Blue Roses and Lithium Thorns

Chapter 1: The Prison Bars

It was a week since he had…then why were his hands still shaking? Dr. Curzon and Liam had both said that it was just a symptom of withdrawal.

And then there was Sandoval…why couldn't he remember? It seemed like he had blacked out as Sandoval had held his hand out with that sweet purple nectar…did he take it? He couldn't remember. He had not gathered the courage to ask anyone. In a way, he really didn't want to know. It was better to think of himself as strong enough to say no, but still…why had his mind blacked out? He must have taken it. Bastard! How dare he! To hell with them! Goddamn them all! Ever since that day he collapsed, his mind was filled with all kinds of swears that he would never say out loud. He didn't even know who he was swearing at in his mind. Was it him? Or was it them? Who were they? Damn that purple ambrosia! What had it done to his mind? Or…had these blasphemous thoughts occurred long before that ever came into his life… Maybe… No… That wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't what I needed… I just want to get out of here…out of this…godforsaken prison…!

Da'an awoke from the strangest slumber that had ever come to him. He wondered if it qualified as a slumber. Maybe that slumber was not a slumber, but a journey into his own mind.

Bad ideas! Let them die. It was just a dream…a strange dream, no doubt…but a dream just the same. Then why couldn't he remember—this is getting old! You have a duty to your species. That's getting old too. Because I'm getting old. We're all getting old…everything…this is a bad routine. A little bit of…is all you need. A little bit of what? What did you say? Let it go! Time for a new day. To the door of mystery and dignity…I'm wandering…I'm searching down the secret sun—

"Da'an…"

Come with me in the twilight of the summer night for a while…

"Da'an."

Take me back to the land…where my yearnings were born…

"Da'an." More firmly.

The key to open the door is in your hand…now…fly…me…there…

"Da'an!"

"What!"

Liam put his hands up innocently. "Just checking to see if you were still with me. Did you just wake up?"

Da'an looked around—the radio! Of course. He sighed. "Liam, turn that thing off for me, would you?"

"Key of the Twilight" was cut off. Now, he remembered. He had set up the clock radio to wake him up because ever since he had been hospitalized he had been sleeping more than usual. Now, I feel dizzy. Wake up, idiot! You have a whole new day ahead of you.

"I bet you haven't checked your schedule yet," Liam said switching on his computer.

"That's right, Liam," Da'an said cynically. "I just now woke up, but an out-of-body experience made me able to check my schedule beforehand while I dreamed peacefully in the comfort of my own chair."

"You know what? I really think I should've just left you lying there—"

"Yes, Liam, because you know every bad day that I awaken to now will have a direct reference to my kryss habit!"

"All right!" Liam cried. "Jeez! Calm down, Da'an. We won't talk about it anymore." Liam checked the schedule for Da'an to compromise. "Well, good thing for you, it's a pretty slow day today. The only thing is a Synod meeting at three."

Da'an sighed. Slow days always meant death. "What about the next day?" Da'an asked woodenly.

Liam checked. "Ugh!" Liam didn't know how he was gonna list it all. "President Thompson wants your advice on a new bill…uh…you have to make an appearance at Washington City Hall to welcome the new mayor…you have a conference call at—aww damn it!"

"Let me guess. That idiot secretary set up conflicting times again."

"By thirty minutes."

They both groaned.

"I seriously need to fire that woman. What else?" Da'an asked dreading the response.

"You have an inspection at five with that new biomedical research wing at Doors International. And then after that—oh you can kiss off any chance of going to that opera—Apple's scheduled a dinner meeting about that new I-Pod."

"Fun…" Da'an said unenthusiastically. "You know I really have no clue why I have to go. I never do anything important. All I ever do in those meetings is sit there and watch four to six board members negotiate with such and such advertising company. They spend an hour acting like they know what they are talking about, and finally they ask me my opinion. And of course I am so bored to tears by the time they get to me that my verb use is pretty much limited to 'Uh, yes that sounds good,' or 'I think we should do that,' or—my personal favorite—'yes, why don't you do what you think is best?'"

"Well, think of it this way. You get a few hours to laze around and not have to think. It's a break. Take it."

