A/N notes: Thank you for reading and thank you for your lovely feedback! I am in awe! So much in awe that I actually feel pretty speechless (for once!) ;D So I'll just let you get onto the chapter!
Short note: Yes, I do have a thing for cute and pretty boys cross-dressed especially in their schools' girls' uniforms :D Fuji, Gakuto… Aww, lucky Tezuka and Oshitari! XD
Chapter 11: Stop loving me
Atobe eyed the tennis practice on the courts. He hadn't seen Ootori move so well in a long time. The junior seemed to be in a good form and Atobe was kind of relieved to see that Ootori was doing better.
For the sake of his tennis, of course! Ootori was valuable to the team.
Ootori and Shishido won the doubles match against Oshitari and Gakuto. The pair seemed determined to play their best and won also quite easily, but on the other hand Oshitari and Gakuto did seem a little worn out…
Atobe let his thoughts drift from tennis to other subjects. He didn't understand how Oshitari could settle for having sex only with the same guy, although the tensai was creative enough to be able to keep such a relationship alive. Not that Atobe wasn't creative enough to be able to do the same if he really wanted to settle for one guy…
Atobe eyed Ootori on the court. The boy was filled with energy it seemed. Ootori served another scud serve hard onto the other side of the court.
Glancing to the side of the court Atobe could see Shishido, Oshitari and Gakuto sitting on the ground drinking from their water bottles. They were having some discussion, but Atobe noted how Shishido kept sending looks at his doubles partner on the court.
Atobe let out a tiny smirk. This shouldn't be too hard. Shishido was obviously still attracted to Ootori. Atobe would win this bet they had placed earlier today as easily as he had won the previous one. And with Ootori dating Shishido and Oshitari not being able to throw comments at him anymore, Atobe could finally get a peace of mind.
Practice ended and Atobe noted how Ootori left the locker room without saying a word to him. He had seen the younger boy stealing looks at him, but Ootori had just silently dressed, said goodbye to his doubles partner and taken off…
…leaving Atobe alone with Shishido.
As soon as the door to the locker room clicked shut Shishido spoke out, much to Atobe's surprise. "It's amazing how you've still gotten him wrapped around your finger."
It seemed as if Shishido had also noticed Ootori's looks at Atobe. Atobe packed his towel down into his bag. Jealousy, the captain noted. Perfect.
He turned to face Shishido and the shorter third year continued talking, "Let's get some things straight, I don't hate you-"
"Why, Shishido, that warms my heart." Atobe mocked. Obviously Ootori's good manners had affected Shishido.
"…but I do occasionally have something against you, your methods." Shishido then continued, sounding more than slightly annoyed. "You left Choutarou practically in pieces. He had never experienced either love or heartache before."
"Mmm, I guess I was his first in those areas as well." Atobe said, knowing fully well that the thought of Atobe and Ootori together could drive Shishido crazy. The shorter third year fisted his hands.
"Dammit, you knew how I felt for him all along and you still went after him!" Shishido snapped.
"Then you should have made a move a little sooner!" Atobe snapped back, surprising Shishido who fell quiet. Atobe rarely lost control no matter what the situation was. The captain let out a big sigh. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Just a minute ago he had been so calm and collected.
"You can only blame yourself that you didn't move on him before I did, before I even laid my eyes upon him. You might've saved him." Atobe then continued, a little calmer this time.
"Che…" Shishido muttered. "You probably would've taken him away from me anyway and then dumped him into the trash. Well, now he knows. I've told him everything, you can't use him again."
"Everything but not about your feelings for him, I bet." Atobe added and Shishido sent him a warning look. "You still left him in the dark about them, didn't you?"
"I told him I was gay, if that's what you mean." Shishido spoke through gritted teeth. "You can't use that against him either."
"Hmm, you know I may have used him but at least now he is all open to homosexuality and knows that you're gay." Atobe commented. "What are you still waiting for? Go and get him."
