Story of A Princess Unknown – Chapter 19 - Reflections
This whole story, especially Chapter 15, is dedicated to Matt, Vanessa and their family. Matt, rest in peace.
Well it seems that threatening to bite people who read and don't review works! Hehe! But I am extremely hacked of – my other fanfic, Fight For Tortall, went down from 21 reviews a chapter to 11. Not a good day – and I only have seven for my latest chapter. So if you love Tamora Pierce PLEASE r & r.
This is the second to last chapter (probably) of this fic, but don't worry, it will be a cliffie (sorta) ending and I am slowly developing ideas for a sequel. I shall reveal the title and maybe a bit of plot next chappie. It probably won't happen for a little while as I want to finish Fight for Tortall first. Sorry, some of this chapter is just repeats, but there is a lot of new stuff and i wanted memories in here. Most of Luke's memories are new. Memories are in bold. Thoughts in italics.
Breathless74 – lucky you! I LOVE cross country, haven't done any for ages.
Lovenotknown – YES! I LOVE frankie too! He is the best pony ever – I got him about a year ago and he's the cutest, sweetest little guy.
Magewhisperer – er. Right. Yep. Ahem. Well.
Galelasa – say hi to Buck for me! NZ is pretty cool. Wide open spaces. But my best friend just broke her arm yesterday while she was riding! So NZ is not a good place at the moment!
Hope you enjoy the story – longest yet i think!
Recap: "No, I couldn't, could I? But have you ever heard of a reason called treason? Plotting against, or possibly even killing the ruler of one's country?"
Jared turned white and looked at Eve. "But ... who told you?"
A cold voice with a sneer in it came from behind. "I did. What did you think spies did?"
Jared spun around to hiss at Luke, "I should have known."
"You two, stop it!" Eve said – but anger towards Luke showed in even her eyes. He flinched.
"Little miss peacemaker now, are we?" Callum laughed. Eve ignored him.
"You can't kill us! Eve had nothing to do with that! And – and it was in self-defence!"
"But no one else knows that, do they? She was an accomplice in the King's death. And here, with my rebels surrounding me, I am in control. I can do anything that I want to do. And none of the kingdom would be any the wiser. They may not have liked Mordred – but Kyrrians do not like a killer, either. A murderer."
Jared flinched, pain showing in his eyes. Eve squeezed his hand and he looked at her gratefully.
She held her head high and turned to Callum. "So you condemn us to die?"
"That I do. You will hang tomorrow morning in the gallows on the edge of the city."
"Then so be it." Eve's voice rang out, cold and angry.
"Take them away!"
Luke took hold of Eve's arm again. His touch was cold, like ice. She looked into his eyes, trying to see if he felt something, anything, at seeing his childhood friend condemned to die. But there was nothing. There never was, she thought angrily.
Another rebel – Blake - led Jared down, underground to the dungeon where Eve had been kept for days now. He struggled all the way, to no avail. Blake was stronger than he was, and both Jared and Eve were thrown back into their prison. Night was coming on and it was colder and damper than before.
Both immediately ran to the other. Jared folded his arms about Eve, and she buried her head in his chest like she did whenever she was scared or sad. "I don't want to die!" she choked out.
Jared stroked her hair, murmuring, "You were so brave. I'm sorry ... I thought you'd abdicated of your own choice. I was – angry at you for given up all that I'd won for you."
She pulled back slightly, looking into Jared's face. "Did you think I'd do that, after all we'd been through together? Did you think I'd willingly leave you after you'd killed your father and were lying there hurt?"
Jared dropped his eyes from hers. "Deep down, inside, I think I knew that I was wrong. I couldn't doubt you. The look you gave me made me know something was wrong. My ego just got in the way for a while!"
Eve laughed softly. But he could see that her smile didn't really meet her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.
Eve laced her fingers through his. "Don't worry. I believe you. After all, you've found out a lot about me in these last few days."
"You're right. You – a spy? I can't imagine you sneaking around trying to eavesdrop on people."
She laughed a little awkwardly. "I don't know why I got involved with it all from the start. I should have seen through it from the beginning – through Callum and all the others. I was such an idiot."
"You're not. You and Luke were pretty desperate, remember. Don't talk any more about that, though." He looked sad again. "This is our last night together. Let's make it happy."
"Jared, what are we going to do?" Eve burst out. "There's no way to escape. I tried everything I could think of."
