Link and Saria lived in Kokiri Forest. They were best friends. They did everything togeether.
Only one thing kept them apart.
Saria had a fairy and Link didn't.
Saria: Look at my beautiful fairy, Link!
Link: Oh, how nice.
Saria: Ha ha! You don't have one!
Link: I know.
Saria: Mido says you'll never get one! Ha! He's probably right!
Link: Mmm-hmmm. . .
Saria: Hahahahahaha! No fairy! No fairy! No-
Link: Shut up, you green-haired freak!
Saria burst into tears.
Then she and Link went off and did things that best friends did, like slap, kick, punch, and throw each other into trees.
But one day, a fairy came to Link.
Navi: Hey, wake up, stupid!
Link: Shuddup Saria...
Navi: I'm not Saria, retard! Now wake up!
Link: Wow! A fairy! Ha, Saria'll be so pissed... Come on fairy, we're going outside!
Navi: But you have to see the Great Deku-
Link: Later! This is more important!
So they went outside and Saria ran up.
Saria: Ha! Hey, no-fairy boy, my fairy dyed my hair again this morning! Hey...
Link: Yeah, that's right, I've got a fairy now! Invincible!
Saria: Argh! Well, I bet my fairy can beat up your fairy!
Link: Oh yeah? Bring it on!
Navi: Uh, are you sure?...
Saria: Right! Sic 'er, Bob!
Link: You're fairy's name is Bob?
Saria: Yeah, got a problem with that?
Link: Well, MY fairy has a cool name!
Saria: Oh yeah? Like what?
Link: Uh... hey, fairy, what's your name?
Navi: Navi.
Saria: What kind of name is that? It sounds like it was made up by some Japanese guy in a studio somewhere!
Link: Okay, that's it. Navi, get him!
The fairies commenced fighting. One of the Know-It-All Brothers' fairies, whose name was Joe, came and commentated.
Joe: And Navi takes the lead, with seventeen hits to Bob's fifteen! Oh, no and they're tied, Bob getting in a double before Navi could retaliate! Oooh, that HAD to hurt, Bob, right in the place where magical fairy lights don't shine. Oh, and Bob hits her hard, SMACK! Oh, Navi, now what're you gonna do? Oooh, ouch, oh, smack, thwack, kick 'er punch 'im kill kill kill!
Joe collapsed out of dizziness, sore-throatedness, and general highness.
Then Navi and Bob collapsed at the same thime.
Saria: Bob won!
Link: No, Navi won!
Saria: Shut up, you gay blonde!
Link: I'm not gay!
Saria: You wear a skirt!
Link: Well, then, you're gay, cause you're a girl and you don't!
Saria: Die, you ----!
Link: No, YOU die ----!
Know-It-All Brother 1: Why are you screaming profanities at each other?
Link and Saria: BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE IT!
And so Link and Saria lived out the rest of their days as best friends in Kokiri Forest, because someone stepped on Navi and Bob, so Link never became the Hero of Time, which he never liked anyway.
The End