Shishido gave a short laugh. "And do what? You made sure he would never look upon me as anything more than a friend-"
"Well, I'm sure that after you came out and told him everything that he opened his eyes for that possibility too. If not then I can convince him otherwise, then would you kindly leave me out of your love problems?" Atobe shot back and Shishido hesitated.
"Unfortunately it's not me that he wants." Shishido muttered. "To think that he can still feel for you after everything you did to him. And not to mention after everything he knows you've done to others. He loves you, you know."
Atobe frowned, getting a headache. They were onto his favorite subject again. "People fall in and out of love all the time."
Shishido shook his head. "Not Choutarou, and you know it. He will hang onto you. So thanks for your generous offer to play matchmaker, but I rather see Choutarou happy with someone who could actually make him happy."
"And what makes you think I'd make him happy?" Atobe shot back.
"I don't." Shishido answered. "But he does, so I'll just trust that he knows what he's doing." the other boy said and stepped closer. "Oh, and just so you know, I'll be helping him to get to you if or when the time comes. It's the least I can do."
Atobe bit back a groan as Shishido pushed past him. Somehow this whole session had backfired and Shishido was now threatening to pair him up with Ootori.
At least he had succeeded in bringing Shishido's feelings up to the surface and made the shorter boy give them some thought. Anger was always good. People say a lot of stuff when they're mad that they might want to live to regret later on.
But would this endless circle never end? How many times would Atobe have to hurt Ootori in order to get the younger boy to stop loving him? He guessed he would just have to have yet another talk with his 'ex-boyfriend'. Maybe he could scare Ootori off to find comfort in Shishido's arms.
Atobe couldn't understand what had gotten into Shishido, though. He had thought for sure that Shishido would try to make a move after he was done using Ootori. But no, all of a sudden Shishido was being very understanding and willing to give up the junior back to Atobe, no less.
Atobe silently wondered if Oshitari could have his fingers involved in Shishido's change of mind. He had seen the tensai and his wife hang out with Shishido during club practice… Or was the grumpy third year really giving up on Ootori because he thought it was for the best?
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Ootori opened the door to his home and stepped in. Practice today had been hard as usual, but Ootori had still somehow managed to find the strength to afterwards wander around for almost an hour lost in his thoughts.
Ootori sighed and made his way to his room. He wished he wouldn't think about Atobe so much. He wished he could hate the captain because that would make it all a lot easier for him, but he didn't. After everything Ootori found that he was still in love with the older boy and the memories of being with Atobe and believing in his lies wasn't something he regretted anymore.
At least he had lived a time when he had been totally happy and he had gone to bed with the boy responsible for his happiness. It didn't matter so much anymore that Atobe had only been taking advantage of him.
Ootori still cherished the time he had spent with Atobe, even if the captain had just pretended, even if none of it had been real, even if it made him look like such a love sick puppy. Ootori still loved Atobe.
Opening the door to his room, the junior walked in still as deep inside his thoughts as before and dropped off his tennis bag next to the table. Suddenly a voice came from inside his room and almost caused him to jump through the ceiling in surprise.
"Welcome home."
Ootori span around to find his captain lying on the bed with his hands tucked behind his head.
"How was your day?" the older boy continued and Ootori just blinked.
"Atobe…"
Atobe propped himself up to lie on one side. "Your mother let me in. She was just on her way out when I came over, but she was kind enough to show me to your room."
"T-that was not very smart, Atobe. To come over unannounced, I mean. I… I've told her about you and me." Ootori stuttered and Atobe paused.
"…You've what?"
"I-…It was right after you had broken up with me the last time you had been here. I thought that maybe I could still fix things between us if I told my parents about us so that we wouldn't have to hide anymore… But obviously I was wrong." Ootori confessed. He felt so stupid once again, but at least he didn't have to hide this part of him from his parents anymore.
Atobe sat up straight. "So, they know?" the captain sounded like he didn't believe his ears and Ootori just nodded.
