He hated himself.

He was wearing a whole in the soft, plush maroon rug that carpeted the master bedroom of Sonny's penthouse thinking of all the horrible things he had done to her over the past twenty four hours. He yelled, he screamed, he threatened he even went so far as to question an attorney about custody and now because of his actions she lay deathly still in a pool of red silken sheets.

She was so beautiful it was painful to look at her.

The visions were also painful. He was tortured into sleep last night with images of Elizabeth and Sonny raising his child. They were feeding him that horrible Gerber food from a jar, watching him learn to crawl, watching him take his first steps, hearing his first word, laughing with him, crying with him, changing all those diapers. They were a family, drawn together in times of need. It was like Carly and Sonny all over again except this time; this time he didn't give permission for anyone to raise this child. This time he didn't have a chance to decide. Elizabeth and Sonny didn't give him a choice; they didn't allow him any freedom.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face, stopping his pacing to lean against a large chest of drawers that was relatively knew to him. The dark cherry wood was probably purchased when the room was redone.

It was probably Elizabeth's design, it wasn't her favorite color, but she looked amazing in red.

He wished she would wake up. Her eyes fluttered open for a few brief seconds when he laid her down in the bed but then they shut again quickly as she buried herself further into the silk. He kept telling himself that she was exhausted, that she needed all the sleep that she could get but he still worried. He even wondered if he could call Bobbie. He would have taken her to the hospital but he knew that she hated it just as much as him.

Hate.

He remembered that feeling dancing around his heart last night when he saw those beautiful blue eyes of his son. A strong emotion filled with such anger he felt like he could tear the room to pieces in no time flat. He couldn't feel anything but love for his child but hate was what he felt for the years that he had lost. Hate was still burning inside of him, beneath the fear, beneath the love. It had simmered down to a feaster, something that still ached but was able to be controlled.

He wondered how she did that. How she managed to take himself, this shell of a man at times, and make him real, make him want her like he wanted no other, even after the betrayal.

That was the beauty that was Elizabeth Webber.

Hearing her moan softly, he took tentative steps towards the bed and a found a smile on her face. She was probably dreaming about Sonny, probably thinking about the man that had taken care of her of the past four years, the man that didn't leave for the simple reason that he was tired of fighting. She was probably dreaming of the one person who could give her everything that she ever wanted.

Regretfully, Jason walked quietly out of the room, shutting the door gently behind him. If he stayed there the room would close in on him and the hate would rise up once again. He needed air, room to breath, someplace else to go and sort it all out.

He was already jogging down the penthouse stairs when his name whispered past her slightly parted lips.

Elizabeth yanked her arm away from a startled Francis and sighed, "I have nothing against you but you dragged me here against my will."

Francis gave her a small smile, "You weren't kicking and screaming."

"You would've taken me either way," she said shrugging, "What am I doing here anyway?"

"I need to speak with you."

Elizabeth turned towards the stairs of the lavish penthouse and saw Sonny walking towards her in a dark gray suit with a purple silk shirt underneath. He always looked pressed and put together, hardly the image of a dangerous mobster, especially when he flashed those damn dimples.

Like he was doing now.

"I have nothing to say to you," Elizabeth said and turned towards Francis, "I want to…" She frowned when she realized the man was no longer behind her and the door to the penthouse was shut. She was locked in here until Sonny finished telling her whatever he wanted to say.

"No one is going to interrupt us," Sonny said as he walked over to his wet bar and poured himself a little of his favorite bourbon, "Especially Carly."

Elizabeth crossed her arms across her chest and stared at him, "I really don't want to hear anything you have to say."

"You're still upset," Sonny said as he moved over to the couch and sat down on the edge, "I understand, you felt Jaosn lied to you. If it makes you feel any better he wanted to tell you, I just felt like this needed to stay between us."

"You don't trust me," Elizabeth said, "And I don't blame you, not after what happened with Zander."

Sonny shrugged and took a long sip of his bourbon, "It's done, its water under the bridge."

"Ok," Elizabeth said. "I guess I'll see you around." She turned and headed for the exit as quickly as possible but was stopped by Sonny's voice.

"I don't know where he is."

She sighed and replied without looking at him, "I didn't ask."

"I figured you'd want to know."

"If I did," Elizabeth said turning towards him, "I would try and track him down myself. He did the right thing, he made the right decision."

"Jason was always good at telling when people were lying," Sonny said, "I could never do it…until right now. You need him, more than anything."

Elizabeth felt her hands ball into tiny fists, her nails digging into her skin. She hated when people told her what she needed, hated it even more when they were right.

"You don't know what I need."

She resumed her walk to the door, her hand was wrapped around the brass handle when she felt the tears start to form, his next words sending a chill down her spine.

"I know you don't have the flu," he said quietly.

Then, without even knowing how, she was in his arms, crying against his expensive Armani suit while he held her and whispered soothing words into her ear. She felt his hand rubbing her back as the last few weeks of tears slipped from her eyes onto his beautifully woven shirt.

