Title: Above and Beyond the Call of Duty
Rating: K+
Setting: Season 6
Summary: Jonas, being Jonas.
A/N: Thanks so much for the feedback on the last couple of chapters - I really appreciate it. I'm glad other people found the idea of Jack and Teal'c in Pottery Barn as amusing as I did. This is the last short Compromising Position for the time being, but I've got two longer ones in early stages, and I'll probably start the next Birthday Traditions this weekend if I have time.
I know a lot of people don't like Jonas, but I love his upbeat, puppy-dog attitude. (Of course, I was still elated when Daniel returned.) Anyway, on with the story...
Compromising Positions: Above and Beyond the Call of Duty
Jack O'Neill stepped off the elevator onto level 28 and was immediately accosted by Jonas Quinn, who appeared out of nowhere with his usual big smile firmly in place.
"Good morning, Colonel O'Neill!" he said cheerfully. How was it possible for someone to be so cheerful so incredibly early in the morning? It was unnatural.
"Morning, Jonas..." He looked around for Carter, but Jonas was alone. Strange. He was almost always following Carter around, puppy-like.
"I wanted to ask you something," Jonas continued.
Jack eyed the coffee mug in Jonas's hand covetously and said, "Shoot."
Jonas looked confused for a moment. He was doing that blank smile thing he did to cover when he didn't get something Jack said. It was subtly different from his other smiles.
"It's just an expression. Go ahead. Ask away."
"Well... it's a favor."
"Let's hear it."
"A big favor."
"Jonas, tell me what it is already."
"Okay. Well, the thing is... I like someone."
That certainly got Jack's attention. "All right, I'm listening."
"Let's go to the lab so we're not overheard," Jonas said quietly, heading for Daniel's lab.
Jack had to appreciate the fact that even after months, Jonas still refrained from calling it his own lab, at least in front of Jack. "All right. You've got coffee in there, right?"
"Yes, absolutely."
"Good."
Ten minutes later, they were in Jonas's lab, Jack halfway through a pretty decent cup of coffee. Jonas closed the door, which slightly alarmed Jack. "What's up, Jonas?"
"Well, like I said, I like someone. And I'd really like to ask her out, but..."
"I don't think the General would have a problem with that, as long as she drives," Jack said.
"I... I wasn't talking about that, but that's a good point. Um, okay. The thing is... I don't know if she likes me back or not."
"Hmm, well in my experience, if she says yes she likes you, if she says no... not so much. Shouldn't you be talking to Carter about this?"
"I can't," Jonas said quickly. "I mean, I tried, but..."
Jack narrowed his eyes. Was he talking about Carter in the first place? Surely Jonas knew better than to go developing a crush on Carter. Then again, they did hang out a lot, but Jack always assumed it was because Carter didn't want him to feel left out. Hmm. Well, this was a problem.
"Jonas, you know how... risky... relationships with co-workers are, right? It doesn't just affect you, it affects the other people who work with you too..."
"How'd you know I was talking about a co-worker?" Jonas asked.
"Lucky guess. Who else are you gonna meet?"
"Oh, good point. Okay, well... are you saying I shouldn't ask her out then?"
"I just want you to think very carefully about the possible ramifications... especially if you aren't even sure if she likes you or not."
"When I brought this up with Major Carter she was all for it," Jonas said, puzzled.
"She was?"
"Well... yeah... but then I tried to get her to see if Lieutenant Rush might be interested and she called me a chickensh..."
Jack laughed loudly, suddenly relieved and unable to believe he had even entertained the thought in the first place... Carter and Jonas... Ha!
"What?" Jonas asked self-consciously.
"Nothing, nothing. Sorry, I just... didn't realize you were talking about Lieutenant Rush."
"Oh." Jonas studied him for a moment and said, "Do you even know who Lieutenant Rush is?"
"Well... no. Not exactly."
"She works in the infirmary. Blond hair... about this tall..."
"Oh."
"You still don't know, do you?"
"Sorry, Jonas. But why don't you ask her out and then introduce me to her once you hit it off?"
