Disclaimer: I do NOT own Peacemaker Kurogane or Rurouni Kenshin. They are the properties of their respective creators and the Shinsengumi and Ishin belong to history. This is an insanity fic not to be taken seriously.

M. Kasshoku: Soujirou will get to see how deadly his old man can be…

Clarification on haikus: They are 3 line poetry with the following structure.

Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables.

The Kill-Itou poem is not a haiku.

On with the show, well, sorta

Sake Shack LIVE! 7: Aoiya Nite

When Kenshin was getting ready to leave for the Shack, he finds a letter from Aoshi on his doorstep. It left him scratching his head.

"Himura-san, do me a favour and stay home, ok? And Happy Birthday."

In the Kyoto Sake Shack, Makimachi Misao is standing onstage. With her is a sullen Aoshi. Aoshi speaks. "Misao, do we have to go through with this?" Misao nods in her hyper genki manner. "Well, the Ishin are still looking for Umeko-san. Besides, Aoshi-sama, you promised me that if you lose to me at janken…"

"I got to reveal my experiences in the Oniwabanshu's heyday… got it…" Aoshi did not sound too keen as he loaded the projector. Misao takes the mike.

Since Umeko's still chasing after some samurai and her waitresses are hounding a wolf, all except Miss Nami, who for reasons unknown, is kinda tied up at this moment. Welcome to Aoiya Nite!

In an empty house a few streets from the shack, a bound and gagged Nami is trying desperately to free herself. The last thing she recalled was opening her door to one hot okashira Aoshi before everything went black.

Shinomori Aoshi became okashira at age sixteen… because he is SO talented. Okina had no choice but to step down. That reason in addition to the fact Ji-ya was facing a sexual harassment suit from the Edo kunoichi branch…

"She's lying! I never harassed the girls!" Okina exclaimed then he reached out to pinch the bottom of Yamizaki Ayumu as she was passing by his table. Ayumu gave a squeak of alarm. Her younger brother Susumu glared at the old man before asking his sister. "May I?"

Ayumu shook her head, took out her own kunai and attacked Okina ninja style.

Aoshi coughed before continuing. "Actually it was a big job. Edo Castle Security was quite a responsibility. The action was all in Kyoto and I had difficulties finding staff…"

(Flashback to Kyoto Tower bamboo forest at night. Edo Castle Security Job Applications.)

Shinomori is looking very stern. A big muscle man is showing off his muscles. "How are your fighting skills?" Aoshi drew his kodachi. Mr Muscles blinked in surprise. "Fighting? Isn't this the tryout for Mr Muscles Japan?"

Aoshi sweatdrops. "NEXT!"

Next is a pot bellied young man. "Any skills for Edo Castle Security?" Aoshi asks.

"Er, I spit fire…" The candidate tries unsuccessfully to demonstrate his abilities. "NEXT!"

Next candidate. "I shoot darts," a small man declared. He tries and all the darts misses by a mile. One gets Aoshi in the sleeve. Aoshi was standing behind him. Aoshi throws the dart away in disgust.

"NEXT!" To Aoshi's surprise, his assistant, Hannya, arrives with a little ninja toddler. Misao.

"Hannya, what is the meaning of this?"

"Okina-san says you're to take care of her until he can get a nursemaid. The nursemaid interviews were unsuccessful…" Hannya's words trail off as they observe Okina's flight from a mob of very angry would-be nursemaids.

(End flashback)

Misao: That was how we first met! (Heart-heart-heart)

Hannya calls out. "Boss, we've improved loads since then!"

Aoshi manages a rare grin. "I even considered transferring to Kyoto as the Shinsengumi's shinobi after Yamazaki resigned to be a doctor. I was an idealist. I thought, working with a group of honourable samurai can't be bad. I was so wrong…"

(Shinsengumi HQ. The one they are sharing with a certain temple)

Aoshi strolls along on his first day of work in his new job. It seemed nothing can go wrong. He greets a couple of monks and the new doctor Yamazaki before continuing on his way… Then he turns the corner… His face darkens and he stomps off to Hijikata-san's office. Hijikata looks up as Shinomori enters. Okita is there writing letters.

"Shinomori, how's things? Okita, meet Shinomori…"

Without a word, Aoshi bows and hands a letter to Hijikata. "Letter of resignation? But why?"

"Go behind the library and see for yourself." Aoshi leaves without even a backwards glance. The two Miburou stare at each other.

On the way to the said spot, Okita turns to Hijikata… "Toshi, I wonder what upset him so?"

