Author Note: Before we begin the tenth chapter, I would like to take a moment and thank my wonderful reviewers. Why? Because I probably would not have written ten full chapters of my story if no one saw it. So, to those who beautiful creatures who review, I tip my hat to you. But Imust bring special attension to the only person who reviewed my last chapter and my first reviewer, a person who gives me wonderful advice and way more compliments than I desever, Animus86.
'It is Simple Human. The one you call Syaoran.'
Syaoran.
It was Syaoran.
He was her One.
Sakura fell backwards onto the bed, her head feeling very light. She glanced over the window and got up and walked to it, sitting down on the window seal. Her eyes scanned the land below her, but as much as she wanted to, she could not see any small details.
It was nighttime. Dark clouds and rain replaced the sun. The only thing that was truly visible were the nearby mountains. Everything else was hidden.
Somewhere hidden in the darkness was Syaoran. Her One.
Sakura touched the glass of the window, her fingertips tracing patterns on it. The glass was cold, but it was as though Sakura's fingers were numb, for all she felt was the small dumps and scratches the glass had. She was never cold now, at least, not in the literal sense.
Sakura drew in a quick breath when she felt the aura inside of her. It had changed ever since she learned whom the aura belonged to.
'No,' she thought, 'that's not it. Didn't I tell Tomoyo the aura is mine?'
She shook her head, as though that would help sort out her emotions.
It was Syaoran's aura. His green aura inside of her. He belonged to her and only her.
After the shock of finding out who the aura truly was, Sakura felt a flush of embarrassment. All this time it was Syaoran who was inside of her, exposed to her thoughts, her feelings, her secrets. When she was cold in school, she called to him for warmth. When she was bored, or just too stubborn to sleep at night, she played with him.
He was not only in her body, but also in her mind. Sakura covered her eyes with her hand. Her mind. He was inside in her mind, and right when she was somewhat obsessed with him. Though he was her One, there were some things she did not want him to find out, much less have her thoughts displayed to him in such a open manner.
A faint, tingling sensation wormed its way up her spine, causing Sakura to pause in her thoughts. 'What is he doing?' she thought.
That was the major difference since she found out who the aura was. The aura, or Syaoran, gave off much more than warmth now. It was as though a door had opened the moment she knew for sure who the aura was. Her knowledge was the key to the lock. And now she felt a Syaoran's presence in her much more. The tingling sensations, she realized, were his emotions, or at least, a part of his emotions.
Sakura felt herself flush again. 'Should I be allowed to feel him like this?' she wondered. 'He won't be able to hide anything from me, that is, before we figure something out.' She paused. 'That is, if we want to figure something out.' she added.So far every emotion Syaoran had over the past few days passed through to her. The emotions were not sent in words or sentences; they were a language all of their own. Rarely could she accurately describe them, most of the time they were like hieroglyphics, put aside to study later.
Taking her hand away from the window, Sakura walked back to the bed and sat down again. The tingling at the base of her neck did not stop, making Sakura reach up and touch her hand to her neck, if only to prove to herself that she was not imagining things. Her senses were acute to every sound in the room; her breathing, the ruffles of the sheets; her heartbeat.
It was nighttime when she truly wondered what on Earth he was thinking. Though she could feel whatever he sent, she could not yet put a name to them. There were times when she knew for sure he was sad or confused, and other times wondered if he was angry, or happy, or sad. And even though she could feel these things, she could not guess the thoughts behind them. 'At least, not yet,' Sakura thought, slightly annoyed at the tingling. All the emotions touched her in varying degrees; sometimes it was soft and playful, other times it was cold and angry.
It seemed that Syaoran was most prone to feel the strongest emotion at night, and that would keep Sakura stay awake. That was another thing she learned after she unlocked the aura; Syaoran's emotions and warmth had formed the habit of keeping her awake at night when she had nothing else to distract her from the constant pulses of warmth.
At that moment, the tingling stopped and Sakura let out her breath, hoping that now she would be able to sleep.
Sakura sat up, feeling her forehead with the back of her hand. It was hot. She let out another long breath and fell back onto the pillows. 'I have got to figure out what he means!' she thought, 'What is Syaoran thinking that makes him feel like that?' The strongest emotion she felt from him was so different from all his other ones. Normally, that emotion was light and jolly, yet other times, it turned to something deeper and darker, and even-
'Not so innocent?' Sakura answered herself. 'Maybe it is not what is he thinking about, but who...' a voice inside her mind challenged. Sakura shook her head, as thought the motion would scatter her thoughts. 'I need to get to sleep. I'll figure it out tomorrow.' she thought with determination. 'Tomorrow.'
The next day Sakura woke to find her breakfast in front of her, lying on the floor on a gray tray. There was an assortment of fruits, along with toast, and some orange food she had never seen before. 'That probably came from the planet below me,' Sakura thought, wrinkling her nose at the glob.
