A/N notes: Yes, I just had to snatch that part from Glay's song! I love it! And thank you again for the feedback! It shouldn't take me so long to get the next chapter out, I am far from finishing this story yet, so please bear with me!

Chapter 9: I don't know how to love don't ask me why

Ootori couldn't concentrate in class at all. His mind kept wandering back to what had happened last night at Atobe's place.

If somebody had told Ootori in the beginning of the school year that he would start dating his captain and end up in bed with that very man, Ootori would've denied that possibility. He would never have believed it.

Now, that he had actually done it his thoughts were different. Ootori was different now. He still felt like he was supposed to feel guilty and disgusted with himself for some reason, but he wasn't. The only thing that troubled his mind at the moment was still how to break the news for his parents that he was dating another boy.

But right now, Ootori couldn't even be bothered by that. He was simply put in heaven.

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"So I guess you won our bet." Oshitari said, standing in the doorway to Atobe's class and signaling for the captain to come out and join him during recess.

Atobe followed Oshitari to a quiet place in the hall.

"So I guess you're going to have to spend one sexless week with your little wife." Atobe replied, as they stopped by a window.

"I guess so." Oshitari pressed on a miserable smile. "But it was worth it, seeing you chase after Ootori. How did he take it by the way?"

"How did he take what?" Atobe asked and Oshitari moved in closer to where he was standing.

"You know, the 'break up', when you dumped him this morning. Do you think he will come to practice today?"

Atobe paused for a while. "I haven't told him anything yet."

Oshitari quirked his eyebrows and fixed the glasses on his nose.

"I just thought since he's a regular I'd better let him have a day or two in between before I tell him." Atobe explained.

"Mmm, and he is so sweet too." Oshitari's voice let out how amused he was.

"…What?" Atobe shot him an eye.

"Nothing. It's just that you so seldom let anyone stick around long after you've gotten what you wanted."

"What are you implying?" Atobe asked. "You know Ootori was different." the captain said and looked out through the window. "He was the biggest challenge so far."

"And the biggest victory." Oshitari added and Atobe gave a nod. "How are you going to tell him?"

"I have a couple of ideas. Of course he might just come back and demand a better explanation…" Atobe sighed.

"He definitely seems like the type to do so. He doesn't seem to be the type to give up on a person before getting a damn good reason to do so." Oshitari agreed. "Well, we better get back to our classes. The recess is soon over."

"I'll see you at practice then." Atobe said.

"Yup, later." Oshitari waved over his shoulder.

Atobe walked back to his class and sat down. He stared blankly at the board in front of him.

Telling Ootori the truth would probably qualify for a damn good reason for Ootori to give up on him, but maybe he wouldn't have to. Maybe he could avoid having to resort to that and get rid off the boy in some other way.

Gentler way.

Where was Ootori's weak spot? Where was the boy vulnerable? His family. His religion. Atobe could easily turn a conversation over to his favor. He could tell Ootori that it was in both of their best interests to stop dating.

Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to date someone from the team after all. But on the other hand Atobe would leave in a couple of months anyway. It wouldn't be an issue for him then anymore.

He would just let Ootori believe they were lovers for just a day or two more, and then he would give him up.

But a day or two became the rest of the week and on the next Monday Atobe had made up his mind to go through with it already.

He hadn't really touched the other boy during that week, explaining to Ootori that he didn't want to hurt him and that the younger boy must still be sore etc. Ootori had seemed rather eager to be close to Atobe, of course being the natural response from a virgin…or a recently become non-virgin.

They did say that sometimes the second time could be even more exciting than the first, but Atobe wasn't going to test that theory with Ootori. He regularly didn't sleep with one guy twice, unless he was really in the mood that night.

Right now Atobe was seated on Ootori's bed and the younger boy had just returned to the room with some juice and crackers.

"I hope these are good, it's all I could find in the kitchen." Ootori smiled and sat down next to Atobe.

"They're fine." Atobe replied. "You didn't have to."

