Okay I know that I said it was a one shot, but that damn CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 and I conferenced about ideas (And how I have to have someone bitch slapping someone or else I would go ass crazy) and we agreed that I should make this a four part series. Now I know some of you were mentioning that this isn't very dark. Well I've got to warn you, I'm moving the rating up to an M because it's MMMM MMMM Good. No seriously there's some pretty disturbing stuff in this chapter and that's just the pepperoni on the pizza. Because in the next chapter the really crazy shizzat starts to happen and I may remind you that I fired the good angel on my shoulder, so I'm pulling no cuts. Everything goes…
BTW these were this chapters words…
Willfully
Masquerade
Inevitable
Fate
Lovingly
Fade
Fragments
Chillingly
Passion
Regret
Pang
Lust
Utmost
Agony
Torment

The Downward Spiral

"The waves drift in and the waves drift out, as the watch's arms whirl about. The darkness is coming, the sun is gone, and it's been hours since it's shone. It's coming through the jungle, coming for the slaughter, leaving tracks in the loam. As its teeth sink in, we realize, we're not going home," she mumbled mindlessly as her eyes closed indolently.

Charlie wrote that song a few weeks ago, it seemed to be burned into her mind, the lyrics repeating like a broken record. She didn't know why, maybe because they held so much meaning for everything that was occurring in the camp.

A few nights ago when Jack had gotten into a quarrel with Sawyer it had gotten a bit out of hand. Jack had actually hit Sawyer first, his balled fist targeting Sawyer's left eye. She didn't want to stop them, she didn't want to become involved, but no one else had the sheer gall to stop them.

She rushed out of her tent after she heard fists flying to see not only Sawyer lying on the ground, but Charlie also, seems he tried to hold Jack back and failed miserably. Sayid was now attempting to stop his flailing fists as Locke talked him down.

She ran to Sawyer's helpless body, he looked like an abandoned puppy in a grimy alleyway. Bending down beside him, she cradled his head as he tried to push himself up, but the shiner Jack gave was too severe and his eyes dizzied. In the brief seconds he was conscious, Kate saw his eyes, his baby blue eyes, all tarnished with fright.

Jack brought free of Sayid, pushing the trained soldier into the sand with a forceful blow, then charged towards where Kate sat, trying to rouse Sawyer. She would have bet money on the fact that he'd strike her, but she'd have been wrong. There was enough Jack left inside to stop a few seconds before his hand contacted her face, showing disappointment and expectancy.

Her hands slid behind Sawyer's head, bringing it up to rest on her lap, as she glared at Jack, who stared horrifyingly at his hand for the moments before Sayid and Locke restrained him. His eyes, his face, they were all dazed, and only after everyone had fallen asleep had he regained himself. Fleeing into the jungle like he had a few days after their arrival on the island, looking for answers, running from embarrassment.

This memory came to her as quickly as a feared injection is over, her eyes drifting shut, her mind turning off. This was the way it always was, sleep by exhaustion, sleeping as opposed to staying awake any longer and living a nightmare. She was beginning to become independent on it, like Charlie had heroin.

As soon as she thought of him, her words strung together, the pictures in her brain blurry and faded, her thoughts object broke through the tarp curtains of her shelter, a given anxiousness wafting through the air.

"Kate!" he spoke loud, with urgency, no remorse for waking her of her slumber. His fingers entwined with each other, the newly replaced duct tape on his fingers lightly scratched as he did so.

Her body moved involuntarily, pushing her into a lazy sitting position, the cogs in her mind starting up again, "What is it, Charlie?" she questioned wiping at the dried tears that stained her face like blood.

"He's back," Charlie declared, his voice panicky, his syllables shaking. He moved a hand up and scratched the back of his head, then adjusted the tape on his index finger so the 'B' was facing up. All his actions jittery.

Kate shot her eyes up to his, interrogating his honesty with one swift sweep of his face. Charlie nodded vigorously as his fingers reached and floated just above the deep purple bruise on his cheek, "He's at the caves."

A cloud of air shot from her mouth into the cool night of the beach as she sighed. She ran a delicate hand through the massive bunch of tangled knots she called her hair, and finally shoot her head in agreement. Somebody had to talk to Jack, and she was obviously the only one who could get through to him.