"I didn't…I don't…" She sniffled, she coughed and then she started to cry again. She hated this, hated being weak, hated needing someone. She never wanted to go back to where she was before she met Jason Morgan. She wanted to be free, independent Elizabeth. Now, she was standing in the arms of his best friend, his mentor and she knew that she needed to accept the help he was offering.

Sonny pulled back and looked at her, wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. He smiled softly, revealing those infamous dimples that caused her to smile slightly.

"I'm going to take care of you," he said softly. "Whatever you need, whatever you want, it's taken care of, no questions asked. I'm here for you, Elizabeth."

Then he pressed a soft kissed to her forehead and hugged her tightly. For the first time in almost two months Elizabeth didn't feel alone.

Vista Point.

This is where his bike led him. The beautiful spot where they use to end up and talk for hours, about life, about love, about each other.

So many wonderful memories, so many ways to torture himself.

Jason sat down on the bench in front of the brick wall and ran his fingers through his spiky hair. He felt like it was all hitting him at once. He was a father, to a boy that was being raised by the woman he once cared about deeply and his mentor who was now dead.

Suddenly he wondered when the world he stopped spinning and titled on its axis.

Sonny Corinthos seemed invincible to the world, even to him at times. Wasn't that the reason for him to be around? He was the enforcer, he made sure people got Sonny's point and if they didn't he took care of it. He took the bullets, he did the deeds, he was the one that they came through. He protected Sonny so Sonny could in turn protect him, providing him with a home, a wealthily life, something to live for.

His life was to keep Sonny alive and now that he was gone he wasn't sure what to do.

He ran the organization before, he wore the suit and did what needed to be done. He stepped up the plate and allowed Carly to play dress up with him but it wasn't the same. People didn't look at Jason Morgan the way they did Sonny Corinthos. He knew that if he tried to step into Sonny's shoes this time there would be hell to pay, people to fight off, property to protect.

He now had a family he had to worry about.

But that wasn't just it. Did he want to fill Sonny's shoes? Did he want to try and be as good as the man who taught him? Did he want to yell and point his finger and scream and people to do it right or don't do it at all? Did he want to make Johnny his enforcer and trust him like Sonny trusted Jason? Did he want to replace a man that was irreplaceable?

Sonny taught him everything he needed to know. It wasn't just about the business, it was about living. He made him feel like a man while others made him feel like a brain damaged idiot. Sonny took a chance on a kid who practically just stumbled out of the hospital. He took a risk with Jason and Jason felt the need to pay him back ever since.

Of course they argued, and like brothers, like friends, it was about women sometimes, but they always managed to find their way back to solid ground. Sonny liked to throw around the fact that he was the one who gave the orders but they both knew, like everyone knew, they were equal partners.

The sign read Corinthos-Morgan Warehouse.

But where did betrayal come in? When did he and Sonny start to step over the line? Did it all start with Carly? With that one passionate night when a destructive Sonny tried to prove to Jason that he was no better than a common thug? Did it start when Elizabeth entered the picture and made Jason question things he would have done before without hesitant? Was it when Jason had to step down as the boss and allow Sonny to slide right back in?

It couldn't be that, he never minded when Sonny returned, when Sonny took control. It was so much easier when he knew that he could always step back down, always return to the motorcycle riding enforcer who put fear in men. He didn't mind playing boss when he had to but he would've gladly turned everything over to the capable hands of his friend, just for a moment of fast riding on the cliff roads.

Those moments were the best when he could leave the work with Sonny and ride off with her.

He wondered if his friend ever experienced that. Moments of freedom with Elizabeth Webber.

He wasn't sure if it was the scenery that was making him think, the way the sun moved through the trees and the way the falls were falling off of the leaves. He wasn't sure if it was the chuckle of Sonny Corinthos or innocent smile of Elizabeth Webber that made the hurt start to fade for a little bit.

All he could think were moments of he and Sonny, moments they shared with the world when they stood side by side, facing down cops, facing down other organized crime members, moments when they were alone, discussing things that no one ever imagined.

Moments that Jason would do anything to get back.

He never looked forward, never looked back, never regretted anything in his damn life. Now, all of a sudden, the two most important people in his life were out of his reach and he could do nothing more but look forward, look back. He almost felt like he was in that hospital bed once again, feeling nothing, knowing nothing, going nowhere.

But he had to go somewhere, simply because he walked out on something.

Sonny's enforcer, first, last and always. Her words were bouncing around in his head like one of those pinball machines Michael liked so much at the arcade. Sonny's enforcer, that's all she claimed he was.

But he knew better, she knew better, they were never going to admit it. One step forward, two steps back.

He didn't know how or why he did it, but his hand was on hers as she reached for the doorknob and he spun her around to face him.

There something in his eyes that Elizabeth couldn't describe, something unfamiliar that seemed to come from the depths of his soul.

It scared her and excited her all at the same time.

"No, not that easily,"

Then his lips were on hers, her back against the door and his fingers were caressing her face. She felt warm, hot, giddy, a million different things all rolled up into one as her arms wrapped around his waist, pulling her tight against him.