"I don't mind." Ootori smiled at him. "And my mom insisted I serve you something when you come over, I just hope she was still talking about the snacks…" Ootori murmured, placing a soft kiss on Atobe's cheek.

Noticing the distant feeling he got from Atobe when the captain didn't respond to him in any way, Ootori slowly backed away. "I'm sorry, is there something wrong?"

Atobe glanced at him quickly. "What makes you say that?"

Ootori blushed. "Well…you just…" don't hold me anymore, don't kiss me, don't seem to want to sleep with me a second time…we haven't seen each other so much this week like we used to before. "...You seem so thoughtful. Is there something on your mind?"

Atobe's gaze hit the carpet and Ootori noticed how the captain was clenching his glass tightly. He had never seen Atobe like this before. Something was clearly bothering him. Ootori feared the worst, naturally thinking he had caused Atobe to feel bad for some reason.

"You're right, something is wrong." Atobe finally spoke and Ootori felt his heart jump up into his throat.

"Wha…what is it?" the junior tried to sound somewhat normal. Atobe laid his eyes upon him.

"You were right all along." the captain said. "I can't hide."

The older boy let Ootori process the information for a while, seeing from the look upon Ootori's face when the boy had understood what he was talking about.

Atobe continued. "I'm sorry, I thought I could. Dating guys just seems too natural for me, so it's strange to suddenly have to hide it and to constantly have to remember that other people see it as wrong."

"You…said that you didn't mind, that it was no one else's business what we were doing." Ootori said confused. "What made you change your mind?"

"I realized how my relationship with you affected your tennis. I never wanted that. This was putting way too much stress upon you too and you shouldn't have to hide either, it will sooner or later kill you too." Atobe replied.

Ootori's head fell and he was now the one staring at the carpet. 'Kill me too?' At what point had their relationship taken such a turn? How come he hadn't noticed? Had he done something to displease his boyfriend?

"I'm sorry, but I've got to go." Atobe said and placed the glass down on the bed table and got up.

Ootori just sat there dumbfounded. In the background he heard Atobe open and close the door to his room and head towards the front door.

Ootori couldn't believe what had just happened, parts of him were seriously questioning if this was really happening at all or if he was having a nightmare or something.

Grabbing a hold on himself Ootori flew up from the bed, slamming his glass next to Atobe's and making a bee-line after the captain. Atobe wasn't inside the house anymore and Ootori didn't even bother telling his mother he was leaving, he just jumped into his shoes and scooted out the door.

"Atobe!" Atobe stopped, hearing Ootori's voice call after him. He was surprised that Ootori had followed him, he thought he had left the boy pretty confused.

Ootori stopped and panted for air in front of the other boy. "Was…was it me? Was… Did…I do…something?"

"Something?" Atobe pretended to not know what the younger boy was talking about and Ootori probably would've blushed if he hadn't been so flushed after running already.

"Did I do something wrong…back then?" Ootori then asked.

"No, of course not. You were fine." Atobe replied. "I told you already, this isn't working out. We'll only end up hurting each other."

"But you said that if you don't take a chance you'll never know!" Ootori protested. "How can you know now that it won't work out? I… I was going to tell my parents… someday, soon, when we-"

"Ootori, stop." Atobe's voice interrupted him and Ootori froze. Had Atobe just called him by his last name again?

Atobe sighed. The boy was stubborn. He guessed he would just have to use a more effective way next.

"I took a chance, because I thought that you could be a person I could fall in love and be happy with." he then explained and saw how Ootori's eyes were already glimmeringly wet. "I was wrong. I am not in love with you."

Ootori's face fell. "Oh." he mumbled and Atobe just watched him.

"I never told you I was in love with you either…" Atobe then added.

Ootori couldn't even bring himself to nod. Atobe indeed had never said such a thing, he had only hinted at a possible love between them. Ootori had just gotten so into the thought and believed the captain could actually have fallen for him at some point.

When Ootori this time didn't respond, Atobe slowly turned around and started to walk away.

