Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry for the cliff, but awww it's fun to do that to you guys and play with your emotions like that, hehe. Enjoy the new chapter!
PART II- Chapter 18.
Syd's POV"Vaughn… I'm late." I finally managed to choke out, covering my face with my hands.
After what felt like an eternity of silence, I brought my eyes up to meet Vaughn's. By then, his hands were shoved in his pockets nervously while the blood in his face had drained, leaving him looking unnaturally pale.
He leaned against the dresser quietly, staring directly at the opposite wall. I was afraid of how he was going to react. Whether he was going to be angry, upset, or panicked. The last thing I expected was for him to be dead silent.
"But we…" He murmured.
"I know Vaughn." I answered, knowing exactly what he was going to say.
"We were careful… we used protection."
"It's not our fault." I told him as I grabbed his hands and pulled him to sit next to me on the bed.
Fortunately, Vaughn was able to gain some sense of awareness again while he squeezed my hand reassuringly. We sat there again in stillness, the both of us not knowing what to say or who to speak first. I had never imagined this would be happening to us.
"Uhh, how many days late are you?" He asked while shifting his body to face mine.
"4 days."
"How do you feel? Different? Sick?"
"Physically, I feel fine." I sighed. "Emotionally, I've never been so scared in my life. You and I are two of the most responsible people out there."
I couldn't hold back my tears any longer and broke down in Vaughn's arms. Sobs racked my body as Vaughn held on to me tightly, running his hand over my back soothingly. I clung to him like my life depended on it, making sure he knew I couldn't do this on my own.
"So what do you want to do?" He questioned still holding me in his arms. "I could run to a 24 hour store and get you a pregnancy test. We could schedule a doctor's appointment so we know for sure, Syd. It's up to you."
"I… don't know, Vaughn. I can't even think right now."
"Look at me." He stated firmly, cupping my face in his hands. "I'm not going anywhere, ok? We're going to get through this. This could be just a false alarm or something. But… I'm not going to run out on you. If any, this is my fault."
"No! Vaughn, don't blame yourself for this. I was obviously very much there when it happened."
"I know… Sydney, we're going to be ok. We're always ok." He reassured me. "Do you want to know right now?"
"Honestly, no. I'm too emotionally drained right now. I wouldn't be able to take going through the pregnancy test tonight." I murmured.
Nodding his head in agreement, Vaughn wiped away the tears on my face while I attempted to stop crying. I knew being upset wouldn't help the situation. But I was terrified. A million questions began to fill my head. The first thought that popped into my head was that we weren't ready.
I knew I wasn't ready. I was 19 years old, only in my second year of college and I was possibly pregnant. The consideration of a baby growing inside of my body at that very moment should've been one joy and excitement. Instead, it left a pit in my stomach and a knot in my throat. In no way was I prepared to raise a baby.
After the tears had finally stopped, Vaughn released me from his arms as I moved across the bed and slipped under the covers, not bothering to take off my jeans or any other clothing. Vaughn followed me shortly after, slipping off his jeans and t-shirt before climbing over to my side and throwing his arm over my stomach.
"Try not to think about it, ok?" He whispered into my ear.
And as much as I wanted to listen to Vaughn, my mind wouldn't let me. My body felt exhausted, but my mind felt active. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy night.
The next morning when my eyelids fluttered open, I awoke with a splitting headache. The emotion spent on the night before mixed with the lack of sleep had taken a toll on me. I moved over to my right, hoping to snuggle up to Vaughn's body only to feel the side of his bed cold and empty. Instead, a yellow piece of paper was stuck to his pillow.
Syd-I went to the gym with Weiss. If you need anything, please call me. I'll bring home breakfast for you after I'm done.
MV
I took a glance at my alarm clock and realized that it was 10 minutes after 10 o'clock. I knew if I fell back asleep I wouldn't be able to get up for the rest of the day, so I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen.
Francie was sitting at the kitchen counter, thumbing through the latest food magazine and drinking a cup of warm coffee.
"Morning Syd." She greeted me. "There's a fresh pot of coffee waiting for you."
Just as I was about to run over and pour myself a big cup, I remembered coffee wasn't good for women when they were pregnant. Not that I knew I was pregnant or anything, but I didn't want to take the chance. Instead, I poured myself a cold glass or orange juice that surprisingly tasted refreshing.
"Eric and I were going to take a ride around the city today. There's an Arts and Wine Festival near North Beach if you and Michael want to come. I heard there's lots of people, music and great food. Are you guys in?" Fran asked, taking another sip from her coffee mug.
"Actually, we're probably going to take it easy today. Both of us are drained from this week so you guys go and have some fun."
"Aww, ok. I'm sure Weiss will sneak you guys back some food. If you change your mind, we're not leaving until around 1."