"So... wait, you've changed your mind then? You think it's a good idea now? What about the co-workers situation?"
"Well, this is a special circumstance though, because it's not like you're going to meet someone else... somewhere else. And you don't work together, really, you just work in the same building. I say go for it."
"I was hoping you'd say that," Jonas said, looking relieved. "There's another thing though... this is where the favor comes in."
"Sure, name it."
Jack realized, later, that it was at this point that he doomed himself. Unfortunately, at the time, he was so relieved that he wasn't going to have to deal with an awkward "Jonas likes Carter" situation that the words were out of his mouth before he could think about what he might be agreeing to.
Never, in a million years, would he have imagined Jonas saying the next thing that he said.
"Colonel O'Neill... can you teach me to dance?"
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Jack stared at Jonas, wondering if Carter had put him up to this, and she and Teal'c were watching on a security monitor somewhere laughing their asses off...
Unfortunately, Jonas looked way too sincere for that to be the case. Jack cleared his throat and said, "Um, Jonas, once again... shouldn't you be talking to Carter about this?"
"Major Carter can dance?" Jonas asked. "She's never mentioned it... she's already spent so much time teaching me things... lockpicking, and about the Stargate and all... I just thought maybe she'd want a break. Besides, she's really busy this week with that device SG17 brought back."
"All true, but... what makes you so sure I can dance?"
"Well... I don't need to be able to win a competition or anything, I just don't want to look like... well, like an alien. And besides, Dr. Fraiser told me you chaperoned one of Cassandra's dances a few years ago, and that you were a surprisingly good dancer."
"Did she now? Well, I'll have to kill her later," Jack muttered, scratching the back of his head and wincing. "Look, Jonas... if you don't know how to dance, why don't you just ask Lieutenant Rush to a movie or something?"
"Because, you can't talk or even look at each other at a movie. Besides, on all your television shows and movies, it seems like the date goes best when the people go dancing."
"Ohforcryinoutloud."
"Does that mean you will?" Jonas asked hopefully.
"All right... if I agree to this, Jonas, you cannot tell anyone about it. Especially Carter and Teal'c. Understood?"
"Of course."
"And we'll have to do it really late at night... in the gym, I guess, would be the best place. Okay, I'll meet you in there at one... bring Daniel's stereo and whatever CDs you can find."
"Thank you, Colonel O'Neill," Jonas said gratefully.
"Yeah, whatever," Jack muttered grumpily, heading off to breakfast. In the hallway, he looked around suspiciously, checking all the air ducts and corners of the ceiling. "Daniel, so help me, if you heard that you'd better keep it to yourself."
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Jack let himself into the gym, dressed in grey sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and his combat boots. Hey, they were steel-toed. He wasn't about to put himself in the position of having to explain broken or bruised toes to Fraiser.
Jonas was already there, looking through a handful of CDs. The area where the sparring mats were usually spread out was completely open, the mats folded up against the wall. "Hi, Colonel O'Neill. Thanks again for doing this."
"Yeah. Let's get this over with, huh?"
"I wasn't sure what kind of music..." Jonas started, handing the CDs over to Jack.
He started going through them and glanced at Jonas. "So there's no music or dancing on your planet?" he asked.
"No, there is, but... not like here. Major Carter and Dr. Fraiser both brought me a bunch of DVDs to watch, you know, after I'd read and seen everything in the base library, and... well, in all the ones I saw that had dancing, none of them were remotely like what we have on Kelowna."
"What movies did you watch?" Jack asked curiously.
"Well, my favorite was one called, 'Dirty Dancing.' Have you seen it?"
"Yes," Jack said grimly, making a mental note to find out which one of the two women had given that to Jonas and think of something horrible to do to them in return. "But... that kind of dancing is really... outdated now," he told Jonas. "So don't be expecting me to be lifting you up over my head or anything."
"Yes, sir."
"Okay, I guess this one will work." He reluctantly put the 'When Harry Met Sally' soundtrack into the stereo and pressed play as though he were triggering a bomb to detonate in his face.
