A/N: This is product of sleep-deprivation, caffeine, two teen-age psycho Marauder fangirls, and a full moon. All original characters are not based on actual people..Also, this is a Spin Off of A very Interesting Year
WARNING: The following may be a little too weird for some readers. This fic contains many misconceptions and mistranslations. We advise you to be either on a sugar high or giddy with sleeplessness prior to reading this. Do not read this expecting it to be serious. Do not read if you are cute-fic intolerant, it may contain some 'aww!' moments. Do not keep at temperatures above 39 degrees C.
Tha Muse:.. Yeah well.. that 'bout covers everything both related and unrelated.. I think you should start it know..
Aiwen:.,. Right-o!
The Linen Closet
"Almost summer Jim!" declared Sirius enthusiastically.
"Tomorrow we go home.." said James as he shoved his cauldron into his already over-stuffed trunk.
Remus watched from the edge of his bed, as usual, he had done his packing in advance.
"When we come back.. we'll be seventh years," said Aragorn with a grin.
"Brilliant observation, bro," said Legolas with a smirk.
"The first thing I'm doing when we get off that train is locking my trunk with everything except my owl and broom in the basement, where it will be promptly forgotten until the letters arrive," announced James
"As soon as I get home.." Sirius paused, "I'm leaving again.. in fact, I think I'll skip the entire going home bit altogether. And just head to Prongs's house. . ."
Remus glanced at the calendar, "Apparently, I'll be paying a visit to 'my ill mother' for a few days and then we'll see what happens,"
"Ears and I are going to check out all the teen clubs for Muggles while we're in London. ." Aragorn slipped a sly smirk to his brother, who retorted with a grin.
"When I get home," began Boromir quietly, "….. I'm baking COOKIES!" he smiled happily.
Sirius shook his head.
"You're absolutely hopeless, Scales.."
"It's midnight.. I'm thinking we better get all of our business matters in order," suggested Legolas as he crammed an oversized box into his already full trunk. Sirius eyed the box suspiciously but refrained from asking.
"You bet Ears," grinned James, "We have to make up for all the things we won't be able to do on summer break tomorrow, but tonight…"
Aragorn leapt up and leaned against the wall much in James Bond fashion.
"Target… Slytherin!" He shot at Remus with his finger.
"Operation .. Interior Designer is underway. ." said Aragorn.
"That has to be the stupidest name we've ever come up with . . .It's worse than Project Deranged Marsupial," commented Remus
"Well it would have made sense if we had actually got the opossum instead of having to substitute a weasel," James said.
"Yeah.. in retrospect, I think we should have used an angry badger," reminisced Sirius
The group paused for a moment picturing the alternative outcome.
"Anyway, I don't think we could have come up with a more horrible name if we tried," continued Remus.
".. But we did try, Moony," said Legolas, "Tuesday.. we agreed it was in fact the stupidest name we could think of.."
Remus sighed, "Whatever.. let's get this over with.."
"Maybe McGonagall won't notice until it's too late to suspend us for the rest of the year," said Aragorn as they walked out of the portrait hole.
"Well my money is she'll pin it on us about two minutes before the train leaves," said Sirius.
"I don't think it'll be McGonagall at all," mused James, "I think Dumbledore will have it on us as soon as the farewell feast begins."
"It's not like he'll say anything though," said Legolas.
"I know, I just said he'd know it was us," remarked James.
"Everyone will know it's us.. They just need the proper evidence to prove it."
((A/n: Hee.. Spiffy Anime Cameo!
Detective Conan: One truth Prevails!))
"This was actually the most well thought out thing we've ever came up with," stated Remus, " but it all hangs in the balance of a very.. unreliable.. medium.."
"Well, we'll see where the last five years of snack stealing has landed us," said Aragorn.
"House elf loyalty is not in question," began Sirius. He smirked and continued, "Especially since we've got one of their own with us." Legolas smacked the back of his head, almost on impulse.
"Oww. Don't you think I've taken enough Bludgers to the head to be spared all other head injuries?" asked Sirius with a hurtful look.
"You've got a point, Padfoot. You're already running on the minimum amount of brain cells required to operate your minuscule brain."
"Boys, boys. Stop your petty quarreling!" Said Boromir in an almost eerily dead-on McGonagall voice.
