Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon.
And You Don't Seem to Understand
Chapter 15
The Mercurius and the Vayeate that had double-teamed Trowa abruptly came to lifeless stops. Just a short distance away, the two mobile dolls Wufei had been battling ceased all movement.
Wufei, with a death grip on his controls, frowned suspiciously at the motionless dolls. He gave Heavyarms and its two opponents a good, hard look, and without another thought, sliced his twin beam trident through his own two enemies.
Quatre blinked onto his right side screen with a concerned expression, Trowa following suit.
"Wufei, Trowa, are you two alright?"
"We're fine," he answered, and giving a nod to the hundred or so intact but stationary dolls, he asked, "Do you know what happened?"
"No idea," said Trowa quietly. "I can't reach headquarters, Wufei."
Wufei swore under his breath as he punched in the direct line to Lady Une. The communication device ominously gave him the busy signal—a signal he didn't believe should exist. "I can't reach them, either."
Quatre shook his head worriedly. "Why don't you two head to Relena's, make sure she's alright? I'll go down to Earth and see what their situation is like there."
Trowa and Wufei nodded, taking off in the other direction as Quatre checked his stats and re-oriented himself in space. They had parted for only a few seconds when Quatre appeared again on their screens, blue eyes enormous in his pale face.
"What is it, Quatre?" Trowa asked pensively, scanning their surroundings to make sure the mobile dolls had not reawakened.
"Th-The Earth—"
"What about it?" Impatiently, Wufei slowed down a little to match Trowa's speed.
Quatre's voice was nothing more than a frozen whisper. "Look at it."
They turned and looked.
The water had turned to snow.
There hadn't been a transition where the water had transformed to snow. As if the chemistry of meteorology was a science one could turn on and off, the stratum of water had turned into a solid layer of unblemished, white ice.
Inside Wing Zero, hovering listlessly above the frozen world, and inside his composed shell, Hiiro felt an inexorable alarm he had never before felt. At a time when logic was imperative, Hiiro doubted that any natural rationalization would actually save them. His own thought processes were slowly erupting in disorder, leaving disbelief and denial blooming in its wake.
Japan was dead. It was a fact he had no intentions of accepting, but it was also one that forced him to re-examine his own position.
For the better part of his life, he and the gundam pilots had been fighting world domination. But Usagi, and the Sailor Senshi, had been fighting world destruction.
It struck him hard when he finally internalized the nuances of the truth of the matter. In the larger scheme of things, the meaning of his life mission dwindled into a triviality. Because, whether he and his colleagues had emerged the victor or had been defeated—none of it mattered. Because, in the end, the dictation of Earth's future came down to the de facto forces of nine teenage girls.
Because, even if he had liberated mankind from OZ, from dictators and from war, if the Sailor Senshi had lost against even a single enemy, mankind would have no longer existed.
Five minutes before the Earth had become ice, Haruka and Michiru had disembarked on L1 and L3 respectively. As soon as they had reached the space station, they had found a safe place to transform and wait.
News always traveled fast, especially between Earth and the colonies due to an accomplishment only Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian could have pulled off. Because it reduced the response waiting time, it made communication both easier and more efficient. But at the same time, lightning speed transmission also meant less time could be allocated to preparation—particularly preparing the masses to appropriately and calmly receive bad news.
In this case, Setsuna, Haruka, and Michiru had realized that the breakneck speed of news was to become a devastating impact and that there was nothing they could do about it.
In this case, Setsuna, Haruka, and Michiru watched the hands of the clock strike with an alarm of finality, and waited for imminent chaos.
The sudden whirring of the thermostat at work roused Hiiro into alertness. The digital readout of the external temperature before his eyes blinked five below zero.
Outside, what was left of Japan exuded a placidity reminiscent of a stormless plane in the eye of a hurricane. It was dark and still. And once it passed, there was no telling the kind of chaos that would ensue.
Upon the plasma screen, Hiiro glanced briefly at the five frost-covered faces, and instinctively rested his vision on Usagi. Her expressive, pale countenance was one that mirrored his innermost mindset. With a remote feeling of solidarity, he shifted the gears, pushing Wing Zero slowly to the ground and landed.
Just then, Deathscythe Hell arrived and alighted with a subdued sound, its deep black wings a stark and diametric contrast to the barren landscape. Duo disembarked the same time Hiiro did, but remained standing in the cockpit, unwilling to touch the ground with his own two feet.
He hovered in his uneasiness as the girls remained adhered to Hiiro's gundam with wordless understanding.
Finally, Duo broke the silence. "What should we do?"
