Random AN: If anyone has noticed, the title is a line from Boa's Duvet, the opening theme for Serial Experiments Lain. That was one off the wall anime. O.o I watched it a few years ago and it still boggles my mind.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon.
Chapter 1
Mid-March. Second anniversary of Chiba Mamoru's death.
Minako hunched over her drink, looking away from the expanse of grey that lingered outside the window and back to her companions. "I feel. . .guilty. . .that we're here like this today. We should be with Usagi-chan," she murmured. It was taboo to speak of 'that,' especially in front of Usagi, but euphemisms were always more acceptable. She twirled the straw listlessly between her fingers.
Makoto nodded in agreement, but fidgeted uneasily. The overcast weather was making her anxious. "I know, but today is the best day to leave her alone. Ami-chan also said she had something she wanted to tell us about. . .today."
"Speaking of Ami-chan, where is she? She's never late." Rei lifted her head and searched over the light crowd of the café for any signs of their friend. The door jingled and her violet eyes went to the entrance to spot the blue-black bob of her petite comrade.
Breathlessly, Ami approached their booth and gasped out an apology before sinking into the seat next to Minako. "I got caught up in a new line to my theory and lost track of time."
"Lost track of time?" Rei echoed thoughtfully, letting her eyes linger grimly on Ami's heavy under eye bags. "Have you felt it, too? The strange ebb and flow of time today?" At their solemn nods, she closed her eyes and leaned back. "It feels surreal."
Ami nodded quickly and leaned forward, voice down to a whisper. "I've been working on my theory since. . .the tragedy. This is what I've come up with: Mamoru-san has been wiped out of existence. He no longer exists—never existed—in any timeframe or timeline now that he's. . .passed."
"Wait a minute," Makoto shook her head in disbelief, "what do you mean 'he no longer exists'?"
"I mean, all the Mamoru-san's that have ever existed in this world are gone. His death in this current time went back and wiped out his previous and future existences. Since his death, there was never a Chiba Mamoru."
Fiercely, Rei clutched the edge of the table until her knuckles bled to white and had to remind herself that this was only a theory. "You're saying that the future affects the past, Ami-chan. How is that possible?"
"Time flows in a circle."
Three shocked faces gaped at Minako. She looked cluelessly back at them.
"Did Minako just sort of make sense?" Rei asked, her death grip easing on the table. She was beginning to feel a little lightheaded.
"Hey, I resent that!" she cried, indignantly crossing her arms over her chest. People stared. Rei snorted. Ami pretended to ignore them.
"Yes, Minako-chan is right in a way. Time flows in a circle. And since Mamoru was Endymion in a past life, Endymion no longer exists as well. Now, if you think about it, Endymion could be deemed at fault for the fall of the Silver Millennium. Beryl gathered her forces because of Endymion—she had fallen in love with him and in a blind act of jealousy, she joined with Metallia. Earth fell to the Dark Kingdom and that brought Endymion to seek refuge on the moon, which was where it all ended." Ami sighed. Her theory had started out as an idea a month ago and had quickly developed into a full-blown obsession. It had overtaken her studies and free time to the point where she couldn't fall asleep until she had explored it from a different angle.
"But couldn't the blame be easily laid on Serenity? It was she who sought out Endymion in the first place."
She nodded at Makoto's reasoning. "Suppose they had never met. Endymion still would not have fallen in love with Lady Beryl. They were close, but their relationship was one-sided—Endymion would barely give her the time of day. Envy knows no boundaries. It wasn't because Serenity was the princess of the moon, but because Endymion would eventually love someone else. Metallia would have easily infected Beryl in her vulnerable state. We would have never met his generals, but Beryl would have gotten to them first because they were closest to Endymion.
"By that time, the outer planets were barely standing, but still standing. Even if Endymion did not know the existence of civilization on the other planets, he would have found out through Metallia. Her ultimate goal was the defeat of the Silver Millennium. Even with the moon's advanced technology, the Earth outnumbered the moon. The Silver Millennium was doomed either way."
It almost made sense to Minako as she mulled over the speculation—except for one part. "You're saying that it was all Endymion's fault he was so gorgeous that ten billion women had to fall in love with him. Then wouldn't it be his parents fault for having sex and making him?"