"I am in love…" Ootori mumbled after the older boy, aware that Atobe probably couldn't hear him. Ootori couldn't move. He had failed to solve their problems and now he was losing Atobe. Perhaps it wasn't too late to fix things after all. Perhaps all Atobe needed was a little space or a little time.

A tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek.

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Atobe was surprised to see Ootori at practice the next day. He had been so sure that the younger boy would skip it after what had happened yesterday.

"Well, well, Atobe. It's been a week since the bet was decided and he is still in the picture." Oshitari's teasing voice came from behind him and Atobe turned to give the tensai a look.

"No, he's not." he corrected. "I dumped him yesterday."

Oshitari looked surprised. "Really? What a brave little kitten then, he showed up for practice and everything. Most guys you dump don't."

"It surprised me too, but the same goes for the ones you dump."

"Dumped." Oshitari corrected him back. "I think you said something yourself about me having a wife nowadays."

Atobe rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah."

Oshitari chuckled. "You didn't tell him about the bet, did you?"

Atobe threw the tensai another look.

"I thought so." Oshitari smirked and laid an arm around Atobe's shoulder. "That boy really turned you soft."

"I wouldn't say that." Atobe shot back with a grin.

"I meant that you usually want the guys you've conquered to know that they've been conquered. But Ootori, you let him go easily, didn't you?"

Atobe didn't reply. He was certain that the 'Ootori was my biggest challenge and is my team mate'-excuse wasn't going to work on Oshitari again.

Atobe's silence told Oshitari all he needed to know. "Why don't you just admit it then?"

The tensai was rewarded with another death glare from the captain. "Admit what?"

"That you have feelings for him." Oshitari replied and Atobe pushed the taller boy off.

"There is nothing to admit-"

"Then tell him he was just another bet." Oshitari smirked.

"Hey, is that guy new here?" Atobe then changed the subject, nodding towards a guy who looked like he was either a junior or a senior.

"Yeah, I think coach let him transfer to our club from the volleyball club." Oshitari answered.

"As the captain, I think it's my duty to welcome him." Atobe smiled to Oshitari and the tensai mirrored the expression.

"I guess so. He never did get a chance to meet you properly before landing on this team." Oshitari agreed and Atobe trailed off towards said player.

Ootori lifted his head from where he had been stretching. Atobe seemed to be moving over to talk with the new guy in the club, but there was something about Atobe's behaviour that caught Ootori's eyes. The captain looked like he was flirting with the new guy.

A few minutes passed before Atobe and the new guy were heading off towards the locker room. It was in the middle of practice and nobody else was in the said room. Ootori knew it wasn't really any of his business, but he couldn't help leaving practice to confront Atobe about what he was doing.

"Atobe!" Atobe stopped in the doorway and turned to face Ootori.

There was definitely something new about Atobe's behaviour: the tone in his voice, his attitude and those sharp blue-grey eyes weren't gazing upon Ootori with the same warmth anymore.

"Ootori." Atobe tried not to let his annoyance show. "Is there something you wanted?"

"I…" Ootori looked past him at the guy waiting inside the locker room. "What's going on?"

Atobe tried not to let the groan escape his lips. Hadn't Ootori understood their situation by now? "Well, talk later." the captain said to the new member and the boy walked past him and Ootori out of the locker room to continue on his training.

"Okay, look. I am not your boyfriend or your partner." Atobe's voice was stern as he locked eyes with Ootori. "We are not together anymore, I don't have to tell you what or who I am doing."

His whole appearance made Ootori jerk back, scared he might have offended his captain. "Atobe, no matter what the problem is I rather that we'd try to solve it than just run away from it…-" Ootori tried to console, in the background Atobe could see Oshitari watching them amused from the courts obviously enjoying his discomfort.

"Don't you get it, Choutarou ?" Atobe snapped and his voice made Ootori forget what he had been about to say next. "We are not on a break and we are not gonna fix things. It's over."

Ootori's eyes widened slightly, threatening to soon do the same teary eyed puppy routine like yesterday.