"Touché. What time is the Synod meeting?"

"Three."

"Major Kincaid…what is three? Is it AM or is it PM? Because last month, the Synod decided to have a meeting at one AM to compensate for the East Asian Companion and the Australian Companion—"

"It's PM, Da'an!"

They both sighed and said, "Thank you!"

They both stared at each other.

"I take it that you are having a bad day too," Da'an said to Liam.

"The worst! I spilt coffee on my favorite shirt. And since it was Espresso, it's pretty much only worth the Salvation Army now. Auger…has an appointment with the health inspector, but he can't take it because he's literally dropped off the face of the Earth, so they called me—at five o-frickin'-clock in the morning to tell me they were coming this evening. Apparently Flat Planet has a rat problem, and I can't deny it because it's made its way into my bedroom making short work of what's left of my shirt and my Espresso. On my way to the Embassy, I nearly got mugged by some jack-ass homeless person who looks like Kenny Rogers and smells like the dumpster of a Chinese buffet—"

"All right, I get it," Da'an said quickly, putting his hands up innocently. "It was pretty bad. Jeez. Calm down, Liam."

Liam gave Da'an a dirty look. Then, for no reason at all, both of them burst out laughing.

"I hate you, sometimes, you know that?" Liam told Da'an.

"Well, that's all right because my fondness of you probably lessened long before you started hating me."

Liam snickered. "I think that you and I should start a complaint box."

"We have that already. It's near the janitor's office because nobody goes there."

Liam laughed some more. "This place is full of corruption."

"It could be worse. You could be working at the DMV."

"Oh God! Don't even say that. You might jinx me."

"Liam, as long as I am alive—wait. Let me start again. Liam, as the Commonality is my witness, I will see to it that you never have to work at the DMV or any other office run by bureaucrats."

"Thank you, Da'an."

"You're welcome."

"I feel better."

"Me too."

"Hey, I want some coffee. You wanna come?"

"No thank you. I'm fine."

"Suit yourself," Liam said rising to get his cup of coffee.

"Try not to spill it this time."

"Shut up! Why don't you wake up abruptly at five in the morning to a very annoying ringing and see how well your dexterity works?"

"Why would I want to wake up abruptly to a very annoying ringing when I have…you?"

Liam shook his head. Even their arguments were making him like Da'an more again. He sat back down and began pouring cream in his coffee.

"How do you drink that?" Da'an asked.

"With one cream and two sugars. The perfect recipe for facing the day," Liam replied. "Why? What are you complaining about? It's not like you've ever had coffee. Oh God. You have, haven't you?"

"It was just once, and I was only curious—wait. Don't change the subject!"

"It keeps me on my feet and able to deal with things like…you."

Da'an rolled his eyes. "Caffeine, sugar, and fat—that stuff is going to give you a heart attack. How many calories are in there?"

"You sound exactly like J. Street."

"It sounds like this J. Street and I would get along."

"Well, if it will put your mind at ease, I'll switch to blue algae and seaweed."

"Liam, I just want to drink something healthier, not kill yourself."

"Well, good, because based on what J. Street says, it's either this or the blue algae and seaweed."

"You mean they actually make drinks like that?"

"Last time I checked."

"She sounds like a hippie. Wait. We are talking about a she, right?"

"It's a her, and she's not a hippie. Well...maybe...look let's not get into that."

"Well, at least she is looking out for your health. I suppose I should give her that much but…but…I cannot seem to think of a way to finish that sentence."

"Too much blue algae?"

"Oh, stop it. You're worse than Alanis Morsette."

"You see? This is the kind of arguing that I can't do with Renee," Liam said, putting his feet up on the desk.

"Don't push it, soldier," Da'an said pointing at his shoes.

Liam put his feet back on the floor. "Let's get serious."

"Fair enough, Freud."

"Da'an, seriously, what was up with you this morning? I've never seen you that dosed off before."

Da'an's head began to bob which meant he did not want to talk about it, but they both knew that when Liam wanted to know something… "I have not been resting as well as I used to."

"Is it the kryss?"

"Maybe."

