I don't own Harry Potter. CURSE YOU JK ROWLING...BUT CURSE YOU AFTER THE REST OF THE BOOKS COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at the name Harry.

"Ah, yes," Snape said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new-celebrity." Draco (Dragon-dung) Malfoy and his friends sniggered behind their hands. Salazar's eyes turned red for a brief moment (1) with anger. Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black like Hagrid's, but they had none of Hagrid's warmth. They were cold and empty and made you think of a dark tunnel.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word-like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. It was all intimidation, Salazar thought. So, of course, he wasn't intimidated and wouldn't be afraid of the man. Anyone who was reduced to intimidating children wasn't someone to be frightened of.

"As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses....I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory , even stopper death-if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

More silence followed this little speech. Salazar noticed when Snape said the last part he was glaring mainly at the Gryffindors, but his eyes flickered over to rest on the Slytherins a bit. Salazar and Ron exchanged looks with raised eyebrows. Apparently, he wasn't the only one to notice that little peculiarity with Snape, who so obviously favored the Slytherins. Hermione was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead, either that, or she had to use the bathroom badly.

"Potter," Snape said suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Salazar internally rolled his eyes and wondered just how he should answer. He looked at Seamus and saw him looking confused, so he put on a hopefully convincing confused face, thought "powdered root of what to an infusion of what?" just in case the professor knew Legilimency, and looked over at Ron, who looked as stumped as, hopefully, he was. Meanwhile, Hermione's hand had shot into the air. Salazar mentally rolled his eyes again. The reason why he was pretending to look completely confused was because he didn't want to stand out from any of the other Gryffindors. Besides, Salazar thought, the greasy git would just find in that another way to take points off of me.

"I don't know, sir," lied Salazar. Snape's lips curled into a sneer.

"Tut, tut-fame clearly isn't everything." Salazar knew that he was probably a little flustered from anger and tried to ignore Hermione's wildly waving hand.

"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

Hermione stretched her hand as high into the air as it would go with out leaving her seat, but Salazar pretended he didn't have the faintest idea what a bezoar was, which, of course was a stone that is taken from the stomach of a goat and is able to nullify most poisons. And powdered root of asphodel added to an infusion of wormwood creates the draught of the Living Death. Opps, he did NOT just think that. Damn, why did he never take the time to learn Occlumency?! He hoped that his panic didn't show on his face, and resisted the urge to look around him, for he was sure that if he saw Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, he knew that he would see them laughing hysterically at his own suspense and then he'd most likely Crucio them into oblivion (A/N: Man, that was one long run on sentence).

"I don't know, sir." Damn, all this lying definitely can not be good for my karma. Salazar looked straight into the Potions Master's eyes, or at least tried to. He ended up staring at the area between his eyes, otherwise the head of Slytherin would've been dead before e could yell out "Aarg!" Snape and Salazar ignored Hermione's, now convulsing, hand.

"What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Salazar wanted to pound his (Salazar's) head into the wall. Snape must have been getting fed up with his feigned incompetence. Either that, or he was testing Salazar to see if he really was Potter. Oh well, at least he got to promote Hermione Granger and the other Mudbloods...er, Muggleborns, to the genius level of society, for Hermione had finally stood up, her hand stretching to the dungeon ceiling, while "Harry Potter" was rather unenthusiastically sitting in his chair.

"I don't know," Salazar said quietly. While he seemed to have become rather meek, the reality was that he was ready to implode with anger. If he started murmuring and cursing softly in Greek, well it'd be very unlikely that the whole foundation of Hogwarts would still be standing if Snape provoked him to that extent. That's it, Salazar mentally decided, I have to say something, I can't allow this snarky bastard to continue to insult MY intelligence.

"I think Hermione does though, why don't you try her?" A few people laughed. Salazar was covertly looking around the room, in the process, he caught Seamus' eye, or vice-versa, and Seamus winked. Salazar, however could see that the Potions' Master was getting pissed, and desperately hoped to every deity known to man that everyone would just stop laughing. Of course, with Salazar's karma, no one answered or heard his pleas to Heaven.

"Sit down," Snape barked to Hermione. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful, it is known as the Draught of the Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?" Well of course they aren't taking down notes, if the had done that, you would've yelled at them and taken points off for not paying attention. Salazar was in a vengeful mood, and it didn't help when Snape said over the din created by students rummaging for parchment that a point had been taken from Gryffindor for "your cheek, Potter."

Things didn't improve for the Gryffindors as the Potions lesson continued. Snape put them all into pairs and set them mixing up a simple potion to cure boils. He swept around in his long black cloak, watching them weigh dried nettles and crush snake fangs, criticizing almost everyone except Malfoy, whom he seemed to like. He was just telling everyone to look at the perfect way Malfoy had stewed his horned slugs when clouds of acid green smoke and a loud hissing filled the dungeon. Neville had somehow managed to melt Seamus' cauldron into a twisted blob, and their potion was seeping across the stone floor, burning holes in people's shoes. Within seconds, the whole class was standing on their stools while Neville, who had been drenched in the potion when the cauldron collapsed, moaned in pain as angry red boils sprang up all over his arms and legs.

"Idiot boy!" snarled Snape, clearing the spilled potion away with one wave of his wand. "I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?"

Neville whimpered as boils started to pop up all over his nose.

"Take him to the hospital wing," Snape spat at Seamus. It might also be noted that Seamus had also taken a wallop of the concoction as he had tried to pull Neville away. Of course, Snape had conveniently forgotten to notice this; if it had been Malfoy who had pulled (or pushed) another Slytherin out of (or into) harm's way, Slytherin House would've gained a hundred points before the unfortunate soul who was harmed could say, "Ow."

Snape rounded on Salazar and Ron, who had been working next to Neville. Ron was fidgetting, he had taken a splash of the potion on his leg.

"You-Potter-why didn't you tell him not to add the quills? Thought it would make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Gryffindor." Salazar would've bet good money that he looked like an enraged Tom Riddle, and at the moment, he was glad of it. What the hell do you want me to do? If I had tried to help him, you would've taken points off for cheating or something along those lines! Besides, if I had shone my true proficiency for potions you would've thought I was cheating, or you might even hazard the guess that I'm related to Slytherin, and that's too close to the truth for comfort. Apparently, Salazar had opened his mouth to argue the point, for Ron kicked him, and muttered, "Don't push it. I've heard that Snape can turn very nasty." Salazar wanted to scream at Ron. You think that HE can turn 'very nasty'? What about me? Do you suppose me to be a docile sheep?! I'll teach the snarky bastard a thing or four about intimidation!!!! By the end of the class, Salazar was wondering that, if he were to torture the greasy git, if he could get out of Azkaban by claiming that he was doing community service for his parish. His guess was, 'no'.

~Fin~

1. The Slytherin family's eyes turn permanently red when they come into their full powers and stuff. Since Harry is the reincarnation of Salazar Slytherin, it should make sense that since he isn't old enough yet, he should have the same abilities, characteristics and personality of Salazar Slytherin. Harry's eyes will turn red when he's really angry.)