Chapter 5: The World Finds Out

In the middle of the night, a thunderstorm began to take place over Arlen. It caused loud bangs of thunder that woke up several of the citizens. Among these was Luanne. She ran over to the Hills' house because she was frightened by the storm. Luanne rang the doorbell several times until Hank showed up at the door.

"Luanne? What brings you here at this hour?" Hank asked, sounding tired.

"I got scared by the storm and I wondered if I could stay here with you and Aunt Peggy," Luanne said.

"Sure, I guess," Hank said. "Come on in."

Luanne walked inside and noticed that there was a blanket on the sofa. "Uncle Hank, are you sleeping on the sofa?" Luanne asked.

"Yes, why?" Hank said.

"I'm just wondering why you aren't sleeping with Aunt Peggy," she said.

"Well, Peggy's been mad at me lately, so she didn't want me to sleep with her tonight," Hank said, getting under the blanket on the sofa.

"I'm sorry about that, Uncle Hank," Luanne said. She went down the hall and went to the door to Hank and Peggy's bedroom. She heard deep breathing and motion from behind the door. It sounded like there was someone else in the room with Peggy! Luanne cautiously opened the door and jumped back in shock when she saw Bill and Peggy practically welded together! "Mr. Dauterive?" Luanne said.

Bill jerked off Peggy and scooted out of bed. "I wasn't doing anything! Don't look at me, though! I'm naked!" he said.

"Mr. Dauterive, just what were you doing with Aunt Peggy in bed?" Luanne wondered.

"N-nothing," Bill stuttered.

"Oh, Bill, be a man. Bill and I were making out," Peggy said.

Luanne gave Bill a nasty look. "Is that true, Mr. Dauterive?" Bill blushed and timidly nodded. Luanne didn't look so disgusted anymore. "Aunt Peggy, Mr. Dauterive, could you make room for one more? I came over because I was scared of the storm."

"Well, I don't know…" Peggy started.

"Sure, Luanne! The more the merrier!" Bill said. Peggy scooted over a little bit, and then Bill got back in bed and moved closer to Peggy. Then, Luanne got undressed and joined them in bed. "This is fun," Bill said, looking at Peggy and Luanne.

Suddenly, there was a bang of lightning. "Mr. Dauterive, could you hold me? I'm scared," Luanne said.

"Aw, sure honey," Bill said. He scooted closer to Luanne and gave her a big, tight hug.

TIME LAPSE 2 hours later

The thunderstorm was still going strong. More and more citizens were awakening by the horrifying thunder.

Bobby woke up after hearing a clap of thunder that seemed only a few miles away. "AAH!" he yelled. He sprang out of his bed in fright and ran out to the hall where Hank and Peggy's bedroom was. "Mom! I'm scared of the thunder!" he yelled. But he looked very surprised when he noticed that his mother was not the only one in bed.

In bed with her were Mr. Dauterive and even Luanne! Bobby was too young to understand what they were doing, so the only thing he said was, "Mr. Dauterive, were you and Luanne scared of the storm, too?"

"I was," Luanne said. "Until Bill made me relax."

"Make room for another? I'm so scared of the thunder," Bobby said.

"No, Bobby," Peggy said. "We're jam packed in here and we've all got… grown up things to do. Go to the living room to see if your father will let you sleep there."

"There's more people here to make me feel better," Bobby said, climbing into bed next to Peggy.

"Oh, what's the use?" Peggy said.

TIME LAPSE The next morning, 9:00 am

Hank woke up in the living room. He stood up from the sofa and looked in the kitchen. Normally, Peggy was in there either washing dishes or something else. She was not in the kitchen. "Peggy? Peggy? Where are you?" Hank called. He did not hear anything. "Maybe she's still in bed," Hank said. He walked down the hall and opened the door. He jumped back and screamed.

Luanne, Bill, Peggy, and Bobby were all sleeping in bed together! To make matters worse, they were all tightly clinging to one another. "JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" demanded Hank. The gang woke up and looked nervously at Hank. They all scooted far apart from each other. Hank turned to Bill. He had forgotten that Bill had come over the night before. "AND BILL, JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING TO MY WIFE, LUANNE, AND POSSIBLY EVEN BOBBY? I'M KICKING YOUR FAT ASS!"