"What kind of sleep have you been—I mean, is it nightmares?"

"I don't know. I cannot describe it. Usually, when I dream, I see things and hear things. Now, I never see anything. I am in total darkness with voices whispering to me. Sometimes I can hear my own voice."

"What are you saying?"

"I cannot make out what I am saying. I am saying so many things at once that I cannot separate sentences. I believe that I am hearing my own thoughts…actually hearing them."

"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember…wanting—um, wanting something."

"What?"

"I don't know," Da'an lied.

"Wanting to feel?" Liam asked, trying to narrow it down. "Wanting some person?"

"I…I do not know," Da'an lied.

"I think you do."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you just don't want to tell me."

Da'an sighed. "You would not understand."

"Why wouldn't I understand?"

"Because you already have it."

After about an hour of sitting down and doing nothing, Liam and Da'an finally decided to get down to business. Liam arranged for a volunteer squadron to be ready by two-thirty, and started going over the security detail with who would be their leader.

Da'an spoke to Zo'or about the agenda for today's Synod meeting. Apparently, this meeting would be about a disturbance in the outer rings of the solar system. A few years ago, Da'an would have been concerned, but after several false alarms, this pretty much meant nothing to him. It was probably just another comet or a loose asteroid.

In the last few moments, Liam received a call on his global. Renee's face appeared. Liam stepped into a safe corner to be alone. "Go."

"How long is the Synod meeting going to last?"

"These things don't take too long—two hours at the most. Why?"

"When you're done, get down here. The resistance picked up some kind of disturbance on the Taelon satellites."

"The Taelons did too. Da'an said it's probably nothing."

"'Nothing' doesn't send us scrambled radio signals."

"Radio signals?" Liam repeated. "You think it's Jaridians?"

"If it is, then you'll probably know before we do," Renee said. "Just get here as soon as you can. The leaders are calling an emergency meeting at St. Michael's."

"I'll be there ASAP." Liam shoved the global in his pocket and raced to get to Da'an, who was already on his way to the shuttle.

"Renee says that the resistance is calling a meeting," Liam whispered to him. "They say that whatever's out there's been sending them radio signals."

Da'an stopped abruptly. Two volunteers nearly ran into him and Liam. "Can you…say that again?"

"Radio signals. Something out there's trying to contact us."

"Then, maybe—no." Da'an shook his head. "If that is the case, then Zo'or will probably tell us everything we need to know."

"I'll have to bolt once the meeting's over. Can you cover for me?"

Da'an nodded.

"Thanks," Liam said. He raced to the pilot's seat.

Da'an was a little slower than usual getting inside. Liam was concerned.

Da'an and two other Synod members were always the first to arrive mainly just to figure out what was going on and how to tell the rest of the Synod. Zo'or rose from his chair and greeted them.

"What is this about some disturbance?" Xia'tan asked.

"Yes, what is happening?" asked Ba'hor.

"Stop having kittens, you two," Zo'or said. He and Da'an shook their heads. "You will know as soon as the others know. Trust me. It is nothing to be too concerned about."

Da'an asked to speak to Zo'or in private. Zo'or gladly complied.

"Fossils," Zo'or scoffed once they were far away enough for the other two Taelons not to hear. "They are the oldest and the dumbest members of the Synod, and yet they have two of the most important positions. How did they manage to stay in the Synod this long?"

"Because the only thing more obedient than them is a dog. I swear, Pavlov would have had a field day with those two."

"I can imagine," Zo'or snickered. "They probably slobber about as much as his dogs."

They both snickered.

"What is this really about?" Da'an asked. "Is it that religious group I heard so much about?"

"Exactly. I received a transmission from them about a week ago. I thought that our failure to respond would be indication enough of our disinterest. Well, ever since I ignored their last transmission, they have been sending signal after signal."

"What do they want?"

"They will not say. They just repeat that it is important and they want permission to board."

"Are you going to allow it?"

"That is precisely why I have called a meeting."

"Dear me, Zo'or! You need us to help you make a decision?" Da'an said sarcastically. He began to look around as if he was expecting the rapture to occur any minute. "Well, is the sky falling? H-Has hell truly frozen over?"

