Hey! Sorry it's been a while, I normally update a lot faster than this. Though there may well be another period where I don't update, my exams are coming up and much as I love writing, passing them is also important.

Hope you enjoy this chapter! It's very SeiferxSquall ish, which should make some people happy. :)

Squall POV

I don't swear very often; I'm rarely emotional enough to truly let go and just curse the world, and I've never been very well versed in the art of cursing things well and truly, but that day, I was saying some words that I never even thought I knew.

Nothing went right, that day after the dinner with Laguna… my father. The word still feels odd now, not quite right, like a word I can't quite shape my mouth into. 'Dad' is even worse. I couldn't even begin to grasp all the meanings of the word 'father'. A father wasn't something I had – being an orphan, alone, not needing anybody, was just as much a part of me as fighting or even breathing.

And what was more, one of the only people in the world I might, perhaps, have considered being close to, I immediately distanced myself from, because I couldn't have him the way I had wanted him. Because he was my father, thus making my feelings for him… whatever they were… impossible, illicit… wrong.

And the one other person I might have trusted had just made it completely impossible for me to run to him for what I needed.

And what did I need?

I needed a little conflict, a fight, something to let me get my frustration out. But I was afraid that the next time I saw Seifer I'd somehow be forced into admitting that I wanted to know more. He liked me more than my father, did he? Exactly how much liking was going on?

But in the end, I screwed up some courage and went asking for a fight.

I got one, of course; he's never turned down the chance to fight me. It was a dance that we loved dancing so much more than any twirling and fancy stepping on a dance floor during the SeeD balls. Neither of us liked that kind of dancing much.

Fighting was our dancing, and it was much more graceful and exhilarating. Ballroom dancing might be nice with an agreeable, skilled partner – but the same was easily said of duelling, and I've never known anyone more skilled than Seifer at offering me a challenge in battle.

It was when we stopped fighting that I felt uncomfortable again; all bad feelings lost in the adrenaline rush of a good duel.

"Feel better?" he asked, with that smirk.

I just shrugged and didn't answer, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

He rolled his eyes and tapped his blade against his boot, looking thoughtful, not just going away like I wanted him to. Because neither of us would leave, even my tension eased a little.

Probably too much. The minute I allowed myself to focus on him, the fact that I had feelings for him, somewhere, and the fact that there was nobody else in the world I could possibly even consider being with came up to give me a good slap in the face.

And the fact that he was wonderfully, arrogantly, annoyingly attractive didn't pass me by, either.

"Why were you so pissed at the guy if you wanted to fuck him?"

The question jolted me out of staring at him, and I removed my eyes from his smug smile, knowing he knew I'd been looking at him and knowing, too, that he probably enjoyed every minute of it.

"He didn't tell me that he was my father."

"Why does that have anything to do with it?" He narrowed his eyes, trying to look into me, through me.

"He could have told me." I'm hoping to annoy him so much with my answers that he stops asking. I wish I'd never told him; it was something I should have kept to myself. Why the hell does he care, anyway?

"Squall…" he said, warningly, "Enough messing about. Give me the real fucking answer now."

"Why do you care?"

He rolled his eyes. "Fuck, thought that was obvious by now."

No, not really, not to my mind, not then.

He read that answer in my eyes and sighed heavily, reaching up a hand to cup my cheek. "Because, for whatever reason, I care about you, despite the fact that it goes against everything I've ever done to you."

I still don't know what drew me closer and closer to him then, until I was looking up into his face, the inches of difference in our heights putting me at a little disadvantage. "And you think I'm hot?"

"Yeah," he nodded, his hand not moving from my cheek and his eyes almost riveted to mine. "But that's -"

I kissed him.

I still don't know why I did that, either, just a vague feeling that I'm glad I did. It was the perfect moment, and despite the fact that we should probably have sat down and had a good chat about how screwed up a relationship between us would be, considering the fact that I wanted to fuck my father, before abandoning the whole stupid idea, it's been a good thing. For both of us, I hope, but I know it's been good for me.

In that moment of closeness, he asked again, and I had to explain myself. "Why are so angry at your father?"

