Daniel awoke from a dreamless sleep to the sound of voices. As usual, it took him a few seconds to figure out where he was and whether he was allowed to move or make a sound. When he realized one of the voices was Janet's, he remembered. He was home.
He sighed and rubbed his face as he rolled over onto his back. Now that he'd regained his bearings, he could tell that it was Janet and Cassie having a semi-hushed conversation in the kitchen. He smiled as he heard Janet laughing softly over something Cassie had said. It felt nice knowing it was just the three of them now.
After a minute or two of lying there listening to the comforting sounds around him, he suddenly realized how hungry he was. That was something new - he hadn't actually felt hungry in a long time. It was enough to finally convince his body that it was time to get up.
It only took him a second to find his glasses, which were sitting on the coffee table beside the couch, and once he'd slipped them on, he dragged himself up onto his feet. His legs still felt a little weak, but he was sure that wouldn't last long now that he was home. He always felt better once he was home. Still, he kept one hand on the wall as he walked through to the kitchen, just in case. He wasn't used to walking on his own yet, as someone had always been hanging on his arm whenever he'd had to walk any short distance over the past few days. He'd almost forgotten how to do it alone.
"Daniel! What are you doing up? If you needed anything, you should have called."
"I'm fine," Daniel said. He wasn't sure whether to be amused or annoyed by his wife's mother-henning, but he was too tired to show either emotion anyway. He sank down into the chair across from Cassie and leaned forward against the table. "I'm just hungry."
"Well, why don't you go back to the couch, and I'll bring you something?" Janet said, getting to her feet and taking hold of his arm as if to drag him there herself.
Daniel jerked it away from her. "I'm here now," he said. "I may as well eat it here."
Janet seemed to disapprove, but her expression soon softened, and she touched the side of his face gently. "What would you like?" she asked.
"Um..." Daniel licked his lips as he thought of all the possibilities. It had been so long since he'd had real food that he'd almost forgotten what some things tasted like.
There was one thing he remembered clearly, though, and it seemed to be the only thing he really, truly wanted. "Peanut butter and jelly?" he said plaintively. He wasn't sure how Janet would react, but that was what he wanted. He had nothing against her cooking - in fact, her cooking had been one of the deciding factors when he was debating with himself whether or not to open himself up and risk proposing to her - so he hoped and prayed that she wouldn't take it that way.
He need not have worried. Janet grinned and bent down to kiss his forehead. "That's my Daniel," she said. "Coming right up."
Once Janet's back was turned, Cassie slipped over into the seat beside him and leaned towards him almost conspiratorially. "Can I... can I ask you something?" she said.
"Sure."
"Do you remember the last thing I said to you before you... you know... before."
Daniel swallowed hard. He hated it when he tried to remember things from those days. He shoved away the flashes of that place that sprang to his mind and focused on his last moments with Cassie. He'd given her a ride to school. Something she'd said had made him feel embarrassed and ashamed. He shuddered as it occurred to him that just that short time ago, he hadn't even known what embarrassment and shame were really like. He cleared his throat. "I... you... you said you'd heard me and your mom..." he said, careful to keep his voice low so Janet couldn't hear his words.
Cassie winced. "Yeah, that," she said. "I'm really sorry, Daniel. I was just yanking your chain. I've felt so bad about it ever since, because the last thing I said to you was a lie, and..."
"Don't worry about it," Daniel interrupted her babbling. "I... I'd forgotten... until just now."
Cassie smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Daniel," she said. "I really am glad you're home now." Then she rose to her feet and said, "I'm gonna take my homework upstairs, okay, Mom?"
"Okay, Sweetie," Janet said. "I'll call you when dinner's ready." She brought Daniel's sandwich over to the table as Cassie bounced out of the room. "There you are," she said. "One PB&J, as requested."
"Thank you," Daniel said. He tried to force a smile for her, but for some reason, his conversation with Cassie had left him feeling slightly shaken. He really had to get past this. He hated that such a simple conversation had taken him right back to that place yet again. He was home, for God's sake. Safe and sound. Would he never be free?
"Are you alright?" Janet asked.
"Fine," he said. He quickly took a bite of the sandwich so he wouldn't have to say any more, but to his disappointment, he found that he'd lost his appetite.
Janet was exhausted by the time she plodded up the stairs to bed. It had been a long day, though not an unpleasant one. She was just in desperate need of a good night's sleep.