Ami's mouth opened, closed, then opened again. "I. . .I didn't think about that," she admitted. Her already pale face drained of whatever color that was left.
"Ami-chan, it's okay," Makoto interjected quickly, eager to ease her frazzled friend. "It's today. . .it's weird," she supplied with a shrug and suppressed a smile as she glanced at Minako. "It's making the most incoherent of people coherent."
"I resent that, too!"
She smiled weakly in response at the pair. "But I'm not blaming him per se, just the fact that his soul took that moment of conception to be made into flesh. And it wasn't based on looks alone that caused his popularity. He was a respectable prince."
"So you're saying if the King and Queen had conceived another son, it wouldn't have had the same effect?"
The exhausted girl took a moment to gather her wits and shake her head no. "That's debatable. If another son had been born in Endymion's place, he may or may not have taken the same role. There are too many alternate realities to say for sure.
"However, now that Endymion never existed, there never did lead to chain of events where the Sailor Senshi would be needed in this time. The Silver Millennium never fell. The Sailor Senshi of that time were never reborn because they had never died. That is why we can't call on our powers anymore. We are no longer the Sailor Senshi."
Rei uncharacteristically grabbed her head and moaned, "You're saying the Silver Millennium still exists and that there is extraterrestrial life. You do realize, Ami-chan, that your theory is full of holes?"
Ami had the grace to blush. "Well, of course, but this is just a theory; maybe a hypothesis is more like it. It does make a little sense, doesn't it?" she asked meekly.
Suddenly, Minako sniffed and turned big teary eyes to her friends. "So this was like just one big dream? We were never the Sailor Senshi? I was never Sailor V?"
Rei shrugged and let her eyes slide close. "Like I said: surreal."
- - - - - - - - -
"Hey," he uttered in a low voice, scowling when she didn't turn around. His eyes skimmed over her figure—he could attempt to grab her from behind and haul her down. It wouldn't take much strength to overpower her.
Hiiro closed the gap between them and reached for her waist. She chose that exact moment to turn around and notice him.
- - - - - - - - -
The black water rolled like long pitch tongues. They slapped against the metal columns and burst into wet white fireworks. It was one hundred and sixty feet from where she stood to the water. A human body could plummet off the bridge and die instantly. Bones would shatter like glass and the remains would be crushed under each torrential wave. A person could be hammered continuously against the supporting columns before finally drifting to shore. Usagi knew because she couldn't forget.
She didn't know what time it was or how long she had been standing there. Today, time always slowed down and stretched on infinitely until it felt like she had just got there. She didn't understand it and tried not to.
Like a Moebius strip. She didn't even know what a Moebius strip was—which made more and less sense to her than before.
It was late, probably. Her parents would be worried. Usagi eased open her grip on the pole, gave the threatening waves one last glance, and turned on her heel. Something moved towards her on the side—electric blue eyes flashed from a sharply angled face. Surprised, she stepped backwards.
. . .Into air.
- - - - - - - - - -
Vertigo engrossed the girl and she toppled backwards with a piercing scream. Hiiro automatically lunged for her flailing arms. Her clammy hands were shockingly cold in his. He felt her body jolt from her sudden displacement in mid-air. "Hold on," he grunted as he braced himself.
Usagi pulled her eyes from the way her legs dangled helplessly over the wicked ebony water and stared open-mouthed at the boy who had nearly sent her to her death. Wind whistled through her body and her hair. The roar of blood in her ears drowned out the crashing tide below. With a shuddering breath, she gripped his hands more tightly. At least they were warm, but she wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Her fingers were getting sweaty.
Sweaty like his pale face as he drifted further and further away from her through the weeks.
Bitterly, she squeezed her eyes shut as self-loathing consumed her. It had been her fault, despite what anyone else said, because she had been the one closest to him. She should have known and should have done something to ease him when he had needed her the most. She blamed herself because blaming herself was easiest solution and Usagi could not bring herself to defile his ideal image.
But death did not appeal to her the way it had to him. Life was what she—they—had fought for. To this day, she still could not comprehend what made him choose death.
