A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love you. Sorry that I posted the last chapter like three times, I found errors after I posted and it bothered me. Anyway…special thanks to Daybreak, that Lorne/Spike cahoots thing is a good idea; I'm just not quick enough for that kind of scheme. I'm glad you're enjoying the "Old school" Spike, it's is how I like to think of him.
The song chosen 'The trick is to keep breathing' by Garbage (which I obviously do not own) was a little selfish because that's one of my favorite bands but also I think that some of the lyrics fit well.
Ok on with the show.
The city was blanked in darkness. We were walking down the street engulfed in silence, side-by-side.
I couldn't see very far in front of me, but I didn't let it show. It was cooler than usual for a LA night. I had goose bumps; a shiver ran through me. He sensed it, I could tell because he looked at me. He hadn't done that for a few blocks now.
Suddenly there was shelter from the breeze, leather. He had put his coat around my shoulders in one swift movement. I stopped and looked at him, he turned and faced me. Retracing a few steps he was back at my side. His pale skin almost seemed to glow and his blue eyes shined from the glimmer of the moon.
"Thanks" my whisper was swept up in the breeze but I knew he heard.
"No problem Luv" he nodded as he stared at me.
I put the coat on and continued to walk. He followed beside me. We were both going to try and trick each other tonight. I knew about his plan, he didn't know about mine, but somehow I think he could sense something.
He was taking me to a bar to 'blow off steam', conveniently a karaoke bar. He wasn't worried about me being underage or getting carded. Shyness wouldn't be a problem because if I were a few drinks would solve that.
He found me in a cemetery after I had finished off a few vamps. He made his offer and I took it. I don't think he was surprised, I had been acting so strange around him, he was probably expecting anything.
I was going to ask if we were coming up on the place, but I didn't want to sound too eager, instead I did up the coat. He was now wrapped around me, soft leather and cigarettes. I put my hands in the pockets. I found a pack of cigarettes. I pulled them out. I couldn't read the label so I brought it up closer to my face. They were mine. I wasn't going to question how he got them but took one out. In the other pocket there was a lighter. I lit and took in a drag.
By the time we reached the noisy club my cigarette was done. We hadn't spoken. It wasn't to make a point or to play a game; there would be plenty of that later on. We just walked, it was oddly soothing or maybe that was because I was wearing his jacket. I took the coat off.
We entered the dimly lit bar. There was a middle-aged construction worker belting out 'I will survive'.
The tables were set up around the stage that was at the back; a few prompters on the edge, a chair, mike stand and the graying haired man. The place wasn't very packed but the group of construction workers was making enough noise to fill the place. There were a few couples perched on bar stools along the counter at the side of the bar watching with amused faces. The cigarette smoke made the yellow light smoggy and made the place look warmer. The wooden walls seemed to bend out as if to make room for all of the noise, warm light and the shadows that were surrounding it.
I handed Spike his coat and went to the bar. I ordered a tequila shot and followed it with two more before he came up behind me. It burned.
We found a table at the back more in the shadows. He had bourbon. I had another shot. My muscled began to relax. He was still tense but tried to look calm.
"Come here often?" I asked my mouth warm from the alcohol.
"You could say that" he said it jokingly though he didn't smile and took a sip of bourbon.
I put my upper arm flat on the table then bent the elbow and propped up my head with my hand. I was tingling but not close to drunk. I saw Spike's eyes follow the curve of my body from the chair to along the table and stop on my face. I blinked slowly, my eyelashes heavy.
"Do you want to hear me sing?" I whispered. It was more of a statement then question; I already knew the answer.
"Of course Pet, anything would be better then this Git" again he didn't smile and took another gulp of bourbon.
Not leaving his gaze I called to the waiter for another shot.
I studied his strong cheekbones, his soft lips and rested on his eyes; pale blue. "Get me the songbooks," I requested quietly. If I was going to sing for him he was going to have to do something for me.
I downed the shot as soon as the glass hit the table.
He didn't seem pleased that I was following his wishes. I was playing his game and by the rules so far. His walk to the songbooks was somber. Or maybe he wasn't warmed up yet. I knew that I wasn't, but then again it wasn't my turn.
He came back and dropped them on the table. I sat up and began to leaf through them. I felt his stare cool the warmth from the tequila. It didn't take me long to find my song. It used to be one of my favorites.
He went to tell the women in charge. He came back and reported "You're up after 'Boogie Fever' hopefully we can make it until then" he sneered nodding his head to the next performer. Sitting down he chugged the glass and ordered another.
"Are you trying to impress me Spike?" I questioned a grin tugging at the side of my mouth.
"No, just trying to get through the rest of these songs" he replied giving a distasteful look at the women screeching 'Memory'.
I could've asked why did he want to come here if he hated the singing but that would ruin both of our plans.
"Say you chose something bearable" he heavily put his glass back on the table and returned his eyes to me.
"You've never heard Garbage?" I wasn't really surprised. He didn't answer; I took it as a 'no'. "Well I'll make you enjoy it"
"I'm sure you will Nibblet," he said with a real grin.
We sat not taking, him drinking, me blinking slowly; never taking our eyes away from each other until I was called.