Sailor Venus met his somber blue eyes. "What can we do? We hadn't expected this. Not yet at least."
Duo opened his mouth to ask what she meant, and then closed it with a snap. Perhaps he didn't want to know. "We can't just stay here like this. Sooner or later, we'll have to come down and meet reality," he said, not sure if he was telling them or himself. He glanced at Hiiro, who looked displeased as he scanned the black, starless sky. "The mobile doll readings are gone, Hiiro."
"For now," he muttered in response, leveling his gaze with Duo's and digging his hands into his jacket pockets. "We need to find shelter."
"Yeah, well, good luck to that. There's nothing left, Hiiro. Not a goddamn thing left!"
The chilly air hummed with Duo's sullen defeatism, startling the girls. Sailor Mercury took a deep, calming breath, the wheels in her head turning and turning. Although her grasp of the American language was not perfect, she had a good idea of what they were talking about. The problem was complex in nature, but it could be solved once it was broken up into feasible components. At the moment, they needed to find a place to keep warm, to survive until the next day where she would then tackle another part of the conundrum. And as it were, the solution was clinging to the huge metal bicep above her.
"Sailor Mars—"
Mars, trying to keep her body heat as close to her as she could, looked down across her iced lashes.
"I have an idea." Mercury smiled an astute and clear-headed smile.
Mars raised her eyebrows optimistically. "What is it?"
"I'm going to use my computer and look for—" Mercury paused as she suddenly noticed Usagi standing detached and solitary on the snow. When she had made it down, Mercury wasn't sure. "Usagi-chan?"
Hiiro glanced toward the girls, immediately picking up the conversation. Usagi didn't turn to Sailor Mercury, but when she suddenly took off, skidding and slipping in the snow, he caught the terrified look in her eyes and the plaintive view of her profile.
The Sailor Senshi started screaming around him, "Usagi! Usagi-chan!" and with bodies in frantic motion, jumped to the ground, hesitation forgotten.
He caught up to Jupiter, the one who was farthest ahead despite her injury, and pulled her to a stop. She whirled on him, green eyes smoky with thunderclouds and lightning.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, fists clenched at her side. "We can't just let her—"
"All of you stay here. I'll bring her back."
Her lips thinned into a conceding line, but before she could acknowledge him with a nod, he was already gone, chasing Usagi between the sheets of darkness.
Relena didn't want to think about it.
All the channels they were capable of receiving had been repeating the same news over and over again. Five minutes ago, the television had blanked out briefly, and then returned with several fuzzy, but sedate images of a white ball on a black background.
The sisters had looked away, knowingly.
Fearing the worst, she had watched, forehead tight with apprehension, as the solemn voice—one that must have been practiced religiously—of a single anchorman addressed the satellite photographs. And as soon as he was done, there were only broadcasts of distorted, live feeds of the citizens of L2 looting its littered streets.
It was time, Beruche had announced, rising to her feet and pulling Relena to a shaky stand. Relena had to take it upon herself to administer power—guidance. She was the figurehead of authority and peace; as the Vice Foreign Minister, she was indispensible, and she would never be as sorely needed as she was now.
But Relena wasn't sure if she was truly ready to be needed.
The crisp sound of snow crunched loudly in the stillness of nightfall as they searched for a suitable area to set up camp. Sailor Mercury's personal computer beeped every once while, although no one knew what they meant except her.
The cold was bitter and they were becoming wearisome from meandering around in what seemed like endless circles. Sailor Mars, experimenting with her newly regained powers, created a simple, but ample flame in the palm of her hands. The group gathered close to graciously absorb its heat.
Sailor Mercury stopped automatically, engrossed with the digital readings on her visor. "Mars," she finally said, pointing to a nondescript spot below them, "melt the snow here."
Sailor Mars nodded, letting the fire evaporate in her hands as she clasped them together and form a blazing point with her gloved index fingers. She followed the line of Mercury's arm and aimed.
"Fire Soul!"
A steady stream of red-orange fire lit from her hands to the ground, turning ice into boiling water and hazy steam. When it ended, they all peered into the massive tunnel she had created.
The lower portion of a toppled building lay at the foundation. Snow gathered around the floor that had once belonged to the first story of structure they couldn't quite figure out.
"The underground floor was fully equipped but never used," Mercury explained in a neutral voice.
With eyebrows raised, Venus stared at Mercury's vacant face; it was one that was neither happy nor unhappy. "What was this place?"
The sensible light in her blue eyes dimmed noticeably. "A hospital," she responded and began making her way down the slippery tunnel.