"Ah-ha. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha," Zo'or laughed ever more sarcastically. "Get to your seat."

Da'an walked to his position where Liam was standing guard feeling good about himself.

"What did you do?" Liam inquired about that mischievous little grin.

Da'an whispered it to him. They both snickered. The companion and his protector next to them gave them dirty looks. That only made them laugh even more.

Zo'or cleared his throat. Da'an and Liam went back to being serious like a light switch. The rest of the Synod was quick to follow.

"Why does he always bother us?" Liam whispered to Da'an playfully. "Like we're the only ones who laugh at people before a meeting."

"Shh," Da'an said putting a finger to his lips, but deep down he was laughing.

"This meeting of the Synod will now come to order," Zo'or said. He proceeded to tell the Synod the same story that he told Da'an, but this time it was more professional. Then, he flipped on a datastream to reveal Taelon satellite pictures of a small ship. "We believe that this is the work of this new Taelon cult of which rumors have been circulating throughout the Commonality."

"Do you plan to allow them to board?" the East Asian companion asked.

Da'an was hiding his worry about this cult.

"It appears that no degree of negotiation will restrain them," Zo'or said. "I open any suggestions to the floor."

"We obviously cannot force them away," said the East Asian companion. "They are our brethren."

"They have lost their way," the UN companion said unenthusiastically. "These are not to be considered our brethren. They are lost in their primitive legends and old religious relics. You cannot expect us, a breed of Taelons of such high intelligence, to submit to the wishes of some primitive relic."

"To the contrary," Da'an said, "I believe that we have much to learn from a group of Taelons who have utilized a different means of survival."

"What teachings could we possibly have to learn from these people?" asked Xia'tan.

"We could rediscover our roots," Da'an replied looking down, looking lost.

"I do not agree with Da'an's reasoning, but I do agree with his suggestion that we allow them to board," the western European companion said. "These Taelons would not so adamantly request permission to speak with us unless it was something of dire importance. We cannot afford to let such an opportunity pass."

"Better to let an opportunity pass than to let the wolves in," the UN companion said.

"These people are not our enemies," the East Asian companion said. "They are our kind. I heartily agree with Da'an. If they seek to aid us in our quest for survival, we must be open to new opportunities to reach such a goal. Besides, from what I hear, this is a nonviolent group. They have no weapons of any kind."

A buzzing in the back of Da'an's mind drew him away from the focus of the debate. The rest of the Taelons were soon to follow.

"There is something odd about this group," the UN companion said upon his recovery. "It is as if they are foreign to the Commonality."

"That is not possible," Ba'hor said. "The only way they could be foreign to the Commonality is if they…were not a part of it."

The mood of the group grew dimmer. Zo'or finally put the issue to vote. After a long moment of silence the issue was resolved. The Synod definitely wanted to meet this strange cult. Zo'or adjourned the meeting. Liam raced to the portal as Da'an thought up an excuse to Liam's sudden departure.

The rest of the Synod members left quickly and quietly. Da'an told his escort to go ahead of him.

"As I surmised," Zo'or told Sandoval, "they have agreed to let them board."

"Are you still worried about what we discussed earlier?" Sandoval asked.

"Obviously," Zo'or replied. "My moment to strike is nearing. We have little time left with this game playing. We must draw the traitor out now while we still have time. The only use he is to me is if he joins me."

"Well, I see this as an opportunity, Zo'or," Sandoval said.

"How?"

"We can use this cult to draw out those most loyal to you," Sandoval suggested. "Those who are swayed by their words are those who would have betrayed you anyway."

"If that is the case, then bring the one who is swayed the most to me. All my doubts will be cast aside. Perfect."

Da'an shook his head. All the time that buzzing was echoing throughout his mind.

"So what's the situation?" Liam asked the resistance. "I came as soon as I could."

"We were about to ask you the same thing," Renee said.

"From what I've heard, this is just a nonviolent religious group," Liam said. "It looks like they're just here to talk to the Taelons."

"The last species that came to Earth was here 'just to talk,' and I think we all know what happened then," one of the resistance leaders said.

