Chapter Three:

A Day in the (Not-So-)Normal Life

"I hate charms," grumbled James the next morning at breakfast.

"'Course you do James, " said Aragorn as he shoved an amazingly large hunk of toast into his mouth without choking. "Lily is much better than you in that class…. So much better…"

"I just think charms is stupid!" James retorted, Aragorn had struck a nerve.

"Well, grumbling about it isn't going to make it go away," sighed Legolas, "Trust me, I've tried oh so many times with Malfoy."

"Oh Professor Malfoy isn't that bad.." Sirius dismissed.

"Not to you! He's cruel and sadistic to the rest of the House," Legolas continued.

"Well… he.. and me mum are friends.. kinda," Sirius mumbled.

He received surprised glances from his friends, except for Boromir, who had found new and unusual fascination with his oatmeal.

"It looks kinda like a ring!" he exclaimed and unknowingly broke that oh-so-awkward silence.

"We're starting a very, very, very, exciting quarter today.." Flitwick stated at the beginning of class, his voice shaking with excitement.

"Dear God, we're going to do decoration charms again," said Legolas darkly.

The Marauders all exchanged horrified stares.

"This quarter we will be studying…" Flitwick paused for dramatic effect.

And it worked. At least half the room had their eyes closed, prepared for the worst.

"….WIZARD DUELS!" Finished Flitwick with an unnaturally large squeak.

There was more silence as the phrase soaked into the class. Then it broke into rather loud murmuring.

"Can he actually do that? Have us duel?" Lily asked her raven-haired friend.

"Well, apparently Lily," Wren answered with a smidge of sarcasm.

"But we could be injured," Lily continued.

"Yes, we could. Maybe life for the nurse is getting a bit boring," Wren nonchalantly stated.

" But Wren! There is no point in-" Wren cut her off.

"They probably want us to learn how to defend ourselves, Lily," Wren mumbled.

"From who?" Lily asked, getting a bit peeved.

"The Dark Lord, Lily," Wren said in an undertone, a bit annoyed herself.

"He's just a criminal, the ministry will catch him soon enough."

"Have you not been anywhere the past years? Honestly, I know you're in a Muggle house, but really! He's gaining followers. He's going to revolt,"

Their argument was cut short as the Professor called for order.

"Come now class! Let us begin!" The murmurs slowly faded out.

"Over the next ten weeks, we'll be covering the basics of dueling and all the charms to can do to defend yourself and attack you adversary, today, we'll just be using some of those Designing charms we learned last year!" There was a unanimous groan from the class.

Aragorn fell face first onto the table.

"I second that reaction," said Sirius gloomily as students started rising from their seats to duel-proof the classroom.

"At least it's not potions," sighed Remus as a final remark.

James looked thoughtfully at the lunch on his plate.

"We need to find a way into the kitchens. Soon." He proposed randomly.

"You know, we should… We could learn the secrets of the Hogwarts kitchen," Legolas agreed.

"..I bet they have it in a book somewhere in the-" Remus began.

"No!.. Not the 'L' word. We will not use it when Marauding around. It's an accursed word," Sirius said.

"So it's settled then. The Marauders next project will be to scope out the kitchens," James said finally.

"I still think we should go to the library," argued Remus.

Boromir looked up from his plate.

"We have a library?"

Remus stared at him with disbelief, mouth half open. The others blinked at him, not sure if it was a joke or not.

After a particularly long moment of silence, James shook his head and continued with finishing his lunch.

"Herbology," said Sirius indifferently as they made their way into the third greenhouse.

"I like Herbology," mused Aragorn, "Just hate it that we have it with Slytherin."

"Eh, it's an okay class, I guess," sighed Legolas.

"Well, today should be pretty good, green house three," said James as they entered the room.

"Come in and stand over there," kindly professor Sprout beamed.

"I think Sprout's done well, seeing as it's her first year of teaching," Sirius commented.

"Yes. Pity we'll have to break her bubbly and perky spirit," said Legolas with a sarcastic air.

"Pity indeed," said Sirius as he turned to James, "Which brings up an interesting subject. When should we start?"

"I think today is good," said James with a malevolent grin.

"Agreed," smirked Legolas as he watched Sprout approach a covered table.

"Today, we will be working with a fairly dangerous vine. They can be lethal if not worked with properly," she pulled the cover from the table to unveil several potted and rather mundane looking vines.

"Can anyone tell me what these are?" she asked benignly.

Aragorn raised his hand slightly.

"Yes?" professor Sprout pointed to him.

"They are Strangle Vines, known for their uncanny aim and healing properties in their roots."

