AN: I'm back! This time with a sequel to my old fanfic, "Nothing Special." It takes place several years after Zim and Dib's little…episode in Zim's labs. From Dib's point of view.
Warnings: Sort of angsty, sort of slashy. Not really slashy, though, just undertones to be picked up. Mentions of a kiss.
"Really Nothing Special"
Nothing is the same.
Well, no, everything is the way it's always been--but there's a difference so huge that it seems to be all different. That doesn't make any sense, I know, but it's so hard to explain--to explain how things are and once were, how much Zim is still Zim, but also someone completely different.
I gotta stop thinking about this. It's been a few years; I don't even exactly remember when it happened. Zim probably does. A few years probably means nothing but a few months to him. I was kind of amazed with the fact that he found a way to make himself taller--hell, his disguise changed, too. Changed enough so I can't point out any obvious differences between his disguise and a normal human being.
Still, it doesn't stop me. I have to stop him; the mission is probably more important than emotions for an Irken, so I doubt the fact that I'm trying to stop him will make him quit for anything in he world. Stupid stubborn sadistic bastard...
But, it's interesting. He's still the same old Zim, but it's also obvious he has a...soft spot for me. I can get away with breaking into his labs--he always catches me, but he doesn't forcibly take anything from me, even if it's evidence. In a way he's reminding me of a parent...at times he protects me and tries to make sure that I'm doing alright.
Scratch that, he is a parent. It can be so annoying at times, but for the most part I almost feel...flattered. Then again, he's probably many years older than I am. I'm still a child. It doesn't bother me so much, except when he does a one-eighty in personality. One minute he's acting friendly and protective, the next he's threatening to kill me and to take over the world.
I really wish he would make up his mind. Sighing, I lifted my head from the desk and looked at the clock. Damnit...study hall's not over. I glanced down to the left corner of the room where Zim was sitting. He changed his hair; it was spiked and had red highlights. With one glance you couldn't tell he wasn't human, but if you paid attention to how his body was built, it looked like he was almost too skinny.
Still, only I would notice that Zim's waist was far too small...but then again, mine can't be much bigger. I looked away from him. He looked so harmless, like he was incapable of taking a life, let alone taking over an entire planet. But he was capable. His plans were becoming very complex, and they were ideas that made sense and were dangerous. About taking a life, well...he had almost taken mine.
I can still remember feeling his claws around my neck. He was far stronger than he looked, and that was the first time I was ever really afraid for my life. How he had reacted after I had passed out...I could never forget that.
After all, how does anyone forget something as..."special" as their first kiss?
I'm not shocked now that I look back on it. So what if he said nothing was to change between us? It wasn't true. Things had changed; things had changed a lot. Knowing that he loves me is one thing--I could always ignore that, but the fact that he kissed me is something I just...could never ignore. I didn't want to ignore the fact, actually; I had kissed him before I had left his base, that same day.
I never asked myself why. It was simply something that I shouldn't question. There was a reason--a small reason, but there was one. It was the reason I would question; it didn't matter to me that I had kissed an alien--a supposedly male alien, at that--what mattered was why. Though, I had stopped questioning the reason months after I had actually kissed him.
I had always believed that what he felt wasn't the real thing. Therefore, I believed that why I kissed him was to prove to myself that his feelings didn't really exist. At times it seems like I was right--but most of the time it seems as though I'm definitely wrong. The looks he would give me when we passed each other in the hallways or stairs were reason enough for me to believe I was wrong to assume that Zim couldn't love me.
He doesn't want to act like he does. In fact, he's been avoiding me like crazy, but I'm used to it. Just like how I'm used to those looks, the sighs that go with those looks.
All I want to do at times is ask, just simply as, if he was happy at all about his decisions. But I would be imposing, stepping over the needle-fine boundaries we set up to keep from becoming friends; he would probably snap at me to leave him alone. I was used to that, too, and I doubt he's happy at all. He may want to take over the Earth, but what would happen if he succeeded? What would he do? What would he do with me?'
I shook my head; I didn't need to be thinking about that. He would probably kill me first in order to be able to take over the world, anyway. I was his only obstacle, but I wanted to remain that way; I wanted to be in his way. I wanted to have his attention on me. Suddenly the bell rang, causing everyone to stand up like zombies. I stood up just as Zim passed, but he stopped, standing a little to my right.
