Clarity. It was the first time things had really seemed clear to his muddled mind for almost as long as he could remember. He soaked it in like a sponge.
Janet sighed and moved a little in his arms, tightening her hold around his waist. He couldn't believe how good it felt. For that one moment, he forgot everything that he'd been through. They were the only two people in the whole universe.
Until the whole universe seemed to explode.
Daniel gulped in a lungful of air and tried not to scream as he curled in on himself. He buried his face in his pillow and clapped his hands over his ears to muffle the overwhelming sound.
"Medical team to the gateroom."
The familiarity of those words was enough to break through to him. He took one hand away from his ear and peeked out from his pillow.
"...just an unscheduled off-world activation," Janet was saying. She looked almost as frantic as he felt, but her fear wasn't of the noise - it was for him.
"Janet?" He turned over onto his back and tried to calm his racing heart. "You... are you okay?" God, he hadn't even thought that she was lying right next to him when he'd freaked out and flipped over.
She ran a hand over her hair to smooth it back into place and smiled. "I'm fine," she said. "I jumped off the bed just in time."
He knew she was trying to make light of the situation, but he couldn't bring himself to smile. That sound... it sounded so much like...
Daniel shuddered as a memory of that place flashed through his mind. He gripped his blanket in his fists and gritted his teeth. He had to fight against it now. He was home. There was nothing here to be afraid of.
"Are you okay?" Janet asked as she sat down beside him and started stroking his hair.
He didn't know how to answer that. Was he okay? His moment of clarity had ended, and now he just wasn't sure. "I'm sorry," he said.
Janet shook her head. "It's normal to be jumpy after going through something like..." She paused, like she wasn't sure how to finish her sentence. Well, of course she wasn't sure how to finish it. She didn't know what he'd been through. "Just try to relax," she finished.
Relax. Yes, he should try that. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the motion of Janet's hand as it moved across the top of his head. Stroke... stroke... stroke...
A sudden commotion out in the hall startled him into almost freaking out again, but he forced himself to keep his eyes closed and his breathing even. He knew in his mind that it was just whoever had come through the gate being taken to another room of the infirmary for care, but his body seemed to think it was them again, and reacted accordingly. It was so frustrating that he just wanted to cry.
"I'm sorry for all the disturbances, Daniel," Janet said. "You know how the infirmary gets sometimes."
Somehow, this comment made him feel better. He did know what the infirmary was like. He knew because this was his home. These people were his family. If he had to remind himself of that ten times a minute until it finally sank in, he'd do it. He'd beat this thing. He'd come through it.
After all, he didn't really have a choice.
Janet was about ready to scream.
Daniel had just begun to show improvement when the damn off-world activation alert sounded again. And again. Five times in the last twenty-four hours. Every time it happened, Daniel would curl up in a ball and start shaking, and she just couldn't stand it anymore.
She rapped purposefully on General Hammond's open door but didn't wait for an answer before she spoke. "General Hammond, Sir, could I have a word with you?"
Hammond looked up from his paperwork with a slightly frustrated look on his face. "Kind of busy here, Doctor," he said with a sigh. "What's the problem?"
Janet stepped inside the office and got right down to business. "It's Daniel, Sir," she said. "The alarms that keep sounding in the infirmary are causing him great distress, so I..."
"I'm very sorry to hear that, Doctor, but I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. As I'm sure you're aware, one of our teams ran into some trouble off-world yesterday, and as a result I've had to put the base on alert."
"I realize that, Sir," Janet said. "And that's exactly why I feel it would be wise to take Daniel elsewhere."
General Hammond narrowed his eyes as he studied her for a long moment after making this statement. "Elsewhere as in the academy hospital?" he asked.
Janet took a deep breath. "No, Sir. Elsewhere as in home."
He shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't allow that, Doctor. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of where he's been and what's been done to him. Not to mention that he's suffering from PTSD and will require constant supervision."
