Wakaba took an immediate dislike to Anthy. The girl was weird, and impossible to understand, with her reserved smile and vacant eyes. Wakaba had always believed the eyes were windows to the soul. If that was so Anthy Himemiya had no soul; her eyes conveyed neither personality nor thought, nor any aspect of being. They were like the glass eyes of a doll, and hiding behind them was a non-person who had somehow captivated the attention of Wakaba's best friend.

That was another reason Wakaba disliked her. She was reluctant to admit it, even to herself, but she was jealous. Utena had always been her best friend. There were others they hung out with, others whom Utena talked to and spent time with and cared about, but none who had ever mattered to her as much as Wakaba. Why Utena had always adored her so much, Wakaba was not sure. She knew, with the sort of intuitive knowledge that one has in sensing a change in the weather or a destined love, that Utena was a special person. Utena had always been that way – a person marked somehow to have extraordinary experiences and exist in the brilliant light of others' admiration. She was a star gleaming brightly in the sky, her presence overshadowing all others. Wakaba recognized this intangible quality in her, was drawn to her just as countless others were; and for some reason, Utena had picked her. It made Wakaba feel, like the moon glowing from the reflected light of the sun, somehow special, in her own small way. She had always been grateful to Utena for that.

But now… Now, here was Anthy. She had come out of nowhere, had just appeared this morning hovering behind Utena like an extension of her shadow, and Wakaba had seen instantly in Utena's protective stance towards her, in the loving expression in her blue eyes, that she had been replaced. Without warning, without even a show of effort, Anthy had come between them.

The worst part was that there was no explanation, no visible reason for it at all. Utena had laughed it off and introduced them, prattling about that feeling of "déjà vu" and how Anthy was another one.

Yes, Anthy was another one… But wherever they had known each other from before, Anthy and Wakaba had not been friends; she could feel that much.

Wakaba disliked the jealous, bitter person opening up inside of herself after Anthy's arrival, so after an afternoon of sulking, she resolved to humor Utena and do her best to befriend this strange, submissive creature that had latched onto her. Perhaps if she became friends with her, that demure façade would melt away, and a real person would exist underneath. She should just act as if everything was normal, and maybe it would turn out all right. At the very least, she had to try to be kind to Anthy for Utena's sake; she wanted Utena to understand that no matter what, her best friend Wakaba would always be there for her.

So it was that the next morning, Wakaba rose determined to do her best to be friendly to Anthy. She remembered that today was Thursday – the day Nemuro had his office hours – and that thought brightened her mood considerably. This was something private between her and Utena, a shared memory and a promise. She would finally meet the elusive (and so handsome!) professor, whom she had only seen from a distance.

Utena would almost certainly forget the roses, so Wakaba cheerfully determined to buy some herself. It was a good thing Utena had her to depend on for such things – otherwise, she'd never make a proper apology to the man!

She bought the roses before her first class. During her lunch hour, she skipped off to meet Utena at their usual spot in the center of the arts quad. Anthy and her little monkey-pet-thing were there, which disappointed her a little, but she quickly masked that emotion and flung herself, in her usual fashion, onto the back of her best friend.

"U-te-na!"

"Wakaba!" Utena staggered, choking at the slender arms wrapped around her neck.

"Did you forget about me Utena? You forgot our appointment, didn't you?"

"Can't… breathe…"

"I knew you would. Look, I even brought the roses!" Wakaba giggled and waved the small bouquet under Utena's nose.

"Roses?" Utena straightened as her friend at last released her. She looked thoughtful. "Oh, right… Professor Nemuro. Actually, I ran into him the other day, and I—"

"You what?" cried Wakaba. The pang of that disappointment was sharp. "You saw him without me?"

"No, well yes, but I just happened to run into him as he was going to pick up some packages. I told him I was sorry, and to pay him back I helped him carry some stuff." Seeing the expression on her face, Utena added with a defeated smile, "But, I guess he'd probably appreciate the roses…"

"Of course he would!" Wakaba declared, regaining her spirits.

