Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've had I busy weekend. To make it up, I put a little more effort than usual in. This is also here to clear things up, and is the longest chapter yet. I sadly may have to make these a little shorter to save time, but just a little. Thanks for the reviews, MoonCannon, Bane the Mad Demon Slayer, Vocalsama, Luray123456789, and Homocidal-Snowbunnies! Give me reviews, they are encouraging! Anonymous reviews are now welcome, too! So... R&R!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, nor anything else that has a copyright. :P If I did, I'd be doing something better right about now.

The Untold(until now) Story of the Gum

Once upon a time, four-thousand years ago...

A group of four were traveling. They consisted of a blonde half-elf kid, his sister, and aurburn haired swordsman, and a guy with a cape. These were Mithos, Martel, Kratos, and Yuan. They were traveling the world on a pilgrimage, trying to get people to accept half-elves. Now they were on their way to the territory of the Balacruf Dynasty to talk to their king.

"So...what are we doing again?" asked Mithos.

"Going to te king of Blacruf territory." answered Martel.

"I thought it was 'Balacruf.'" stated Yuan.

"It is," Kratos answered, "it is, just that kids these days are so stupid."

"W-well... I was being smart when Yuan offered me drugs!

Flashback

At the time, Mithos was wearing propellor cap, thick glasses, and polyestor clothing. Can you say NERD? He was walking down Palmacosta Road, when he saw the latest PDA.

"WOW. It's a iMacrotoft PX model5 PDA! The latest in technology! With new features you can chat with others wirelessly, surf the web, play movies, listen to music with 3 times more space than an iPod, download games, check the temperature, make and recieve calls, scan items, built in dictionary and theseus, translate foreign languages right on the spot, and all before dinner. I have GOT to get one of those"
A cloaked figure walked up toward Mithos.

"Hey kid... Wanna buy some drugs." While he said this, he showed the inside of his cloak, revealing many illegal items prohibited by the government. "Or how about illegal crack?"

"Uh...none, thanks."

"Oh, but I know you'll love this." The man pointed out to a certain prescription bottle.

"Uh..." Mithos was uncertain. "Isn't that the same stuff that turned Michael Jackson from black to white?"

"Well yeah," the man replied, "but that stuff was too potent. This, however, is much more regulated. Now, it has a different effect on everyone! Check this out. It's mystery medicine!"

The man brought down his hood to reveal...

"Yuan!" Mithos was shocked. Shocked I tell you! His propellor was spinning, the pattern on his shirt jumped somehow like in old cartoons, the thread of his breast pocket holding it together with the shirt unloosened from unknown force.

And so Yuan went poppin' them pills. In 10 seconds flat something was already changing.

Streaks of his jet black hair were turning blue!

"OH NO! OH GOD MY SEXY NATURAL HAIR COLOR IS DISAPPEARING INTO A FAR BETTER PLACE THAN HERE NO WHY ME WHYYYYYYY"

By now his hair had turned completely blue, his mouth bubbling, and by now he gave in and fainted. Mithos just stood there, wondering over what to do. He picked up a stick and started poking Yuan. That didn't work, so the (formally) sane half-elf dragged him over to the alley and stuffed him inside a trash can and tried to put on the lid. Yuan's legs were showing and everything, but it was good enough. Mithos looked around shiftily and ran.

Five minutes later some poor people came up to the trash can.

"Look! Something new to eat! I'm eating it!"

"No you can't. We're on Atkins, remember?"

"Aw okay..."

So they each got some thrown away leftovers.

"Hey, how many times have I told you not to lick your plate? You can get cancer that way y'know."

End Flashback

Now, the four had finally reached (Old) Asgard and were requesting an audiance with King Spock. Mithos could not help but burst out in laughter.

"HA HA HA! Spock? From Star Trek? HA."

Silence, fool!" The king sat up from his throne. " I challenge you to a duel!"

Mithos was estatic. "Oh, cool! My Exodia Necross will blow you away..."