"Zim...?" I raised an eyebrow, completing my quizzical look. He just smirked at me.
"Come over, today, Dib. I want to speak with you," Zim said softly, turning on his heel and walking towards the door. "C'mon, we have English next..."
I blinked, tossing my book bag over my shoulder, and followed him. "What's so important, Zim?" I asked, keeping up with him pretty easily. He did have shorter legs than I did, so his stride wasn't as long as mine.
"You don't remember what today is, do you?" he asked, glancing at me. This was the first time we've had a conversation in a week; I couldn't waist it.
"Should I remember?" I sighed as he glared at me, shaking my head. "I take that as a yes..."
"It's stupid of me to put so much meaning into this human date," Zim muttered. "Four years ago I landed on his disgusting planet; it was the first time we saw each other."
"And you want me to come over because of this why?" I asked, drawing out the "why," smirking at him.
Zim just rolled his eyes, "Because I want you to come over, human--do not deny Zim's only request of you," he ordered, lightly punching me on the arm.
"What do you plan to do, throw an amazing party because you wanted me to rejoice my meeting the AMAZING you?" I cracked, grinning. He just snorted and shook his head.
"Actually...that's why I want you to," he whispered. "I want you to come over as a friend instead of an enemy."
"Awww...so I can't come over with the intent to slice you open? Damn..."
"Is that all you ever think about, Stinkbeast?"
"No," I replied softly, placing an arm around his shoulders, leading him into the classroom. "I really don't. You need to learn when I'm joking around..." I added, removing my arm. All of that I had done without thinking, but Zim hadn't seemed to mind. I smiled at him. "Want me to skip coming over as your friend and go straight to lover?"
That caught his attention--he stopped walking and turned around, giving me a calculating stare. "You're joking, right?" he asked softly. The look in his eyes caused me to blink. Did he--did he look hurt?
"Of course I was, Zim," I responded, "if you wanted me to come over as your boyfriend, you would've said so." I whispered, glad that there was no one in the classroom except us.
"I figured you were," Zim stated, his all-knowing, all-superior act back in place.
"What? Did you think I was serious?"
"No, I didn't, human. I just thought you were making fun of me," he responded, sitting down at his desk.
I didn't know how to react to that, so I just sat down at my own desk, sitting beside him. I could feel the stare he was giving me. "I wouldn't say something that low, Zim. You know me better than that," I whispered just as Mrs. E walked through the door.
"Yeah, I know," Zim muttered. "So are you coming over?"
"I'll be there," I whispered in response, nodding slightly. He seemed to be satisfied with that. Slowly, the classroom filled up with students, and Zim and I continued our normal routine of ignoring each other. I couldn't help but to wonder why he really wanted me to come over. Just because it was the day we met wasn't enough reason; not for Zim.
This was going to be weird. My enemy was inviting me over, and I had accepted that fact. Normally I would feel the need to be cautious, but this time I didn't feel apprehension. It was like I just knew Zim wouldn't try anything, especially with the way he had just asked. He seemed as if he wanted to get along for once.
That made me wonder if he was going to try to get me to help him take over the Earth. It was possible he might want my help, but what would he do with me once my use was over? Kill me, or keep me for himself? I shuddered at the thought of him keeping me. I don't know if I would be comfortable in a situation like that. It would drive me insane if I couldn't make my own decisions.
I glanced over at Zim and noticed how he was writing something in Irken. Considering how much I would sneak into his lab I had learned some of it--basic words, really, and Zim's name. It looked like he was writing his name. I blinked when he glanced up at me.
"What is it, human?" he growled.
I just turned my head away, going back to looking at my paper. "Nothing, Zim," I muttered, sighing. I glanced over again, but Zim had covered up his paper. I couldn't tell what he was writing unless I moved, and Mrs. E was giving me dirty looks as it was. I'll just ask what he was doodling later. I could do that, I was going over his house later. Unprotected and open for any kind of attack. All I was going to do there was see what he had wanted me for.
The soft sigh that escaped him caused me to glace over again. He seemed really upset, now that I took the time to notice. Something had to be wrong.