"Um, Wakaba… not that I want to encourage you with Daron, but should you really be so eager to meet this guy when you've already got a boyfriend?"

"Utena, you are so silly! It's not like that. I just want to meet him because he's famous."

"Oh. So you want to be able to tell all your friends you met Professor Nemuro and gave him flowers?"

"Exactly!" Wakaba beamed at her.

"I get it." Utena glanced at Anthy, as if looking for her opinion. It was a small gesture, but one Wakaba did not fail to notice. There was such intimacy in the slight glance, in the silent communication between them…

She shook it out of her mind.

"Himemiya, do you mind if we make a quick trip to the professor's office before lunch?" asked Utena.

"Not at all," said Anthy, vacant smile in place.

"Of course she doesn't mind! She'll get to meet him, too," said Wakaba, trying to sound friendly although she could not bring herself to trust that girl's enigmatic personality. "Come on!"

So, the three of them set off. Within a few minutes they found themselves at the door to Nemuro's office. Utena knocked, and after he had called for them to come in, the three of them entered.

"Hi." Utena waved almost apologetically.

Professor Nemuro was exactly as rumors described him – slender, pale, and serious, with fine features and light pink hair that on anyone else would probably have looked ridiculous, but on him seemed perfectly natural. He dressed formally, like most professors, though to the button-down shirt and vest he added black gloves and tinted glasses, which together with his remarkable youth and pink hair made his appearance quite unique. His light purple jacket had been draped over the back of his chair.

Another part of the rumors was that he was dry and unfriendly, less like a human than a computer, seldom if ever cracking a smile and never laughing. From the silent stare with which he returned Utena's greeting, Wakaba judged this part of the rumors to be accurate, as well.

Utena thrust the roses at him. "Professor, this is the rest of my apology, for the black eye I gave you. I'm really sorry about that. This is my best friend Wakaba, who came along so she could meet you, and this is Anthy Himemiya."

As she spoke, Wakaba smiled and bowed politely to the professor. If there was any expression in his impassive face, she'd guess it to be annoyance. His gaze shifted from Utena to her, and paused on her face. Wakaba's mouth dropped slightly open. Her heart beat swiftly.

Those eyes… I've seen eyes like his before… but they were red.

Before she could react to the feeling – almost like panic – that stirred inside her, the professor's attention had moved on, focusing on Anthy. His gaze lingered on her. Wakaba wondered what color his eyes were behind his glasses. Recovering from her surprise, she leaned forward and exclaimed, "I hope we're not intruding. I couldn't believe when Utena told me she did that!"

Her words drew the professor's attention away from Anthy. "These are my office hours. Visitors are free to enter," he answered Wakaba.

Wakaba smiled, pushing aside the strange feeling that she had experienced. She could talk that over with Utena later – right now, it was her one chance to interact with Nemuro. She took it eagerly, saying, "It must have shocked you! But Utena is goofy like that sometimes. I'm so glad you didn't report her! It really was just a mistake."

"Yes, I know."

"Did she tell you how she mistook you for my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Unbelievable, isn't it? I mean, you look nothing like him! Actually, you're a lot better looking than he is – don't tell him I said that, though." She giggled. "My friends are going to be sooo jealous that I met you. Professor, do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Really? I can't believe it! Katie was sure you must have somebody. But I guess you're so busy with your work, you haven't time in your life for that sort of thing—"

She chatted happily, supplying nine-tenths of the conversation. Utena smiled sheepishly in the background, and Anthy was quiet as usual. Nemuro, though one could hardly have called him amiable, was not as cold as rumor had led Wakaba to believe. For the most part he supplied answers to her questions, and if he spoke only in monosyllables, at least his tone was polite enough. … or perhaps she was simply giving him the benefit of the doubt, because he was handsome and intelligent and respected. But he was talking to her, wasn't he? Yes, he was, even if his gaze was more often on Anthy than on her.

Anthy… what was it everyone saw in Anthy?

"Thank you for the roses," he said at one point.

"Oh, the roses! They'll need water. I'll go and get some for them. Let's see… this will do, perfectly. Can I use your coffee mug, Professor?" Wakaba lifted the mug that had been sitting on the edge of his desk.

