The first thing he noticed as he began to come around was that the buzzing had stopped. He hadn't even realized it was there until it was gone. It was nice.
He was about to drift back off to sleep when the thought fully registered in his mind. No buzzing... no breaking... no fog... he could think and feel for the first time in forever... could he really be free?
No. No freedom. He choked back a cry of despair as a memory of that place entered his mind and turned his blood cold. He could still remember. God, why couldn't he just forget?
A sudden hand on his arm startled him into opening his eyes and edging away from whoever was there. Images of alien faces floated in front of him; memories of garbled voices, moaning, screaming, whirring machines, and sharp, cold objects that seemed to have no purpose other than causing pain...
"Easy, Daniel, it's alright."
Soft, female voice... long, dark hair... kind, brown eyes... white coat...
"Janet?"
She smiled. "That's right. How are you feeling?"
He licked his parched lips and cleared his throat as he took a quick inventory. His brain was moving slower than it probably should, but even that was a big improvement. His body was sore, but at least he no longer felt as though he were about to fall apart. But all in all, he felt... empty.
"Daniel?"
He blinked heavily and tried to formulate an answer to her question. "I... I'm..." He could feel that he was about to cry, but he took a deep breath and finished, "I'm better."
Janet's smile grew even wider and prettier than before. She took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. "Thank God," she said. "I think it worked. You're going to be okay." She sighed as she sat down on the edge of his bed and curled up beside him with her arms around his neck.
Daniel stiffened at this action. It felt nice in a way, and she was being careful not to hurt him, but the close contact was making him very uncomfortable. Within seconds, panic started to set in, and he had to quickly push her away.
Janet jerked back from him as though she'd been burned. "Did I hurt you?" she asked.
He didn't answer. He was too busy trying to convince himself there was nothing to be afraid of. This was Janet, not one of... them. He shuddered as another horrible memory passed through his mind.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Janet soothed as she stroked his hair. "It's just so good to have you back."
Daniel nodded and closed his eyes, the gentle motion of her hand serving to calm him down like nothing else could.
But then she took her hand away.
"I should send for Dr. Warner and Colonel O'Neill," she said as she slipped off the bed. "We weren't expecting you to wake up just yet, so they'll be very happy to..."
"No," Daniel said, reaching out for her hand. "Stay. Please... stay."
Janet looked surprised for a second, but then she smiled again. "Okay," she said. "I'll stay. They'll be back in a minute anyway." She sat back down beside him and squeezed his hand. "I certainly don't mind having some time alone with you first."
Daniel almost smiled at that, but the muscles in his face didn't seem to want to work. Instead, he lay there studying her face, trying to focus on his memories of her and block out all the rest. It wasn't easy. Memories of that place kept trickling into his mind like water through a crack in a dam. Still, each time he felt that one was going to take control of him, he'd give her hand a gentle squeeze and suddenly the memory didn't seem quite so real.
He felt something hard on her finger as he rubbed it with his thumb, and he looked down to see the gold band that she was wearing. The image of the moment he had given her that ring flashed before his eyes. "We're married," he said. The thought hadn't really occurred to him until then. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since they had been so happy together. He almost felt as though it had only been a dream.
"Yes, we are," Janet said. "Do you remember..."
"Where's mine?" he asked, purposefully ignoring her half-spoken question. He didn't want to think about what he remembered.
Janet looked confused for a moment, but then she looked down at his empty ring finger. "Oh... I think you left it at home," she said. "Would you like me to find it for you?"
"Not now," Daniel said hurriedly. The last thing he wanted was for her to leave him, for any reason.
"No, not now," she assured him. "Soon." She smiled again.
Daniel forced the corners of his mouth to turn up just a little in response. It was funny how he could feel so scared and broken, and yet so reassured at the same time.
"Listen, Daniel," Janet said gently a moment later, "I know you probably don't want to talk about it..."
Daniel cringed. He knew what she was about to ask. He couldn't do it. He had to lock it all away.
"It would really help us to help you if you could tell us where you were all this time. About what happened to you."
Daniel bit his lip and shook his head.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "Anything you can tell us would help. Anything at all."
"No." He raised his hands to cover his ears as he began to hear their voices again. "No! Can't. Can't talk!"
"Chak. Da. Minal kara."
"Please, just let me go. Please!"
"Daniel! It's okay, just relax. Calm down!"
