Disclaimer: I do NOT own Peacemaker Kurogane or Rurouni Kenshin. They are the properties of their respective creators and the Shinsengumi and Ishin belong to history. This is an insanity fic not to be taken seriously.

Swirly: Shura the pirate? I wonder where she has sailed off to. Maybe later…

Yami Chikara: Hiko is a stubborn one. Tough on the outside, soft inside. More about stern senseis in this chapter.

Lolo popoki: Kaoru needs cooking lessons.

M.Kasshoku: Yep, poor Kenshin.

Maeko-Nohara: Glad my portrayal of Hiko's life with Kenshin was well-received.

The following chapter's gonna be very PMK-centric, namely Suzu-centric. Will include bedroom comedy. However, by the end of this, Tomoe will have another patient. This is at least a PG-13.

Sake Shack LIVE! 11: Suzu's Sensei

Welcome back.

In the audience, Suzu is staring daggers at Ichimura Tetsunosuke. Sure, his ex-best friend's happily married with a little boy… And he's a psychotic, embittered, and after that minor incident with that bitch and her hairpin, broken man. He was filthy rich, but that's nothing if your life-goal's making Tetsu miserable. Everything started because that idiot pup killed his beloved master.

At the Ichimura table. Saya turns to her husband. He's staring at you again. "I know." Why don't you explain you were only doing your job? Besides, you didn't kill that person. Okita-san did. "Let it go, Saya. That freak wouldn't be forgiving me after all this while…"

Suzu? Can you get up here?

"Sorry, Umeko-san. I'm stuck in my wheelchair for life after some bitch tried to murder me," Suzu snickered. "Well, you deserved it for insulting my Saya and my son!" Tetsu snapped in reply. "Break it up!" Saya finally yells and restrains her husband. On stage, someone is stepping into the spotlight…

"Sensei?" Suzu blinked in surprise. Then he slowly gets up from his wheelchair and walks towards the man respected the most…

Suzu finally smiled from his heart for once in a very long time and broke into a run up the stage. "Sensei!" He tries to hug Yoshida. Yoshida side steps him Hiko-style and Suzu falls off the other edge of the stage with a crash.

Yoshida turns to Umeko. "I told you, woman, that I wouldn't like this…"

"Sensei?" A confused Suzu crawled back onto the stage. Maybe his Master Yoshida was just uncomfortable being hugged in public. Still, it hurt.

Introducing Master Yoshida. Yoshida, you took Kitamura Suzu under your wing as your page after his elder brother was killed in the line of duty…

"And I regretted it! That boy's nothing like his brother. He is too clingy. I remember those sleepless nights we had. I am a light sleeper…"

Yes, I have heard something to that end.

(Flashback. Inn room. Suzu and Yoshida are turning in for the night.)

"Oyasuminasai, sensei," Suzu puts out the lamp as his sensei replies with a grunt. Suzu blinks as he sees a black shadow flitting past the window. He lets out a squeak of fright and scampers into his sensei's futon.

"Suzu? What are you doing?" Yoshida murmurs as he feels his page curled up next to him under the blanket.

"Nothing, sensei..."

"Then get out of my futon!" He tries to kick Suzu out. Suzu lets out a shriek of alarm and grips onto the man.

"Please, sensei! I admit it! I'm scared… there are demons outside the window." Yoshida laughs at the boy's words. "You better get used to the demons, boy. You'll be seeing more here in Kyoto. Now get back to your own futon!"

(End flashback)

"And this sorry little scaredy-cat will do it again at least four times before sunrise!" Yoshida made a sound of disgust. "Thank goodness he got used to the ninjas eventually."

"Sensei! You promised not to tell!" Suzu whines.

"Did I? And you promised not to let my sleep get disturbed, but…"

(Flashback. Inn room again. This time, both occupants are out. Two inn waitresses aka kunoichi are tidying the room. They are putting nails and pointy objects into a futon.)

Kunoichi 1: "That Kitamura brat's been rude to me again. He thinks he's so big b'cos of his sensei! I say he's nothing but a stray cat Master Yoshida picked up!"

Kunoichi 2: "Are you sure this futon's the brat's?"

