"He's what?"
"He's just coming to talk to you, Daniel. There are things we need to know about what happened to you, and I think Dr. Mackenzie could really help..."
Daniel clenched his jaw and his fists. "I told you, I don't remember much about what happened. I don't want to remember what happened."
Janet came to stand behind his chair and laid her hands on his shoulders. "I know," she said. "But you know how this works, sweetheart. When we're dealing with unknown beings like the ones that took you, it's important that we know everything we can about them in case we come across them again."
Daniel shuddered at the thought of ever encountering those aliens again. He pushed his breakfast plate away, no longer feeling even the slightest bit hungry. "So what I want doesn't mean anything, is that what you're saying?"
Janet sighed and pulled a chair over to sit close beside him. Then she leaned forward and put her hand on his leg. "Daniel," she said. "If Dr. Mackenzie asks you a question that you don't feel comfortable answering, all you have to do is tell him so. He just wants to help you. That's all any of us want."
Daniel stared straight ahead, picking up his fork and fiddling with the food on his plate. He knew deep down that Janet was right, but even the thought of having to talk about what happened to him made him want to run right out the door as fast as his legs could carry him.
Too bad he would never be able to run fast enough to get away from himself.
Janet reached her hand up to stroke his hair. "You'll be okay," she said quietly. "I'll stay with you if you like."
"No," Daniel said without looking at her. "I don't want you to."
"Okay. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable."
Daniel didn't respond to that. He'd feel more comfortable if he didn't have to see Mackenzie.
Cassie bounced into the room then anyway, saving Daniel from having to continue this conversation. "I'm going over to Dominic's, okay?" she said to Janet. "I'll be back by lunchtime."
"Are you sure you have time for that?" Janet asked in her mother-knows-best tone. "You have that test tomorrow."
"Yeah, but Daniel helped me study last night," Cassie reasoned. "I figure he bought me at least enough time to watch one movie. Please?"
Janet sighed. "Alright. Lunchtime, no later."
Cassie grinned and kissed her mother on the cheek. "On the dot," she said in a sing-song voice. "Bye, Daniel."
Daniel raised his hand in a feeble wave, but she was already gone.
Before she reached the door, however, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" she yelled.
Daniel winced, more from knowing who was there than from Cassie's loud voice. "Janet..."
Janet stood up and gave his shoulders a quick squeeze. "I know you can do this, Daniel," she said. She bent down to kiss the top of his head, and then walked out of the room to greet Dr. Mackenzie at the door.
Daniel was very tempted to bolt out the back door while no one was looking, but for some reason his legs wouldn't move. All he could do then was brace himself for the inevitable.
"How are you doing today, Daniel?"
It was always bad news when Mackenzie dropped his salutation. "I'm just fine, Eric," he said. "How are you?"
Janet shot him a disapproving look, but Mackenzie just smiled. "I'm doing pretty well, thanks," he said. "Shall we move somewhere a little more comfortable, or do you want to stay here in the kitchen?"
Daniel tested his legs, and sure enough the traitors were working just fine now. "Living room's good," he mumbled as he got to his feet. If he had to go through this agony, he may as well be sitting on a nice, soft couch. That's why they put them in psychiatrists' offices, after all.
The three of them walked through to the living room, and Janet helped to settle Daniel onto the couch before she excused herself and disappeared back into the kitchen. Daniel had a feeling she'd be hovering close by in case he started to break down or something. Somehow he didn't find that comforting.
"Before we get started, Daniel," Mackenzie said as he sat down in a chair across from him, "I just want you to know that I am not here to determine your level of sanity, as many would believe."
"Exchange the word 'many' for 'Jack,'" Daniel thought.
"I'm simply going to ask you a few questions - things that might be uncomfortable for you to talk about, but that are important for us to know so that we can better understand what you went through, and therefore better understand how to help you."
Daniel squirmed in his seat. He wasn't going to enjoy this. Not one little bit.
"Just remember, Daniel, there are no right or wrong answers here, and if you feel you can't answer any of the questions I ask, feel free to tell me where to shove it."
Daniel blinked at Mackenzie in surprise, and had to return the smile that was aimed his way. "I might take you up on that," he said.
Mackenzie chuckled. "Alright," he said, looking down at the clipboard in his hands, "let's begin at the beginning, shall we? What's the last thing you remember before leaving Earth on the day of your disappearance?"