Bill jumped out of bed and ran out of the house with no clothes at all. Hank followed him out the door and over to his house. "Bill, you don't EVER mess with my Peggy again!" shouted Hank.

Meanwhile, Dale, Nancy, and Boomhauer were hanging out at the fence. They watched as Hank chased naked Bill over to his house. "That's the spirit, Hank!" shouted Dale. "Finish him!"

Boomhauer chuckled. "This is purdy dang ol' funny, man," he said. "Talkin' bout dang ol' Bill getting chased by Hank, man."

The Hills' next door high-class Laotian neighbors, Kahn and Mihn Souphanousinphone came out to see what the excitement was. At this point, Hank and Bill were running in circles in Bill's front lawn. Bill was still naked, and Hank hadn't even gotten out of his pajamas. "Hey! Redneck neighbor Dauterive! Put some clothes on!" shouted Kahn. A few moments later, the Souphanousinphones' daughter, Connie stepped outside.

"Kahn, Jr., get back in the house! There is a nude redneck being chased by a propane salesman!" Mihn ushered Connie back inside.

Hank and Bill were wrestling in the garage when John Redcorn pulled up in his jeep to Dale, Boomhauer, and Nancy. "Hello, Nancy, Dale, and Boomhauer," he said.

"Hello, John Redcorn," Nancy said.

"Mr. Redcorn," greeted Dale.

"Yo, man," Boomhauer said.

"What is all the excitement over at Bill's house?" John Redcorn asked.

"Dang ol' Bill talkin' bout slept with Peggy, man," Boomhauer said.

"Yeah, and Hank's about to tear Bill from limb to limb," Dale said.

Joseph then was seen running from the Gribbles' house. "Mom, Dad, what's going on?" he asked.

"Mr. Hill is about to beat up Mr. Dauterive, sug," Nancy said.

Finally, Hank managed to grab Bill, and he slapped him hard across the face. "Stay away from my wife!" he shouted. Bill tried to wiggle away, but then Hank pounded him in the back some more. "And that's for sleeping with Luanne and Bobby!"

Everyone gasped. "He slept with Luanne and Bobby, too? Oh, man that's rich!" yelled Dale.

"Quiet, sug," Nancy said.

Everyone began to gather closer in the garage as they watched Hank fiercely pounding the slop out of Bill. "Stay away from my wife!" Hank kept repeating as he slapped and punched Bill. Then, he gave Bill a great big kick in the butt. Bill groaned in pain. Hank walked off back to his house. Everyone crowded around Bill to help him up.

"Dang, Bill, why'd you sleep with dang ol' Peggy, man?" Boomhauer asked.

"And what's up with Luanne and Bobby, too? Are you a child molester, Bill?" asked Dale.

Finally, Bill had to admit it to everyone. "OK, I ADMIT IT!" he shouted.

"AHA!" snapped Dale. "I knew he was a child molester!"

"No, no, I'm not!" Bill yelled. "I LOVE PEGGY!" he shouted. Everyone gasped. "That's right, I do! Ever since that day when I went to the single's bar, I couldn't find anyone, so I just settled for Peggy. I took her out to the Starbucks in hopes of being a date," Bill said.

Hank overheard Bill and came rushing back. "Damn it, Bill, Peggy is my wife! What makes you think you have the right to go out with her and date her, especially without my permission!" barked Hank.

"I'm sorry, Hank. I've just been so lonely for the last seven years since Lenore left me," Bill cried.

"That's no excuse to get in bed with my wife!" shouted Hank.

"Actually, Hank," Peggy said from behind the crowd. Everyone turned around to see Peggy, who had gotten out of bed. "I feel sorry for Bill, and you have been no help to me in bed, so I am going to live with Bill at his house until you can shape up," Peggy said. She helped Bill up, and together, they entered his house. Nobody had ever seen Bill smiling so widely in years.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, Peggy!" yelled Bill. He shut the door and locked it and took Peggy inside. Hank felt his face turning bright red. He was not going to let Bill take away his wife. Unfortunately, everyone knew about the incident now, so it was too embarrassing to do anything now. Maybe someday Hank would get revenge on Bill, and perhaps Peggy would be with him again.

To be continued in a sequel…