"Very good, five points to Gryffindor!" she said delightedly.

"Today we'll be extracting the fluid in the roots for Madam Pomfrey. It makes an excellent sting cure. She tells me that she'll need some after what's in store for the seventh years next care of magical creatures class."

The Marauders looked at each other and silently agreed.

Sprout continued obliviously. "Now, if you touch strangle vines improperly," She pulled a dummy from under her desk and set it by the vines. "They will shoot out at the neck nearest to them." She took out her wand and a jet of blue struck the vine at its base.

It hissed loudly and shot from the pot and wrapped itself around the dummy's neck until bits of stuffing were protruding. Sprout stoked the vine and it immediately curled back into its pot, shivering once, then remaining still.

"As you can see, it is aptly named the strangling vine."

"Now, if you would please take out your extraction needles and gather in pairs and pick your plant." She spent twenty minutes going over the finer points of subduing the plants. Soon, everyone was slowly extracting the silverish fluid from the vines.

"So, I was thinking stunning charm," said Legolas over the table to James, whom was petting his vine as Sirius was draining it.

"And then… puppet hex?" asked Sirius.

"I don't know, won't a puppet curse just make it walk?" asked James.

"Yeah," said Aragorn, "It won't be that scary."

"Oh, they only work on people anyway," remembered Sirius.

"Walking around on their little roots," mumbled Boromir as he used two fingers to 'walk' across the table.

"What about an animate enchantment?" suggested Remus.

"Yeah, that'd be good." James silently stunned his vine, Legolas and Aragorn following suit with theirs.

"Everyone, get OUT!" screamed Sprout at the students through the tangle of hissing climbing vines.

"Do not panic, just make your way to the exit now!" she was attempting to calm everyone down. "Class dismissed!" she finally yelled in defeat.

"That was too good, Jim," stated Sirius as they all walked back to the tower.

"Without a doubt the best in at least 4 months," smiled Aragorn with his hands folded like a professor grading an assignment.

"Yes, but now that we have the rest of the day off, don't you want to find out just what kind of stinging something-or-others the seventh years will be dealing with?" asked James.

"Yes, but, firstly, the kitchens seem more pressing," said Aragorn.

"Well, We'll do that tonight then. No class until noon tomorrow anyway," said James.

The Marauders made their way across the grounds to where they housed all the magical creatures. Legolas leaned over one of the cages.

"Flobberworms? I hope he means for these to be fed to something more… interesting."

Sirius shrugged and peeked through a small slot of a large black cage.

"…Hinkypunks…?"

"You've got to be kidding!" yelled James in disbelief.

"But… But he… always puts the best stuff in there…" stated Aragorn.

"The other cages are empty…" said Remus upon further inspection. "Probably because to many of his creatures have runaway over the past five years."

"You're thicker than you look, Potter," said a silky voice from behind them. James groaned mentally. Sirius turned around and clenched his arm, ready to draw his wand.

"I mean, even Black could deduce that Kettleburn has moved the animals somewhere safer.." Snape continued lazily.

Sirius clenched his teeth to keep from saying anything to rash. He knew that they couldn't afford to loose house points to Snape.

"I've heard that Kettleburn even got his hands on some especially bloodthirsty beasts this year."

"Like what?" said Legolas coldly as he crossed his arms.

"Werewolf cubs," answered Snape with a malicious grin obviously aimed at Remus.

"Well, in that case, I hope one bites your hand off," said Sirius through clenched teeth.

"I'm sure your mother wishes the same for you, Black," retorted Snape.

Sirius took a step toward him but James held him back.

"We'd …hate...to stay and chat, Snivellus, but we must be leaving," said James as he led them into the opposite direction. Sirius pulled out his wand and waved it as they walked away, causing Snape to fall backward and hiccup convulsively unnoticeably to the other Marauders.

Hours later, the Marauders were in their dorm, plotting out the possible places Hogwarts kitchen could be.

"I think…that it's most likely under the Great Hall, like Aragorn said," said James, "Don't you think so Remus?" Just then the door swung open and Remus stumbled in, carrying an impossibly large pile of books and scrolls. He set them on the floor and flipped to a page marked with a piece of parchment.

"It's under the Great Hall, because the food is transported from the beneath it. The problem is, there are several possible ways to get in." He pointed to a picture of a pear tapestry. "It's either in there or-" he opened a thicker book to a painting of berries, "or here."

"Excellent Moony!" exclaimed James.

"Let's go," said Aragorn as he rose from his seat.

"Aren't we forgetting something feathers?" asked Sirius. Aragorn paused.

Remus unrolled a scroll with a map on it. Two X's had been marked on either side of the basement under the Great Hall.