She quietly opened the door and tiptoed into the bedroom without making a sound. The last thing she wanted to do was disturb Daniel. The whole point of having him home was so he could rest without interruption. She took a moment to check on him, and when she was satisfied that he was sleeping comfortably, she tiptoed over to the adjoining bathroom to do her nightly ablutions.
It didn't occur to her until she saw how pale she looked in the mirror that she was nervous about tonight. She'd been around people with post-traumatic stress disorder before, and she knew how terrifying it could be for them once the lights went out. So far, though, Daniel hadn't seemed to have any nightmares, and Dr. Warner had commented on how well he was adjusting to being at home again when he'd come to see him that evening.
And he really was. Aside from the fact that he'd had very little appetite, Daniel had seemed tired but content throughout the day. He seemed to be trying to get back into their usual routine, and had even sat with Cassie for a while, trying to help her with her homework. When Warner had stopped by, Daniel had sat patiently through the routine tests he wanted to run, even though Janet could see he was still uncomfortable being poked and prodded. Warner had left some sedatives for him just in case, but they hadn't been needed. Daniel had complained of a slight headache at around 8pm, and had gone to bed with no problems at all.
Janet was thankful that Daniel was doing so well, but part of her knew it probably wouldn't last forever. It all had to sink in for him sometime. Still, that didn't mean they couldn't enjoy this reprieve while it lasted.
Once she was finished in the bathroom, Janet was careful to turn the light out before opening the door and tiptoeing over to the bed again. Daniel was still asleep, curled up on his side facing her side of the bed. Janet tried not to jostle him too much while she slipped under the covers, and to her relief he didn't stir.
She turned on her side facing him as she settled into a comfortable position, and once again she was overwhelmed at the thought that he was actually there. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to share a bed with him. Since they hadn't wanted to wait very long for their wedding once they'd decided to take the plunge, they hadn't even bothered to move in together beforehand. Therefore, they'd been apart longer than they'd been together.
After a minute or two of watching him sleep, Janet's eyelids started to droop. She was so tired that she'd expected to fall asleep right away, but suddenly her body jerked awake again. She sighed and tried to get into a more comfortable position without actually moving, but a strange sound soon caught her attention.
Daniel was wheezing.
Janet propped herself up on one elbow to get a better look at his face, but she couldn't see much in the dim moonlight. She hated to wake him, but the sound was getting louder with every breath he took. It wasn't just ordinary snoring, that was for sure. He seemed to be straining for every breath.
"Daniel?" she whispered. When he didn't move, she touched him gently on the shoulder and repeated, "Daniel?"
No reaction.
She reminded herself that she had to keep her cool. He was probably just in a deep sleep, after all. Dr. Warner had given him a clean bill of health just a few hours earlier, so he couldn't be deathly ill already.
Still, she wanted him to wake up, and she wanted him to wake up now.
She tapped his cheek and said louder, "Daniel?"
Daniel jerked, opened his eyes wide, and gulped in a lungful of air.
"Daniel, it's okay!" Janet said as he started backing away from her. "It's just Janet."
He rolled over onto his back and panted hard as he tried to get himself back under control. "Wha... what the hell did you do that for?" he said between breaths.
"You were having trouble breathing," Janet said. "I couldn't wake you up..."
"I was asleep!" he snapped.
Janet's jaw dropped in surprise. He'd never snapped at her like that before. "I'm sorry," she said as she took to stroking his arm. She could have kicked herself for waking him up from such a deep sleep in the way that she had, but she couldn't have just watched him struggle for breath without doing something. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"You scared the crap out of me," he said more quietly, rubbing his face with his hands. His breathing started to even after a few seconds, and there were no longer any signs of distress or wheezing. The anger and irritation had also disappeared when he turned his face to look at her. "Hi," he said.
Janet smiled in relief. "Hi," she returned. "I'm really sorry..."
"Don't worry about it." He turned onto his side again to face her and sighed. "I love this bed," he said. "I've always slept well here."
Janet smiled again and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "It's good to have you back in it," she said as she lay down again.
Daniel returned her smile sleepily and reached out a hand to cover one of hers. "Goodnight," he said, the word slurred as his eyes fluttered closed.
Janet lay watching him for a few more minutes to be sure he wasn't still having trouble breathing, but after a while she started to wonder whether she'd just imagined it. She made a mental note to mention it the next time she saw Dr. Warner, and finally let herself drift off to sleep.