"We're just going to have to accept our fate. And hope. That someone, somewhere, will recognise that our fate is unjust, and help us." Jared's words sounded brave, but inside he was as scared as Eve. He was terrified of death.
"We should try and get some sleep."
They lay down together, Eve's head on Jared's chest, his arms around her.
"I love you so much, Jared. If this is my last night alive – I'm glad it's with you."
"Me too, Eve." Jared held her tighter, as if by holding and loving eachother as much as they could, they could block out the next morning. They could make tomorrow never come. They could make their love last forever.
If only.
"Remember the first time we saw eachother?" Jared asked Eve. Only a few weeks ago – yet it seemed like a lifetime.
She blushed. "I was so angry at you. I thought you were spying on me!"
"I'm glad you figured out that I wasn't!"
Slowly, Jared bent his head close to hers. His eyes asked her a question, and intuitively she replied. Yes. They joined minds once again, and they relived all their memories. Together.
Eve's head snapped up. She gasped when she saw a young man with dark brown hair and hazel-green eyes watching her – and the look of peacefulness on her face was replaced by one of fear and panic. She suddenly realised that her wet shift was see through. Eve felt humiliated.
"What do you think you are doing?" She spat.
"Keep your hair on, I'm not doing anything," he replied indignantly.
She didn't wait to listen.
Jared felt Eve laugh. I can't believe I was so stupid! She thought to him.
As soon as they were outside where Cythera couldn't hear them, Eve hissed at him,
"Don't think I've forgotten – I'll get you back for that."
"I wasn't trying to do anything," Jared protested.
"I don't care!" Eve repled. "Jerk," she whispered under her breath.
Eve winced. Sorry about that. I was still ... er ... angry at you. She felt Jared smile mischeviously, as he had that day where he had tried to annoy her so much.
"Hide me!" He gasped. But it was too late.
Eve could have laughed at the look of horror on the prince's face.
"They follow me around EVERYWHERE! Just, I don't know, pretend that you're with me, Enna! Then maybe they'll go away!"
"WHAT? NO WAY! I am NOT walking down the street holding YOUR hand like some sort of ... lovestruck noble girl!"
You don't seem to mind holding my hand now! Jared thought cheekily to Eve. She blushed again. He felt that too.
"This is a portrait of the last rulers, King Char and Queen Ella."
Eve suddenly felt like she couldn't breath. Jared noticed that she was crying. Did I do something to upset her? "Enna? What's wrong? I didn't think that you'd be so affected by a painting!" He tried to joke. She glared at him and angrily swiped her tears away. Oops. Wrong move, Jared thought regretfully.
I'm sorry, he thought to her. Then the enormity of what he had said, combined with what he knew now dawned on him. Oh god! I didn't know that they were your parents.
It's ok, she replied, dry eyed. I was being oversensitive. She felt him squeeze her hand.
He smiled mockingly. "Does little Enna still sleep with her blankie?"
"Give it BACK!" She screamed.
Instead, Jared held it out of her reach and ran out the doorway. Eve followed him, still screaming.
"You JERK! Give it BACK to me or I'll ..."
"What?" He called back to her. "Beat me up?"
"Yes! I will, you arrogant jerk!"
I'd like to see you beat me up! Jared told her.
Well, we can arrange that! She shot back.
"I want to trust you, Jared. But - I'm not sure I can put everything into words."
"Enna - I can see inside your head, and you can see inside mine. If you want to, we can see all each other's secrets and memories. But only if you want to."
He took her hands, reassuring her. "I'll take care of you, Enna. I won't let anything happen to you."
That was the first time I think I knew I loved you. You seemed so kind, like you really wanted to help me.
She felt Jared's gaze fill with love.
Eve threw herself out of the vision, sobbing wildly. Father, father …
She vaguely felt Jared's arms come around her, and she buried her face in his chest, her tears flowing faster. "Enna? I mean Eve - what's wrong? Please - tell me - who was that? Did you know him?" She could hear the tears in Jared's voice.
"I … I can't!" She choked out. She could feel Jared's body shaking, but he wouldn't give into the tears. He tightened his arms around her, and her crying lessened - she was glad of the comfort he gave her.
She felt Jared fill with shock. He hadn't thought about it before.
The vision brought back terrible memories for both of them.
He ... he was your father, wasn't he?
He felt her nod mutely, reliving the vision which had haunted her nightmares again and again. Jared tightened his arms around her, felt her relax into him.