"Thanks. I'll tell Vaughn, but I'm pretty sure he wants to stay in." I responded.
I was reluctant on whether or not to tell Francie about the situation. Not only was she my roommate and best friend, but I knew I could count on her for good advice. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell Fran, I just didn't know if Vaughn wanted anyone else knowing. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with Fran knowing I could possibly be pregnant.
Deciding that I was going to tell her anyways, I bit my lip nervously before finally breaking the silence.
"Fran… I have to ask you something. Have you, have you ever been late? You know, as in a few days late with your period?" I asked quietly.
"A couple of times, but that was in high school and I was pretty active so my cycle was out of whack. Why? You're not… are you… wait…"
She didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. The tears sprang to my eyes again as I was unable to keep my emotions in check. It was all too much to take.
"How many days, Syd?" Fran questioned.
"As of this morning, 5. I told Vaughn last night."
"Oh god, how was he?"
"Surprisingly ok." I sighed. "He was more calm about it than me. I must've cried for hours last night not knowing what to do. And Vaughn just held me and told me it was going to be ok. At first he looked a little pale. But, he handled it well."
"You need to take the test, Syd. It's the only way you guys are going to know for sure. Waiting and anticipating is one of the worst things to do because you keep thinking about it. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you know."
"I know." I murmured. "Today. I'll do it today."
"Well, we'll be gone so you guys can have some privacy. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. If I were in your position I would be a complete wreck."
After finishing my orange juice, I decided a nice, hot bath would calm my nerves before Vaughn returned from the gym. I lit a couple of my favorite candles in the bathroom and slipped into the warm water.
My head pounded and my hands quivered. The realization that in 9 months I could possibly be having a baby suddenly hit me while I leaned my head back against the bathtub. I wondered what everyone would think of me if I had a baby.
Mostly, I worried about my father and how he would take it. There's no doubt in my mind that one day he would make a fantastic grandfather, but not now. I feared for Vaughn more than I feared for myself. My father would be sure to hurt Vaughn as much as possible without killing him.
I sighed again in frustration. This couldn't happen to me. This couldn't happen to us. Out of all the people in the world, why us? We were careful. We did everything they said we were supposed to do. And yet, I was the one stuck in this dreadful situation.
Francie was right. There was no way of escaping this. I had to take the pregnancy test today and just get it over with. The feeling of not knowing was nearly killing me. Taking deep breaths to try and relax, I began to calm myself before taking one of the biggest steps in my life.
Vaughn's POV"Dude, Mike you alright? You ran like 2 extra miles on the treadmill and you've been quiet all morning. What's up with you?" Weiss asked while I hopped off the treadmill.
"Nothing man. I don't want to talk about it."
"Maybe you should. You can't hold it all in. Tell me." He insisted.
I did want to tell Weiss because I knew it would make me feel better and talking about it with someone might help, but I also felt like that stuff between Syd and I should be kept quiet. I didn't want to have to deal with Weiss telling Francie and Francie telling Syd she knows. It was better off keeping things a secret.
"I can't." I sighed. "I feel uncomfortable telling you."
"I think I know what it is anyways. I might act dumb sometimes and say stupid things, but I am attentive to what's going on."
"Yeah? So what's going on with me?" I asked curiously.
"Syd thinks she's pregnant." Weiss stated flatly.
"What… how did you…"
"When we walked in last night, I heard Syd crying from your room. Francie and I didn't want to invade or disrupt you guys so we let it go. But then after Fran went to go take a shower, I overheard Syd say she wasn't ready for a baby. Plus, this morning when we were picking up Gatorade from the store you kept staring at the pregnancy tests."
"Oh, so you know."
"What are you guys going to do?"
"I guess what we have to do is find out for real if she's pregnant or not." I murmured. "I'll do whatever Sydney decides she wants. I'm nervous as hell and a complete wreck over this, but I'm going to be there for her whatever happens."
"I know you will. You love her more than anything else so I would never doubt you Mike." Weiss smiled. "And so you know, Fran and I are there for you guys, ok?"
"Thanks Weiss. I appreciate that."
"That's what best friends are for." He joked, lightly punching me in the shoulder.
On the way home I remembered I promised Syd breakfast and ran quickly into the bagel shop knowing that should make her feel better. I felt terrible about leaving early this morning and her waking up to see that I wasn't there. But, I needed to work out and ease my stress. Being cooped up in that apartment was beginning to drive me insane.
I dropped my gym bag on the floor after I entered and called out Syd's name a few times to see where she was. After receiving no answer, I made my way into the room and heard the radio softly playing from the bathroom.