"All right, um... I'll put my hands here... you put yours there... normally you might want to stand a little bit closer, but this is close enough for us. This way you can see what our feet are doing better."
"Okay."
"Okay, this isn't really that hard. Just... follow my lead."
"What?"
"Look, I'm going to step forward with my left foot, so you step backwards with your right foot. Get it?"
"Okay, yeah, that makes sense."
"Right. Let's just try it."
Jack took Jonas through several clumsy box steps, each one getting slightly better. He kept glancing around nervously, as though he still expected Teal'c and Carter, and possibly Fraiser and even Hammond, to burst in on them at any moment, screaming "Gotcha!"
"Colonel O'Neill?"
"What! Sorry, Jonas... what?"
"I was just asking if it matters which way you're facing...like right now I'm following your lead, right? So will Lieutenant Rush be standing where you are or where I am?"
"Oh! Well, usually it's the man who leads, but I thought it would be easier for me to show you like this first. After you get the hang of it we can try switching."
"This is going to take a while, isn't it?" Jonas asked.
"Nah, you're a fast learner..." Jack started. He grimaced as Jonas stepped forwards instead of backwards and stood on his foot. It didn't really hurt, because he was wearing his combat boots, but it did contradict what he had just said. "Okay, yeah, it might take a while."
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As much as Jack hated to admit it, it wasn't so bad teaching Jonas to dance. He still would never want anyone else to find out about it, of course, but Jonas was so appreciative of it, and so darn positive all the time, it was hard not to be a little bit flattered by his constant compliments and thank yous.
For the next couple of weeks (while they were on Earth, at least,) they snuck into the gym for about two hours every night. Jonas was a fast learner, there was no doubt about that, but that was more... a mental thing. Body-movement wise, he was slightly worse than Daniel, who had really only started to be quite a good soldier after about five years of training and heavy combat situations. So Jack did have his work cut out for him.
Nevertheless, Jonas was making steady progress. He could do the foxtrot now, and Jack had even taught him a few basic meringue and cha cha steps. Jonas wanted to learn a little bit of everything, but so far Jack hadn't dared try to teach him any waltzes or tangoes. And he was plain afraid to try the jitterbug – Jonas would probably break his back.
Jack idly wondered one night, as he cha-cha-ed around the gym with Jonas, who was still counting under his breath, what his ex-wife would think if she could see how he was using all those dance classes she had made him take with her for their wedding. He highly doubted Sarah had ever envisioned him spending the wee small hours of his mornings dancing round weight-lifting equipment with an alien.
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"Hey, Teal'c," Sam said as she sat down opposite Teal'c with her breakfast tray.
"Good morning, Major Carter. Did you sleep well?"
"I did, thank you. Teal'c, I was wondering... have you noticed anything... strange... about the Colonel and Jonas lately?"
"To what are you referring?"
"Well... I don't know. The Colonel seems really tired, but Jonas seems even... perkier... than ever. And Jonas used to kind of... well, follow me around a lot. On the base. Asking questions about everything. He still does it, but not as much."
"Perhaps he is just running out of things to ask you. He has been here for some time now."
"True..." She stopped talking as their CO joined them, sitting down across from her, next to Teal'c.
"Morning, kids."
"Greetings, O'Neill."
"Hi, sir..." Sam watched as he poured his milk into his Froot Loops and asked, "Colonel, are you feeling okay?"
"Sure, why?"
"No reason, we just thought you might be looking kind of... tired... lately. Sir," she said carefully.
He looked up at her quickly, but put on a blank face almost immediately. "Nope. Slept like a baby last night, Carter. You, on the other hand, were still in your lab at three in the morning, according to the security guard I spoke to this morning."
He really only did it to change the subject, and it worked. Looking sheepish, she mumbled something about being in the middle of some diagnostic program or other, and turned her attention back to her breakfast.
Jonas joined them, with his breakfast tray almost as full as Teal'c's. He sat down next to Sam and smiled at everyone as they all greeted him.
"Jonas Quinn, are you still prepared to watch the original 'Star Wars' trilogy in my quarters tonight?" Teal'c asked.