Hiiro tugged her up over the rail with the greatest of ease. She barely weighed a thing. Setting her on the ground, he lowered himself to her level to check for signs of shock.
"You almost killed me!" the waif of a girl accused, blue eyes huge and glittering in her pallid face. She pressed her palms into the flat concrete and leaned over her arms, catching her breath.
He narrowed his eyes in his own version of a gawk. "You weren't trying to kill yourself."
Shocked, her head jerked up and she glared at him. "Of course not!" she snapped, but quickly lost the biting look, leaving her face open and sullen. "I wouldn't do something like that, no matter how bad life got," she finished softly.
"Life is something that is cheap,"* he stated in a low voice and almost regretted it. It had come out harsher than intended.
Faintly, Usagi frowned, thin golden eyebrows knitted together. The boy who was not quite a man but also not quite a boy stared at her, face impassive and eyes like intense blue fire-light. She shivered; she felt exposed. "Life is the greatest gift. It should be treasured. It takes nine months to give life, but only one second to take it. And if what you said was true, why did you save me?"
Sincere words, Hiiro mused dully to himself, but also words of a person who had never experienced a life worth dying for. And why had he saved her? The costs were already outweighing the benefits. He was losing time with idle chitchat. She sighed suddenly.
"Sorry."
He looked at her sharply. She was apologizing to him?
Usagi studied him with interest. He didn't look much older than her, but one look at his clothes told her he was out of school. A forest green shirt peeked out from the confines of a black bomber jacket. He was attractive in a dangerous sort of way, and as soon as she realized her thoughts, she flushed and looked down. "I guess anybody would have thought I was going to. . ." she trailed off and shook her head, "but you see, not many people use this bridge anymore, so I thought it was okay."
"You've done this more than once," he acknowledged.
She shrugged and lowered her eyes to her hands. "Just one other time. Thank you for saving me."
Her vague answers and topic-switching tactics were obvious and easy to pick up. She was edged with mystery, but everyone was entitled to a few secrets. "It's dangerous," he said at length.
"I know. This is all pretty silly now, don't you think?" she giggled awkwardly, miserable thoughts momentarily dispersing. Someone had nearly killed her by trying to save her. It was so nerve-racking it was hilarious. Her lips twitched into a smile, but at his blank expression, she winced. He obviously didn't share her humor. "My name is Tsukino Usagi. What's yours?" she inquired as she picked herself off the concrete.
He pulled himself back into a standing position and smirked. Her name matched her hair. "Yui Hiiro."
"Yui Hiiro-san," she murmured to herself as she nodded. "I won't forget you."
Her odd remarks and extreme blue eyes were beginning to unnerve him. He fell back on his most dependable response. "Hn."
Usagi broke into a smile. "'Hn,'" she mimicked with an amused tilt of her head. "I like that!" Flashing him another toothy grin, she took his hand and enthusiastically shook it much to his concealed confusion. "I have to go home, but it was nice meeting you, Hiiro-san. Maybe we'll see each other again!" She waved as she turned, nearly tripped, and ran down the road.
Hiiro, nonplussed, stared after her as she vanished down the path. The engine of his car purred in stillness of twilight. A chill of water peppered the ground in front of him before speckling his hair and face. The light rain was freezing, but welcoming.
Languidly, he climbed back into the car and sat and reflected. He was used to idiosyncratic individuals in his line of work, but they only held his interest long enough for him to put them out of his own misery. Much to his personal indifference, he was often called one. But Tsukino Usagi with her peculiar ideals, rapid shifts of mood, and eccentric mannerisms secured a notable and vaguely familiar image.
"I won't forget you."
He smirked and put his vehicle into motion. Whatever that meant.
The end. Haha, just kidding. I'd love to end it there and never ever think about this ever again, but. . .somehow. . .I'll finish it. *makes a determined face and only manages to look constipated*
For the reviewers: Wow, you guys are so awesome! I never expected the number of reviews! I was thinking maybe two tops, but the response was pretty overwhelming! ^_^ Now to see if I can get the same number or more! xD Heheh, just kidding ^^ . . . though it would be nice :D --shameless smile
Patricia16: Thanks ^^;; I'll finish it!