The last owl flew into the Owlery window just as the first light of dawn stuck the sky.
The Marauders were already sitting in the common room awaiting a gaggle of Gryffindors to follow into the Great Hall. It was entirely dull-witted to draw unnecessary attention to themselves.
Meanwhile, in the girls dorms, every female from second year upward was uneasily preparing for the feast, save two who faced the expected Marauder pranks to rain down upon them, conscious to them or not.
"If Potter so much as pulls anything resembling a prank that involves me or put me at any inconvenience what-so-ever, he's going to wish he'd been impaled on his broomstick in the last Quidditch match," said a auburn-haired sixth year.
"Better get yourself ready to tear into him then, Lily," said her raven-haired friend with a grin.
Lily pulled out two bottles from under her pillow, tossing one to her friend.
"Here's to what's sure to be a long morning for us," Lily paused raising her bottle, "And what will most defiantly be an unfathomably longer train ride for the boys." Lily smirked and the two sipped at their bottles.
"Time to run the Gauntlet again, Wren," said Lily.
Miraculous (and heavily suspicious) as it was, every Gryffindor made it down to the Great Hall entirely unharmed, save a 3rd year who tripped in the Entrance Hall and suffered from a minor scraped knee. The sky above was drearily cloudy and foggy. Soon, every person had filed into the Hall and took seats at their respective house tables. The ceremony was about to begin and every student was present, except for the entire Slytherin house.
Dumbledore approached his podium.
"It seems we are having a bit of an attendance problem, I have sent Professor Malfoy to check the Slytherin dungeons for any possible upsets causing the students to be detained from attending… until then.." he waved his hand, " Tuck In!" And food filled the tables.
Dumbledore went to sit in his usual spot and suddenly gave a rather surprised yelp.
Sirius raised an eyebrow at James, who grinned in return
Dumbledore bent down behind the high table as McGonagall hurried to his side.
He pulled up a rather dazed looking student, still in his nightclothes. He held in his other hand a length of rope, a handkerchief, and a half-eaten apple.
The Marauders shot a questioning look at Aragorn.
"I got hungry," he shrugged.
McGonagall helped support the half-asleep greasy haired boy.
"What happened here, Mr. Snape?.." she asked somewhat rhetorically.
The boy blinked a bit and managed to mumble a bit.
"I dun remember.. I jus, went to sleep…like always and.. then I find myself here.."
Legolas looked at his watch.
"Thirty-seconds," he mumbled to his comrades.
They looked up at the ceiling as the clouds began to fade away, sunlight peeked through and began to reveal something rather disturbing on the ceiling.
"Professor!" called a 7th year Ravenclaw as she leapt from her seat and pointed to the ceiling.
The Hall broke out in horrified yells and stunned whispers. For, bound and gagged, was the Slytherin House in its entirety. Surrounding the newly awoken and rather horrified students was an immense banner that unrolled to the ground behind the High Table. On it in emerald green pen read the following,
Farewell, for now, to our school; our home,
For the next two months, our minds shall roam,
And though they rot and melt away,
We'll re-learn it next year, anyway.
We shall return, we've yet to cease,
For Hogwarts remains in one piece,
Old Hoggy Warts deserves this rest,
We've put both It and Staff to test.
Though teachers turn hostile at our names,
We'll be here until they pop their veins,
And they'll never get a moment's rest,
As long as our healthy lung's draw breath.
Students, be prepared! But not for class,
We'll show no mercy as we have in the past.
Fear us, hate us, do as you must
But without our spice this place would suck.
So we thank you all, for our future year,
We just can't wait until it's here!
To Hogwarts, our school, our pride, and our love,
To the staff and students (even the ones above),
We salute, we scream, we yell, and we Cheer,
Thanks for another unforgettable year!
Messrs. of Mischief
The Marauders silently put their hands over their heart in silent salute as everyone around them were attempting to free the Slytherins or panicking. Sirius wiped a false tear from his eye.
A/n: Yup. I know, I know.. My poetry skills are indeed less than that of a dead raccoon. But, hey, it's 5 am.. Not that I could do much better at any other time, but still. And I also know that it has nothing to do with a linen closet. It won't for a while… but don't worry, it'll get there eventually,
Tha Muse:. Review! Whhhhooooot!
PS. .I can't write poetry.. but I WILL illustrate fics. The End