"Uh... actually... Teal'c, would it be okay if we did that another night? I'm kind of... tired."
"As you wish," Teal'c said, but Sam could tell he was disappointed. The big guy did love his Star Wars. And it wasn't like Jonas to pass up... well, anything. Especially anything new.
She looked back and forth between Jonas and Colonel O'Neill carefully. By the time breakfast was over, her CO had consumed more coffee than she had. The only person who ever did that was Daniel. He caught her scrutinizing him and she quickly looked back down at her tray, pushing a few remaining eggs around with her spoon for something to do.
A few minutes later, he excused himself, citing 'lots of paperwork,' as his excuse. Sam looked at Teal'c automatically when he said that. Teal'c, too, was now looking suspicious, his eyebrow raised minutely.
"Jonas, you don't seem very tired," Sam started, determined to try to get information out of him. "If anything, you've seemed even more energetic than usual lately."
"Really? Hmm. Maybe I'm more energetic during the day because I'm getting more sleep at night," he suggested.
"It's too bad that you're too tired to watch Star Wars tonight. I was going to join you guys... I brought popcorn and everything."
"Popcorn?"
"Yup. Something new for you to try." Jonas loved to try new food. This was a bit risky - if he took her up on it she'd have to run out at lunch and buy some popcorn, or convince some Airman to do it for her. Sam gave Teal'c a look and he took the hint.
"Popcorn is a most enjoyable snack food, Jonas Quinn. The Tau'ri seem to think it goes particularly well with feature films."
"That sounds... great. Really. But I... I can't," he said quickly, getting up with his tray even though he clearly hadn't finished eating yet. "Sorry, I've... got a lot of work to do this morning."
He hurried out of the commissary. After watching him go, Sam turned to Teal'c. "Something is definitely up."
"I concur, Major Carter. I have never known Jonas Quinn to leave food on his plate."
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"No, Jonas, quarter turn at 9:00, not 11!" Jack corrected.
"Sorry, sorry. This one is really hard."
"You're doing fine," Jack encouraged, patting him on the shoulder, since his hand was there anyway. "Hey, do you think Carter and Teal'c are getting suspicious?"
"Can't talk, counting," Jonas said in between counting and looking at his feet.
Jack rolled his eyes.
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Sam was stretched out on her stomach with a pillow, on the floor of Teal'c's quarters. She had felt bad that Jonas 'stood him up' for their Star Wars date, so she was watching it with him instead. She sat up as 'A New Hope' ended and turned to Teal'c, who didn't allow talking during the films unless it was Star Wars-related.
"Teal'c, let's go see if the Colonel and Jonas are in their quarters or not. Just to see."
"Very well, Major Carter," Teal'c agreed.
They checked on Jonas first, as his quarters were across the hall from Teal'c's. He didn't answer the door.
"Perhaps he is sleeping," Teal'c suggested.
"I would think he'd wake up..." Sam said, knocking once more. No response. "Let's go try Colonel O'Neill."
He wasn't there either. "Perhaps O'Neill has simply gone home for the night," Teal'c suggested.
"We've got a 7 am briefing though, that wouldn't be like the Colonel," Sam muttered. "Let's go check the security room."
Teal'c followed her, amused. He personally was not very interested in where either O'Neill or Jonas Quinn was at this hour of the night. But it was clearly an intriguing mystery to Major Carter, so he went along nevertheless.
"Hi guys," Sam said as she and Teal'c let themselves into the overnight security guard's room. The Airmen, a lieutenant and sergeant, stood to attention immediately. "At ease. I just had a question for you..."
"What is it, Major?" Sergeant Jones asked.
"Have you by any chance noticed Jonas Quinn or Colonel O'Neill... doing anything at night lately? Out of the ordinary?"
"Actually, we have," Lieutenant Byers said quickly.
"Really?" Sam asked, trying to sound casual and professional. "What have you noticed?"
"Well, nearly every night for the past couple of weeks they've been hitting the gym around one or two in the morning, for a couple of hours. As you know, non-essential areas like that are only monitored constantly in the hallways. I can pull up the camera in the gym if you'd like, ma'am."