Kunoichi 1: "Dunno, pass me the other futon…"

That night, both Yoshida and Suzu leapt from their futons in pain after finding the little 'gifts' room service left behind.

(End flashback)

Laughter all round the shack. Hijikata was chuckling. "And I thought Tetsu was the worst page ever!"

Yoshida raised an eyebrow at Hijikata's remark. "I always knew that redhead kid you were playing cards with in the teahouse was a bad influence on you, Kitamura. You should have killed him when I ordered you to. But you chickened out! Then you stopped me from killing the little whelp. I'm very disappointed in you. You denied me a proper funeral by making off with my head! After my death, did you live your life as an honourable man? No, you were busy whoring yourself out like the sorry little slut you are!"

Suzu is flabbergasted and deeply hurt by his sensei's remarks. Umeko steps in with a good word for Suzu.

Look here, Yoshida. The boy was really badly affected by your demise; do go easy on him…Nami, next clip please, that one about Suzu going to the grief-management session as I advised him in my column. I wonder why he never showed…

(Kyoto. Suzu is very hungry, very tired and very distraught. He is trudging along a Kyoto street holding his master's rotting head, wrapped up in his scarf in his arms. He stops in front of that infamous Black Cat Mansion)

Suzu: "Was the house on the right or left? Maybe I should go for that grief-management thingy…"

He collapsed from sheer exhaustion. The perverted owner of the mansion returned from an outing and spotted the unconscious boy. "Is that boy dead?"

"No, sir!" A servant cautiously poked at Suzu with a foot and elicited a small moan.

"He has an unusual beauty… Men, lock him up in the wood shed, I may want to be better acquainted with him…"The old man licked his lips in a very disturbing manner as he ogled the boy.

The servants pick Suzu up, bundle and all, and entered the mansion grounds. As the gate closed, we see Women's Association of Japan chairwoman, Umeko-san, escorted by Nami, hurrying to the grief-management meeting in the house next door.

"Umeko-dono, think that page will show? I mean, some boys may be awkward at an all-female session."

"Dunno, Nami…"

(End reel)

Someone roared from a corner of the shack. "You ingrate! I saved you from certain death, fed you, clothe you, loved you like my very own son and how did you repay my kindness? You murdered me in cold blood!" It was the former owner of Black Cat Mansion.

Suzu manages a snicker. "You loved me alright, you old perv! The same way you loved those other kids… Do you know the local orphanage had you on their list of persons not to entrust with children even if the world ends?"

Umeko makes a disapproving cluck. Nami obeys and asks Emiko, Kyoto medium, to send that paedophile spirit off with a dash of holy water. Good riddance!

Suzu kneeled before his sensei. "Sensei, please…" He is begging with all his heart for the man to even look at him. Yoshida has not even bothered to look at him.

"Sensei!" Suzu tried again, more insistent this time. For a moment, his heart lifted as Yoshida paused.

"Remember that little talk we had in the Kyoto Tower about bushido? You had promise then, but not now! If some sorry Miburou whelp can contribute to society teaching kendo and preserving our national heritage even through some two-bit memorial hall, what have you been doing all these years? You are no student of mine!"

With that, Yoshida strode out of the shack. Poor Suzu is in tears by now. His heart was totally broken by those harsh words.

"Suzu?" Ichimura Tetsunosuke reaches out tentatively to pat the shoulder of his one-time friend. When he did not get bitten, stabbed or anything, he puts his arm round Suzu's shoulders, forcing him to his feet.

"Excuse me, Umeko-dono. I think Suzu's got enough for tonight." He steered Suzu towards Tomoe's counselling service. Halfway there, he suddenly shoves Suzu down the cellar stairs. "That's for killing Ryouma-san and getting his men after my life for years before they got tired of trying to kill me! And for San-nan and Akesato, bullying my Saya…" Everyone sweat drops.

A/N:

The Suzu bedroom scenes are taken from various letters to Umeko's Kitchen and personal ads in the New Kyoto Post. Umeko was once chairwoman of the Women's Association, and she made an exception for Suzu at their grief management session, but he didn't show up. Tetsu's a real pal, ain't he? The loud brat has matured, NOT. Suzu did get him into loads of trouble over Ryouma's assassination in the manga.