The remaining girls shared a meaningful look. 'A hospital' did not simply mean any one hospital in Tokyo. Mercury had evaded the deeper end of the question with her basic answer in her unadorned voice. What Ami had failed to mention was that this was her mother's hospital.
Naturally, they had all thought about it—thought maybe there was even a single, one-in-a-billion chance that their family or their friends had survived. But when it came down to the cold, hard facts, they had known all along that this was going to happen. It was too late for heartfelt good-byes, too late for apologies and regret. There was nothing left to be done about the past, but there was everything to do for the future.
This was it.
Sailor Venus clapped a hand on Duo's shoulder, realizing they had to do something about the language barrier. He had been half-awestruck, half-addled between witnessing Sailor Mars' primary heat attack and listening with minimal comprehension of their mutual sympathythat alienated him from their conversation.
All is not lost, she wanted to declare, but instead, she said, "Duo. We're going to take shelter here."
He raised his eyes to meet hers, and by that one gesture, she saw how much of what little faith he possessed he had placed in her.
When he found her, she was standing timidly with her hands gathered into fists at her mouth. She was looking left, then right, then left again. And each time she turned, her tense shoulders slumped one miserable millimeter at a time.
He closed the last few feet between them slowly. Deliberately, in a low voice, he spoke her name.
Usagi pivoted, her pleated blue skirt fanning around her. Her pallid skin had taken on a ghastly shade of light blue, bringing out the shadows in her eyes.
"I tried to make my own destiny, Hiiro-san, just like you said," she whispered tremulously. "But I couldn't change this. I...I wanted to say good-bye, at least, because all those other times, I never got the chance. I thought I would be used to how unfair life is, but...but..."
"You can't change everything, Usagi."
She swiped at her eyes with the back of one hand and covered her mouth to stifle a sob. "I tried. I really tried."
Hiiro took one small step forward, not sure what he meant to do. It was painful to watch her cry, and suddenly, with a sharp and bitter understanding, he knew where they stood and what she intended when she ran off from the group without a word. Beneath them was her home—the home she grew up in with her warm, nuclear family.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked gruffly.
She shook her head—a limp movement of denial. "I thought I would be okay by myself, but it's not the same ever since..."
He died, he finished tacitly. Him. The one she would never truly be able to let go of. The one who kept him from ever reaching her. "You're not alone."
It seemed like the right thing to say as her tears slowly subsided, as a weightlessness returned to her sensitive form. She slid her wet eyes at him, pinning him with a shrewd look.
"And what about you, then, Hiiro-san?" she asked softly.
A cold, discontent wind stirred the powder around them. He looked into the horizon and only saw acres and acres of white. In the colonies, there was no horizon; there was no real rain or snow either. "I am a different story," he answered as mechanically and frostily as possible.
Her gaze became a little more penetrating, a little more intense. Whether she had acknowledged his reluctance was beyond him.
"Are we really so different?"
It was perhaps then that he really saw her, fixing his arctic eyes on her most human countenance, or perhaps it was then that he truly realized that Usagi embodied the world.
She was compassion and insecurity. She was determination and indecision. She was love and fear. She was the thread of light that burned away a lurking shadow. She was the water that soothed a devastating fire.
She was human. Maybe even perfectly so.
And it was that revelation which made his insides tighten painfully in protest; it was that revelation which made him answer with the one truth which would never change as long as this constantly altering universe existed in everlasting space.
"We are completely different."
It was an answer she both didn't want to hear and didn't believe. Her throat throbbed before she felt the hot tears glide down her clammy cheeks, crystallizing into tiny glass pearls. "I care about you a lot," she said quietly. The wind caught her voice, degrading it.
He heard it, if not from his ears, then from his soul. "I can't replace your memories of him."
She rounded on him, frustrated, fists clenching and unclenching in her lap. "I don't want you to."
"You don't need me, Usagi."
"How do you know?"
Hiiro raised his hand to touch her chin with two fingers, smoothing away the ice and frost on her ashen face with the pad of his thumb. She closed her eyes and opened them again, slowly, as if it was agonizing or trying to do so.
"Because," he responded, almost gentle enough to surprise him, "I see you, and you don't need anything."
Usagi gave a wretched sob and threw herself into his arms. She clung to him, his warmth, his strength desperately, and wet his shirt with the rest of her objecting tears. Maybe he didn't understand just how much she needed him, but maybe he did. Maybe, this was his way of telling her to be as strong as she could be.
But even now, she couldn't help but despair for such an end to their impossible relationship. They would part ways after this one last difficult ordeal, and she would most likely never see him again. He would leave her as Mamoru had, alone and empty, with no one to accept her unbridled affection.
