The week before Christmas, Dubenko met his daughter at the baggage claim and greeted her with a hug. "I've missed you."
"Of course you have, Papa. I'm just that wonderful." She returned his hug and smiled up at him.
"How was your flight?"
"Great, if you like lots of turbulence and sitting next to some crazy nut who thought we were all going to die any minute. I really enjoyed the way he kept talking about a fiery demise and the smell of burning flesh."
"Ah. Um—" Dubenko really had no reply for that one.
"Yeah. Oh hey, there's my bag." She squeezed through the crowd and snagged her luggage off the turnstile.
On their way to his car, Dubenko fiddled with the identification tag on Sophie's bag. He had hefted the large tote over his shoulder since it was apparently too heavy for his daughter to carry without listing to one side.
"Just what do you have in here, Sophie Monster?"
"A few bricks, Hoffa's body, a small African country. You know, the usual. And don't call me that, I hate it, Papa."
"Um, I was wondering about something Soph—"
"I chopped it up into pieces."
"What?" Dubenko looked at his daughter with a perplexed expression on his face.
"Hoffa's body, that's how I got it into the bag." She winked. "Can I drive?"
"No. I was wondering how you'd feel about Allison joining us for Christmas. I actually have the day off and I thought it would be nice to—"
"Yeah, whatever." She waved her hand dismissively and got in the car.
Sophia Dubenko was furious. How dare he invite that…that girl to spend Christmas with us? I don't want to make nice with some bimbo that is all of two minutes older than I am, just because my father finally decided he wants to have something warm up his bed at night. Ugh, I don't even want to think about that. Gross. Great, now I'm going to be wandering around with that mental image etched in my brain.
"I need bleach. And a scrub brush," Sophie muttered to no one in particular.
"What, Soph?"
"Nothing, Papa. So when do I get to meet this Ashley person, anyway? Or are you planning to gift wrap her and stick her under the tree until Christmas morning?"
"Allison. And I thought we'd have dinner tonight. She's meeting us at the house."
"Oh, great!" Sophie answered emphatically.
"Don't be such a smart ass. And drop the attitude."
As he drove back to the house, Dubenko occasionally glanced at his daughter. The fact that she was being so silent bothered him. Normally Sophie talked nonstop. "So, um, where would you like to go for dinner?"
"Oh, I don't know. Ike Ryan's has really good burgers or so I've been told." She glared at him.
Fantastic. This is going to be a long night. Why did I expect this to go smoothly? I told Allie this was a bad idea. Sophie's in a mood and that never bodes well. Nothing like introducing your girlfriend to your daughter for the first time and knowing there's a distinct possibility that she may eat your girlfriend for dinner.
"I was thinking about something a little nicer, Sophia. Italian, okay?"
"Is that what Alice likes?"
"Allison. And since when do you not like Italian?" He refused to get angry with her over her insistence on getting Allie's name wrong.
"Too many carbs. Atkins, yada yada. Got to watch my girlish figure."
"Don't be absurd. There is no reason for you to be on such an asinine diet. Do you have any idea what kind of damage you can do to your kidneys by maintaining that level of ketoses?"
"I don't need a lecture. I was kidding. You know, joke? Ha ha, funny? It is so easy to get your goat sometimes."
"Then why do you do it, Sophia?"
"Because I can."
"Monster."
"You love me."
Allison was sitting on the front steps when Dubenko pulled into the driveway. Well, this should be amusing. Just as much fun as trying to intubate yourself. In the dark. With one hand tied behind your back. He smiled at her as the redhead walked towards the car.
"Hi, handsome. Hello, Sophie." Allison smiled warmly. "How was your flight?"
"Hi yourself, Amber." Sophie returned Allie's smile with a syrupy sweet one of her own.
Dubenko glared at his daughter and spoke under his breath, "Stop it, Sophia Marie."
Allison shrugged, nonplussed. "It's Allison, actually. Or Allie."
"My mistake. So sorry." Sophie didn't bother to keep the contempt out of her voice.