I wonder why I care so much. I mean, so what, he's upset. He's been upset hundreds of times, what's so different this time? I convinced myself there was nothing different; this was just like all those other times. Besides, I could ask Zim if anything was wrong if I wanted to, later today.
He had changed, and not just physically. Now that I thought about it, he had been different towards me since he had told me what he thought were his true feelings. They still couldn't be his true feelings now, could they? I shook my head--now I'm probably just confusing things.
The rest of the day went by quickly enough. Though, the closer the end of the day came, the more upset Zim appeared to be. He started glaring at everyone that came by him. He snapped at teachers--something he hadn't done since the days of Mrs. Bitters's class, all those years ago. Four years...has it really been that long since the alien known as Zim arrived on Earth and turned my life upside down? I took a second and wondered what my life would be like if the alien had never landed here.
Instantly I remembered how lonely I was before the alien arrived on Earth. If Zim had never come, would I still be that lonely loser sitting by himself, with no friends? The thought was depressing. Sighing, I shook my head and erased my thoughts. Something that depressing wasn't worth thinking about. I mean, despite how things are now, I'm not alone. For the past four years, I've never really been alone. Ever since that day, all those years ago, Zim was there, watching my every move. Sometimes he exploited opportunities to get back at me, others he was there, making sure I was okay.
We really had one strange rivalry. Even now, I can tell that Zim's planning something; something dangerous to the well-being of the human race, and yet, I'm going to celebrate with him the day we met. How odd.
The last bell of the day rang, and the student body became more animated; students suddenly seemed less like zombies and more like humans. Unable to locate Zim, I made my way to his base, positive that he would be there before I got there. I was still concerned; this could be a trap that I was walking right into; Zim's been known to pull some dirty tricks. Again, I shook my head. Zim seemed to be sincere, this time.
On my way there, I caught up with him. He was looking down at the ground, and didn't look up when I approached him. He looked lost in thought, so I waited for him to notice me; to say something. He didn't say a word as we walked, side by side. Not a single word escaped my lips, either. I guess I was nervous to start conversation. After all, Zim was my enemy, and he always will be. Nothing was ever going to change that.
He stepped through his front door, holding it open so I could walk in behind him without tripping the defenses of his base. Finally, I found my long lost voice. "So, what did you want, Space-boy?"
"I just wanted to see you for a few hours, human, without us trying to kill each other," Zim responded.
"Why?" I asked. Zim just shrugged. "What's wrong, Zim?"
"It's not important, Dib," he said quickly.
"It must be. You've been acting weird, Zim--even for you!"
"I told you, human, it's not important. Let's play video games or something. I want to actually enjoy myself," he muttered, pressing a button some where hidden in the couch. A part of the floor moved out of the way for the game system that suddenly appeared before the TV. The TV also turned on, by itself.
I shouldn't have been impressed by this; I had seen more amazing things than that at my dad's lab, but I was. Zim just smirked at me, bouncing a controller off of my head before I had pulled myself together.
The afternoon was spent with us trying to kill each other in a video game. It was strangely refreshing. No matter how bad I was, Zim wasn't much better. Things were actually pretty even.
When I left, Zim's expression had changed. His eyes were filled with something I couldn't name. As I had made my way to the door, he made as if to stop me, but he let me leave without a word.
I wish, now, that he had stopped me. The next day, Zim didn't come to school. The same with the day after that. After about a week of absence, I went to Zim's base.
It wasn't there. I really must have been nothing special to him, like he had told me all those years ago. He must not have really felt anything for me--he had lied to me about his feelings.
A sharp pain in my chest warned me that I had become too attached to the alien. That my life would never be the same without him.
I punched the fence that remained, tears spilling from my eyes as I clutched at the pain in my chest. "You should have told me you were leaving," I hissed, punching the fence again with my other hand. Nothing--not a trace of his old base but this fence; no signs of his existence on this planet. Nothing but me and my memories of him.
I might have been nothing special to Zim, after all, but damnit, he had become special to me. My only friend on this planet, and he was gone without leaving me a single word of farewell. I should have told him how special he was, before he left.
Nothing will ever be the same without him.