Ch.2- MEAT the Hammer

Olimar and Louie woke up by a loud sound. It came from outside. It was a pink ship and Olimar recognized once he saw it... Olimar's ex-wife and his 2 ex-children came out. Olimar was happy but he didn't know why they came.

"Hi.", said Olimar.

"Not coming here for you jackass.", Pumpkin replied. Olimar was sad.

"Can I talk to Louie in private please?", Pumpkin asked.

"Yes he's still eating breakfast, make yourself at home.", Olimar said.

"No need fucker.", cussed Pumpkin. The children were playing outside with a ball. Olimar asked if he could play and the children replied,

"Fuck you hobo!"

Olimar was desperate... sad... MAD AT LOUIE...

Louie and Pumpkin came back out. They were HOLDING HANDS! Olimar didn't understand...

"I have an announcement to make... me and Louie are getting MARRIED!", screamed Pumpkin. A girl came out of her ship screaming and jumping around.

"Who's that?" asked Louie.

"Thats my waiter, her names Poppy, but now I don't need you Poppy, I have a man!", Pumpkin replied. Poppy fell to the ground. Olimar went to the rescue. He picked her up.

"Are you okay?", Olimar said. She didn't respond for a while. Olimar was looking at her face... And he fell in love.

"Thank you uhmm?"

"The name's Olimar.", Olimar interrupted.

"Okay, thank you.", she replied. Poppy sorta liked Olimar. And they somehow both knew that both of them liked each other.

"Lets have a party!", Pumpkin said. "I'll be right back."

She ran to the ship. She was carrying out drinks and food and a pack full of CDs to listen to. Everyone went inside Olimar's ship and put the music on and started dancing. Olimar put some bottles of some Grammie The Hammie on a separate table and put a sign on that said -PLEASE DO NOT DRINK-. Louie was jumping around with his triple fat belly and got out of control he was bouncing off the whole entire ship having fun... But accidently he bounced on all the bottles of Grammie The Hammie and broke them. Those were the only ones left because everybody had already drank all the other Grammie The Hammie. Olimar was mad about the liquid but also happy because of Poppy.

"LOUIE?", Olimar said.

"Sorry...", replied Louie. He went to play with his hammer and toy cars. There were 3 cars on the floor. He squished the first one... And the second one... For the third one he was planning to hit the car and make a hole in the ship! He was holding back the hammer but accidently while he was doing that the hammer slipped out of his hands and guess what? The hammer was quickly flying and heading towards Olimar and Poppy. The hammer hit Poppy's head. She fell to the ground. Louie was coming to the rescue!

"Louie!", Olimar said. Louie was doing the mouth-to-mouth respiration thingy. Olimar was sad. Louie's face turned green. Olimar didn't know what was happening. Louie threw up inside Poppy's mouth. Louie stopped doing the mouth to mouth thingy and said,

"OOPS!"

Olimar looked inside Poppy's mouth... There was green stuff all over it! Olimar put his hand out on her chest looking for a sign of life. Nothing... Louie killed her with his barf... Louie didn't mind. Olimar carried Poppy out side. He just stood there with his eyes closed... Tears were falling... His life was what could happen to no one... He didn't care about the Grammie The Hammie a lot but he cared about Poppy and he was thinking that he had gotten a divorce and then LOUIE got his ex-wife and married her and then he killed Poppy and the liquid... Phone, internet, cellphone, bed... All gone... Olimar put Poppy down. He started digging a hole to put in Poppy...

Louie was just boogying with Pumpkin and the children were just sleeping... No one cared about Olimar... Olimar thought, 'He's gonna die... Yes he is!'.

It was night. Olimar chose to go to his half bed... Lied there... Doing nothing... His radio fell from on top of his other bed and exploded making all his room filled with smoke and having black walls...

"I'm not saying anything... This time..."

And he fell asleep.

THE NEXT DAY

When Olimar woke up he saw Louie already making dinner since what he was planning to make took a long time. He just got out some meat out of the fridge. The meat was one whole thing, really hard. So he decided to hammer it. He was looking for his hammer but couldn't find it.

Olimar chose to watch some TV. He sat on the couch and rested one of his arms on the kitchen table where the meat was, but not on top of the meat. There were squished cars on the floor.

Meanwhile, Louie found his hammer and started kissing it. He was really happy. Louie started hammering the meat... He did the left, center, and now was heading for the right, close to where Olimar's hand was. Louie was picking his nose so he just kept on going right with his hammer... He just got a booger out when he heard a scream. Louie thought, closing his eyes... He thought it was the booger that screamed... He thought, 'Sorry, my booger majesty, but you are just too delicious...'. When Louie opened his eyes he saw a face, a really angry face, more like furious... Olimar's...

"Why did you squish my finger, you bitch!"

"Sorry...", replied Louie, "I wasn't looking..."

"Crazy bitch..."

Olimar sat back down on the sofa, with his arms where they were before, exactly how he was sitting before. Louie took out a long japanese knife made to cut wood.

A message from the author: I think you know where this is getting!

Louie decided to do as he did before... He was starting from the left.. 'Let's start with the boogers...', Louie thought. He got one out of his nose and put it on a plate for later. 'I'm gonna get out a few more and then boil them up all together!' He got out more... And one just for now... He took it out... Opened his eyes... With his hand ready to drop it on his tongue... He saw red liquid flying all places and some of this red liquid went on his tongue. He thought it was just some liquid from the booger so he just tasted that.

"Hmmm... Kinda tastes like chicken!"

... Next thing he knew was that he was flying away by Olimar's punch.

"You bitch! You cut off my finger!", Olimar screamed.

"Uh oh..."

Louie quickly got up and ran outside the ship with Olimar closely following him... Louie was slow and tired already. Olimar jumped and got hold of Louie's feet. This made Louie trip.

"Sorry SORRY! I promise I wont do it again! Please! And I'll... umm... Oh yeah! I'll do whatever you tell me to do for one day starting tomorrow!"

"DEAL!", and they went back into the ship. Louie started cleaning the ship. Then he thought something. He said it...

"Hey, it's not tomorrow yet, so why am I cleaning the ship?"

Olimar kicked Louie.

LATER...

It was almost 8 P.M. now and Louie had just finished to put his boiled boogers plate on the dinner table. Louie sat down and called Olimar.

"Dinner's ready!"

"Thanks for waking me up, I was sleeping so when the clock hits midnight I'll wake you up and start giving you orders...", Olimar replied.

Louie said nothing. He was just satisfied for his boogers. Olimar was HELLA hungry and was opening his mouth every half second to put food in it. Louie decided to start with his boogers... He got one with his fork. And ate it... He was happy. He ate another one... Happier! Louie put 2 boogers ON the fork (not through the little thingies) and raised his hand at a high speed! The boogers slipped off the fork and were heading for Olimar's mouth. Olimar still really hungry and eating very fast... The buggers flew in his mouth. Olimar fell to the ground, coughing. When he got back up Louie wasn't there... He was locked up in his room! Olimar got his machine gun and went straight for Louie's room. Louie saw the machine gun through his hole in the door. He was scared.

"TWO DAYS!"

"DEAL!", Olimar said. And hid his machine gun again...

Louie went to bed, but Olimar was not sleepy... He was just waiting for midnight...

Olimar was doing nothing. sitting, looking at his finger, and sitiing in front of a clock. it was 11:15 and he chose to watch some tv.

Authors note: sorry for the short chapter but I'm doing two days for each chapter so...yeah... please R&R!