"You don't even know me. I am not what I've pretended to be." Atobe continued.

"Bu-but I'd like to. If you gave me a chance…" Ootori said in not much louder than a whisper.

Atobe sighed. "Would you really like to know who I am?"

Ootori nodded.

The captain leaned in and kissed him roughly. Ootori was taken aback and almost stumbled and fell when Atobe pulled him inside the locker room and slammed the door shut behind them.

Atobe broke the kiss as abruptly as he had started it, with Ootori hanging onto him for support. "I played you. You were all just a bet. If I slept with you before Valentine's Day was over, then I would win a bet."

Ootori's eyes widened and he pushed himself apart from his captain. "What? I… I don't believe you!"

"I knew you wouldn't agree to go to bed with me just like that so I started to date you instead." Atobe continued. "I made you think we were so in love so that you would trust me and maybe fall in love with me."

"That… No, that doesn't make any sense. Atobe, what's wrong with you-"

Atobe gave a sigh. "All I wanted was to sleep with you. Everything I did, pretended to be, was all to get you into bed."

Ootori shook his head. "No… Why would a person put all his energy into doing something like that?"

"You seem to underestimate the amount of guys who would." Atobe said. "You see, I could only benefit from having sex with you so I was highly motivated to make it happen."

"I…I don't understand."

"I was challenged into a bet over you. If I got you into bed then I'd win, if not I'd lose." Atobe repeated and Ootori shook his head again.

"I don't believe you." Ootori spit out. "You were totally different with me back then. You couldn't have pretended to be someone else for over a month just because of some stupid bet!"

"It's the truth." Atobe said in a sigh. "Ask Oshitari, he's the one who challenged me."

'Oshitari-senpai?'

"Hell, you could even ask Shishido, I bet he had a feeling of what was going on too."

'Shishido-san?' Ootori was confused. He wasn't sure what Atobe meant by that. On the other hand, he couldn't really process anything Atobe was saying right now.

There was a short silence, during which Ootori tried to make some sense out of what he was hearing and Atobe wondered if he would have to convince the younger boy with some other fun facts or if the boy was ready to give up on him already.

"Why?" Ootori then finally whispered.

Atobe didn't answer. It had all just been a game, that's why.

"How could you? I'm not the only one you've hurt, am I? I didn't want to believe what Shishido-san told me about you was true!" Ootori suddenly remembered Shishido warning him in the beginning of their relationship. The pieces were finally starting to fall together, but he was partly still refusing to see the truth about this person who just a week ago had been his first boyfriend and lover.

"So it was Shishido then." Atobe only replied, calmly. "Thought so."

"Eh?" Ootori was shocked how Atobe could be so carefree right now. "Don't you have any shame? How can you just treat people like that?"

"Well, you'll be glad to hear that most of the guys I sleep with are perfectly aware of the fact that I'm not interested in dating them. Including this new guy I was going to welcome over to the team when you interfered."

Ootori was totally speechless. How could his captain just be like that?

Tears of anger and hurt were starting to slowly run down from his eyes, and he was biting his lip so hard in order not to form any more tears. He didn't want to cry in front of Atobe.

"You used me." he uttered slowly.

"That's how the world works, I taught you a valuable lesson. If you're smart the next time you'll be able to see it coming and turn it to your advantage." Atobe replied and headed for the door.

"That's not how the world works!" Ootori protested. "Selfish behavior does not guarantee a good future with the people who care about you! The world does not work without love!"

Atobe stopped in his tracks. "I don't believe in love." he stated coldly. Gods, how he hated that word. "Don't come looking for me again." he threw a look over his shoulder. "I don't make it a habit to sleep with a guy I've already had once."

The captain jerked the door open and let it slam shut behind him, leaving Ootori staring at the door with his mouth practically hanging open. The junior snapped himself back to earth and without wasting any more time he snatched his tennis bag and headed out the door as well, leaving practice.

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A/N notes: May; I got a head start and have started to run already!