Interested, she crawled out of the bed and onto the floor, and stared the food down. She was always careful about the food, for Messenger had, on occasion, brought in food that was still alive. It took ten minutes to explain to the guardian that she generally liked her food dead. (Messenger's response was, 'Humans are most odd in their primitive ways.' Sakura had wanted to ask what did it meant by 'primitive ways', but refrained from it, figuring all she would get was a headache.)
The orange gulp did not move, luckily, but gave off quite a repulsive stink when Sakura poked it with a chopstick. 'Maybe it is still alive,' she thought, and reached for an apple, snapping it quickly away just in case the orange gulp did decide move. She left the food on the floor and walked over to the window seal, taking a chop out of her apple. The sun was rising, breaking over the clouds and creating a dazzling display of blues and reds and yellows across the sky.
'Every day the sun rises, without fail, even if we don't see it.' Sakura thought. 'The sun is so predictable, I guess, all over the place. It always rises, always shines, and always is there. It never does anything different either. It just stays on the same path.' She took another bite out of the apple, sucking on the sweet juice of the fruit for a moment. Though the image in front of her was cheerful, she could not bring herself to share in its joy.
'Is that what I am?' she wondered, 'Am I like the sun? Predictable and never changing?'
'Kero said that there is such a thing as fate, and even Messenger agrees. It seems mean, such a thing as fate. That there is a set future for all of us, and we can do nothing about it. I mean, does that mean that nothing I do can really change the outcome in the end?' She felt her skin tingle with magic. 'Does that mean that I have no choice in my life? That everything, who I am, the things I like, the people I love, has been all determined?'
The sun's rays touched the mountains on the far side of the valley, showing off their snowy caps and jagged slides.
'No,' Sakura thought, filling her chest with air. 'I've helped people. Lots of people. They might of even died if I did not help them.'
'But, what if that was all predetermined also?' a voice inside her head challenged.
'That can't be. People can decide which way their lives go. We are not held down or bond by anything. Isn't that what fate is, where you can't make up your own mind and you have to do a certain set of things?'
'Not necessarily. There are people who have no choice in their lives. People that were born poor and given no opportunities, set to live, and die, poor. That is fate also. If that is true, then people really have no choice at all, and everything that happens to them is not truly their choice, but serves some greater purpose.'
Sakura's eyes widened. 'Does that mean I have no choice in who I love or where I end up? That is only serves a greater purpose, whatever that may be?'
Her stomach seemed to sink and churn with uncertainty. 'That is not a way to live. I want to choose. I want to be in control of my life.'
Sakura felt anger. Anger that sank in her stomach, gathering up all bad thoughts, to a point where Sakura could literally felt the weight. She wanted to push it out, expel it away from her. Yet for the moment, all she could do what watch the sunrise, and think.
Two things strange happened that day. One, Messenger did not visit. The second was a surge of magical energy from the world below her. Sakura's senses were momentarily stunned from the sudden and powerful explosion that it took her a moment to recognize that she knew who was making such a magical wave.
"Syaoran, what have you done?" she wondered aloud.
'Good Morning.' a soft voice echoed in Sakura's head the next morning.
Sakura opened her eyes to Messenger's blue centaur form, holding out a tray of food. "You're back!" she exclaimed and jumped out of bed.
Messenger did nothing, as always, but Sakura had grown used to it. She took the tray from Messenger and sat on the window seal.
"Where were you yesterday?" she asked. "You normally come every day, yet yesterday you did not even show up once! Did you get hurt?"
Messenger inwardly was mildly surprised that the human would ask such an idiotic thing. It? Get hurt? If it could understand humor, it was sure it would have laughed. Sadly, Messenger did not, and could show no sign of its amusement (if that is what humans still called it, amusement.) It looked on with the eyes of an outsider. It could clearly see when something was funny, for normally the humans would emite a strange sound and their mouths would lift at the corners, but it could simply not understand, the joke or the action.
'Simple Human came to a turning point yesterday. My services were required elsewhere.'
Sakura tilted her head in confusion. "Syaoran came to a turning point? What is that?"
'He had two choices to make. Unfortunately, he choose a rather foolish one.'
Sakura had no idea what the guardian was talking about. Her curiosity did ignite and she asked what choice Syaoran made. "Does it have anything to do with the magic he released yesterday?"
'He did not merely release his magic, he unleashed it. Such power has never been felt before on this planet, and now every human, elf, and Dark Creature know he is there.'
Sakura put her hand to her mouth. "Is he alright? What about Hiyoshi-san? And what will happen?"
'Simple Human's skull may be dense, but so is his body. He shall survive, the Seer as well. What they do next, is in their hands.' Messenger's soft voice turned cold, it almost spat out the word 'hand'.
Sakura glanced over the valley. It seemed so peaceful now.
"Messenger, what is fate?" she suddenly asked.
Messenger's answer was instant. 'Fate: definition out of the Webster's New College Dictionary: the principle or determining cause or will by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as the do; Destiny. An inevitable and often adverse outcome, condition, or end-'
"Stop!" Sakura put up her hand, the other to her temple, feeling a headache. She wanted to slap herself for asking such a question. "That's not what I meant."