I didn't want to startle her so I knocked on the door. When I walked in, Syd was resting peacefully in a huge bubble bath with scented candles let around the bathroom. Knowing how much I desperately needed a shower and that Sydney was without any clothes on under the bubbles, I had to refrain myself from stripping off my clothes and jumping right in.
"Hey…" I whispered, bringing my hand up to lightly stroke her face.
"Hi, how was your workout?"
"It was ok. I brought you home a bagel. Are you hungry?" I asked.
"Starved. You didn't bring me home coffee did you? Because, I uh, I can't drink that if I'm… you know."
"Oh… no I didn't bring you coffee."
An awkward silence fell over us for a few seconds. While there were hardly any awkward moments between Syd and I in the past, neither of us knew what to say about the situation. Instead, we both waited for each other to speak or change the subject.
"So, I was thinking today…" She finally said.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to take a pregnancy test. You know, if that's ok with you."
"Sydney, I said whatever you want to do I'll support you. Besides, I think this is the right thing to do anyways. At least we'll know." I told her, grabbing her wet hand.
"I guess we'll do it after Francie and Weiss leave? They're going to this festival today. They asked me if we wanted to come, but I said we weren't up to it. Unless, you do want to go?"
I shook my head. "No. It's fine. We can stay here and do this thing in private."
Squeezing her hand tightly, I then brought it up to my lips and planted a kiss on her knuckles. She smiled nervously as she looked up into my eyes. Her big dimples peeked out from her cheeks while I kept her hand in mine.
When Syd finally exited the bathroom, I quickly jumped into the shower. The steaming hot water eased the tension out of my sore muscles. At the time, my legs showed no signs of tiredness after running those 7 miles on the treadmill. But the pain quickly hit my legs and shoulders as soon as I entered the apartment.
Francie and Weiss left after lunchtime leaving Syd and I to go to the store to pick up the test. When we got there, it was overwhelming at first. They had 3 or 4 shelves full of pregnancy test and neither of us knew exactly what we were looking for.
I didn't want to look like an idiot and ask one of the workers either. I somehow felt odd going up to the pharmacy counter and saying, 'Hi. I think I may have got my girlfriend pregnant at the age of 20. Can you help us pick out the right pregnancy test?' No way. I wasn't ready to embarrass myself like that.
After looking through all the shelves, Syd finally picked one that looked easy to use. She looked tentative at first to buy it, but I reassured her by telling her everything was going to be ok. I was beginning to feel somewhat like a broken record.
I was scared out of my mind after we got home and Syd quickly went to the bathroom to do her business. I sat nervously on the couch, nipping away at my already destroyed fingernails. I had told Sydney more than a hundred times that everything was going to work out. I managed to ease her stress, but failed to reassure myself.
A million thoughts started running through my head. The biggest thought was that Syd could possibly be carrying my child at that very moment. I always pictured myself having kids one day. I always thought of myself as becoming a family man. But, I never thought I might be having a kid during my second year of college.
We sat in silence for a few minutes watching this stupid white stick thinking it could change our lives forever. It was somewhat surreal knowing that this stick had the complete power over us and what was about to come.
Finally, after waiting the full ten minutes, Syd bent down to take a look at the results. Before she could see, I grabbed her elbow.
"Wait." I stopped her.
"What, Vaughn? This could be huge."
"Whatever the results turn out to be. If you're pregnant or not, I want you to know that I love you and I'm going to be here for you through whatever happens."
"Oh Vaughn!" She sobbed, unable to hold back her emotions once again.
I pulled her into a quick hug before kissing her on her forehead and releasing her from my arms. My heart pounded in my chest and my palms were becoming ridiculously sweaty. The anticipation was going to kill me before anything else.
Bending down to take a closer look at the stick, I studied it before letting out a huge sigh of relief.
"I'm not pregnant." Syd sighed. Throwing herself back against the couch.
A big feeling of relief spread over me. All of my fears that were popping up into my head were now all gone. My heart still pounded loudly in my ears, but it was slowly going back to normal speed. Wiping my sweaty palms against my pants, I closed my eyes for a second to relax.
"Well, that had to be the biggest scare of our lives." I joked. "So how does this explain why you're late?"
"I have no idea. I guess it could be stress." She murmured.
Looking over to see Syd's face, I saw that tears were now streaming down her face. I knew it had to be one heck of an emotional roller coaster for her, but I didn't know if it were tears of happiness or tears of sadness.
"You ok?" I asked while I rubbed my hand up her bare arm."
"Yeah… I just… I don't know." She whispered. "It's almost too much to take. I've actually been preparing myself for the thought of being pregnant since I found out I was late yesterday. Now knowing I'm not is a relief, but it also makes me sad, you know? Cause even though I was scared, I knew we would've been ok."
"One day Syd…" I smiled. "One step at a time."
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