"Soph, why don't you let Allie sit up front?" His tone let her know that it was not a request.
If the drive to the restaurant was painful, dinner could only be described as excruciating. Sophie went out of her way to make Dubenko uncomfortable. He knew that she was less than thrilled with the fact that he was dating someone so close to her own age. He knew his daughter had a temper and a mean streak. He even knew her propensity to act incredibly immature at times. However, he never expected her to display every last one of her undesirable traits in one fell swoop.
As they were seated and the waiter asked for their drink orders. Sophie leaned over and grinned at Allison. "Hey cool, they have a children's menu! I bet if we ask nicely they'll even give us a couple of crayons."
Allison ignored the jibe and looked questioningly at Dubenko. "So, guess what fun and excitement you missed at the hospital today?"
"Public health officials finally condemned the building?" The sanitation situation still had not been cleared up. The ongoing problem was frustrating to more than one department.
"Like we're that lucky. No. Guess again."
Sophie piped up with a sneer, "There's a problem with physicians trolling for dates in the nursery?"
Dubenko was tempted to kick the teenager under the table to get her to be quiet. "Sophia, what is the matter with you?"
"Nothing. I'm fine. I was just guessing. Sorry for intruding on what is apparently a private conversation. Maybe you'd like me to sit at another table so I don't ruin your date, Papa."
Thankfully, the waiter reappeared to take their orders. "And what can I get you and your lovely daughters this evening?" The waiter addressed Dubenko but was smiling at Sophia.
"Oh, no, I'm an only child." Then, indicating Allison with a nod of her head and speaking softly to the waiter, "She's just his midlife crisis."
Dubenko gritted his teeth and shot an icy look at Sophie before ordering for himself and Allison, who had turned quite red with embarrassment. I never thought I'd be a proponent for post term abortion, but Sophie is really starting to make a case for it. I won't blame Allison if she never speaks to me again.
As if by unspoken agreement, Dubenko and Allison simply opted to ignore the curly haired teen for the remainder of the meal. They conversed quietly with each other and occasionally held hands under the table. He was too angry to fidget and too concerned with salvaging his chances with Allie to suggest ending the dinner early.
For her part, Sophie simply pushed food around her plate and sent disgusted looks across the table. She was further put into her foul mood by the fact that she could find nothing about Allison to actually complain about. She seemed nice, smart and totally taken with her father. Sophie hated her.
Allison was standing in the Dubenko kitchen waiting for Lee. She had agreed to pick up the long-haired doctor so that Sophie could have his car for the day. The lab tech was scanning the morning paper when the younger Dubenko wandered into the room.
"Morning Abby!" Sophie didn't even bother to make eye contact as she went straight to the refrigerator.
"Allie. My name is Allie," she muttered, trying to keep the agitation out of her voice.
"Allie, Abby…you both work at the hospital, he's taken you both out to dinner. What's the difference?" Sophie brushed past Allison to retrieve a spoon for her yogurt.
"What?" Allison stared wide-eyed at the pajama-clad teen.
"Hmm? Oh, sorry. I thought you knew about that. My mistake." Sophie smiled sheepishly at the red head.
Allison continued to stare at Sophie as the younger girl ate her breakfast. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, I'm sure it was nothing. Papa asked her to work on a paper with him, something for publication purposes. It turned into dinner…hey, weren't you helping him with some research thing when he asked you out the first time, too? Not very original, is he? Anyway, Abby, Dr. Lockhart, she's that really pretty brunette that works in the ER and Papa has really taken a shine to her. I think because she reminds him so much of my mother." She paused for a moment as if in serious thought, then leaned on the counter towards Allison in a conspiratorial manner. "For a while there every conversation I had with him was Abby this and Abby that. Kind of funny that he never really talked about you that way. Then again, you know how Papa is, kind of scatter-brained when it comes to the trivial things in life."
Sophie heard the sounds of her father walking down the stairs and turned to leave the room. "See you later, Alice. There's a hot shower with my name on it."
