Chapter 17: No Turning Back

"We must avoid a scandal..."

"But my Lady, time is running out... Legolas and Lailomé already have a feeling of wrongness..."

"There is no need for haste Mithrandir, for every thing has a reason, and the delaying of the truth is for a reason..."

"I'm afraid I do not understand..."

"The Princess' friend Nathaniel will be there in the wedding with the message I sent..."

"Aren't you coming...?"

"Nay I do naught... for I only attend real ones."

"I see."

"But my Lady... there is something I want to ask to ease my troubles..."

"I know what you want to ask Mithrandir, and this is my reply, they are destined to be together, but destiny also makes mistakes, but destiny did not made a mistake about them, and their fate has to be sealed by a false sacrifice. Does that ease your troubled mind? And for the moment, do not tell the Prince about what you know..."

"That did ease me in someway, yes, not a word..." muttered Gandalf as he and Lady Galadriel are talking to their minds that afternoon of the same day he summoned Legolas in the Gardens of the Last Homely House.

Days later...

"This is the ninth day already." She whispered under her breath.

Lailomé thought Legolas did not heard her but she was wrong. "Yes it is. The more than the half of it." muttered Legolas as he climbed to the branch of a fir tree to which she was sitting and sat beside her, letting her head rest on his shoulder. It was their time together since Lailomé just came back from Elrond's halls for both the older elves are so inclined to learn her opinions about the wedding preparations in which Lailomé did not really give a damn at all. As she relaxed on his shoulder, along with it came a flow of her thoughts that morning, Legolas saw all of this, for he and Lailomé have this special connection of feelings and even thoughts, even visions of how the other fared during the day whenever they wished to share it with the other. Legolas saw that Lailomé had taken it to be a habit to say white lies just to escape those that had something to do with the cause of her would-be death. Legolas smiled as he saw, through Lailome's thoughts how she prevaricated Elrond and Isendor just to meet him on their private harbor.

.............. "So child, what do you think we should do for the menu?" Elrond asked Lailomé.

"I don't know Uncle..." Lailomé faltered as she put a hand on her forehead and tried to look pale. Ever since her demise-term began. Lailomé became weaker and strangely (for an elf) prone to sickness. "Are you alright child?" Asked the worried Elrond. "Lailomé, Lord Elrond here wants to ask your opinion-" Isendor muttered but Lailomé cut him. "You are the one so inclined with the wedding why don't you prepare everything yourself?" Isendor was now angry at how Lailomé answered him but did not bother to say anything, Elrond, sensing this said: "Isendor, since your fiancée is sick, why don't you take her back to her room to have some rest?" Isendor then stood up and accompanied Lailomé to her room, as he tucked her up on her bed, "You should get yourself well before our wedding." He said, kindly. "Thanks." Lailomé muttered as she acted to be so sick and pretended to fall asleep. She waited for quite sometime when she jumped off her bed and climbed out her balcony window to meet Legolas on their refuge...

Legolas smiled inwardly. He knew that Lailomé did change in someway and remained the same in some way he could not fathom. He is Lailomé and yet she is not. Maybe she is because of her ways, everything she does to him and that she reminds him... or making him feel like there was not a part of him missing. Different because she is not the same person who used to do this to him, she is not his sister and that now she is just a stranger, a very known stranger in his life.

As Legolas yield to his deep thoughts, he felt her snuggle closer to him; he could feel her warm breath on his neck.

Lailomé broke the silence, and Legolas could reckon that she had whispered 'Leggy...' dreamily in her shallow slumber. He shifted her shoulder so that her neck would not ache but she then refused to go back to her slumber.

"Lei, you need your rest, you know... you have a headache and..." Legolas muttered worriedly.

Lailomé looked up at him and removed her head from his shoulder, frowning, she teased: "Don't tell me you believe that little show I've put up? Did you?" But Lailomé did not get the reaction that she wanted from him. Half their lifetime separation still did not failed her desire of getting Legolas under her, like she used to run him around when they were kids but now it's different, and she can feel it. She knows she wanted him... she loved him, and that she wanted him to be under her only to end up with her under him. She wanted him to control her, but Legolas is not that kind of person, and that what makes her love him all the more.

"Dar' an 'nin." Legolas said, silently. Not tearing his eyes away from the view of the horizon ahead. Anticipating the pain that might come from her reply.

Lailome's heart was gripped. She doesn't know. Not yet, not now. Lailome's now is lost in her own thoughts. There have been images in her mind, although they were gray and blurry and she now does not know how to interpret them, it only made her even more confused. It has been quite awhile now and her contemplation was interrupted when Legolas said the same thing again, not in a manner of haste as Lailomé can put it.

"I don't know." Was all she can say that moment, for it was the truth. Legolas felt her pain, but he want some answers, after this, what would happen? She would fade, and they would only waste all those that they have shared, their feelings which have been hidden from them since their parting a long time ago, and then they found it in each other, they have loved each other ever since, he wanted to be with her, he wanted her to be his, and all he can do was to let her leave, let her marry somebody she does not love, and let her fade away, breaking their oath.

And him, selfish as though it might seem? What would happen to him? After this, he would leave, he would spend all eternity thinking about her, his thoughts of their new found love that only ignited on the day of their reunion after a long parting. He is in love with her and yet he does not control her, he wanted to, and he knows that she wants him to, but he knows he can't, not because he can't but because he cannot. He knows her duty is as much as he is, and he knows it is not that easy. There is their chance laid in front of them held in a silver platter but yet there is something pulling them from taking hold of it.