"Because he should have told me when I first knew him or never." I thought that explanation was enough, but Seifer stared at me, willing me to tell him more. "I… guess I'm angrier at myself, for not knowing."

He made a soft, amused sound and I stepped quickly back, glaring at him.

"Princess," he said softly.

Before he could say any more my glare increased a notch in intensity and he smirked.

"Squall," he corrected, cupping my cheek again, "you're an idiot. You could have something with the guy if only you admitted that everyone makes mistakes; you included. It was a mistake to treat him so coldly."

"I know what would end up happening if I was close to him."

"So you could actually rape someone?" He raised an eyebrow. And, with that, reminded me that while I might want someone, might kiss them if they're standing there asking for it, I wouldn't force anyone into something and if something shouldn't happen, it wouldn't happen.

He saw that thought in my eyes and his smile softened, waiting, waiting for me to speak. But I'd wait until hell froze over before I admitted he was right and I had over reacted like a stupid child.

Finally, he gave up, his hand on my cheek moving to push my hair behind my ear and cup the back of my head, drawing me closer to him so that he could kiss me. It was a deep kiss, an exploratory kiss, and every minute of it was pure bliss.

"Would you let me… comfort you?" he asked, his voice thicker than usual, his eyes mischievous with a promise that made shivers run up and down my spine.

"My room," I muttered, and he smirked, releasing me. After a moment, I realised he wanted me to lead the way, and I did, feeling a little apprehensive; not because I was about to get fucked, that was nothing. I'd been fucked before, but never by someone who mattered, never by someone who meant anything to me, and never by anyone who confused me like Seifer did.

I took my time walking to my bedroom, trying to evaluate this properly; decide what might happen because of it. I couldn't concentrate properly, with him walking just behind me, knowing what was going to happen. That bothered me; I'd never lost my cool before, unless it was in a fight.

In the end, I just decided to go for it.

It wasn't slow, it wasn't making love; we were going to fuck and the hurried pace to it said that clearly. I had my own shirt off in seconds and was undoing my pants almost before he'd shut the door. He was slower about it, his shirt on the floor moments after I'd sat down, naked on the bed to watch him strip.

Once naked, he took a step toward me, his smirk feral, like a hunting cat's. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you forget the guy entirely," he promised, smirking, from where he stood at the edge of the bed and then he pounced, pushing me backwards.

He was all over me, his hands, his mouth, demanding and giving and taking and leaving me senseless under his hands. It was ecstasy, and I hated every minute of it as much as I loved it, defenceless to what he was doing to me as I had never been defenceless to him before. And then…

He stopped, sitting up, and I sat up as well, fixing him with a puzzled, angry glare. Why did he stop?

He shook his head at me, "Squall, I'm sorry, but I don't fuck someone who doesn't want it."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, you obviously want it, physically, but in your head, I'm nothing but a substitute for your father. And I don't fuck people who are imagining someone else in my place." There was a dark look in his eyes; hurt? Or maybe just annoyed, I'd never known Seifer to be really… hurt.

But then, I'd never seen that look in his eyes before.

I didn't know how to tell him that it wasn't just Laguna – my father – I wanted, it was him as well. I didn't know how to tell him about all the little daydreams I might have had about him, I didn't know how to ask him to stay and fuck me even though I would be thinking about my father at the same time.

"Stay," I managed, softly, the only thing that would come out of my mouth as he got off the bed and reached for his pants.

He looked down at me, on the bed, still naked, still defenceless, and maybe he saw some of what I meant to say in my eyes. He sat down on the edge of the bed and said, warningly, "I won't fuck you."

I huffed, quietly, a tiny smile on my face, "Of course not, since you're suddenly Mr Sensitive. But you could at least stay and… help me, since you've got me here."

I couldn't believe I was actually asking him to stay, but the thought of being alone again was not a pleasant one at all and besides, I was fucking horny and it was entirely his fault.

He dropped his pants to the floor and lay down beside me, his hands on me again a pleasant, intoxicating warmth. "I can do that, princess."