Title: Hanging by a Thread
Warnings: SPOILERS for "Threads", slight mention of Pete
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Not mine, just doing this for the pure fun of it.
A/N: Special thanks to Lingren for your input and kindness!
This is basically a post-Threads comfort piece. I originally meant it to be a short, one-part story but it just seems to keep getting longer. And since I seem to be having a bit of trouble getting the last part done, I thought I'd post this first part in the hope that doing so will motivate me to finish the darn thing. The rating is just to be safe language-wise.
Oh, and this is my first SG-1 fic ever. (Translation: I'm nervous). If you like it, please let me know... you'll make my day. Heck, probably even my week! Okay, I'll shut up now so you can read the story...
Hanging by a Thread -- Chapter 1
This was a bad day.
At least, that was Samantha Carter's opinion of it.
Okay, so she'd had a lot of bad days in the past couple of weeks, but this one was really bad. And her assessment had nothing to do with the fact that she was standing completely alone in the middle of a park as rain poured down on her in cold, drenching sheets. Actually, the rain had nothing to do with it at all.
Lately, the quality of Sam's days depended very little on the weather or traffic or even on whether or not she was getting shot at by aliens. No, these days Sam based her assessments on how well she was able to keep herself from falling to pieces.
Some days weren't so bad. On those days, Sam was able to focus on her work with relative ease, to distract herself from any upsetting thoughts and emotions. Other days, she struggled. Those were the days when she had to very consciously get herself through each hour, forcing herself to remain occupied at all times. Too occupied to think about anything but the task at hand.
And then, of course, there was today. The Bad Day. The Really Bad Day.
Today Sam had struggled extra hard and many times she'd very nearly lost the battle with her emotions. At work she had avoided General O'Neill, Daniel, and Teal'c for fear that her friends would see through the tenuous mask she was so carefully trying to keep in place on her face. The last thing she wanted was to break down right in the middle of the hallways of the SGC.
Once she'd arrived home, Sam thought things would be easier. She thought she'd be able to relax.
She thought wrong.
She hadn't been home long before her house started to feel painfully empty and hollow. It wasn't much later when she'd grabbed her jacket and fled her house for the outdoors. A walk. A nice, long walk would help to clear her head and ease the tense knot of suppressed emotion that was nearly suffocating her. Sam was quite sure that's what she needed.
Wrong again.
She'd walked for nearly an hour before she realized that it wasn't working, before she realized that the aching hollow feeling that she'd been trying to escape from was actually within her. And it was only then, just as the skies opened up and the rain began pouring down upon her, that Sam realized what it was that she really needed.
Now, although more enlightened than before, Sam was cold, soaked, and a long way from home. She pulled her jacket more closely around herself and took refuge under the sheltering branches of a large fir tree. Her eyes stung with the threat of tears and she was finding it difficult to breathe.
Suddenly feeling desperate, Sam reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She held it in her hand for a long moment, staring at it. She wanted to call him. God, how she wanted to call him. But what would she even say if she did? Losing her nerve, Sam shoved the phone back into her jacket pocket.
And that's when it rang.
Pulling it out again, she looked at the display. It was him.
She felt a funny lurch in her heart. Swallowing, she put the phone to her ear and answered the call.
"Carter." She was relieved when her voice came out sounding relatively normal.
"Hey, you busy?" Jack's voice sounded in her ear.
"Ah... not really, no." Unless you call trying to keep myself from falling apart busy. It was taking a lot of effort, now that she thought about it.
"Perfect. Teal'c and I are at Danny's place, just getting ready to order some Chinese. Care to join us?"
Sam closed her eyes briefly. "That sounds nice, sir."
She could practically hear the ellipses hanging off the end of her sentence, and obviously so could Jack.
"But...?"
"But I don't think I'll be able to make it."
"Ah." Jack paused on the other end. "Because you're busy being... not busy?"
Sam took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, not wanting the emotions that were threatening to wash over her to creep into her voice. But her silence was sending its own messages.
"Carter, is everything all right?" He was getting concerned.
"Everything's fine, sir."
Liar. You're about to come apart at the seams. Sam gritted her teeth. Shut up.
"Are you sure?" He wasn't buying it.
She took another deep breath. "I'll be okay, sir."
Damn.
He caught on to her wording right away. "Future tense. I'm no linguist but I take that to mean you're not okay right at this moment?"