Jared's cool fingers grasped her chin, forcing her to look into his greeny-hazel eyes. He gently smudged away the rest of her tears. Then he spoke softly to her, still looking deep into her eyes. "Eve - I'll be your friend."
He traced the contours of her face, his eyes never leaving hers. Eve felt like she was frozen in time – she could do nothing but stare right back at Jared, wishing that this moment would never end.
"Jared – I think I might love you."
She felt him smile.
"You know what, Eve? I think I might love you too." But he wasn't sure that she'd heard – she was already asleep.
Then, suddenly, he scooped Eve up and walked out to deeper water.
Eve was hammering at his arms. "Put me down, you jerk!" She laughed.
"Not happening!" He shot back.
Then he dunked her in the water. He let her up right away, but she was soaked right through. When Eve stood up, she was spluttering with indignation. And dripping with water.
He grabbed the fist she was shaking at him and pulled her close. Suddenly Eve felt like she was underwater again – she couldn't breathe. "Jared, I ..."
He silenced her, gently pulling a strand of dark hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. Then he kissed her.
The vision changed to show them at the ball.
Eve, please. Only the happy stuff. She agreed. The vision changed once more.
Jared woke up. He started too when he saw her – then the previous night's events came flooding back to him. Eve stared into his eyes, wondering at the joy she saw there.
"You're awake!" He murmured.
She gently traced the teartracks still visible on his cheeks. "Why were you crying?" She whispered.
He held her tightly and she winced with pain. "It doesn't matter now. Just sleep, Eve. I'll take care of you."
They faded out of the vision together.
Jared noticed she was crying, tears trailing silently down her white cheeks. She wouldn't look at him, lowered her head.
"Eve, what's wrong? Please, you can tell me." He pulled her close again, and she sobbed quietly into his chest.
"I can't ... can't bear it. I can't leave you, can't leave everything that's happened, everything that's brought us together. It's not fair!"
Jared cried too. He pressed his face to hers and their tears mingled until they didn't know which one of them was crying harder.
Their tears eventually stopped. Eve raised her beautiful eyes to his, eyelashes still glinting with the traces of tears, and Jared tipped his head down to meet hers. He kissed her softly, but it was more than just a kiss.
It was a kiss filled with the hope and promise of a lifetime. A kiss filled with the hope and despair that they were going through. A kiss filled with their love for eachother and their world. A kiss that said more than words ever could.
They broke apart. "I love you," Eve choked out.
"Love you too," he smiled and rested his head on her shoulder.
Both knew that they had all that they would ever need.
Later that night they fell asleep in eachother's arms, hoping that tomorrow would never come, but accepting their fate.
Jared was dreaming. Like the dream when he was injured, faces flashed past him, people who had shaped his life, made him who he was. His mother who he had never known.
"Be strong, my child. You never knew me, but I love you more than anything. Whatever happens tomorrow, be strong, for Eve needs you."
He nodded.
Morgan. He could see, with her, a man with blonde hair and blue eyes. Both looked infinitely happy. "You used my gift wisely. You helped Eve trust you, and you found a true love. Your múirn beatha dán. Well done."
His father. The man looked old, beaten. "You killed me. I accept that. Now you get what's coming to you." And that same familiar snarl. Jared sighed. Some things never change.
Oliver, the kind inkeeper. "You were like a son to me, Jared. I don't believe this nonsense they're saying. I can't find you. I'm sorry, lad. Be strong."
Eve's face. He saw all the memories they had relived that night. He saw how deep and true their love was. And he knew that whatever happened tomorrow, wherever they were, they, and their love, would be together, in eachother's hearts, forever.
Eve was dreaming. The faces of people she knew flashed by her – some kind, others not.
Coral. "You're still a kitchen wench to me, Eve. That's all you'll ever be."
Colin. "You never helped Luke, did you, Eve? Stay away. We never wanted you here."
Their words still cut her like a knife, long as she had been away from the village she used to call home.
A woman with dark hair like her own, and a man with identical green eyes. Smiling down at her, so much love in their eyes. Like Jared.
"Mum! Dad!" She gasped, feeling tears sliding down her cheeks again. But tears of joy at seeing her parents for the first time.
Her mother stroked her hair. "Evangeline, my baby." Sorrow showed in her eyes. "I'm sorry we were never there for you."
Her father spoke, deep despair, and yet love too, showing in his eyes. "We had given up. We were desperate. I'm sorry."
Eve loved him for apologising. She had loved them forever, she realised. And she told them so.
"Don't worry. I was alright without you, though I've loved you forever. I'm proud that you were my parents."