"Forgive me, Sir, but I fail to see what kind of care he needs that I couldn't supply for him at home. He needs to be somewhere that makes him feel safe, somewhere where he can be surrounded by positive memories and people who love him."
"Are you saying this as a doctor, or as his wife?"
Janet opened her mouth to answer him, but wasn't quite sure what to say. She did feel as though taking Daniel home would help him to heal more quickly, but she also wanted to get him away from this place so that they could concentrate on getting their lives back in order.
"I do understand that this is a hard time for you," Hammond said, his voice gentle and sympathetic, "but we have to think about what's really best for Dr. Jackson."
"General, I fully believe that this would be the best thing for Daniel," she insisted. "Not to mention that it would be safer, with all the activity that's going on around here right now."
Hammond sighed and rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. After a moment or two of thought he said, "Alright... I will allow Dr. Jackson to be discharged under two conditions. That Dr. Warner agrees that this is a good idea, and that he and Dr. Mackenzie are kept apprised of Dr. Jackson's condition at all times."
Janet sighed in relief. "I'm sure that can be arranged, Sir," she said. "And I was planning to have Daniel see both Dr. Warner and Dr. Mackenzie regularly. Even more than once a day, if necessary."
She kicked herself for sounding so desperate when General Hammond shot her a longsuffering look. "Good," he said. "You're dismissed, Doctor."
"Thank you, Sir." Janet hurried from the room before he had a chance to change his mind.
She had barely gone five paces from his office, however, before the off-world activation alarm sounded yet again. She took off for the elevator as fast as her legs would carry her, and was back in the infirmary in well under a minute.
"Daniel?" she said breathlessly as she ran into his room. As she had predicted, he was curled up in a ball on his bed with his hands over his ears.
Colonel O'Neill was standing beside him, patting his back in a feeble attempt to reassure him. He looked over at Janet with a worried expression on his face when she came up behind him. "Did you talk to Hammond?" he asked.
Janet nodded. "He said it's okay as long as Dr. Warner agrees that it's in Daniel's best interest," she said.
"I don't think you'll have much of a problem there," Colonel O'Neill said.
Janet smiled. It was true - Warner was just as concerned about Daniel's almost constant state of panic as the rest of them.
"Is it over yet?" Daniel asked. His voice sounded strained, and his face was lined with exhaustion when he lifted it from his pillow to shoot Janet a piteous look.
Janet sat down on the edge of his bed and laid her hand on his arm. "We'll be taking you home soon, Daniel," she said softly. "Just hang in there, okay?"
"Okay," he said, and wearily lowered his head back onto his pillow.
"Would you like me to get you a sedative so you can get some sleep?" Janet asked. She hated to see him looking so exhausted after everything he'd been through already.
Daniel hesitated for a few seconds, and Janet could see that his eyes were filling with tears. He blinked heavily a few times, and then said, "Okay."
"Okay," Janet whispered as she bent to press a kiss to his temple. "I'll be back in a minute."
She exchanged knowing looks with Colonel O'Neill as she stood up and walked towards the door. They couldn't get him off the base fast enough.
"Dammit," Cassie mumbled. She slammed her textbook shut and cradled her head in her hands. "I am so gonna flunk this test."
She'd been sitting there at the kitchen table trying to study for the past few hours, which was rare for her on a Saturday, but she just couldn't concentrate. Hadn't been able to concentrate for the past three days, as a matter of fact. If only "step-father escaping from his alien kidnappers" was a suitable excuse for having a couple weeks off school.
"Do you require assistance?"
Cassie jumped a little as Teal'c suddenly seemed to materialize at her side. She wished she could sneak around like he could. "No, thanks, Teal'c," she said. "Not unless you know something about the history of the Roman empire."
Teal'c gave her a small, apologetic smile. "I do not."
Cassie sighed. "Didn't think so. What's ironic is, this is the kind of stuff Daniel would have helped me with."