"Hai, they know. And they're really okay with it." Ootori looked down. "They…um, still think we're dating. I never told them anything about the breaking up part…"
"Really… That explains the look she gave me when I showed up at your door. Well anyway, I'm happy for you that they've accepted you." Atobe said, still a little stunned after the new information and Ootori watched him suspiciously.
"You are?" the younger boy asked and Atobe patted the bed for Ootori to come and sit down next to him. "Thanks, but I'll stand."
"Suit yourself." Atobe then shrugged and lied down on his back again. "I've come here to tell you to get over me already. If you walk around and regret the past, you'll miss the now."
"But I don't regret." Ootori replied and Atobe eyed him to continue. "I don't regret the past. I mean, at first I did, but then I just couldn't anymore. If I could go back in time I wouldn't change what happened between us…-"
Ootori stopped and realized he had been babbling. He couldn't help it, Atobe was still Atobe and Atobe had been the one he had dared to open his heart to in the first place. "S-so why are you here? I didn't think you'd care to check up on a guy you've already had once…"
Atobe sighed and sat up. "Let's just say I'm doing an old friend a favor."
Ootori's gaze fell. He knew it. Atobe would never care enough about him to actually come all the way here to see how he was doing.
"Oh." Ootori mumbled.
"You know what I have found being very effective to get over one guy…" Atobe then said and caught Ootori's gaze again. "…moving onto the next one. I know that's not your style, but you might want to open your eyes and see what other possibilities you have around you. One doubles partner in specific…"
One doubles partner? Did Atobe mean Shishido? Ootori clutched his fists together. Atobe had better leave Shishido out of their problems! The captain had already talked Shishido over not to tell Ootori about his games, Ootori would not let Atobe toy with his other senpai even more.
"Leave Shishido-san out of this! I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't want anyone else! I want you!" Ootori then blurted out in all his anger, realizing what he had said when it was too late.
"You can't have me. I don't date." Atobe replied sternly and sent him a piercing look. "I sleep with whoever I want, whenever I want. Could you be with a boyfriend like that?"
There was a moment of silence and Atobe almost thought he had won that argument, when noticing Ootori's fists tightening together and the junior spoke out from between gritted teeth, "I wouldn't mind."
"What?" Atobe asked.
"I don't mind. Even if you sleep around, even if you'll never let me know you, even if you'll never feel anything for me…I don't mind." Ootori said determined. "Because I love you."
"You can't love someone you don't know." Atobe stated.
"Then how come I feel this way for you? And who are you to decide on a thing like that? You don't know how to love! And furthermore you don't even believe in it!" Ootori shot back, but to his surprise his captain merely smiled and winked him over.
"Then come over here." the older boy said. Atobe wanted to see how serious Ootori really was about his decision. "If you really think you can love me without knowing who I am, watching me be unfaithful over and over again and knowing I'll never love you back the way you love me, then come over here and take off your clothes."
Ootori felt as if he had just been hit by something heavy. His feet rooted themselves to the ground and his body didn't want to move.
Atobe shot him a victorious smile. "If you play on my terms, I'll let you be around me. If you put out everytime I feel like it or come onto you, I might consider referring to you as my so-called boyfriend. Also if you get lost when I tell you to, we can continue seeing each other."
Ootori hesitantly took one step forward and then another. His body was so tense with all the dizzy excitement and nervousness that was rushing through him that he could barely move at all.
As he finally reached the bed, much to Atobe's surprise but also amusement, the captain grabbed him by the belt and dragged him down onto the bed and under the taller boy. Ootori gave out something that sounded like a gasp as Atobe's demanding hands took him by his waist and under his chin, forcing eye contact on the boy.
"Oh, and I should probably mention that I don't always feel like being the romantic love-making type." Atobe added and crushed lips onto Ootori's neck, causing him to whimper out from both pain and pleasure as Atobe's teeth scratched against the skin there. Assaulting hands ran over his upper body.