"We're proud, too, Eve. Proud that you are our daughter. Whatever happens tomorrow – we love you. Forever. Know that, and be strong."
They began to fade from Eve's vision. "Please, don't go, I want to talk to you!" she cried desperately.
But all she heard was the echo of her mother's voice. "We are always with you, Eve."
She woke up, held tight in Jared's arms, her cheeks wet with tears. My parents. I saw them. She wondered if she and Jared's love echoed the love her parents' had shared so many years ago.
She stared at the kind, handsome face of the man she loved so much. And she knew, like with her parents, even if both of them died the next day, they would be together, forever.
Luke was staring resentfully through the bars of Eve's prison. He knew he was really eavesdropping, and that he shouldn't be – but typical Luke, he didn't care.
She should still be with me, not that arrogant prick who calls himself a prince! But Luke knew, deep down, that Jared was deeper than he seemed, and that he loved Eve more than Luke ever had.
Memories that he did not want to remember were coming back, assaulting him once again.
A little girl with dark hair and emerald eyes, about seven, was huddled in the corner of a doorstep, of some abandoned house. She was sucking her thumb and had teartracks down her cheeks. Clutching a ragged blanket, she rocked back and forth, trying to keep warm as the biting wind knifed through her thin shift.
Luke was walking by when he saw her. Aged eleven, he had younger siblings so he knew a sad child when he saw one. He walked up to the little girl and bent down to talk to her.
"Are you alright? What's your name?" Luke asked.
The little girl gulped back more tears before replying, "I'm Eve."
"What's wrong?"
"Co – Coral won't give me any food. And I've been working all day, and I'm so hungry."
Luke noticed that she was really thin, even compared to the rest of the villagers. He held out his hand to Eve.
"Well, Eve, come with me. I think you'd better come to my house and we can get you some food."
She looked at him, slowly, distrustfully, for a moment. Then she seemed to make a decision, and her small, grimy hand took hold of his.
Luke was walking through the village that same day, still holding Eve's hand. He was taking her to get some food from the market with him, and was treating her as one of his little brothers or sisters – easily lost if he didn't hold onto them tightly.
She'd been shy at his house, talking to no one except him. But now she was chatty and happy, and seemed to have adopted Luke as an older brother.
Suddenly, some of his friends came racing across the street to talk.
"Hey Luke, you wanna play?" one of his friends asked.
Luke shook his head. "Nope, sorry, shopping for mum."
They caught sight of Eve holding onto him. "Hey, Luke, that's not you're sister."
"No, this is Eve. Say hi to them, Eve," but the little girl had retreated behind him once more, overcome with shyness in front of all the people.
"Hey, Luke's got a girlfriend!" The rest of the group took the chant up. Eve looked terrified. Luke looked embarrassed.
"Luke's got a girlfriend!"
"She is NOT my girfriend! I'm just ... just helping her!"
"Hey Luke – betcha didn't know this! She's the little wench of old Lord Colin!"
He turned in surprise. "Eve? Are you? Well, I mean ..."
"And that old dead Lady Anna!" The boys taunted them.
Eve suddenly turned angry. "Don't say her name like that!" she screamed, flying at the boy who'd said it and feebly hitting him with her fists. "Don't say Anna's name like that!"
Luke stood motionless, not defending her, not helping her. He just stood there.
The boy pushed Eve off him roughly and she fell onto the hard cobbles. Quickly, she scrambled to her feet, and with a last look at look, ran as fast as she could back to the manor.
"Luke, you can't go hanging around with riff-raff like that! She's just a servant wench! You're much better with us."
His friend slung his arm around Luke's shoulders. Luke nodded mutely.
His traitor mind recalled something else. Eve, aged thirteen.
She was more beautiful than at seven – but still had the same porcelain features, green eyes and dark hair. She was bent over, trying to lug two heavy buckets of water from the river. But she could barely pick them up.
Luke sauntered casually over to her. "Hey, Eve. You want some help?"
She ignored him. He caught her hand and held it, then turned her around, forcing her to look at him. "Eve, what's the matter?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"It's YOU! The way you treat me when your friends are around us. Like I'm nothing to you. But – I was sure I was your friend. I guess I was wrong."
She wrenched her hand out of his grasp and turned away.
Why can't she understand? Luke thought. I have to keep up my image! Luke was sixteen now. He didn't want to face it – but he really would have liked to be more than friends with Eve.
