He wondered how one person could have changed so much over a period of time. He also wondered how relationships between people can drastically change over such a small incident. Wondered, also, on how a human being can hate and blame someone weaker and smaller than him for something even she could not prevent from happening.
Yet as he stared at her small, unhealthily crouched form, anger and loathing bubbled up inside of him.
That was the thing he was supposed to protect. She was the think that he was supposed to give his life for. Hinata was the person that took everything away from him.
She was the reason his father died.
Hinata was weak, very weak. She did not deserve anybody's protection. She especially did not deserve his, Hyuuga Neji's, protection.
Yet destiny cursed him to this fate. Why? If Hyuuga Hiashi was unable to have children, would he be of the Head family? Would the cursed seal be forced upon his forehead, marking him as a slave to the head family's disposal?
Neji shifted in position from his tree. He had been there ever since training ended, and the sun was setting. Warm, orange light swirled softly with the blank pale-ness of his eyes as they turned toward the creamy skies. A sigh parted his lips, and he closed his eyes.
The air was cool, despite the contrasting warm tones the sun cast upon his face.
"Konbanwa, Neji-niisan," came a tiny, weak voice.
Neji's eyes snapped open and he brought his glare upon Hinata's face. As always, Hinata's hands were bent in front of her chest, fist clutched loosely, finger hovering before her lips. Her dark, glossy hair reflected the gentle sunlight, and fell before her slightly furrowed eyebrows. It was as if they were permanently stuck that way. Her eyes swept downward at his glare met her. The unhealthy pale-ness of her skin that wasn't covered glowed along with the setting sun.
Suave material cloaked her small body, and reached the top of her thighs, where dark pants that reached below the knee stretched over her legs.
Neji said a "Hmm," in response, and Hinata looked up with something mingling in those eyes that looked very much like his, but at the same time, different. Something mingling, something that resembled sadness.
Neji could not help but feel irked.
"Your eyes seem troubled, Hinata-sama," Neji said coolly.
Hinata looked to the side. "W-What do you mean, Neji-niisan?"
Neji's eyes flashed. He hated everything about Hinata. Her timid personality, he lack of guts to stand up to people who bullied her. Especially him. He jumped off the tree, landing just in front of Hinata. She took a step back.
"You know what I mean," Neji said.
"G-gomen na-"
"I don't need your pity of your condolences, Hinata-sama," Neji hissed. "You don't need to say sorry to everything. Where's your gut? Stand up to me! Say something back!"
Hinata shook her head and opened her mouth to speak.
"Say something back, why don't you?" Neji said, cutting off Hinata and taking a step forward.
"I d-don't want to," Hinata whispered.
Scorn gleamed through Neji's taunting eyes.
"You don't want to?" Neji said incredulously.
Hinata's bottom lip trembled. "I can't Neji-niisan-"
Neji grabbed Hinata's wrist and slammed her into the tree he was just sitting in, pinning her to the rough bark. "What do you mean, you can't?" Neji growled. "Am I not worth it? It is a simple act of retorting, now do it!"
Hinata shook her head, and Neji, frustrated, brought a hand to her neck. It slid under the hitai-ate she kept tied around her neck and his fingers wrapped around it.
"Why won't you?" Neji whispered after Hinata kept silent. His fingers squeezed her slender neck threatingly.
Hinata swallowed, eyes watering at the burning sensation in her throat. She stood motionlessly, pinned to the tree by Neji. Her arms hung uselessly at her side.
"Answer!"
Neji pushed Hinata harder into the tree.
"I can't hurt you," Hinata choked out.
Neji glared angrily at her face.
"You've already l-lost your father-"
Neji's hand tightened, causing Hinata to whimper before continuing.
"-and I can't h-hurt you anymore-"
Neji's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, then narrowed angrily again.
"Why don't you use it?" Neji said coldly.
Hinata squeezed one eye shut and brought up her hands to try to pry off Neji's fingers.
"Use what?" Hinata managed between gasps for air.
"The cursed seal!" Neji snarled.
"I can't," Hinata whimpered.
"Do it!" Neji said. "I dare you."
"I won't - Neji-niisan, I can't breathe-"
"Do it!" Neji said, his eyes flashing. "Use the damn seal! Stop me!"
"No," Hinata struggled. "It's wrong…"
Neji's grip loosened slightly, then he let Hinata fall to the ground unceremoniously. He crouched in front of Hinata's shaking form.
"Doushite?" Neji breathed. "Why?"
Hinata clutched at her quickly bruising throat.
Neji waited as Hinata recovered air before asking again.
Hinata attempted to mutter something, which Neji did not hear.
'Why didn't you use it?" Neji prodded, gently this time.
Hinata closed her eyes, and warm liquid spilled out.
Neji blinked, then scowled. She was crying? What the hell was she crying for? All she had to do was answer the damn ques-
"I-I'd rather die than to use it," Hinata finally said, looking into Neji's eyes.
"Wh-what?"
"I'd rather die than to use it," Hinata repeated, her voice stronger.
Identical eyes locked, Neji's disbelieving, and Hinata's firmly.
"I-I'm never going to use that on anybody," Hinata said, her voice trembling slightly. She lowered her head. "Especially not you, Neji-niisan," Hinata whispered.
Neji stared at the bruise forming on Hinata's neck.
He had just hurt her…while she swore to never hurt him.
"H-Hinata," Neji murmured. "I-I'm s-"
Hinata shook her head. "I understand how you feel…"
Neji swallowed.
"But I just want to know…" Hinata murmured. "Where we…went wrong."
Neji instantly remembered everything they did together when they were young - Neji bandaging Hinata's scraped knee when she fell playing tag; Neji sneaking little treats to Hinata when she was punished after training because she was so weak… Hinata tagging along after Neji after a school day at the academy; all until Neji's father was sacrificed, and Hinata had tried to cheer her cousin up. Neji, furious with the Head family, told Hinata to go away and never show her face to him again.
Neji remembered meeting Hinata for the first tome, on Hinata's third birthday. Little Hinata had peeked at Neji from behind her father, smiling shyly. Neji tugged on his father's sleeve, saying that she was cute. He didn't know that time what his father's sad smile meant.
Now, he did.
Now, he understood. Understood the pain. Understood what it meant for him to be born in the family he was born in. Understood what fate was.
Neji looked at Hinata clearly as if for the first time. He saw through her timid and shy demeanor; he saw why she acted the way she did.
It was because of him. Because of her past.
Everybody does. They act accordingly to their past. Even him.
Neji heard Kiba tell Hinata not to fight him during the preliminaries. Yet she fought him anyway. Hinata gave Neji a chance to prove who he was. She knew she was weak, yet she fought her own cousin. And she lost. She lost, though she gave Neji a chance to prove himself. Though at the time he was too blind with anger to see the path she had opened for him.
"Neji-niisan?"
Hinata's hand reached out and touched Neji's face. Neji shrunk back, blinking. He noticed his eyes were wet.
"Daijoubu, Neji-niisan?" Hinata said, a worried expression stamped on her face.
Neji slowly got up, took a few steps back, and turned and disappeared.
Hinata's outstretched hand dropped to the ground, and she let a shaky sigh escape her lips.
-----
Neji say in his bed staring at the blank wall. There was so much that he'd figured out.
All this time, Hinata was protecting him. She was protecting him from himself.
Neji should be the one protecting her. And he thought she didn't deserve his protection. He was wrong.
Neji didn't deserve Hinata. He didn't even deserve Hinata's acknowledgement.