, completely honest. I stopped for a while and took another detour to a gazebo. It was a place that we both came to often, for two different reasons. One reason was the fact that she came to play her violin here sometimes, and the other reason we came here is because we liked the place. It was almost as if it were our own, personal hang out. She took a seat on the bench in the middle, and I followed suit as she patted the space next to her. I sat awfully close to her and even decided to wrap my arms around her waist.

"What were you thinking about tonight when we were standing in line, hmm?" I asked as I took one of her hands in my own and brought it up to my lips, leaning closer to her ear.

Her eyes had widened a bit, and I saw her mouth hang open a bit. I just smiled against her hand, bringing it back down into my lap to begin lightly stroking it with my fingers. I could see that she was surprised by my quite forward actions, but at the moment I could've cared less. The way that the pure moonlight was bouncing off other objects in the vicinity and lighting up her features made my heart pound. She was so beautiful, I couldn't help but stare at her. Her skin just seemed so milky-white and that hair of hers seemed to glitter and shone more brilliantly than I have ever seen it do so.

I had indeed been surprised by my friend's actions, but she had always been affectionate and delicate with me. It was one of the things that I loved about her so much. The racer could always be so boyish and rambunctious at times. She even picked fights with boys and girls that even dared to mess with me in her presence, something that I was very grateful about. I can't fight one bit, not with hand to hand combat at least. My wand and other weapons that make me a Sailor Scout are all that I can use. Haruka had brute strength that she kept up, sometimes getting even stronger. I could always feel it in her grasps and our embraces, which have started to become a lot more often than usual now that things have slowed down just a tad.

"I was thinking about how lucky I was to have you as a friend, and then I saw you staring at her," I said with a tone of jealousy.

I couldn't help it if I wanted to keep Haruka all to myself. She was my best and only friend. She showed me so much more affection than my own parents showed for me, and she was always doing things for me without expecting much in return. She was such a wonderful friend, and I felt that if I lost her to some other girl that maybe we wouldn't be as good as friends as we were now, so intimate with each other that it almost made me ache. I wasn't too afraid of a boy coming into her life. She could still be just as close to me without him expecting a thing.

I was quite surprised about Michiru's jealous outburst. She always seemed so calm and refined, but this was a completely different side of her, with different thoughts and feelings. My hear stopped for a second as I realized that she might be trying to tell me something. Was that really jealousy I heard in her voice, and if it was, did her jealousy mean that she held feelings for me in a non-friendly way? I gulped. I never could imagine a woman such as herself loving a tomboy like me, especially any other woman for that matter. That was a completely new concept to me, though I had always thought of being in a romantic relationship with her. This only made me want to pursue this even further, and when that sort of thing happened, I tended to get aggressive, which is exactly what I did. I didn't think that I'd get too aggressive with her though. I took her cheek into my hand gently and then leaned forward to place a hungry kiss on her lips. I've been wanting this for so long now that I think I felt my heart burst when our lips finally touch. I was totally blown away when I felt her hand fall upon my wrist and grasp it lightly as she leaned into the kiss as well and wriggled her tongue into my mouth. My teal eyes had opened wide to see her sky-blue ones closed, her lids lying lightly over them. There was so much passion concentrated in her face that my other hand came to grasp her forearm as I held her there, letting my tongue explore her mouth. When I pulled back, I was delighted to see a loving smile on her face as those hues suddenly fluttered open to greet my own.

"I love you, Haruka," she whispered sweetly, her face so close to mine that I could see every little bit of perfection upon it.

"I love you too, Michiru," I whispered back to her, tears freely falling from my teal orbs for the first time in front of her.

I had been touched by Haruka's emotion and was a bit startled to see her crying as a tear fell from her face and dropped upon my hand. I leaned upward to kiss away those flowing tears and smiled as I watched those lashes of hers flutter closed against her teal eyes. That kiss had been much more than I had expected it to be. I was still in quite a shock about it, even though my face wasn't betraying my emotions at the moment. I went back to thinking what I had thought about earlier, about couples not being honest with each other. Look at us! Here we were, sitting intimately together, sharing our feelings for each other without a second thought. I was surprised by Haruka's actions. She always kept her thoughts and feelings so well guarded, but now that she'd shown her true feelings, I completely understand her and why she did the things she did. Like me, she had been afraid to try something new, to see if I would feel the same way about her. We probably would never be totally honest with each other, but I did intend on showing her my paintings soon enough, no matter how scared I was. I wanted her to know of them too, and about the thoughts that ran through my head, about the visions, the dreams, and the horrific nightmares. We would be as honest as we could be with each other, and I know that in the end, no matter what other people think and say, we will both be happy together at last.