Messenger gray eyes stared at her to continue.
Sakura swallowed, picking her words carefully. "I mean does fate really exist?" Messenger did not respond.
'Yes.' it said after a moment of silence.
Sakura felt herself deflate. "Does that mean everything everyone does is not really their choice, but predetermined?"
'No.'
Two things Sakura felt when Messenger answered her question. One, was relief, the other was confusion.
"How can you say both yes and no?" she inquired.
'Fate is more complicated than what stupid humans think it is, and it hardly ever exists in their lives.' Messenger said. 'Futures seers, like the Seer who is with Simple Human, do exist, therefore fate must also exist.'
Sakura bit her lip. "What does fate determine?"
Messenger's cold, gray eyes seemed to pin Sakura to her position. She wondered for a brief second why the guardian was staring at her in such a manner, but pushed it away.'Fate determine outcomes only for those who are important.'
"What do you mean?"
Messenger was getting impatient explaining things to the child, which she would most likely never understand anyways. It wanted silence, not the jabbering of speech. However, at the moment, it had to stay with her, and feed her small bits of information, like a bird to its young, though it knew that she would eventually wise up, with or without it's assistance.
Her green eyes betrayed her naviie image she had gotten so used to wearing. It knew she was beginning to wonder why she and Simple Human were here. Her mind, though clouded and shielded from the truth, would work constantly in her sub-conscious until it came to the inevitable conclusion. How long it would take was only a matter of time, now that Messenger had strategically began to leave her by herself for longer and longer periods of time.
All these thoughts passed in Messenger's mind as it answered her question.
'Fate does not bother entering the lives of those it deems unimportant. Only those with the power to change the outcome of something requires Fate's time and energy.'
"You make it sound like Fate is a person."
'No, it is not. It is merely another part of all universes that keeps everything running smoothly and in order, like I am.'
Sakura drew in her breath before she continued, realizing something. "Does that mean that my life will be determined by fate, or do I have some choice?"
Messenger noticed a spark of something in the girl's eyes, which made its senses heighten. It wondered what caused this spark.
'You are important, therefore some of your life will be predetermined.'
"Oh." Sakura's chest fell, disappointed. Her mouth opened once more to ask something, but hesitated. After a moment of debate, she asked it. "Does that mean who I love was not my choice, but Fate's?"
Messenger noticed the spark in her eyes once more.
'No.' Messenger's soft voice echoed, 'That choice was yours.'
Sakura eyes widened. A smile appeared on her face, and she was distracted for everything in the room.
Messenger stood watching her, wanted desperately to enter her mind and explore the reasons behind the spark in her eyes. Yet, as Sakura turned her attention to it once more, it knew that if it dared tried to enter her mind, she would notice it and most likely kill it.
Feeling the conversation was over, and wanting silence, Messenger stomped to the door.
"Wait!" Sakura called, halting the guardian in its steps. "I don't understand one thing. If I got to make the decision of whom I love, what is this 'One' business? Two people meant only for each other? Kero said I was a One."
'The creature Kero was created by a human, therefore could only give a human's answer. Two people destined for each other does not exist nor will it ever exist. Fate does not bother with such absurd dealings. The real truth of Ones is somewhat simple, one that humans could understand if they wanted to, however they would rather be lazy and ignorant.'
Sakura ignored the harsh insults Messenger made. "Than why did you say Syaoran was my One?"
'You and Simple Human both made the decision, consciously or sub-consciously, that you would choose each other over all others. Both of you than blocked out all other auras that could have been a match will you, and only allowed the other's to enter. That is why you only have Simple Human's aura in you, and he only has your aura inside of him.'
Sakura nodded her head, yet Messenger could tell she was beginning to question.
Before the child could ask anything else, Messenger hastily left the room, shutting the door behind it.
Messenger floated down the hall. It was in its non-physical form, which was a near heavenly experience after being trapped in the stiff body of a centaur. Messenger truly did hate the centaur body it had to dawn every time it visited humans. The human body was even worse, in its opinion, yet such things were merely obstacles, which it had to overcome to achieve its mission.
Another presence interrupted Messenger's beloved silence. It knew, without confirming, exactly who this presence was and what it wanted.
'The human child is beginning to question our motives.' Messenger reported, 'She has yet to consciously ask about us, however, it shall only be a matter of time.'
'If the child realizes what we are trying to accomplish, it is likely she will become dangerous, perhaps deadly. Her emotions are too attached and her youth is blinding her. She must remain as oblivious as possible until we have completed testing Simple Human. If he survives, he will be returned to her.'
Messenger felt a sense of satisfaction from the presence, which soon removed itself, allowing sweet silence to consume Messenger once more.
It liked silence.
Author's note: I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing. Sakura's inner conflicts with herself is something I tried to bring into a bit more light than Fanfiction (ever) tends to show, so I hope I did ok. Next chapter is frinkin long, so it is taking up a majority of my free time. With luck, it will be up soon.