Sam sighed. She'd have to tell him something. "It's just... my dad..." She stopped, closing her eyes tightly and fighting for control. She really didn't want to start sobbing over the phone. Luckily, she didn't need to say anything more.
"Where are you?" His voice had a taking-charge tone to it now, and it helped to steady her.
"Shaughnessy Park."
"Outside?"
A hint of a smile touched her lips. "Well, yes..."
"Carter, it's pissing rain out there!"
Despite the cover of the fir tree, several determined raindrops were still managing to find her and were running down her face and the back of her neck in cold, snaking trails. "I've noticed."
"I'm coming over there."
Sam opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it again. Who was she kidding? She wanted him to come. Hell, she needed him to. "All right," she agreed quietly.
"And wait for me in your car, would you? You'll drown out there in this weather."
Uh oh. He wasn't going to like this next bit. "Um, actually, I walked here."
"Oh, for crying out loud!"
Sam winced slightly. Then she heard Jack give an exasperated sigh.
"Okay, just stay put. I'll be there soon."
And then he was gone. And Sam was staring at the phone in her hand again.
He's coming.
She stuffed her hands into her pockets and huddled under the fir tree, shivering. The tears were still there, just behind her eyes, and her emotions were still threatening to crash over her in a suffocating wave. She closed her eyes.
Please hurry.
OoOoOoOoOoO
By the time Jack disconnected from his call with Sam, he was already grabbing his jacket and heading for the door.
"What's going on, Jack?" Daniel asked, watching him from the couch.
"Is Major Carter in need of assistance?" Teal'c inquired.
Jack fished for his keys in his jacket pocket. "Ah, I guess you could say that." Keys now in hand, he opened the door. "I'm going to get her."
"Jack!" Daniel's voice stopped him as he was halfway out the door. He looked back at his two concerned friends.
"Just hold off on ordering the food for bit. I'll call you."
And without offering any further information, he was out the door, leaving Daniel baffled and Teal'c with one eyebrow raised in mild surprise.
OoOoOoOoOoO
The rain pelted against the windshield as Jack navigated his way through the streets, pushing the speed limit and cursing any and all delays. He was worried. Sam hadn't sounded like herself. She'd sounded... fragile.
The truth was, this hadn't come out of the blue. That note of fragility, of sorrowful pain, that he'd just heard in her voice was the same as what Jack had seen in her eyes a number of times since Jacob and Selmak's deaths. It wasn't there all the time, not even all that often. But there had been moments every now and then when it had shown clearly. Perhaps just a flicker at the end of a long day on the base, or a momentary glimpse in the midst of a briefing, but it had been there.
Every time Jack saw that fleeting look in Sam's eyes, his heart ached for her. Every time, he wanted to do something to comfort her, to take her in his arms and hold her, but he never did. Not since those last moments before Jacob passed away.
Every time he felt that ache, something stopped him from reaching out to her the way he so desperately wanted to. One of those things being the fact that she was probably getting all the comforting she needed from Pete.
Even now, the thought made Jack cringe inwardly. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he made a right turn.
Yes, she'd confessed to Jack that she was having second thoughts about the wedding that day when she'd shown up in his backyard. When she'd come to tell him... what? What he'd been wanting to hear for so long? But of course it couldn't be as simple as that. Of course not. And now Jack didn't know where she stood. Hell, she might not even know, what with the state she must be in after losing her father.
Jack stopped at a traffic light and waited impatiently for it to turn green. His fingers drummed the steering wheel as the windshield wipers swished furiously back and forth against the torrents of rain.
As soon as she'd told him she was having second thoughts about marrying Pete, Jack had felt something -- a sudden, warm welling of hope in his heart. Thinking about it made him feel a bit guilty. There she was trying to tell him that she didn't feel right about marrying this guy and he was feeling happy about it. Well, not happy, but there'd definitely been something.
Jack stepped on the gas as the light changed. He was getting close.
No matter what, though, Jack hated knowing she was in distress and this time he wasn't going to let anything stop him from reaching out to her. After all, he'd promised her that he would always be there for her and, damn it, he was going to be.
Finally arriving at his destination, Jack pulled up to the curb and parked his truck. Peering out the window, he could just make out Sam's form in the distance, huddled under the protective branches of a large fir tree. No one else was in sight. It wasn't exactly the best weather for a walk in the park.
Pocketing his keys, Jack left the dry interior of his truck for the pouring rain. With water already running in rivulets down his face and jacket, he pushed the truck door shut and set off at a squelching jog toward Sam.
TBC…