A/N: It's late and I'm not really sure where this chapter came from, but I kinda like it. Hope you enjoy it! Until next time--PCGirl.

Natalie pulled up to her apartment in the little blue convertible she'd decided to buy. It was a spur of the moment purchase, but knowing it was hers and she could enjoy it whenever she wanted made her smile. She grabbed the pictures off of the passenger seat and her purse before jumping out and going up to change real quick. She stopped when she saw her neighbor, and fellow college student, Marissa, walking up to her, "Hey."

"Hey. Where are you rushing off to? Or coming back from?"

"I got pictures developed and I was changing to go down to the beach for awhile. You want to join me?"

"Sure. Let me see the pictures though," she said, putting her hand out and not taking no for an answer. She flipped through them casually until she stopped at one, "Who's the hunk?" she grinned as she flipped it around to show Natalie.

Natalie began laughing, "That would be my brother—Rex. My baby brother to be exact and probably one of the biggest scam artists I know."

"Come on, he can't be that bad. What about the guy behind him? He's kinda cute too—in a dark and mysterious way."

"Huh?" asked Natalie as she took the picture back. They'd been taken at the airport the day she left and the only other guy there had been Kevin. She blushed as she realized he'd been there. "Oh my god—I didn't know he was there."

"Who is it?"

"John," she said quietly and repeated herself louder. "John."

"And who is John?" she teased.

"A friend—a good friend," she said while a smile appeared on her face. She'd been in California for two weeks and that night was still playing through her mind—the way he touched her gently and kissed her neck. The outward roughness of him melted away as they continued on in the night. She shook off the private thoughts and back up to Marissa, "Did you say something?"

"No, nothing," she grinned as she finished looking through the pictures and handed them back. "Alright—let me to get ready and I'll meet you back here in a few," she smiled as she turned and walked off.

John sat quietly in the chapel trying to figure everything out that was running through his head. He knew it all led back to one thing—Natalie and the truth that Cris was alive. She needed to know the truth—she deserved to know the truth and be allowed to decide where to go from there. The thought hit him quickly and he sighed before speaking, hoping the person he was addressing could here him from wherever she was, "Caitlyn—you always were the person that gave me the best advice. You told me what I should do about a case or problem I had—and I miss you for that. And for so much more.

"If someone were to tell me I'd been going through the motions of life with you still alive somewhere—I'd be angry and hurt, but I'd be so grateful for you to be alive. A part of me would be alive again—a part that I let live when I was closer to Natalie before.

"I know the same thing is probably true for Natalie when it comes to Cristian. Yeah, I know what I've got to do. I love you, Cait," he said with a sigh as he got up and walked out of the chapel—ready to let the final secret in his life go.

Natalie finished messing with her hair and settled down onto the couch. The beach had been fun, and the shopping even better, but now she just wanted to settle down for awhile and relax. She had two classes in the morning and then she wanted to go exploring the area more.

Her eyes wandered over to the photos sitting on the table and she smiled at reaching for them and flipping, missing her family and friends. She stopped at the picture with John in the background. He'd been there to see her off and she hadn't even known it. With a glance at the clock to figure out the time she grabbed the cordless phone and dialed his office—maybe he was still in and she could just check up on how everything was running without her.

She sighed as she got voice mail and hung up. Should she call his cell phone? He could be having an important dinner with Evangeline. A grin appeared on her face—it would be an innocent call—nothing more or less. She dialed and groaned again at getting his voice mail but this time decided to leave a message.

"Hey John—it's Natalie. I was just calling to see how everything was going at the station. Guess you're probably out with Evangeline," she said—extending the last syllable like she usually did when making a point. "I've still got my Llanview cell number so give me a call sometime. Bye!"

John caught Bo before he went into his office and stopped him, "Hey—I need a few days off."

"Can I ask what for, John?" he said, knowing the answer.

"It's something personal—I need to finish up on an old case."

"How old?"

"Let's just say almost two years—well, that's the starting point anyways. There's more also Bo—but I think you might already know anyways," he said with a half grin.

"Yeah, go take your few days off—just—don't expect anything immediate in return from whatever you're going to say."

He grinned again, "The only thing I might expect immediately is a door in the face, but I've got to try." John headed straight out of the station and to go pack a small bag and catch the next flight—never hearing Carly say that a messenger delivered a letter to him and it was sitting on his desk.

The knock on the door startled Natalie out of studying—and when she checked the peep hole she was even more surprised to see a messenger on the other side. "Can I help you?" she called through the closed door.

"Are you Natalie—Vega?" asked the man.

"Yes—why?"

"I've got some important papers for you from Pennsylvania—they need a signature."

"Ok, just a moment," she said as she opened the door and took the manila envelope from him. "Can I ask what these are?"

"No clue. Have a good day," he said as he took back his clipboard and walked off. Natalie sat down on the couch and pulled out the contents and took notice of a piece of paper that held a familiar handwriting on it.

Natalie,

Please don't be scared—it's really me, Cristian. I was scared and couldn't tell anyone that it was me when they sent me to Statesville. I didn't want you to be ashamed of being married to a murderer. John came to see me a few weeks ago—he actually knew it was me, but I made him promise me he'd never tell you. He wanted you to be able to find happiness again, and thought I could bring that to you, but I can't.


We've burned too many bridges and changed too much. I'm getting help though—and have hired a lawyer who says she might be able to overturn the verdict from Tico's death. It was her that drew up the annulment papers—I want you to find happiness Natalie, and I'm hoping that wherever you are you can and will find it again.

You deserve everything Natalie—everything that I promised you in our lives—I know you can and will find that. I wanted to be the one for you to put all your trust and dreams in and make them a reality-- I'm sorry it just can't be me to give it to you. If there's anyone to be angry with on keeping this secret from you it's me—not John. I know you—you opened up and let me see every scar on you and so I knew you'd stand by me forever. Promise me you'll learn to trust and open yourself to someone again—someone that can fulfill every dream you've had since you were a little girl in Atlantic City.

I love you, Natalie.

Cris

This had to be wrong—this was some cruel trick from that imposter. Her Cristian was dead—the DNA test had proved that. She'd never seen the test though—nobody had seen it except John. Could he have done that? Could he have kept that from her all these months?

That last night—there was something he wanted to tell her, but she wouldn't let him—something that he was sure would keep her in Llanview.

Her world was crumbling—the two men she trusted in her life that weren't a family member had been keeping a secret from her for months. How could they do this? How could they make a decision this life altering for her?

This was wrong—she'd come here to get away from the blackness that enveloped her in Llanview, but here it was again—staring back at her in the form of a letter. Was it ever going to get better? Would she ever find the happiness she wanted? Right then she wanted nothing more than to slap John McBain and tell him exactly where he could go, but the only thing she could do was crumble into the couch and lose herself in tears and doubt that she'd ever escape her life from before.

John was already on the plane to San Diego when Evangeline came strolling into the office—ignoring Carly when she said he wasn't in.

She walked into his office and looked around—a personal letter on his desk catching her eye—it was unopen, but she knew he wouldn't mind reading.

The words were cryptic, as if it was the secret code of somebody scared for the world to know of their existence just yet.

I took your advice. Am seeking psychiatric counseling now for what happened to me on the ship. As for N—she's getting a letter also. I told her not to blame you, but she's pretty hard headed and probably won't listen at first.

Just thought I'd give you a heads up before you get knocked senseless.


C.

Her jaw dropped as she figured everything out. This was her golden ticket—after this Natalie could be happy with Cristian and John would be all hers. It seemed like a sign from heaven that they were meant to be. Nothing would make Natalie want John back after this.

Nothing.