But she's a servant girl. Imagine what my friends would say! And she's too young, only thirteen. She continued to ignore him while trying to lift the heavy buckets. I don't think she even wants me as just a friend right now! He thought ruefully.
Grabbing one of the buckets, he smiled at Eve, asking for forgiveness. And, sucker that she was, she smile back. Grabbing the other bucket, they continued back up to the manor house.
And memories of only a few weeks ago.
After her shopping was done, Eve waited with Luke for a while, just talking about how things were going for her. She told him how Coral had been giving all the work lately since another maid had left.
"I wish I could leave too. Leave and NEVER come back. But I'd have nowhere to go - no family. But I suppose I'm lucky - no ties to family or anyone.
"You've got ties to me, Eve. I'd miss you awfully if you went," Luke said softly. He grasped her chin and pulled it up, making her look him straight in the eyes. She had never noticed how blue they were before - a deep, clear shade of blue. He pulled her closer.
But suddenly, Eve pulled out of his grasp.
"What? What did I do? Eve?"
But she was already running back up the road leading to the house. Her words floated back on the wind. "I'm sorry, Lucas."
And days after that:
Luke came back shortly. "Here; some bandages, and I brought some water and cloths as well. Now, will you just show me what's wrong?"
"I ... kind of got in trouble last night for coming home a bit late."
She heard his sharp intake of breath when he saw the jagged lines across her back.
"Eve! Who did this to you? There's laws against this, you know!"
"I know, all right," she replied bitterly. "But who's going to enforce them? Who, in their right mind, would care about a servant, these days? Not the king, that's for sure. The prince? Does he care? Or maybe even Lord Colin? Do you think HE cares?" Her eyes flashed dangerously, showing how angry she was. "There's no one for people like me, Luke. And there never will be."
Silence. Then,
"I'm sorry, Luke. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's no one's fault but the king's. I know life isn't exactly easy for you either."
"Actually, I came to ask you a favour. My mum and all my brothers aren't feeling too well at the moment. None of them are up to working – could you maybe ask the Lord if we could borrow a small amount of money, just to buy some food for the moment?"
"I'll ask, Luke, as you're my friend. But it won't do any good. You know he hates me. But because it's you, I'll do it."
Luke stepped closer, his blue eyes never leaving her deep green ones. She smoothed a lock of ice-blonde hair out of his face. "To say thankyou ..." he murmured.
Then his soft lips met Eve's. She was so shocked that at first she couldn't respond, but then she sank into him and deepened the kiss. Then, she broke away. "I've got to go," she said, looking around for the water buckets.
"Eve." he said, causing her to look into his eyes again. "I know you think no one cares. But, Eve – I care.""Are you cold? Cause you could come over here, you know. We could keep each other warm..."
"Luke! It wouldn't be ... proper."
"Since when do you care about 'proper', Eve? Are you just scared to sleep near me?" Luke replied in a teasing voice.
"I am NOT scared!" Eve said indignantly, sitting up. "I bet you just snore!"
Luke laughed at the annoyed look on her face.
"Fine! I'll come over – just cause I'm cold, though! And don't you DARE try anything with ME, Lucas!" He laughed again as Eve came over to him.
"Shut up and go to sleep!" She came closer but was till tense near Luke. He put an arm over her waist and he gradually felt her relax and curl closer to him. It WAS warmer curled up with Lucas, Eve noticed. She drifted off to sleep, feeling happier than she had in a long time.
"But ... Eve – I thought you loved me! What about US?"
"There just .. can't be an us for a while," Eve replied softly. "I thought I knew who I was. Now I've found out I have – I HAD parents, I'm the rightful heir to the throne – and I have to spend time with the prince who replaced me!"
"Oh, I get it. You're swooning over Jared like a lovesick noble girl," Luke sneered.
"Luke! You know that's not true! I'm just so ... messed up right now! Can't you see? I need you to be there for me!" Her voice broke with pain.
"Why don't you just get Prince Jared to be 'there for you' instead?" He replied scathingly, then turned and stormed out the door. He felt a twinge of regret, remembering Eve's anguished, pain filled eyes. But he was too angry to care.
Luke felt so alone now. He was just one of hundreds of spies who attended the new "king".
More than that, he felt awful about how he'd treated Eve.
Luke had made his decision.
Hope you liked it! You won't get the stuff about Morgan and Hunter and muirn beatha dans unless you've read Sweepby Cate Tiernan. It basically means soul mate but you really should read the Sweep series!
Now review!
Love Amy