He gave her a reassuring smile as she rose from the sand, giving her blue jeans a quick dusting before she threw on a frail, thin, white long-sleeved top to give her minimal protection against the nights harsh winds and cold temperatures. She didn't even acknowledge Charlie's attempt to lighten the mood as she brushed past him at the entrance.

Striding down the beach towards the trail to the caves, she stopped momentarily at a fire to pick up a torch to illuminate the dark, misty jungle. As she neared the path, she felt a cool hand clamp down on her shoulder.

Spinning around, her eyes stopped on that baby blue, Sawyer's baby blue. They still had the fear, but this time she knew it was for her. "You're not really goin' are ya?" he questioned.

"I have to," she replied shifting uncomfortably, remembering a time when Jack had said the same thing about her approaching Sawyer.

"Freckles, he's lost it," he enlightened, "He's gone crazy."

"He hasn't Sawyer, he's just confused," she made a pitiful effort at an excuse.

"Freckles, he did this, when I asked him how he was doing," Sawyer explained as he pointed to the shimmering plum color of his eyelid.

"He won't hurt me," she informed, though it sounded more like a promise. She turned to leave but Sawyer caught her by the forearm, "He almost hit you Kate," he reminded angrily, "And don't think I haven't seen this," he continued as he held her arm up, showing her the wrist she already knew was sprained.

"Sawyer," she wrenched her arm away from him, peeved at the conversation, "If I don't talk to him, no one will. I'm the only one who has a chance."

"Fine," Sawyer replied, throwing his arms up in the air for a dramatic effect, "But when he does this to you again," Sawyer growled, gesturing to her wrist, "Don't cry for him again."

The night was late when Kate finally made it to the caves, thunderous clouds had gathered over the full moon as objects seemed to take on a bit more eeriness then usual. Everyone seemed to be sleeping, Locke in one cave, Hurley in the next all but one cave that echoed with movement and low muttering, which was in Jack's cave.

Kate placed her torch in one of the many fires surrounding the cave and walked up to the vast opening of the cave and peered in before setting a foot inside. Jack stood inside, pacing back and forth as she'd seen him do so many times, it was a stress reliever to him, like his counting to five.

He seemed to sense her presence because the moment she was about to turn away, he looked up, seeing her form in the glow of the fire. "Hey," he greeted her with a warm smile.

"I was just leaving," she rambled speedily, not wanting him to be upset with her, "I didn't mean to bother you," she added as she turned ready to run to the beach if need be.

"Kate, stay, please. There's a few things I've got to clear up with you," he stated softly, his voice kind and welcomes, like the plucked strings of a harp, or the early birds sweet song. Kate could sense the change in him.

"What happened to you Jack?" she asked as she entered the cave and took a seat beside him on his makeshift bed, "You had me scared."

"I'm sorry," Jack apologized, his face fallen, full of regret, "I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I couldn't even see what I was doing," he explained as he buried his head in his hands, "I don't know what's happening to me."

Kate moved Jack's body to rest against her as he cried tears of anguish that burned like acid as they dripped down his cheeks, "It's okay Jack," she whispered as she lovingly caressed the back of his head, "Wounds can heal, anything you did can be reversed with time."

"I punched Sawyer, I punched Charlie," he reminded as he pulled away from her his spirit in complete agony.

"Bruises will heal Jack, they'll forgive you," she informed, "We all know you're a good person with a golden heart."

"I don't even remember it happening though Kate, only fragments of it, and it scares me," he divulged, "I remember waking up in your tent and then nothing until I let go of your wrist. The same with Sawyer and Charlie, I don't remember anything until I was about to," Jack let his sentence linger as he looked over to Kate; "I don't even want to think about what I was going to do."

"But you didn't do anything to me," she stated trying to ease his pain.

"But I was going to Kate, and if I did, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself," he unveiled, disgusted with himself.

"Jack," she comforted as she slid a hand to his cheek. His once beautiful hazel eyes were now dulled and sullied with torment.

"I love you Kate," he whispered, his body shaking, his eyes glassy with emotion, "I think I always have."

She sniffed back her sobs as she stared at him, "I love you too Jack," she replied her thumb tracing the lines carved in them by millions of sleepless nights, "But," she stopped as she bit her lip, she couldn't cry. Not in front of him, or because of this.