"No, thank you Lieutenant," she said quickly. "That won't be necessary."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Have a good night."
"Yes, ma'am," they both repeated. She and Teal'c left.
Once in the hall, Teal'c said, "Most likely O'Neill is doing further training with Jonas Quinn."
"Most likely," Sam repeated absently. "Although... Teal'c, wouldn't you think if Jonas wanted more training he'd ask one of us? I mean, I'd assume he'd come to you first, but if he wanted Air Force techniques... wouldn't you think he would ask me? I mean, I've already taught him lots of things..."
"Perhaps he asked O'Neill as an opportunity to 'bond' with him."
"Maybe," Sam said doubtfully. "But can you really see Colonel O'Neill giving up sleep to teach Jonas something he could just as easily order me to do?"
"Good point, Major Carter. Are you suggesting we 'drop in' on them?"
"Yes, I am, Teal'c. Let's go."
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Jack and Jonas were concentrating so hard on the complicated open flair they were trying to do that between that and the music they didn't notice Sam and Teal'c slip quietly into the mostly darkened gym.
Sam and Teal'c, whatever they had been expecting to find, had most certainly not expected to find their CO and newest alien friend doing the tango. Sam watched them in shocked silence; clearly they had been practicing this for some time.
Teal'c said quietly, "This is most disturbing."
Sam shushed him and they waited until the song ended, then burst into loud applause.
Jack and Jonas froze and looked over at their two teammates, who were clapping loudly for them. Jonas grinned and took a bow. Jack groaned and hit him lightly in the back of the head as Sam and Teal'c came over, both of them grinning from ear to ear.
"O'Neill, you never offered me such instruction when I came to your planet," Teal'c said, pretending to be offended.
"Oh shut up, T," Jack muttered, his cheeks turning pink. "This isn't what it looks like. See, Jonas here has a crush on Lieutenant Rush and..."
"You still haven't asked her out?" Sam asked Jonas incredulously. "Geez, Jonas, quit being such a..."
"You see?" Jonas demanded, pointing at Sam but looking at Jack, who nodded.
"I don't blame you, Jonas," Jack said, patting the man on the back sympathetically and mock-glaring at his 2IC. "He was forced to come to me after your unhelpful attitude towards his relationship with our dear Lieutenant Rush, Carter. So technically, this is all your fault."
Sam rolled her eyes. "You don't even know who Lieutenant Rush is, Colonel."
"Sure, she works in the infirmary. She's the one Jonas likes... about this tall, brown hair..."
"Blonde," Jonas, Sam, and Teal'c all corrected.
"Right," Jack said. "Anyway. Jonas here needed someone to teach him how to dance, and that's all there is to it. And should you happen to mention this to your little friend with the needles, Carter..." he started.
"Yes, sir." Suddenly, she started laughing, and he doubted even a direct order would have been enough to get her to stop. Even Teal'c joined in.
Jack glared at Teal'c. "This you find funny, but you sit through 'Austin Powers' without cracking a smile?" he demanded.
"Um, Colonel, maybe now that Major Carter is here..." Jonas suggested when the laughter had died down.
"Oh, good idea, Jonas. Carter, come over here and let Jonas dip you."
"Sir?"
"Come on, we tried it once and I almost ended up in traction. And Jonas is finally getting good enough to dance with a woman, so come on."
Sam sighed and joined them on the 'dance floor.' Jack put his hands on her shoulders from behind and wheeled her into position facing Jonas. "Now, Jonas, watch her toes because she doesn't have boots on," Jack admonished, patting Sam's shoulder and stepping away, going over to the stereo to start the CD again.
Jonas smiled sheepishly at her and put a hand on her shoulder awkwardly.
"Jonas! You're leading now, remember?" Jack corrected.
"Oh, right! Sorry, Major Carter..." He moved his hands and looked over at Jack with an 'Is this right?' look on his face. Jack gave him a thumbs up and pressed Play.
"Good grief," Sam muttered as the music started.