"Lû..." He stopped... "Cell ed." Fighting back his tears.

"Amin 'car al' 'sint." She said softly, with that, she started to climb down the branch they were sitting but he caught her hand.

"Amin mela lle." Words directly came from his heart, words that silently hurt both of them.

"Amin sinta, an 'ha 'nedh lle heneb." She replied, forcing a smile. With that she turned away.

Legolas watched her leave, noticing the traces that she had left behind until his eyes caught the sight of a paper tucked under his leg. It was of yellow parchment, and it smelled of roses, Lailome... he thought, and he was right. It says:

My Dearest Legolas,

It is hard to say... to even think of, that our time together is running out. I know all the things we do is kind of pathetic, but I don't care, and I know that you don't too... for we share the same feelings. Legolas, my love, I want you to know that I love you, whatever fate brings us, to whom I might belong, although I know that I belong to you but life would not let us, wherever I might be, you are the only one that I love, nobody else. Oh Gods I am at loss for words. I wanted to stay with you and only God and the spirits of the forest know how much. I wanted to be with you, to be yours as what I promised to myself but certain forces would let me. I am a prisoner of my own life, how much I wanted to be free; I myself can't let it be. I watched you, as you look at the horizon, me in your arms, during those times, I felt secured, I am home in your arms my dear, and being away with you is like having no home at all. The pillows on my bed know how much tears came through my eyes every night, when I think of you, when I think of us. So many times I wanted to say yes, to run away with you, to a place where we can leave ourselves behind, where we can be together, but I can't. I'm weak Legolas. I wanted so much to be strong, I might appear that I am, but I am not. I know that you know that I always hide my hurts under a smile. Oh Legolas you know me better than I know myself. You saw right through me, and with that, I leave myself in your own judgment.

Two days left now Legolas. Two more days left, I am sorry for breaking our little promise of not saying anything about parting but I cannot help it, I want to let you know while I'm still given a chance... who knows? And now, time flies so swiftly that I cannot even savor the moments that I am with you. I know you are desperate for my answer, and now I shall answer your question, but before I tell you, I want you to know that I love you.

Legolas, I am so terribly sorry but I cannot be with you, I wanted to, you know I wanted to, I wanted to lose myself in you, to have you wrap your arms around me, or simply just to feel you near me. It might seem simple but those are things that I only ask for. Legolas, I love you, but I am not going to be selfish. I love you and then I am willing to set you free. I want you to be happy Legolas. If not with me then with somebody else. I am better off knowing that you're with somebody else than knowing that you will obliterate yourself. This, your happiness, now matters to me more than my own. And with this my love, I want you to forget me, live and be happy, and live your life with the lessons you have learned from our... my mistakes. I cannot say no more. Forgive me for not telling you personally... to tell you the truth; I have no strength to do so. Sorry Legolas. I'm so so very truly sorry. I love you.

Sincerely,

Lailomeiel

Her letter was full of scribbles and slashes and marks of her teardrops. But Lailome's letter did not make anything acceptable, but worse, for this flared up Legolas. There is no way he's going to let her give up. There is no way he's going to lose her like he did years ago, he's not going to give up, nor let her do the same. He's going to fight for her, to fight for their love. Legolas folded her letter and jumped from his branch and ran towards Elrond's house.

Thranduil, Briarvale, Elrond and the-now-calmed-and-nicer-Isendor are talking the wedding as usual in the study when Legolas barged in, angrier than he could ever be.

"I wan't you to stop this madness Father!" He yelled at his Father, his face reddening in anger.

Thranduil, surprised at his son's actions, bade the others to leave but Legolas would not let them.

"You all don't know what you are doing!" Legolas raged. His eyes wild. All those that sees him in that state could only watch him in their astonishment. "Father, you'll kill her! You'll kill the woman I love!" As Legolas got near to his father, Isendor butted in, "I beg your pardon? King Thranduil, with all due respect to you and your son? How could you let him speak to you in this manner in front of us? What insolence..---!" He was about to say something when Legolas grabbed him in his collar, "Don't try me, Sir Windspell and you might meet your doom!" Legolas seethed. Elrond, Thranduil and Briarvale suddenly went back to their senses and tried to remove Legolas' grip on Isendor when Lailomé entered the door, it took her only a fraction of a second to know what was happening. She then stepped between Legolas and Isendor.

"Tampa Legolas!" She said, facing him. Legolas was puzzled. He did not get why Lailomé was acting this way. "Please..." Lailomé pleaded as she pulled him away from Isendor. "I don't want you to stain your hands, please." She whispered to him as she held his hands and slowly put them down, calming him. Lailomé looked at the elder elves and Isendor and bade them to leave her and Legolas alone but Legolas disinclined in which she sensed some prejudice in it. She was about to follow him as he went out of the halls when Thranduil asked her to stay.

"Let him be child, I know he's just confuse of everything... he'll forget it soon." Thranduil said, rather persuading. Hoping that Lailomé would believe him that the cause of Legolas' actions was due to confusion and it was only due to that even though he knows that it really wasn't.

Lû – Time.

Cell ed. – Running out.

Dar' an 'nin – Stay with me.

Amin 'car al' 'sint – I do not know.

Amin mela lle – I love you.

Amin sinta, an 'ha 'nedh lle heneb. – I know, for I see it in your eyes.