He would be there unconditionally if ever she needed him—this much she knew, nevertheless she was a selfish creature, so she hoped, half-whimsically and half-without humor, that they would not have to end. They would sit in the barren landscape and hold each other as they were now, forever and ever.
All good dreams come to an end.
The wind tangled her hair with fierce gusts, reminding her the impatience of time.
Usagi rose to her feet, removing her brooch from her pocket. The pretty trinket shone naïvely, never knowing how much destructive power it was capable of holding, never knowing how many times it had saved her life and the lives of her friends, and never knowing how many times it would continue to do so.
For the very last time, Usagi became Eternal Sailor Moon.
AN: I'm. So. Tired. xD;; It's coming to an end. Soon. And then I will never write another story with chapters again. Haha. ;x Also, I get the feeling that I forgot some reviewers in my reply corner last time. If I did, it was unintentional and I'm really sorry! T-T Btw, I like French pop.
Senshi's Tenshi: ooommggoodness! i love all your reviews! they're so fun to read xD i get all warm and gooey inside lololol. to answer your question about the japanese poem book, i actually took a class on classical japanese poetry, and while i hated the class, i thought the poems were interesting. but not interesting enough to study. haha so that little rei blurb was from personal experience. sorta xD hamster sex :O oh goodness xD you're so anime-ish! xDD thank you so much for reviewing like all my stuff ;o it really made my day(s) ;)
Raine of The Darkness Clan: LOL yeah i got kindda lost, too. o.o it's been so loooong since i wrote anything! and then i finally did and everything just sorta came out. like diarrhea.
the Desert Fox: haha actually no, they weren't serena and heero. that was a little idea of what was going on elsewhere in the world through children's eyes. and i wanted to emphasize the pessimism in how wishes don't come true. x) LOL i couldn't stop laughing at your hotaru/duo convo. especially the lord of the rings bit X.x
bee3: lol ;x hope you caught up on all your chores!
Suki: cliffhangers! ;o i don't know how to write cliffhangers ;x
Adriana: you're welcome:O!
firelightz: hmm i think the climax died. lol. ok i have to think about this some more ;-;
LunarPrincess: their opinions of each other are always changing xD
Dena: thanks ;)
serenity77: i updated! and it didn't take me 75849957 years this time ;D
kris: aww thanks... but i definitely wouldn't say it's brilliant... mediocre at best x.x
Kail Ceannai: i was really hoping everyone had forgotten this story :x ahh, but thank you for staying close with it :)
Heero's Bunny-Scribble: GERMS? ;o i'm kind of ocd about germs, actually. haha i try to avoid sick people as much as i can ;x i hate getting sick! it sucks! especially cuz i have no one to take care of me. ;-; please pity me. xP
FaeriePrincess: thank you! that's ok! i'm not someone who gets cranky at one-liners. i think a review is positive confirmation that means at least someone is reading it and i'm getting my idea across.
Angelight: angel-chaaaann why did you abbreviate your name? DOES IT HAVE SPECIAL MEANING? i demand to know. -cries all loserishly- and please don't say such nice things like that. it makes my brain get stupider. see. xP
Jade Cerise: aww, thanks xD i did have a great day ;D you have a great day, too!
moon-bunny735: oh yesss, my sess/usa fanfic that i semi-abandoned. xD i think sess/usa would either make a very funny couple or a very serious one. o.o; i had to get myself a sesshoumaru plushie and keychain at hot topic because i just couldn't resist. ahh, but i'm having trouble keeping them in character and whatnot. i can't see sesshoumaru lovey dovey AT ALL and ... i feel like i'm going to offend some people if i keep talking the way i do, so i'll stop. --; but to answer your question about the pilots as senshi picture, i'm not really pairing them... originally, this was supposed to be a hiiro/usagi fic, but then it grew legs and arms and a mind of its own. i had the end all figured out, but i might be adjusting that when i really get to it... x) thank you so much, though!
Flame Ivy Moon: lol sankyuu xD so nice all of you...
Jiyuu no Megami: where's my cookie? xD
i laugh at you: i like your name xP publish? book? o.o where? ;x teehee, thank for reading and reviewing my stuff!
mystic soilder: ;o it's my motto! i like to color with words ;) thanks for reading and reviewing!
Dark Universe: i'm trying to make this fic the embodiment of your name O-O just kidding ;x i think the destruction was borne out of a depressing day at school. lol. that's kind of sad now that i think about it. -.-;; thanks for reviewing!