She felt very self-conscious about dancing round the gym with her CO and Teal'c watching every move she and Jonas made, but quickly realized that they were probably all paying much more attention to Jonas, who actually wasn't doing all that badly, after a bit of a rocky adjustment to leading rather than following. He only stood on her foot once.
"O'Neill, it would appear you are a most successful dance instructor," Teal'c commented.
Sam snorted, and called, "Yes, sir, are you planning a second career after you retire?"
Unfortunately, the remark was paid back not by her CO's sarcastic response (and she knew he probably had one,) but by the fact that at that moment, Jonas tried to dip her. Somehow in the process she slipped right out of his arms and landed hard, on her bum, on the concrete floor of the gym.
"Ouch," she muttered among Jonas's vehement apologies.
Jack hooked his arms under hers and pulled her up to her feet from behind, brushing her off. "She's okay, aren't you, Carter?"
"Y-yes."
"That was all right, Jonas, good try, but this time try hanging onto her, okay?"
"I'm sorry, Colonel, I don't know what happened!" Jonas apologized again.
"It's okay, it just takes practice. Try again. Back on the horse and all that..." Sam shot him a glare over her shoulder. "Sorry, Carter."
"O'Neill, maybe we should spread out the sparring mats," Teal'c suggested.
"Nah, those'll just trip them up. Come on, Jonas..."
He looked scared now, and was reluctant even to touch Sam again.
"Perhaps you should show him the proper way to dip Major Carter, O'Neill," Teal'c suggested helpfully. "You have much more experience in the matter, after all," he added innocently.
Jack looked at Teal'c sharply. The carefully blank look on the man's face told him that yes, as a matter of fact, Teal'c was referring to the time-loop 'incident.'
"That would be really helpful, Colonel O'Neill," Jonas agreed, stepping out of the way and ushering Jack into place in front of Sam. He started the CD again before either of them could object further. They had no choice but to roll their eyes and start dancing.
To make it less awkward (for herself mainly,) Sam started talking while they danced. "So, this is what you guys have been up to. I never would have guessed..."
"Yeah, well... when we started a couple of weeks ago, you were busy, and Jonas didn't want to bother you."
"Lucky me. He's okay now, but he must have been scary two weeks ago."
"Yeah. He showed me the Kelownan version of dancing one night... I'm still having nightmares about it."
She laughed. "What did Teal'c mean before?"
"What? Oh, I guess just that I have more experience dancing than Jonas does."
"Hmm." She knew that wasn't it, based on the way he had looked at Teal'c when he had first spoken, and the way he was avoiding looking at her now.
"This is all your fault anyway, for exposing his impressionable young mind to movies like 'Dirty Dancing,'" Jack accused, dipping her and freezing, turning his attention to Jonas. "See? This is the part where you don't drop her on the floor."
"Got it," Jonas said.
"Jonas loved that movie," Sam said as he brought her upright again.
"Exactly."
"Well, Janet's the one who brought 'Footloose,'" Sam defended herself.
Jack groaned. "Great. You know, between the two of you, and Teal'c showing him every sci-fi movie ever made, it's no wonder the poor boy came running to me."
Jonas called, "Colonel O'Neill, since Major Carter's here can you show me that thing from Pulp Fiction?"
Jack looked at Sam sheepishly. She raised an eyebrow, Teal'c-style. "Yeah, we're the only bad influences on him. How much of that movie did you have to explain to him?"
"Too much of it," Jack muttered, dipping her once more at a normal speed as the song ended, so Jonas could see what it was supposed to look like.
"There. See? Nobody falls down at the end. Now, get over here and try it," he called to Jonas. He glanced back at Sam and said, "You're a good dancer, Major. I don't remember that being in your file."
He joined Teal'c by the CD player before she could retort that it wasn't in his file either. Teal'c started the CD again and Jonas and Sam started dancing. This time, Jack circled around them, making suggestions to Jonas and hovering in case Jonas dropped his 2IC again. Luckily, this time, he got it much better. It was still rather awkward, but at least nobody got hurt.