She couldn't walk out, not this time, he wouldn't let her. This wasn't going to be how they said goodbye. There were no goodbyes between them. So his mouth caressed hers, then they moved away from her lips, down her neck, across that sweet collar bone as his hands found the hem of her shirt.

This was happening, she thought as she pulled at his shirt. There was no second guessing, no one else was involved here, no words would be needed. She needed to fell him, touch him, taste him before her mind got the better of her.

She let out a small whimper when he pulled away.

He looked at her as he held out his hand, that light in his eye was back, the one that only appeared around her.

She twined her fingers through his and let him lead her upstairs.

The night he chose Sonny over her, the night his son was conceived, the next morning when he walked out.

In that moment of remembrance he tried to find the hurt, the hatred once again he felt for his mentor and friend who had betrayed him for the one woman they now seemed to have in common.

But when he thought of Sonny, of all the things they had been through, of his best friend's relationship with Elizabeth he could only come up with one thing.

Tears.

He must have brought her up here and it must have been difficult.

Elizabeth leaned back against her huge bureau that Sonny bought for her at her request and stared at the king size bed in front of her. The silken sheets lay in a tangle from when she realized where she was and jumped out of bed.

Those damn sheets still smelled like him.

She couldn't remember what happened after she fainted but she knew that Jason had caught her and he would be the only one to bring her upstairs. That led to him facing the facts that she shared a room, a life, with his best friend.

The torture that she heaped upon him.

The torture that she felt herself.

She couldn't describe how much she loved those sheets. The way the felt against her body after a long hard day of learning the legal system, the way they wrapped around her legs as she snuggled under the covers, the way they warmed her on the winter nights, the way they clung to her when…

No, she couldn't go back there, she couldn't dare.

But standing in the middle of the room, once again donning his purple shirt, she couldn't help but remember the glorious times.

"You know, that face worries me," he said revealing his dimples, "I usually at least get half a smile after making love to a woman."

Elizabeth looked over at him from where she laid on her back in the middle of the bed, "I'm waiting for the guilt to come."

Sonny let out a small sigh as he moved his les between hers and slid his arm around her waist, "The guilt."

"Yeah, the guilt," Elizabeth said as rolled onto her side and popped an elbow up so she can rest her head in her hand. "It's not there though, I don't know where it is."

"You were expecting it?" he asked as he ran his fingers through her hair. He was distracting her in ways he didn't realize.

"Of course," she said watching his fingers warily, "I mean, after the first kiss, it was there, it hit me hard. I just wasn't…"

"Neither of us were ready," Sonny said as he ran a finger down her cheek, "We both knew that. That was almost a year ago, Elizabeth."

"I know," she said quietly as she looked down at the silk sheet wrapped around her naked body. "I'm actually starting to feel guilty about not feeling guilty."

She laughed as she let herself fall back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. She felt him withdraw from her, his leg moving towards his side of the bed, his arm leaving a cool place against her skin.

"This was so beautiful," she whispered and looked over at him. He was still watching her, staring at her with those chocolate eyes. "I never expected it. I mean it's you, you're my best friend, so I knew…I mean, but this…"

"Yeah," he whispered as his arm returned to its previous residence. He pulled her closer, bringing the side of her body up against his. "Part of me wants to feel guilty, wants to feel like this is wrong, this is…but I can't Elizabeth, I can't do it."

"Don't," she said as she leaned towards him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, "Sonny I don't know what's happening between us, I don't want to ask, I don't want to know. What I do know is," she said as she interlaced her fingers with his, "Is that I'm so content, I'm happy, I'm satisfied with my life and that's thanks to you."

"I just…"

"You took care of me," she whispered as she placed a damp kiss against his neck, "I don't care what your reasons for doing that are I just want…" she pulled back and looked at him. "I want so much…"

He caressed her cheek with his hand and pressed a kiss to her swollen lips. She was beautiful to him, an innocence that he never tasted before. It should be shameful but if felt the total opposite. It felt right.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered as his lips hovered over hers.

Deep blue eyes met dark brown ones.

"Make love to me," she whispered. "Over and over again."

She wandered down the stairs of the penthouse in her bare feet, intent on eating her first meal in almost two days. It had to be past one a.m. but she knew she wouldn't sleep for a while. It was back to the couch again tonight, she couldn't bear to be all tangled up in Sonny's presence.

She walked past the couch in the darkened room and came to a halt when the front door opened quietly and a familiar presence entered.

Jason stood before her, looking exhausted and as beautiful as the first time she laid eyes on him in Lucky's boxcar. If he was startled to see her in nothing but a dress shirt, Sonny's dress shirt, he didn't let it show. He stuffed his hands in his leather jacket and looked straight at her.

"Whatever is happening between us, whatever we have to deal with, we'll do it after we bury…" he took what seemed to be a shaky breath and let out a sigh. "Sonny."

Then he was gone, as quietly as he came, with the locked door behind him.

Elizabeth felt the need to pinch herself, she wasn't sure if he ever was really there.

But she still felt it, the hate, the rage, somewhere buried inside of him, hidden by the pain. It would indeed have to be dealt with and she knew that things were far from over but for right now they had to prepare to say goodbye to the man they both loved.