Allison stood there with a shocked expression on her face, her mind reeling as she listened to father and daughter exchange greetings in the hallway. Dubenko absently kissed her on the cheek when he entered the kitchen.
"Morning, Chapman. Are you ready to go?" He was searching around for his wallet and hadn't bothered to look at her face. Finding it tossed in with the previous day's mail, he slipped the leather billfold into his back pants pocket and looked expectantly at his girlfriend.
She blinked and picked up her keys wordlessly and walked to the front door, leaving Dubenko no choice but to hurry after her.
"Allie?" he queried. "What's the matter? You don't look like you feel well." His soothing tones seemed to fall on deaf ears as she ignored him.
Once they were in the car and well on their way to the hospital, Allison glanced sideways at the surgeon and quietly asked, "How long are you planning on playing games with me, Dr. Dubenko?"
"Playing…wait, what? Since when are we on formal terms here, Allison? Have I done something to upset you?" He began to fidget with his identification badge as he spoke, the nervous habit belying his dismay and confusion.
"When were you planning on telling me about Dr. Lockhart? Are you two planning on publishing any more papers together? What, is that some sort of twisted academic metaphor for screwing each other? Is that why you have had zero interest in getting me in bed? God, no wonder she had such a lovely opinion of you when we were at Ike's!" As she spoke her voice rose until she was nearly shouting.
Dubenko stared at her, horror stricken. He tried to speak, lips moving, but no words would come. What in God's name is she talking about? Where did she ever get the idea that Lockhart and I were…his thoughts trailed off as he realized that Sophie had been in a very chipper mood when she had greeted him that morning. She wasn't a morning person by nature; in fact she was usually downright surly when she first woke up. The little wretch; what the hell has gotten into her? I swear if she's said something to Allie…You'll what? Strangle her? Nice, Lee. He sighed.
Unfortunately, Allison seemed to interpret this as an admission of guilt on his part. "You know, now I know where Sophie gets it from. I thought she was just having a hard time adjusting to you dating again. Guess I was wrong. I didn't know cruelty was an inherited trait. Maybe we should write a paper about that, what do you think, doctor?"
"Allison—"
"Save it."
"Allie—"
"I don't really want to talk to you right now, okay? I just want to get to work because the sooner I do that, the sooner this goddamned day will be over."
"Will you please—"
"I'm not listening—"
"Let me speak without—"
"To you."
"Allison, be reasonable—"
"Not listening—"
"How mature of you." Irritation was evident in Dubenko's tone.
"You shouldn't be surprised, seeing as how you are dating someone young enough to be your daughter." Her tone was bitter as she snapped back at him.
"Not so long ago you said our age difference wasn't an issue. Should you ever wish to start listening to me and carry on a conversation like an adult, you can certainly feel free to inform me if that has changed of late." He couldn't quite disguise his fear that she'd confirm that accusation.
"I thought it wasn't an issue, but obviously it is, isn't it? What was it that Sophie called me? Your midlife crisis?" She turned her head to glare at him briefly.
"Contrary to what she may believe, my daughter does not know what she's talking about."
"She seemed pretty damned sure of what she was saying this morning, Lee." Allison's hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, her knuckles almost white.
"I don't know what she said to you before I came downstairs, but Allison, it doesn't matter."
"It matters to me. Dammit, I can't fight with you and drive at the same time." At this, Allison pulled over to the side of the road and turned to face him.
"I don't particularly enjoy arguing with you either. I resent the fact that you think I'm playing games here or that I'd intentionally hurt you. I thought you knew me better than that." It was Dubenko's turn to sound hurt.
"I thought I did too, but I was obviously mistaken. How many other women have you gotten to go out with you under the guise of doing research or publishing a paper with you? Enlighten me, I'm really curious."
"I…Allison…" He sighed, closing his eyes and hanging his head before continuing in a soft voice. "I'm sorry if I'm not the most socially adept man, Allison. I never have been. I know research and I know how to write a publishable paper, people…women, not so much."