Ootori wasn't prepared for Atobe to be this rough, especially since the captain had only made love to him once before, but Ootori wouldn't give up just yet. Maybe if he let Atobe love his body, then maybe one day the captain would also fall in love with the person on the inside.
Atobe removed his lips from the neck and brought their faces together. "On the other hand. You are not cut out for this and I don't feel like tying myself down to someone even if it is in an open relationship."
Atobe got up. "I'll tell you this now, give up that fantasy world of yours and concentrate on something you can actually have. Don't waste your time."
Ootori slowly sat up, pulling his shirt back in place to cover the already bruised neck. "I'll never be good enough for you, will I?"
Atobe paused for a while, before leaning down and placing his lips over Ootori's in a quick kiss. "I told you, you were fine." the captain smirked, knowing that that wasn't exactly what Ootori had meant, and walked out of the room.
Ootori let his face drop into his hands.
Once more he was left with heartache and an urge to run after Atobe and make it alright, but it wasn't possible.
Ootori now knew there was no way he could ever have Atobe, but he didn't want to let go and move on. He didn't want to. Even if he'd end up spending his time wallowing in heartache, Ootori couldn't bring himself to give up on his first love like this.
Sighing Ootori thought he might as well release some stress by going out and practicing on his serve again. That had become his personal therapy ever since Atobe had dumped him.
Opening his bag Ootori noticed he was once again missing his racket.
The boy couldn't be sure that he had actually remembered to pack it down this time. He had been spacing out a lot lately so it was possible he had left it in the locker room.
Ootori grabbed his bag and walked out. At least he could release some stress by walking back and forth between his home and the locker room if there was no one else left at club practice when he reached the place.
To his surprise the door to the locker room was open and this time Ootori made sure he stomped loudly when approaching it, just in case he would run into someone having a private time in the said place again.
Stepping in through the door he found Oshitari and Gakuto sitting on the bench and sharing a kiss. Or to be more precise Oshitari sitting on the bench, Gakuto sitting in his lap and the two of them sharing an intimate kiss.
Ootori blushed, remembering what he had caught them doing the last time and coughed as he entered.
Oshitari and Gakuto both turned their attentions towards him together.
"I'm sorry to disturb, I forgot my racket." Ootori explained and made his way over to his locker.
"Here!" Gakuto said and threw him something that reminded Ootori very much of his racket. Ootori inspected the object in his hands. It was his racket.
"Thanks, Mukahi-senpai." the junior gave a small bow, about to excuse himself when Oshitari's voice came next.
"Come and sit down with us." the tensai moved over to one side of the bench, with Gakuto still in his arms, leaving a spot open for Ootori to sit on.
"Uh, sure…" Ootori hesitated but obeyed.
"See I told you he would come after his racket if we hid it again." Gakuto said and nudged his boyfriend playfully.
"Ah, you were right." Oshitari replied with a smile.
"Excuse me?" Ootori asked and the doubles pair turned to him.
"We were just hoping you would come back if we let you think you had forgotten your racket. We hid it and waited outside for the locker room to be empty so that we could use it in private then. Knowing you, it would probably take a while before you realized your racket was missing." Oshitari explained and Ootori blushed. "We wanted a chance to talk with you since you were so busy during club practice today."
Ootori was taken aback by how Oshitari had been able to predict how he would react so easily. The junior just hoped they didn't know he had forgotten his racket once before and almost walked in on them in action, and that's what they wanted to discuss now.
But then again the way Gakuto had said 'again' indicated differently. Maybe he hadn't really forgotten his racket that time either…
Gakuto grinned and patted his arm.
"Don't worry, we're not here to talk about the last time you came back here for your racket but found us instead…" Gakuto filled in and Ootori blushed even more. So they had noticed him after all.
"We know about you and Atobe." Oshitari then said and Ootori felt his heart miss a beat, his gaze sank to the floor.