"Dawn Summers singing 'The trick is to keep breathing' by Garbage" the women croaked into the mike. There was faint applause as I walked up to the stage.
The music began and the slow rhythm went out into the crowd. I locked eyes with him. To make sure he knew that I wouldn't see Lorne come at the end in the back and because I couldn't look anywhere else. I took a breath and began.
"She's not the kind of girl
Who likes to tell the world
About the way she feels about herself"
The lights were dim; they used a blue filter. I could see him sitting at the table in the back.
"She takes a little time
In making up her mind
She doesn't want to fight against the tide"
I sang softly but loud enough, never breaking our stare.
"Weakling I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around"
His arms folded on the table he leaned against them. His face was intensely expressionless.
"Can't bear to face the truth
So sick you cannot move
And when it hurts he takes it out on you"
I swayed my body with the beat, both hands on the mike in its stand.
"Weakling I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
Always the one who has to drag her down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick is keep breathing
The trick is keep breathing"
Though he was far away it felt as if he were near, maybe it was the shots.
"She knows the human heart
And how to read the stars
Now everything is about to fall apart"
The music was like a pulse and his eyes under his brow electric.
"I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick to keep breathingI won't be the one who's going to let you down
The trick is to keep breathingMaybe you'll get what you want this time around
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing
The trick is to keep breathing"
As the music faded away there was a burst of applause. I barely heard it.
He didn't clap. He just watched.
I hopped off the stage and went back to the table. It was then he quickly scanned the crowd. He paused gave a nod and then focused on me. I saw an 'unknown' man leave the bar, Lorne must have followed our plan.
I had reached my seat and slid into it. "You're turn"
"Not bloody likely" he scoffed giving a slightly horrified glance at the stage.
I leaned closer to him "This let's get out of here" I murmured. Grabbing his jacket I got up.
I knew he was following me out of the bar as I pulled on his coat. Back in the night I began to sober slightly.
Again side-by-side we went back the way we came.
"How was I?" I smiled at him, the intensity of before ever looming.
"Bloody brilliant"
My smile widened. People have told me I could sing before, but he never has.
The silence settled back between us.
I saw a store at the end of the block and pulled him in. He gave me a questioning look but I just went and grabbed a six-pack, shoved it at him and pointed him to the cashier.
We exited the store with two bottles open.
"What's this for Bit?"
"The party can't be over this early," I answered taking a swig of my beer. I wanted to keep my buzz.
"You shouldn't mix hard liquor with beer," he stated chugging his own.
"Don't worry about me, it takes quite a bit to get me drunk," I said seriously. I was going to try to get to that point. I couldn't help think that the night would have been nice if we didn't have our agendas behind it.
We staggered back towards Wolfram & Heart stopping in a park to finish off the pack.
He plopped onto a bench and I slumped next to him. The beer at his left side and me on his right I leaned against him.
I couldn't stop myself from asking, my brain was moving slowly like molasses, "Are you having fun tonight?" I whispered, growing too tired to speak normally.
He wrapped his arm around me bringing me more snuggly against him. "You know what Luv, I am" he sighed a sad look coming to his eyes. "You?"
"Yeah" I breathed tucking my legs up on the bench and taking another sip.
"Good" the sad look didn't leave him. I wanted it to go away. So what if we were trying to deceive each other? We were having a good time. My thoughts were fuzzy. If it weren't for that…it would be great. Almost like old times, with more booze. The past began soaking into my mind.
"Why did you stop liking me Spike?" I asked with a pout looking up at him.
"I didn't" his words were slightly slurred; he had three to my one.
"But you stopped spending time with me" I pointed out taking another swig of the warming drink.
"So did you" he added gazing down at me through glazed eyes.
"Buffy came back and it all went bad…not bad because she was back. That was good, once she actually came back when Willow almost destroyed the world" my thoughts were beginning to jumbled, I frowned "I guess we were just busy. I was trying to get her attention and growing up and shit and you were…" I searched for the right words "fucking her over in more ways then one"
He chuckled.
"You're in love with her," I said rearranging myself so I was kneeling with my arm on the back of the bench and the other holding the beer up to my mouth. His arm wasn't around me anymore and I was looking down at him.
He peered up at me. "I was obsessed with her" he clarified.
I paused, the alcohol made processing slow, "Was?" I echoed.
"I can proudly say that I am free" he said with a grin and sip of beer.
"Obsessed, not in love?" I frowned setting back on my feet.
His grin was gone now. "Robots, attempted rape that isn't love that's pure obsession" his words were garbled as he pointed at me, lifting a finger off his bottle.
"But you got your soul for her" I muttered finishing off my beer.
"Yeah" he pushed it aside and continued clearing his throat, his words became more clear "You can only supposedly love someone for so long when they don't love you back, hell even like you back" he popped another bottle and handed it to me. I took it.
"OK" I nodded; it made my brain slosh "so you're done with her"
"Yep"
I smiled brightly as I could drunk "Good 'cause you were so sad and scary and not good. I'm glad you're back or free or…whatever"
He beamed back at me "Me too Bit"
I went back to my previous position and he draped his arm around me again.