He felt their hands again, grabbing him, forcing him down, causing him pain. He heard their voices echoing inside his head, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get them to stop.
"Daniel, it's just a flashback. You're alright. It isn't real."
Who was that? It sounded like Jack.
"Come back to us, buddy. You're okay."
Just as quickly as they had taken hold of him, the images disappeared. He was in the infirmary again, surrounded by friendly faces. Janet, Jack, Teal'c, Sam, Dr. Warner... he could even see General Hammond's bald head just past Jack's shoulder. No hostile aliens. No cold slab of metal under his back. No pain or cause for fear.
"S...sorry," he said.
"It's alright, Daniel," Janet said as she took to stroking his hair again. "It's all over now."
All over... if only that were true.
Jack rubbed his face wearily. At the time, he'd thought volunteering for the bedside night shift was a good idea, but now he was beginning to regret it. Daniel had been pretty uptight all day, so everyone figured he'd be tormented with nightmares all night. Jack had offered to give Fraiser a break for the night simply because he felt he should be there to talk Daniel through whatever his subconscious forced him to relive, but here it was 3am and Daniel hadn't uttered so much as a peep. In fact, he was out like a light.
Part of him was thankful that Daniel was spared the whole night terrors aspect of his post-traumatic stress disorder, at least for one night, but the rest of him was pissed that he'd given up a good night's sleep for nothing.
He sighed as he shifted his weight a little and found that his butt had fallen asleep. Perfect. Just perfect.
"Jack?"
Great. Now he'd woken the guy up. "Hey, Daniel," he said. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
Daniel just blinked sleepily at him.
"Try to go back to sleep, okay?" Jack said as he tried to find a position that didn't cut off his circulation quite as much.
"Not sleepy."
Jack studied Daniel closely for a second and forced his features to soften a little. "You sound sleepy."
Again, Daniel just blinked at him. That was starting to become unnerving.
"Daniel?"
"What?"
"Sleep."
Daniel swallowed and blinked a few more times before he spoke again. "Why, Jack?" he said.
"Why what? Why sleep?"
"Why did they hurt me?"
Oh God. All of Jack's internal organs sank down into his shoes at the pathetic tone in Daniel's voice. How the hell was he supposed to answer that? "I... I don't know," he said. "You haven't even told us who they are or what they did, so..." His voice trailed off as Daniel started to look distressed.
"You didn't stop them?"
Okay, now he was slightly confused. "Stop them?" he asked. "You escaped, remember? You showed up on the Alpha site..."
Daniel was shaking by this time, and he turned to grip his pillow with one hand and bury his face in the crook of his arm.
Damn, he just had to go and say the wrong thing. "Hey, it's okay," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and patting Daniel's arm reassuringly. "You got away. That's all that matters."
"No," Daniel said. His voice was muffled, but Jack was sure he was crying. "I forget."
Jack took a deep breath and moved his hand to awkwardly stroke Daniel's back. "I think that's pretty normal," he said. "Your mind is probably locking it all away until you can handle it."
"No!" Daniel cried. He suddenly flipped himself over onto his back and shoved Jack away.
Jack jumped to his feet and instinctively held his hands up in front of him. "Whoa, easy," he said as Daniel sat up and huddled against the headboard of the bed. He wasn't sure what he'd done to make Daniel react like that, but from the way he was hugging his knees to his chest and shooting Jack suspicious looks, he guessed that back-stroking had been a bad idea. Live and learn.
Daniel shook his head and rested his cheek against his legs. "I remember... I remember too much," he said with a shiver. "I forget... coming home."
Jack edged a little closer as Daniel spoke, until he was sure he wasn't going to get shoved away again. Then he lowered himself down onto the bed and said, "You remember who took you?"
Daniel shivered again and hugged his legs tighter. "It was them," he whispered.
"Them who? Someone I know?"
Daniel winced and shook his head.
Jack knew it was probably a bad idea to press the guy for more when he seemed traumatized enough already, but he had to know. "Can you describe them?"
It seemed that Daniel wasn't going to answer at first, but after a few more tremors ran through his frame, he took in a sharp breath and said, "Zombies."
Okay, that was definitely not the answer he was expecting to hear. Not that he was expecting any particular answer, but if he had been, that wouldn't have been it.
Still, Daniel had now curled up into the fetal position and was crying into his pillow, so Jack decided to leave further questioning for later. All Daniel needed right now was a sedative and a good night's sleep.