"What about Dr. Lockhart?"
"There is nothing, has never been anything, going on between Lockhart and I. We had dinner together once, and yes to write up a case. It was a miserable evening for more than a few reasons. End of story."
"But why would Sophie say otherwise?" She searched his face, frowning as she watched a myriad of emotions at play on his features.
"I could hazard a few guesses. I know my daughter. I may seem oblivious to things a lot of the time, but I'm not. Sophie may look like me; may be just as bright in some respects, but she is a lot like her mother as well. She has the same knack for reading people that Marti had. She just seems to know what makes them tick, or what sets them off. I think she knew just what to say to you to press your buttons, Allie, and while she may not have lied to you, she definitely exaggerated. I'm not making excuses for her, believe me she and I are going to have more than a few words this evening…but I can't let all the blame fall on her either."
"So this is my fault?" Allison's eyes flashed with anger and she bristled at the thought that he was blaming her.
"No, it's mine." Dubenko sounded weary, almost defeated. "I'm sure you've noticed that Sophie is somewhat protective of her relationship with me. Territorial may be a better term. We've always been close, and after my wife died, when I wasn't being a complete miserable wreck and shirking my parental responsibilities, we coped with the loss by clinging to each other. For the longest time she was my only confidant. Still is in some regards. I don't have to explain to her what it was like losing Marti, she knows."
He paused, swallowed hard and looked at Allison intently, his hazel eyes filled with pain both old and new. "My little girl has been through hell and back, seen things no child should ever have to see and still turned out relatively well adjusted. No thanks to me, I assure you. I'm not proud of that, and I can't help but sometimes think that had I been there for her the way I should have been that she just might be a little less hostile about things now. I'm sorry, Allie. I know you didn't ask for any of this."
"Lee, I…oh hell." She didn't know what to say.
"You have every right to be angry, I don't blame you. I don't blame you for being angry at Sophie and I definitely don't fault you for being upset with me." Dubenko was once more staring at his hands as he spoke, not wanting to look at his companion. "I just want you to know that I'd never do something like that, to you or anyone else. Think ill of me for being a lousy parent, a socially stunted geek, but please don't think that I'd see another woman behind your back or play those sorts of games, Allie."
She just stared at him as the forlorn doctor slumped in his seat and looked out the window. "Lee, I don't think you are any of those things. Okay, maybe you are a bit of a geek, but I like that about you."
He gave her a wan half smile in response. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Allison reached over and took Dubenko's hand in hers. "Lee, I'm sorry I overreacted. I should know better than to take anything your daughter says at face value." Realizing how that sounded, Allie winced. "I, uh, I mean that—"
"How do you think she earned her childhood nickname, Allie? I call her Sophie Monster for a reason." Dubenko looked at her, his expression solemn. "Are we done fighting?"
"Yes, and we are also incredibly late for work." Allie kissed his cheek before restarting the car and merging back into traffic. "I'm so dead."
Dubenko took her wrist and looked at his watch. "Actually, you have a fairly normal pulse. I'd say you were quite alive, honey."
"Ha ha. Seriously, have you ever seen the harridan that I call 'Boss'? She likes to eat lowly plebes like myself for breakfast."
"Send her my way if she gets on your case."
"You are not fighting my battles for me, Lee. Forget it. But if you never see me again, you'll know what happened. Tell my roommate she can have my stereo and be sure to feed my goldfish for me."
"She gets your stereo and I get goldfish?"
"I've known Joey longer."
"But she's making you wear a dress with a bow the size of South America on your rear end."
"Fine, you can have the stereo and the fish, okay?"
"What about Joey?"
"You can't have her. Her fiancé would probably shoot you. He's a cop, he carries a gun, you know."
"That's not what I meant. Won't she be jealous about the stereo and the gold fish?"
"You're the one being greedy, doctor darling."
"She can have the fish."
"She doesn't like them."
"Neither do I."
"You've never met them!"
"How does one 'meet' a pair of goldfish?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"You missed the exit."
"I'm so dead."