Disclaimer: I do NOT own Peacemaker Kurogane or Rurouni Kenshin. They are the properties of their respective creators and the Shinsengumi and Ishin belong to history. This is an insanity fic not to be taken seriously.

M.Kasshoku: The main bulk of the Shinsengumi blunders will be revealed in coming chapters. However, who says Umeko will not totally humiliate certain pack members in this chapter?

Sailor-Earth13: Glad you liked it! Some of the Shinsengumi focus is based on PMK characters.

Lolo: Yes, Saitou and the others of the Shinsengumi got well-chewed up by the bakufu for their blunder. They had to place a public apology in every newspaper in Japan, including the4 Choushu-run New Kyoto Post.

To Swirly. Shura finally makes a cameo… And sadly, Tatsu is still a loser like Jon Arbuckle of Garfield.

Sake Shack LIVE! 13: Love's in the Air

Umeko was acting as mediator between a certain former pirate leader and a former Shinsengumi book keeper.

Shura glared at Ichimura Tatsunosuke. "They told me at the Totally Desperate Cheapskate matchmaker that he is a bachelor with a past in the Shinsengumi. I was expecting a samurai-type not a wimp!"

Tatsu retorted. "I was prepared to accept a former teahouse waitress when they told me she had a past with loads of men… but not a bloodthirsty pirate!"

Shura went red with fury. "Loads of men? You think I'm a whore? I'll show you how bloodthirsty I can be!"

Umeko tried to restrain Shura as Tatsu fled for his life. "Hey! Where're the peacekeepers of Kyoto? I need help here!"

As if answer to her prayers, a uniformed Okita showed up. "Calm down now… Miss, I'm sure you can find a much better man than him… Try this match-making agency… They worked for Toshi. Unfortunately, he didn't live long enough for his wedding… And they found Haruko-san another compatible bridegroom barely two weeks after he got killed…" He handed Shura a card. She went off to try her luck. Umeko thanked him for his assistance and switched on the mike.

Love is weird. No rhyme or reason to it. For the next part of our show, we will be showing the amazing power of love in those troubling times. I believe you folks have seen the touching love between Saitou and Tokio… Now we turn our focus elsewhere. Once upon the Bakumatsu, a teen assassin wrote to me for advice about a certain lady. This lady had lost her first love but found her second in the lad…

Nami runs the reel.

(Flashback. Ikeda-ya incident. )

Kenshin and Tomoe are running towards the inn. Kenshin reaches out for Tomoe's hand as they run along. They suddenly stop as Battousai senses Saitou and a pack of Miburou nearby, in the Ikeda-ya Inn. The massacre is all but over. Confused, Battousai is torn between taking Tomoe to safety and rushing in to save Katsura-san. Frightened, Tomoe puts her hand over his as he nearly draws his sword. She shakes her head.

For a brief moment their eyes meet. Kenshin's cheeks turn a flaming red as he turns from hitokiri to awkward teen. Kondo's voice rings out: "Dammit! The rebel Katsura is not here!"

Tomoe and Kenshin flee just seconds before Saitou-san steps out of the inn. Darting into an alleyway, they skim past Patrols 1, 2 and 8 unnoticed by the men in the aftermath of the raid.

(End flashback.)

Then comes marriage followed by a honeymoon in a lovely village outside Kyoto city limits.

"Didn't he kill her later?" Okita reminded.

"It was an accident, okay?" Kaoru leapt to her hubby's defence and bonked Okita with her bokken before Kenshin could stop her.

Of course there were other couples. Like my baby bro meeting his wife-to-be in a certain teahouse… Bro, you used to torment me with lengthy poems about your turtle-dove's eyes. Your poetry is way too mushy; I consider it a miracle she could read it without being sick. And you tended to forget the time with her!

Kogoro blushed bright red like a boiled octopus.

And we must not forget puppy-love blossoming…

(Flashback. A shrine in Kyoto. Tetsu and Saya praying. Saya's girl-pal, Hana, announcing she's gonna marry Toudou Heisuke and teasing Saya over Tetsu. Tetsu and Saya playing beanbags in a teahouse. A much older Tetsu and Saya by the mill pool. Tetsu gives Saya a hairpin.)

Tetsu turned to Saya with a broad grin. "I knew that hairpin will come in useful one day…" Saya patted her hair with the pin sticking out of it. They had just persuaded the police to return it. It was confiscated as a deadly weapon after that street brawl with Suzu.

How did he finally propose to you? Saya puts in a reel.

((Post-Toba Fushimi, post-Bakumatsu. Saya is at the semi-demolished teahouse in Kyoto because she has nowhere else to go. She is hanging out the laundry when Tetsu comes running along with Sakamoto's men, on horseback, still after his life. He runs past the teahouse, panting out his proposal to Saya.))

"SAYA -gasp! Will you, ack!" He dodges a bullet and skids round the teahouse again. "Can't you see I'm trying to propose here?" He yells at his pursuers.

He comes round again. "Marry me, please! I love you!" He suddenly turns on the nearest pursuer, knocking him out of the saddle. From atop the horse, he reaches for Saya. Saya nods and grabs his hand, letting him pull her into the saddle in front of him. She tosses the sheet she was hanging at the rest of Tetsu's pursuers.

In the confusion, Tetsu and Saya gallop off into the sunset and a whole new life together…

((End reel to cheers and applause from the audience))

"Iron boy, I couldn't have done that better myself!" Sakamoto slapped Tetsu across the back.

"Tetsu-kun, that was so romantic and heroic…" Akesato mused. "Not to mention near-suicidal!" Turning to Yamanami, she adds, "Told you Saya will find her happiness. She's one strong girl."

"San-nan, if you don't mind me saying… how could you miss Sara at the crossroads? Never mind, if you hadn't died then, I wouldn't have met Sara." Sakamoto summed up.

Yes, yes. Poor San-nan, his gal stood him up and he committed ritual suicide… whatever! There are other ways to totally mess up your love life. I have a request here from a Tsubame to a Yahiko.

(Reads) Yahiko-kun, arigato for the candy and the roses. I know they set you back a fair bit. Next time, just drop by at my place for lunch or dinner. Love Tsubame. P.S. I just found out I'm allergic to both chocolates and roses. I will be in hospital for a month. Can you help Tae-san at Akebeko, please? Thanks.

Yahiko's jaw dropped. "Good grief! And I thought Yutaro was making the moves on her."

Kenshin looked at Yahiko. "Yahiko, is that why Yutaro was attacked by a masked assailant on his way here?"

"YAHIKO, you AHOU!" A bruised Yutaro took his bokken and attacked Yahiko. Schoolboy fight was underway with the Shack audience cheering for either boy.

That's all for tonight folks! Join us next time for a full night on our local wolf pack!

A/N:

Next time, it's all blue and white, and red? Break out the bandages!