"But what?" he asked tenderly as his grasped her hand.

"How do I know that this isn't going to happen again?" she questioned as she hide her face, unable to see the brokenhearted look she placed on his face.

"Kate," he told her, taking her other hand in his, and tilting her chin up, "I made sure I was okay, I stayed out the jungle for three days to make sure it was out of my system. I can promise you I'm better," he tried to convince.

She stared at him a few seconds, her eyes flashing quickly, doing the same scan she did on Charlie moments ago to verify he was telling the truth. She was skeptical; something seemed to be missing from him. "Kate," he said in a pleading voice, Kate shook her head, "I believe you Jack," she replied. If she didn't believe him, he might give up all hope.

He grinned as he leaned into kiss her, his lips brushing against hers, like some unwritten ecstasy, like fate had finally done its job after a long, drudgery month. Kate willfully deepened the kiss, as her body pressed against his in a fit of passion.

Jack was progressing too quickly for Kate, almost like he viewed sex as a task rather then an expression of love. His mouth was suffocating hers, making her beg for air. His hands weren't the gentle healing tools she thought they were, they were weapons of destruction. As they freely roamed over her body, each area they touched, they left a deformed mark, bruising her, scratching her, pangs of ache shot through her entire body.

His hands gripped at her shirt's material, forcing it over her head, and then abandoning it on the ground as his mouth traveled from her neck to her stomach, alternating in leaving bruises and teeth marks.

"Jack," she groaned out painfully, "You're being a little rough aren't you?" she asked. When he ignored her and began to unzip her blue jeans she turned his head towards her face, "Jack!" His eyes were chilling, as if there was not one humane bone left in his body. The love that was so evident between them had suddenly become pure lust on his behalf.

Involuntarily, Kate wrapped her legs around Jack's waist as he tore at his shirt, ripping it instead of removing it traditionally. His hands slipped to the clasp on her bra, and as his mouth kissed her neck harshly, it slid off, falling to the floor.

Lifting her up, Jack pinned her against the side of the cave, the jagged rocks cutting deep gashes into her back as he fumbled with her jeans, "Jack," Kate gasped, "Maybe we should stop for a bit."

"No," Jack shook his head, then trailed his burning kisses down Kate's chest, between her breasts and over her bellybutton, "I have to make you mine," he announced.

"What?" Kate asked dazedly as their remaining clothes were shed. She never got an answer, because as she began to move with Jack's body against the ridged wall of the cave, she endured the utmost pain.

She was waiting for it to end, it was no longer fun, nor love, nor not even lust, it was just pain. Her limbs shook, battered and scraped, her back bled crimson droplets in the late night's moon, and her lips bruised, swelling in size. She knew the masquerade was over, the little love that had been between them to begin with was no extinguished.

Soon Jack stopped, when the urge and rapaciousness had left his body, and they both seemed to collapse, neither calling for each other's help. Kate sat in the corner for a moment, her mind still in shock as her body convulsed from the harsh activity and coolness of the night.

Purple bruises and ruby colored bit marks lined her stomach, chest and limbs. Everything hurt to move, but Kate winced her way through redressing herself. She could feel the blood permeating her back, the bite marks swelling and her lip trembling. As she looked up to face Jack, he was no where in sight. All that was left of him were scrapes in the sand and his brutal stains left on Kate's body.

She knew this would happen, it was inevitable, Jack was strong, he dueled the sickness, but in the end, a pestilence that has run the island with its unsavory iron grip for the past sixteen years was bound to win. It had, or was turning him savage, feral like an animal without any regrets, nor any emotion.

As she stood shakily glaring at the scrapes in the caves ground from Jack's dash, her shirt tainted blood red, and her jeans sticking to all the wrong spots she silently uttered, "Leaving tracks in the loam."

She almost screamed in pain as she bent down to pick up a blanket and wrapped it around her back as she walked to the beach. Her hands absentmindedly skimmed over a bite mark on her stomach and she repeated, "As its teeth sink in, we realize, we're not going home."

I'm going to work on the next chapter tomorrow, but I also have exams all this week, so the latest it will be up is Sunday, and that's still pushing it.