"Right," said Aragorn, "Let's go now."

James held up finger for silence.

"McGonagall," said Legolas at the sounding footsteps.

All of them jumped up at once and began to pile all the scrolls and books in the one place where they wouldn't be noticed; Sirius's excessively unkempt bed. By the time McGonagall knocked upon the door, they were all behaving quite innocently.

The transfiguration professor cracked the door open.

"Good evening, gentlemen," she said benignly. "I just stopped by to have a word with Mr. Pike." Both Legolas and Aragorn stood up.

McGonagall paused momentarily. "I'll only need to be speaking with your brother, Legolas."

Legolas sat back down and shrugged in answer to Sirius's questioning glance. She led Aragorn out of the room for just a minute or so.

"Be sure to get some rest," she began upon reentering, "You have Transfiguration tomorrow and I don't want you sleeping through it," she looked at Sirius. "And try to do something about your bed, Black. I fear something might be spawning in it." And with that she left.

"What was all that about?" asked Remus.

"Nothing.. She was just reminding me we have a Prefect meeting tomorrow evening," Aragorn answered.

"Couldn't she have done that tomorrow in class?" asked James.

"I personally think her purpose was more of a-," Sirius spoke in his mock-McGonagall voice, "You all better stay put tonight because I suspect you're up to something and I'm putting a stop to it right now-" he resumed his normal manner of speaking, "type of visit."

"Yeah," said Legolas, " I think we should just put off the kitchens for tonight."

"I think we better stay put for tonight," suggested Remus.

"That's probably for the best Moony…" agreed Sirius.

Legolas sighed with a twinge of irritation at being ignored.

A/N:

I have return-inated.. It's been an UNGODLY large amount of time since this was first written. There was originally more here (where a plot started) But I thought it was entirely stupid, and realized there was already too much going on with the script, and I'll have to find a less novice way of putting it up… Garg.. so.. out of sync.. Don't.. know.. what to type! MUSE OF FANFICTION! APPEAR UNTO ME!

Tha Muse Poof Yo.

Me:. Ah. That's better. IDEA!

Tha Muse: Is just cool like that

Dumbledore drummed his fingers on the cold desk.

"Forgive me," began Gandalf, "If I fail to see how our sitting here is in any way helping mend the rift of the universes and/or dimensions."

Dumbledore met his eyes with a quirky half-glance.

"Generally, I'd point out that these things usually tend to work themselves out- but under these particular circumstances I'd say that I was full of dingo's kidneys."

"And I'd have to agree with you on that," retorted Gandalf. "Yet that statement doesn't help our current predicament."

"Indeed not…And still I fail to see what we can do to remedy this seemingly impossible problem," Dumbledore said with an air of annoyance.

Gandalf stood up.

"There's a million solutions to every problem. We just need to understand the equation better."

"You can keep talking in circles or you can explain yourself," drawled Dumbledore.

Gandalf ignored this and began pacing the room.

"Two dimensions, once separate now have a link…not a link, but a hole.. a .. tunnel.. between the two."

Dumbledore raised a bushy brow but nodded.

"..And yet controlled, normal forms cannot pass willingly between said tunnel. Therefore, another stimulus must have been in action," Gandalf paused for input.

"Yes.. The stimulus must've been the Elven mirror, we've established this-" stated Dumbledore.

"Yes. The Mirror. I thought so, too..But that's not possible. The dimensional rift affected not only my dimension but yours, too. The mirror is a product of my dimension restricted to its dimension; it's impossible that it could have torn a rift in your dimension."

"Like all things, the more complex a situation seems, the simpler it is.." smiled Dumbledore. "It seems we're finally getting somewhere. So what do you suppose created the rift on our end?"

"….It's highly improbable that two separate rifts where created by two separate substances in exactly the same moment in time and space…Therefore.. it has to have been by some trans-dimensional object.. What it could be, I have no idea.."

"I suppose it's back to waiting for an answer to fall in our laps then?" inquired Dumbledore.

Gandalf sighed and sat down, "Let's hope that the Muse is on our side….for time itself is certainly not." Dumbledore began to drum his fingers again.

A/n: My apologies if this is too hard to understand… I offer an explanation In the form of this!

Ford Prefect: I'm here representing the Douglas Adams Muses (inc). It's seems Starr here was inspired this chapter by Douglas's unique writing flare….

Albert Einstein: And also by my studies in Quantum Physics. Starr has immersed herself in it lately..

Me:..Yeah. It's really interesting, actually. The sad thing is, I used quite a few mathematical references in this chapter and I LOATHE math….Ironic, no?