"Yeah, um, I've been wanting to ask you something about that." the junior mumbled. "Atobe said you and him had made a bet over me."
"Atobe's right." Oshitari replied and Ootori eyed him in slight disbelief. "And that's pretty much why we wanted to talk with you. You see, I've made another bet with Atobe."
Ootori blushed furiously and stood up. "How can you? I am not your toy and I am not going to fall for anymore of your bets!"
"Calm down, it's not what you think." Gakuto assured, but Ootori remained on his guard where he stood. Atobe had showed up at his house all of a sudden! He should've known they were betting on him again!
Ootori could just see it in his head:
Atobe: How much do you wanna bet I can score with him again?
Oshitari: You're on, although it worked so well for you the last time…I might just lose again.
There was no way he was going to let Oshitari and Atobe humiliate him like they had done the previous time.
Oshitari sighed. "The bet has got to do with you, but it's not about getting into your pants this time. You see, Atobe likes you."
Ootori gave a short, but bitter laugh. "Yeah right, I don't think so. In that case he sure hides it well…-"
"Of course he does." Oshitari replied and Ootori looked at him quite shocked. "That's one of the things he's really good at."
"So how would you know it then?" Ootori asked, playing along.
"Because I know Atobe. I'm the one person even he can't hide it from." Oshitari answered. "Look, Atobe may not believe in love and he may not fit in a relationship, but he is falling. So if you're still willing to give it a try, I might be able to lend you a hand…"
"What…are you saying?" Ootori asked and found it hard to even swallow at the time. "Are…Are you saying Atobe is really falling for me?"
Ootori didn't want to believe, fearing that he was just being misled by the two players again. He feared what new intentions they might have in store for him this time. Maybe they're even using him to get to some new guy.
Gakuto smiled and pulled on his sleeve, getting him to sit down on the bench again. "We're saying if you want Atobe, we will help you get him."
"Why? I mean, aren't you Atobe's best friend?" Ootori looked at Oshitari again.
"Of course, but as his friend I only want to see Atobe happy." Oshitari smirked. "And a cute thing like you could make any guy happy." Oshitari added and tilted the younger boy's face up by placing a hand under Ootori's chin.
Gakuto hugged his boyfriend and Ootori couldn't help feeling slightly envious over his two senpais' relationship. Oshitari and Atobe were both so alike, but Oshitari could still send Gakuto smiles full of love and feelings while Atobe refused to ever let another person close. The doubles pair in front of him seemed so happy together.
"Yeah, let's just say that there is something about certain cute ukes that can turn even the worst player into a boyfriend." the redhead winked to Ootori. "They might think they're playing us, but they are really just playing themselves right into our arms."
"So what do you say?" Oshitari then cut in, feeling slightly targeted by Gakuto's statement.
Ootori looked back and forth between the two boys. "Why should I trust anything you tell me?"
"You shouldn't." Oshitari laughed. "But what have you got to lose?"
Ootori was silent for a while. It was true. If this would end up being just another game then what did Ootori really have to lose anymore? He had already lost Atobe, the first person he had fallen in love with.
Plus if the two players really wanted to toy with him again, then there was really nothing Ootori could do to stop them anyway.
"So, what do you think?" Gakuto interrupted his thoughts. The redhead shot him a challenging smile where he hanged over his boyfriend. "Do you want to play Atobe?"
Ootori hesitated at first, but then he slowly mirrored Gakuto's smile. He wanted to one day be in Gakuto's situation and hang onto Atobe's shoulder like that, with Atobe actually wanting him close as well.
Ootori realized he might just be getting his hopes up too high again, but if there was even the slightest chance that Oshitari and Gakuto were on his side and they could help him win Atobe back…
The youngest boy of the three gave a slow nod.
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A/N notes: Thank you one more time for reading! There's not insanely much left on this fic, and I'll try to get the next chapter out asap. Thank you again!