Chibi Koneko: ;D Thanks! XD I've got so many weird ideas I wanna explore. :x
Amanda: You're too nice, lol. ^^;; I hope the rest of the chapters meet your approval, too!
hino rei: Wahh, me have talent?! :D! Thanks!
Heero's Bunny: Lol, Heero—sweet XD!! I actually wasn't going for that, but okay! Rofl, I guess Hiiro fanfic OOCness is true, hmm? He doesn't really have –social– interactions with people, so it's hard to distinguish sometimes. ^^
Shadow Wolf2: *erks at hoard of fans carrying torches and rocket launchers* @.@ I don't know whether to be flattered or frightened! Maybe I'll be both. ^^() I love rain, too xD It's just that. . .I have such an unhealthy obsession with it. o.o
Dragon7: Any means necessary? *light bulb goes on over her head* Well, maybe if he becomes my personal love slave. . . ;D Wait, I don't want Relena!! ;-;
Arella Halo: Hiiro's going to die. o.o Just kidding! ^^;; He won't die. . .or will he? *walks away whistling innocently* ^~
crystalgem2003: Thanks, hehe! I make sense? Wow, that's the first time someone's said that to me. You should see/hear the conversations I have with my friends. XD You'll have no idea what I'm talking about 99.9% of the time.
Sunshine Fia: Lol, you almost got it right. x3 Poor Usagi-chan. . .almost died thanks to Hiiro. U.u! Bad Hiiro, bad! I'm sure he'll make it up to her later. . .somehow. . . :D
themoonmaiden: tmm-chan ;-;!! It's okay, don't worry about it! But I'm so glad you're back!! *huggles* Lol, that's very true about Hiiro. . . It also sort of gives me an idea. *snickers to herself and glances around* The pole _ Haha, I didn't even realize I used that phrase, but it brings back dirty thoughts. :D *scratches her chin* I'm not sure if their first meeting would be considered turbulent. . .maybe more confusing and not quite romantic. . .yet. . .maybe. . . I'm still wondering if I should make it a romance. ^^
Damia – Queen of the Gypsi's: Thanks! Explanations will be introduced with time. ^_~ I have this thing about hinting at stuff and then drawing it out very slowly. I know I'm cruel. :D
kimeno-pebols: *bows* ^^! I actually might not make it H/U, just to warn you. ^^;; Romance is still kind of undecided. x_x
~Pyro Kitty Cat~: Thanks and I'll try! ^_^
Ame: Yay! So that means you'll still read even if I don't put them together? :D I hope so!
Questions and answers that come to mind: What is wrong with this fic?! Pwahahaha, everything! :D I was lying in bed and then the inner's conversation just popped into my head. It made, and still makes no sense to me whatsoever, so if anybody actually DOES understand it, feel free to explain it to me! xD Keep in mind that it is just Ami's theory. Also, the information on the Silver Millennium is a mix of anime and manga.
Yeah, Mamo-chan is dead, no, I don't hate him, and yes, I used to have the fattest 2-D crush on him. . But for the sake of this story, he is dead. -.- His tragedy was for the greater good, I tell you. What did he die of, you ask? You'll just have to wait to find out. You're always free to guess, though. ^^
Timeline. . .? .() Okay, let's see! For GW, way after (around 4 years) Endless Waltz. For SM, I guess two years after Stars, but I might have to alter the ages.
A Moebius strip, by the way, is a loop of paper with a half-twist in it, and as a result, only has one side and one edge. *scratches her head* I learned it from a manga called Psychometrer Eiji. That's the best explanation I can give, but you can look it up on the web. ^^;
*Taken from Digi-Esca Girl's bio. O_o I was just going through my favorites' favorites' favorites' lists and I stumbled on that quote. I wrote it into my story because. . .it totally fits with what I had Usagi say. Wow. :D (I love the quotes she's got! Especially her Tasuki ones because Tasuki is my man. m(o.o)m)
It is Usagi-centered for the most part, but the Senshi do play a role.
Thanks for reading =D Don't be afraid to review and ask what the hell I was smoking when I wrote this.