Decisions, Decisions

I took a shower and fell into a troubled sleep. Cyborg had asked me to marry him, and that took a lot of the shock from the note off. It added a bigger shock. Now that I think about it, Cyborg is definitely the type of guy to want to make a big move like that so soon. Also, Brother Blood was definitely the type of guy to threaten me like that, only when I was sure I had a good thing going on.

I continued musing about what to do in the morning. I kept pacing back and forth for what seemed like forever, trying to come up with a solution. I was interrupted however, by a knock at the door. "Uh, Jinx… It is lunchtime, and you still haven't come out of your room…" said Cyborg from the other side of the door. "Oh, I didn't realize it was so late! I'll uh, be out in five minutes," I said nervously. "What are you doing in there, anyways?" he asked. "Just… thinking," I said. "Jinx, I'm sorry if I moved forward to fast for you…" "No, what would make you think that?" I asked, nervous. "Just something BB said to me, that's all. Still thinking on it?" he asked. "Yeah, I am…" I said just loud enough for him to hear.

FLASHBACK

"I did it, BB! I finally asked her!" yelled Cyborg excitedly. "Did what? Asked what? To who now?" asked Beast Boy, in utter confusion. "I finally got the courage to ask Jinx if she'll marry me someday!" said Cyborg with a large smile. "Dude, FINALLY? You mean you've been trying to?" he asked, shocked. "Yeah…" said Cyborg slowly.

"Look, you haven't even been dating for an entire year yet! Maybe she is going to be turned off by your sudden forwardness," said Beast Boy as he sat down the video game controller on the floor. "Ya think?" asked Cyborg rubbing the back of his head. He hadn't thought of the possibility that Jinx would be turned off by being asked to marry him.

"You can't take it back now, that would just hurt her feelings. Just make sure she knows that it will be a long-term engagement if she does say yes. No pressure." "Right… no pressure," said Cyborg; hoping Jinx wouldn't break up with him immediately because of the forwardness.

END FLASHBACK

"Alright… I made blueberry waffles, just come down to the kitchen when you are ready to eat. I'll see you in a few," said Cyborg. "Sounds awesome, I am pretty hungry and waffles sound great," said I with a smile. I do feel like waffles, especially the blueberry ones that Cyborg makes… my personal favorite breakfast food now. Cyborg laughed and said, "Ya better hurry, before the others eat them!"

I changed quickly and brushed my hair, putting it up in it's usual hairstyle. I checked myself over to make sure it didn't look as if I had been worrying and thinking for the past hour and a half. I sighed and walked out the room after doing all I could to my appearance.

I briskly walked to the kitchen, the smell of the freshly cooked blueberry waffles making my mouth water. Only Raven and Beast Boy were sitting at the table, Starfire and Robin suspiciously away…

Beast Boy was eating some tofu and fresh veggies, since the waffles were made with real eggs and milk, so he couldn't eat them and be true to his vegetarian state. Raven was enjoying a large stack of pancakes, and Cyborg was whistling as he cooked more pancakes. He smirked at me and set down my usual starter stack of five pancakes. He sat down beside me and began eating his stack of pancakes (which were loaded with butter and maple syrup, while mine had just a little syrup on them).

The main door opened to reveal a somewhat disheveled Starfire and Robin. Robin was holding a small basket with a blanket sticking out of it. It was obvious what had happened… they started out with an innocent breakfast picnic and it turned into a make out session.

"Have fun?" Cyborg asked with a smirk. Beast Boy chuckled and smirked, while Raven tried ignoring the entire scene, but was clearly trying to stifle laughs. "Um… yes," said Robin. "It was most glorious! Robin and me did the making out! It was the best feeling ever!" yelled Starfire. Robin whispered something, and she made a soft squeaking sound. "I mean, yes, it was very enjoyable. I think I shall go outside and do the taking of a walk… Robin, will you come with me?"

Starfire and Robin left, and I gave Cyborg an amused look. We all (including Raven, surprisingly) burst out laughing. "I guess Starfire didn't know that was something not to be mentioned aloud…" I thought aloud. "Yah, poor Robin… that HAD to be embarrassing!"

We all continued laughing and eating. Starfire and Robin walked back inside. This time they were a little messier… Robin's hair was out of place, and Starfire's looked like they needed brushing. Their lips were a brighter red and Robin's normally tucked in shirt wasn't anymore. Cyborg just raised an amused eyebrow at them, and Robin rubbed the back of his head. "I think I'll go to the Gym. I'll catch up with you guys later," he said, walking off towards the Gym.

They all started talking about something, and I became lost in my thoughts once again. I looked at them and realized I couldn't live without these guys. Gizmo and Mammoth weren't as fun to be around… Forget the fact that they're evil and these guys aren't. I could be evil again, but really this is a much nicer life. I have the family I have always wanted here.

Okay, the family members I have are all dating each other, which is weird now that I think about it. And we are always fighting crime… and so on and so forth. But otherwise, it is a perfectly happy family.

I can't let Brother Blood take that away from me. I just can't. This is the life I have always wanted, with the people I am glad to be with. Leaving them would be extremely impossible to do. I should cerise this month with them… They might shun me when they find out my dark past. I'll live with that, but leaving them just because wouldn't be right. I want there to be a reason they hate me, more than me just leaving them.

Besides, them finding out can't be so bad. If they really care for me, they won't mind my past at all. I can't be the only one with a dark past, can I? I did some pretty horrible things, and I feel bad for every single one of them. If I could, I would take it back in a millisecond. Then, the lives I had taken wouldn't be lost because of the malicious feeling I used to get in the spur of the moment. That little kid would still have the ability to walk. And I would have never acted out the feeling of impulsiveness I always used to get. I wouldn't have joined the HIVE in hopes of bringing myself power. I wouldn't have made so many wrong choices. I wish with all my heart I could take the choices back, because the memories haunt me. But I can't, unfortunately.

Once the Titans find out, I don't know how they will react. I just hope they can forgive me. I hope with all of my heart that Cyborg's and my love can last through that. I hope that Raven doesn't lose her trust in me. I also hope the Beast Boy, Starfire, and Robin won't hate me. If they did, I would feel as empty and lonely as I did when I was in the HIVE.

When this is over, if Cyborg and me still care so deeply for each other, I'll scream, "Yes, I'll marry you!" from the rooftops in the spur of the moment. If Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, and me are all still friends, I'll love every memory and moment with them. If Raven still trusts me on the same level, I swear I'll never screw up that trust and try my best to work up from trusted teammate to good friend with her. But that will only happen when all of this is truly over… I just hope that the month doesn't go by too fast.

Well, that is chapter three… Man, the people that are reading this are lucky I continue to post chapters to try and promote it, and that I like writing it. I only have two reviews from the same people, and yet I have thirty hits!