Teal'c sat down across from her and folded his hands together. "When is your examination?" he asked.
"Monday," Cassie replied. "So basically, I'm screwed."
Teal'c tilted his head to the side. "Perhaps not," he said, reaching out for her textbook and pulling it towards himself. He flipped it open and started scanning the pages.
Cassie smiled. "Really, Teal'c, it's okay. You don't have to..."
"Perhaps if you teach another about the subject, you, too, will learn."
"Um..." Cassie thought about this for a moment, but couldn't really come up with an argument. "O...kay."
Teal'c bowed his head and pushed the book back towards her.
Cassie took it, but the picture of ancient Roman ruins on the open page in front of her reminded her of Daniel. It almost brought tears to her eyes. "Teal'c... can I ask you something?" she said.
"Of course."
"What... what do you think happened to him... out there?"
Teal'c's facial expression didn't change much, but Cassie knew him well enough to know that her question had troubled him. "I do not know," he said.
Cassie was sick and tired of hearing that. Somebody had to know, or at least have an idea. What weren't they telling her? "Did they, like... torture him and stuff?" she asked, the mere thought of it making her squirm in her seat.
Teal'c seemed to be about to shake his head, but then he sighed and said, "It is most likely."
The pain in his voice was enough to make Cassie want to puke. "Why?" she asked angrily. "Why would they do that to Daniel? What has he ever done to anybody? Did he even know the guys that took him?"
"We are unsure," Teal'c said. "However, I am certain the answers will come in time. In the meantime, it is my duty to ensure that you do not 'flunk your test.'"
Cassie couldn't help but smile at the way he said "flunk." It was always fun to teach Teal'c a new word and see what he did with it.
She was about to get down to the task of teaching Teal'c all she knew about the Roman empire when the phone rang. "Saved by the bell," she muttered as she jumped up to get it. "Hello?" she said into the receiver.
"Hey, sweetheart. It's Mom."
"Mom, hi," Cassie said. "How's Daniel?"
"Physically, he's doing a lot better," her mom said tentatively. "But there are some problems on the base right now that are really bothering him, so I've received permission to bring him home. We should be there sometime this afternoon."
Cassie could hardly believe her ears. "He's... he's coming home?"
"Yes, he is." She could plainly hear the relief in her mother's voice. "Is everything okay there? How's Teal'c treating you?"
"Everything's great," Cassie said. "Teal'c's helping me with my homework. Is there anything you need us to do before Daniel gets here?"
"No, I don't think so. Just make sure there's no clutter in the living room. I'll set him up on the couch when we get home so he can rest but still be with us."
"Okay." Cassie felt both excitement and anxiety building up inside her as she debated whether or not to ask the question that had been on her mind ever since she'd first been told about Daniel's condition. She decided to just take a deep breath and ask. Couldn't hurt anything, right? "Mom?"
"Yes?"
"Will... will I be able to hug him when he gets home? Or... you know... would that upset him or something?"
Her mother was silent for a few seconds, and for a moment Cassie wondered whether the line had been disconnected somehow. Then she heard her sniff. "I think he'd like that," she said. "He's feeling a little delicate still, but he's looking forward to seeing you again."
Cassie breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay," she said. "I guess I'll see you later, then."
"I'll try to phone again before we leave, so you'll know when to expect us."
"Okay. Bye, Mom."
"Bye, sweetie."
Cassie gently hung up the phone, and then pumped her fist in the air. "Yes!" she cried happily. "Teal'c, Daniel's coming home!" she said as she danced over to him and threw her arms around his neck. "Isn't that great?"
"Indeed."
Cassie laughed, not at what he'd said but at the amount of emotion he was able to pack into that one little word. "Maybe you won't have to help me study after all," she joked. "Though I guess it wouldn't hurt to start. It'll pass the time until he gets here, at least."
Teal'c smiled as she sat down again. "Where should we begin?"