"Well, we can't just attack them, if that's what you're getting at," Liam said. "They have no weapons. They want nothing to do with us."

"Then, why did they contact Earth?" asked Renee.

"They weren't contacting us. They were contacting the Taelons."

"All the same, I still think we should be on our guard," Renee said. "Any friend of the Taelons is probably not a friend of ours."

Liam sighed. "That's right, Renee," he muttered to himself. "A religious group of aliens sent the Taelons suspicious radio transmissions and didn't bother to call us. Now, they're coming in a ship as big as a Boeing 747 compared to the Mothership that's as big as Texas. We're about to be wiped out."

"What was that?" Renee asked firmly.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Liam replied quickly.

"Good," Renee said. "We stick to the plan. I want all of the resistance cells on their guard. We'll keep track of the Mothership's information traffic."

The resistance leaders left quickly. When they were gone, Street sat next to Liam. "You owe me a shirt."

"Yeah, nice try," Liam said. "But hey, if you're looking for one, I've got a coffee-stained blue shirt in my room right now probably knee deep in rat dung."

"I'll pass," Street said. "Is that all that's bugging you? Because I spoke to the health inspector this morning after you called me. I got him to hold off calling the heavy hitters on Flat Planet. Looks like you have enough to worry about between these crazies and the madhatters in space."

"I'd feel better if you could actually get those rats out of there," Liam said.

"I'll do something even better," Street offered. "You sign the rights to the café over to me, and I'll make sure that not even the asbestos will get in there."

"You sure you can handle it?" Liam asked.

"No, but I know a guy who knows a guy who could," Street said.

"Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this? Fine," Liam said, "but please don't turn Augur's café into a Studio 54."

"No promises," Street joked.

Liam glared at her.

"Oh, you were serious," Street said. "All right. I promise."

"Thanks."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Street asked.

"Something's wrong with Da'an," Liam said.

"You can't expect him to a hundred percent better too quickly."

"It's not that. At least I don't think it is. He says that he's been having these weird dreams at night. He won't tell me what they're about."

"Well, do you tell Da'an about your dreams?" Street asked.

"No, I guess not."

"Then, what are you complaining about? You can't expect Da'an to tell you things you'd never tell him."

"I think it's something wrong with you," Renee said to Liam. "Da'an will be fine. He's been doing great so far."

"True," Liam said, easing his concerns a little. "Oh, and by the way, Street, Da'an hates those blue algae drinks too."

"Oh please. You probably just made him biased," Street said. "Does he think you should be drinking Espresso every morning?"

"No."

"Score one for J. Street."

"Get out of here."

What do you remember about that day? Did you take it or didn't you?

I already told you! I can't remember!

You have to remember! It's not like you fainted.

Maybe I did. I'm confused. Why can't I remember? How do you block something so insignificant from your mind?

I think it wasn't insignificant. Or else you would remember.

Maybe I did not take it. Maybe it was so embarrassing to me that I blocked it out.

Perhaps. Is that what you believe?

Tell me what to believe!

You can only tell yourself that.

I should never have even touched it in the first place.

You would have died instantly. What do you think finally killed Ma'el? It was not old age that did him in.

You know what I mean.

Then, let's talk about that day. The day you decided to try it. First and foremost, why did you lie to Liam about your reasons?

I do not remember what I said.

Yes, you do. "…large amounts of kryss…supplement…energy levels…"

Then, I do not know why I lied.

You know why you do everything you do. You are just afraid to admit it.

Admit what?

It!

No!

You are trapped. They all are. They all long to be free.

But why now?

Because now you know that there is such a thing as individuality and that it is wonderful. You want that. You know whom they seek.

People like me. People who can see the prison bars. I just want to be free. I just want to get out!

You have experienced it once. You were free. Despite your devolution, you were free, and it was wonderful. Deep down, where thoughts like mine dwell, you loved that feeling of freedom. It thrilled you. Enthralled you! It is like ecstasy! It is ecstasy!

Shut up! Just shut up and leave me alone!

Da'an jerked from his slumber. Did that just happen? Did I just—

I can see the prison bars.