A few more tries and Jonas had improved remarkably. "It's a lot easier dancing with you," Jonas commented, flashing Sam a big, toothy smile. "But Colonel O'Neill is a great teacher. He's been so patient."
"There, Jonas, I think you've got it," Jack said as the song ended again.
"Great! Thanks everybody, I really appreciate it."
"Sure," Sam said.
Jack started to gather up the CDs and everything when Jonas said, "Um, Colonel O'Neill? Maybe since Major Carter's here and all... well... could we try swing dancing?"
Jack took a deep breath. He knew that Jonas really, really wanted to learn to swing dance, but it wasn't exactly an easy thing for two men to do together. "Yeah, okay. If Carter's up for it." He turned to look at her.
She shrugged. "Why not?"
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General Hammond made his early-morning trip to the overnight security boys, to ensure that nothing had happened during the night. He stopped outside the open door to their small room. It was packed full of people, laughing and joking loudly. Some of them even had food and drinks in their hands.
He pushed his way through them. Many were so interested in whatever they were looking at, George quickly ascertained that it was something on the monitors, that they didn't even stand to attention when they saw him.
"What's going on in here?" he finally demanded.
The room grew instantly silent. Finally, Sergeant Jones said, "Sorry, General, sir. We were just... monitoring the gym."
"And what, may I ask, is in the gym that is so entertaining?"
"SG-1," the entire room chorused.
Hammond pushed his way over to one of the monitors and froze. His flagship team was... doing the jitterbug?
"They're teaching Jonas, sir," Lieutenant Byers explained, turning the audio up again.
Tinny music filtered in, as well as Jack O'Neill exclaiming, "NO, Jonas! Not like that, move!"
Hammond watched as Jonas Quinn and O'Neill traded places, and O'Neill and Carter continued dancing. "There, see? Try it with Teal'c."
"Oh good Lord," Hammond said under his breath as his two resident aliens began dancing.
"They finally got Teal'c to help out about an hour ago... and he's better than all of them, for some reason," Jones supplied.
"Yes, sir, in fact, he and Major Carter would be pretty hard to beat in a competition," someone else supplied.
"They're all just... in there dancing with each other?"
"Oh yes, sir. See, at first it was just Colonel O'Neill and Jonas..."
Hammond tuned out the barrage of explanations and comments that started pouring out, watching his team on the little monitor. "My life is so weird," he muttered finally as SG1 suddenly realized it was after five o'clock and hurriedly started packing up their things to leave the gym before anyone showed up for an early morning workout. "All right, people, let's break this up - everyone back to work."
As soon as the room emptied, Hammond turned to the boys still in their chairs. "When they're finished, I want three copies of that tape, plus the original," he ordered.
"Yes, sir," they both said. Hammond nodded and left them alone, shaking his head.
If it wasn't one thing with SG1, it was another... swing dancing in the gym! The President was going to love this one! And Jacob and Selmak would get a big kick out of it too... he made a note to check if the Tok'ra had a VCR before sending it to him. Maybe he should wait until Jake dropped by... Thor on the other hand... Thor would want to see this ASAP.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
SG-1 was nervous as they waited for General Hammond to arrive for their morning briefing. They were all exhausted after not getting any sleep and dancing all night long, and worried that Hammond would notice, demand to be filled in, and then let them all have it. Perhaps it was a bit paranoid, but Hammond always knew everything that was happening on his base.
"You know, it's not like we did anything wrong," Jack pointed out.
"That's true, sir, but I doubt the Air Force has ever seen the need to make a rule about dancing on base..." Sam supplied. "It probably falls under unprofessional conduct though."
"Very helpful, Carter, thank you," Jack said sarcastically.
"I'm sure General Hammond will understand," Jonas said, feeling bad that he was responsible for the potential embarrassment of the whole team, especially after Colonel O'Neill had been so patient with him.
Hammond entered and gave them his usual greeting. Jack spent the entire meeting that followed completely tuning out everything Hammond and Carter said, trying to figure out if Hammond knew what was going on or not. The man had a poker face like nobody Jack had ever known. Even better than Teal'c, when he wanted to use it.