"Not that kind you foolish bastard," the guard said. " A fight with weapons."

The grin that was on Mithos' face earlier had then erased from history.

"Oh crap."

The king couldn't wait for a set time and such, so he picked up a harpoon and jumped down to meet the his foe.

"Stupis half-elf! You shall die!"

Mithos pulled out a metal stud from his utility belt. He pressed a button and it widdened into an iron bar. And so a clash of titans began...

"Leave it to Mithos to screw things up," sighed Martel.

As the battle raged on, both evenly matched opponents were tired. It looked like no one would win until Mithos tripped over a convieniently placed coffee cup and as a result was now hanging onto the cliff for dear life hanging over a deep chasm.

"AHHH HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Please spare me! Here, I'll give you my last Rolo."

So king Spock pulled Mithos up and accepted the Rolo. Whe he finished he remembered something: he was lactose intolerate. While being carried to the hospital, he said to his servants, "Get Cockazeechapi to curse him to death..."

So the soldiers brought Mithos and freinds to Cokazeechapi's house.

"Helloooooo... I am Cockazeechapi, the witch doctor, Chapi for short." He listened to what the guard had to say.

"Curse death, eh? Alright. Mentos, was? Here, strap this on you arm."

"Oh boy," Mithos cheered. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy a power band!'

Chapi then pressed a button on his desk and the band electricuted the blonde.

"AAAAaaaAauUUUUuUghH..." You could year sizzling and occasional popping noises as the course of PAIN ended.

"H-hey! What was that for!"

"Eh, I pity da foo' who can't take a lil' shock!" Chapi revolted. "Now, ya got anything on ya?"

"Well, I've got some Winterfresh."

"Perfect..."

Chapi then procceeded to take the stick of gum and a pair of tweesers. He picked a flake of burnt skin from Mithos. The witch doctor dropped it into a cauldron, then put some ingredients in. After the liquid had turned a nasty shade of green, he started to say an incantation.

"Burger, burger, french fries and fish eyes. Atomic nukes and daisy dukes, behold!"

A bright light shone out of the cauldron. Chapi dropped the stick of Winterfresh into it and there was a small explosion. When the smoke cleared up, all that was left in the pewter cauldron was that stick of gum, except it was glowing.

"Now," the witch docter started to explain. "After when you are dead, if someone eats this stick of gum, they will be devoured from within, which I think is cool. And then, you will take control and walk this earth again."

"Yes!" Mithos was so joyous to this that he felt he could jump of a cliff, unlike how he felt like ten minutes ago.

"But! Your life will be short. The only way to keep living on is to eat as many sugary sweets as you can! This will bring chaos upon the land because kids will be so very sad, and it will drive adults crazy and awaken their homicidal side, OR make them commit suicide. Because they are old, most will die out before the kids survival goes poof bye-bye. But all the kids, and as they grow older all the generations after them, will curse you forever because then you will be the fattest person in history! It is eternal!"

While Yuan, Kratos, and Martel were grinning their heads off, Mithos put on an authentic autographed Darth Vader Helmet and shouted, "NOOOOOOOO!" As he drooped his head, the helm slid off onto the ground and shattered.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO, that cost 700 bucks!"

Now Mithos was mad. He used a M7OW-500 Bazooka on Chapi, blowing him up and sending all his remains into the stratosphere.

"Hey," Chapi's ghost oohed. "For that I'll make sure that someone eats the gum, as long as I'm dead! Now get the f--k out of my house!"

The guards threw all of them out toward the sky right there through the roof.

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"

And at the spot they would be before the crashed into the earth, there was a twinkle of light.

"So, that is the story of how Mithos returned," Yuan finished.

"Yay! I loved that story!" Collete cheered. "But what does that have to do with him coming back?"

"Well, it's simple syllogism. There is the gum which came from Asgard, and his first attack, as I said sometime earlier though it was not mentioned in the story, his first attack was in Altimira which is closest to Asgard, so..."

"Sorry?"

Yuan sighed.

To Be Continued!