Daniel swallowed hard in an attempt at keeping his breakfast down where it belonged. He cleared his throat and started twisting his wedding band around and around as he thought about what he should say. "I... I remember taking Cassie to school," he said. "Then I went to the base... I was late for the briefing... I... I talked to Janet in the infirmary... and then we left."
"Okay." Mackenzie jotted something down. "Then what happened?"
Daniel took a deep breath. "Then... I spent some time looking at the artifact on P... um... on the other world..."
"So, what... you're not going to ask for more time to poke around at this thing?"
Daniel shook his head. "No, everything I need is in the writings on each side," he said. "I can work on the translations back at the base." He sent a sly look in Jack's direction and added, "Besides, what's the point? I know you'd just say no anyway."
"You never know," Jack argued. "I might surprise you."
Daniel leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and began massaging his temples. His breathing was becoming erratic, and he didn't want to lose control as he had every other time he'd thought about his ordeal. Not yet.
"You were taking rubbings from the artifact," Mackenzie said, his voice soft and comforting.
"Yes," Daniel rasped. "God, it seems like so long ago..."
"I'm done."
"You want to get back to her that badly, don't you?" Jack said knowingly.
Daniel tried to hide his grin, but failed miserably. "Maybe," he said as he closed his pack and stretched the kinks out of his back. "Or maybe I really do just want to get to work on these translations."
"I was looking forward to coming home," Daniel said. His eyes threatened to fill with tears, but he tried to turn his emotions off so they wouldn't flow. This tale would be so much easier to tell if he could just feel numb, and let the words fall out of his mouth without them actually meaning anything to him.
"Dial us home, Teal'c."
Daniel looked down at the artifact one last time as Sam followed Jack over to the gate. He was just in time to see a light as small as Janet's penlight flash, and suddenly everything was dark.
"You say a light flashed?" Mackenzie broke into his thoughts.
Daniel nodded.
"It was coming from the device?"
"Yes."
Mackenzie flipped through the pages on his clipboard. "The scientists studying the device found no lights, Daniel," he said.
"It was there," Daniel said blankly. "Only for a split second, but it was there. I don't know whether it's a homing device or a teleportation device, but there's more to that artifact than we could see."
Mackenzie gazed at him for a moment, and then nodded. "Alright. I'll be sure to let Major Carter know about this... light," he said. "Please continue. There was darkness?"
Daniel squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered what happened next.
"Hello? Is anyone there? Jack? Sam? Teal'c?"
Daniel held his hands out in front of him and turned around in an awkward circle as he tried to get his bearings. Where the hell was he? Were the rest of SG-1 here somewhere? What was that humming sound? If he didn't know better, he could swear it was the sound of an engine.
Oh God...
"It was a spaceship?"
Daniel nodded as he rocked back and forth, his head in his hands. "It was moving," he said. "I could feel it moving, but I couldn't see anything. I left my flashlight in my pack. I couldn't see..."
A wall. He finally felt a wall, and moved towards it in relief. It was the most nauseating feeling being stranded in the middle of a great black expanse, not knowing how big or how small your surroundings were.
He kept his hands on the wall as he slowly walked along to his left, feeling around for a light switch or a window or... hell, anything. Anything but blackness and a cold, smooth wall that he couldn't see.
Then his shoulder bumped into another wall. Good, now he was getting somewhere. He moved his hands over to the new wall, and immediately felt that this wall was different. This wall was covered in shapes. Squares. Buttons.
He started to randomly press them, hoping none of them would open an airlock or something equally as deadly. One of them had to turn on the lights.
Or open the door.
He jumped and stepped back as part of the wall suddenly moved, and light poured into the dark room. When he realized that it wasn't an airlock but an exit, he breathed a sigh of relief and went towards it.
And that's when he saw it for the first time.
Daniel jumped to his feet. "Please, I don't want to say anymore," he said, wringing his hands anxiously. He could feel the sweat pouring down his face, probably accompanied by tears, and he could barely catch his breath.
"It's alright, Daniel," Mackenzie said calmly. "You're safe, you're home. There's no one here to hurt you."
"I don't care," Daniel snapped. "I... I'm not ready. I can't... I can't do this."
"Daniel..."
He didn't listen. He couldn't listen to another word. He wanted to forget. God, he'd die if he couldn't just forget.
Without another word, he ran from the room and up the stairs. He didn't hesitate when he heard Mackenzie call his name. He didn't turn around when he heard Janet coming up the stairs behind him. He needed to get away. He needed to hide.
He ran into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.