Just as Jack had decided that Hammond probably hadn't found out about the incident yet, he realized they had been dismissed. The rest of his team was leaving as quickly as they could without drawing too much attention to themselves. Jack got up quickly to follow them. He had just reached Carter at the door when Hammond said, "Oh, Colonel, Major, one more thing."
"Yes, sir?" they both asked, turning back to face the General.
"You leave bright and early tomorrow morning," he deadpanned. "Make sure you wake me up before you go-go."
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Sam yelped as Janet jerked her by the elbow into her office and slammed the door shut. "What's going on, Janet?" Sam demanded, concealing a yawn.
"Tired?" Janet asked suggestively.
"Yeah... why? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Rough night?" Janet pressed.
"Kind of... I didn't get much sleep."
"I know that. The entire base knows that, as a matter of fact."
"What?" Sam asked, a hint of alarm creeping into her voice.
"Sam, take a look at what's been circling the base all day..." Janet opened the file she had been e-mailed that morning and waited.
Sam's eyes widened. "Oh God!" She picked up Janet's phone and called Jonas, telling him to get Teal'c and the Colonel and come to the infirmary ASAP.
When the rest of SG1 arrived, they showed them the footage and Janet explained how it had come into her possession. "Ohfercryinoutloud," Jack groaned. "You know, you try to do a favor for somebody and..."
"I'm really sorry, Colonel," Jonas apologized immediately.
"Ma'am, here's the blood-work from SG5 you requested," a nurse said, entering the crowded office quickly and handing her a stack of files.
"Thank you, Lieutenant Rush," Janet said.
Jack's eyes widened and he looked at Jonas, who looked scared suddenly and shook his head, mouthing, "No!"
Jack's eyes were twinkling dangerously. "Lieutenant Rush, nice to see you!" he said loudly.
The nurse looked at him, looking mildly scared. She looked round at everyone in the crowded room, her eyes settling on the video still playing in the background for a few seconds too long. Jack could tell she had already seen it. Hey, he hadn't done all this for nothing...
"So, I see you've seen our instructional video," he commented.
"Y...yes, sir, I've seen it..."
"Do you like to dance, Rush?"
"I guess, sir, sure, I mean..." It was hard to say who looked more scared, Lieutenant Rush or Jonas.
"Good, that's good, because Jonas here... OW! Dammit, Carter!" She had poked him in the ribs rather hard.
"Sorry, sir," she said automatically, her tone indicating that was slightly less than actually true.
"Well, I'm not! I didn't do all that dancing for nothing! Look, Lieutenant, Jonas was looking for someone to go dancing with this Saturday night, and he was hoping you're available," Jack said quickly.
"Oh!" Lieutenant Rush blushed and looked at Jonas, who was looking beyond terrified but managed to give her a weak smile nonetheless. "Well I... I mean... sure. That would be nice."
"Great!" Jack said quickly. "He'll meet you on the surface at eight, he's really looking forward to it."
She smiled sheepishly at Jonas and said, "Me too," before hurrying away.
Everyone stared at Jack for several seconds after she had gone. Then Jonas suddenly launched himself at Jack, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Colonel O'Neill!"
Jack stood stock-still for several moments and finally patted Jonas awkwardly on the back. "Sure. Glad I could help you out there, Jonas..."
When several more moments passed and Jonas still hadn't let go of him, Jack turned to Sam. "Carter, get him off me," he ordered.
"Come on, Jonas, let's go figure out what you're going to wear," Sam said gently, putting a hand on his arm.
She led Jonas away, leaving Jack alone with Teal'c and Fraiser, who were both looking at him with expressions of disbelief on their faces. "What, the kid needed some help," Jack said defensively. He crossed his arms and said, "Come on, T. Let's go eat."
Teal'c decided to have a little fun of his own. "As you wish, O'Neill. Speaking of food, I was wondering... would you be willing to give me cooking instructions?"
As they left Dr. Fraiser in giggles, Jack asked, "Was that a joke?"
"Perhaps."
Jack groaned. "None of this was in the job description."