They turn the corner and find Saitou Hajime and Tokio in a position that leaves nothing to misunderstanding. Okita's face darkens and takes on a demonic cast. "HAJIME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY COUSIN?"

He then launches off into a rant about how he's gonna kill Saitou Hajime, very painfully. Hijikata restrains the enraged Okita. "Saitou! Marry her! MARRY HER IMMEDIATELY! This is AN ORDER!" Seeing the two of the Trio passing by, "Sano! Shinpachi! Hold him! Hurry before he kills Hajime for real!" It takes all three men to restrain Okita.

(Flashback ends)

Soujirou: "Wow, and I thought Shishio-sama in a bad mood was scary…"

Everyone is sniggering. Saitou groans and tries to disappear by creeping to the door. Tokio decides that she is in the mood and pounces on him. "Hajime-kun, what say we give Tsu-chan another little brother or sister?"

"Here? Now?" Saitou blinks in bewilderment. Tokio shook her head but added seductively. "I think there's a nice abandoned water mill to the west… just a short walk away…" She kissed him on the lips before running off giggling. Left with no choice, he followed.

"What does she see in him?" Megumi wonders and shakes her head. Misao grins and continues.

Now for more of Misao, cool ninja gal! All the best of Misao and Aoshi! Ta-da!

Okita whispers something to the Shinsengumi spooks and they start to leave quietly.

(Random flashbacks of young Misao practicing her ninja skills with Aoshi. After using a certain restaurant for kunai target practice, she and her baby sitter flee from an angry naginata-swinging Umeko-dono. Misao's first steps on the roof and subsequent fall into her guardian's waiting arms. Aoshi doing laundry with Misao piggy-backing. An slightly older Misao playing ball with Aoshi and his gang. A more recent shot of Misao smashing a tablet and altar, sending the fragments the way of a former wolf-turned-cop smoking outside Kamiya dojo. )

I'm so uber-COOL!

Aoshi: "Misao, that is quite enough…"

More Misao! (Goes all hyped up and waves big rising-sun-type fans)

Amidst much grumbling, everyone starts getting up to leave. Gentatsu, Toki and Shigure (from the Samurai X movie 2000) are among them.

Gentatsu: "We get back from the dead and this is the best show they've got to offer, jeez!"

Toki: "The previous shows were much better… they had actual swordfight sequences…"

Shigure: "What a letdown… Hey! I remember there's this place in Tokyo where…" (whispers into Gentatsu's ears so Toki cannot hear his words)

Gentatsu's eyes light up "Shigure, you sly dog! Toki-chan, go home and sleep now, ok?"

Both Shigure and Gentatsu chortle as they floated out, (They're ghosts, remember?) leaving one very puzzled Toki behind.

Tokyo. Kamiya dojo. The Bakumatsu spooks are throwing a birthday bash for Kenshin. Basically, the dojo looks like the set up for the Afterlife Spooks Annual Bash. One Himura Kenshin, in his PJs, is looking decidedly worried as Okita takes his Kenji 'flying' onto the roof. Kaoru's screaming as the ghosts, many of whom met REALLY bloody ends by Battousai's blade, bled freely on the tatami. Tomoe, bleeding copiously from her fatal wound, tries to calm her down.

"Seesha appreciate your kindness, but can you leave seesha and family in peace now?" Kenshin sweat-drops as Kondo starts a round of head-polo with some decapitated spooks in the dojo.

"Not a chance, Battousai!" Tomoe's fiancé, Kiyosato, pats him on the back. "Look who's here!"

Gentatsu and Shigure float in. "Happy birthday, Himura-san! We brought the others of the Mimawarigumi as well!"

Kenshin groans as the other Kyoto peacekeeping unit joined their Shinsengumi counterparts for the festivities. Okita is running from a sword-wielding Hijikata after scrawling choice haiku on the dojo wall. Kenji is being rescued from the roof by Yahiko.

A naginata-holding woman peers in. "Excuse me, is this Kyoto Sake Shack?"

"UMEKO-DONO?" Everyone freezes and face-faults anime-style. Yes, our lovely Umeko-dono's direction sense has outdone itself again.

A/N:

The Mimawarigumi is the other Kyoto peacekeeping unit. They are not as famous as the Miburou and they patrol a different part of the city. Coincidentally, Tomoe's fiancé , Gentatsu and Shigure were in that group. Party at Kamiya Dojo! Sounds like they need an exorcist… at least they found Umeko-dono.