"Yes."

"Thanks!" She beamed at him, then hurried out of the room and down the hall to the water fountain. When she returned, the statement she heard from outside the door gave her pause. Instead of entering, she leaned forward to listen closely.

"You found what you were looking for."

The voice was Nemuro's. The reply that came afterwards brought a frown to Wakaba's face.

"Eh?" said Utena. "… Yeah, I guess I did."

Then came a small rustle of motion, and Anthy's soft voice: "We found each other."

… found each other. What does that mean? wondered Wakaba.

Footsteps behind her startled her. She gave a faint squeal, reddening, and whirled to find a young man carrying a package.

"Is this Professor Nemuro's office?" asked the young man.

Wakaba nodded. "It is, yes. Um, is that package for him?"

"Yes."

"I'll give it to him." She took the box from the messenger and opened the door, hoping the blush had vanished from her cheeks so that Utena wouldn't guess she'd been eavesdropping. "Package!" she chirped to the group.

From the faint arch of Nemuro's eyebrow, he wasn't expecting any packages. Wakaba set it on the desk, and it was only as she put it down that she noticed that the label with Nemuro's address was decorated with a strangely familiar rose emblem. She gazed at the design in silence, before glancing around to see if the others had recognized it.

Utena and Nemuro, from their subdued expressions, both experienced the same sense of déjà vu as Wakaba. Furthermore, it might have been only her imagination, but… it seemed as if the professor was actually reluctant to open the box.

Startling everybody was Anthy's reaction. She laid her hands over the box and pulled it away from them.

"You must not open this," she said quietly.

All three stared at her in surprise.

"Why mustn't I open it?" asked the professor.

"It would not be a good idea," she said meekly, cradling the box to her chest.

"Explain that."

"Have you any bad memories or… dreams?" she asked.

The professor's negative response to this question surprised Wakaba. His eyes narrowed, and he stepped forward and removed the box from her grasp. "This could possibly be something important, relating to my research or otherwise; I must check its contents."

"Research?" echoed Anthy.

"He's working on a perpetual motion device," supplied Utena.

Anthy's eyes widened slightly, and she looked up at Nemuro with an expression Wakaba could not interpret. "In that case, perhaps it won't matter. You are still the same clockwork toy treading the tracks he laid out for you."

"What?" The professor frowned.

Anthy's eyes lowered. "What you seek cannot be found in that box, but you will look anyway."

"Huh?" said Utena, giving voice to the perplexity Wakaba was feeling.

Anthy and the professor continued to speak as if no one else was in the room.

"Who are you?" asked Nemuro.

Just what I want to know, thought Wakaba.

"I transferred here just recently." Anthy smiled at him, mask back up in place. "It's a good school, I've heard."

"What school did you transfer from?" asked Nemuro.

"Mount Holyoke. It's an all-girls school."

"Hm." He returned to his seat behind his desk. Wakaba got the distinct impression that he did not believe Anthy. "What classes are you taking?"

"Printmaking, an art history class, French, Spanish, and an independent study."

"I know a few of the French faculty. Who is your instructor?" queried Nemuro.

"Oh…" Anthy's face adopted an expression of dismay. "I never get the name right. We just call him 'professeur.'"

"What level class are you in?"

She smiled. "It's a beginner course."

"At what hour?" pressed Nemuro, whose hand had moved subtly across the desk to press a few quick keys at his computer.

Utena and Wakaba were both fascinated by this interrogation, and Wakaba was silently routing for the professor, hoping he would catch Anthy in a lie and force her to disclose her true identity, but at that moment a squeal and rustling sounds coming from a paper bag on the corner of his desk caught everyone's attention. Chuchu had gotten into the professor's lunch.

"Chuchu!" scolded Anthy, pulling the tiny rodent-animal from the bag. "How bad of you! That was the professor's. I'm so sorry professor." She bowed to Nemuro. "I'll make you a lunch to make up for it."

"No, that's all right." Nemuro's eyes remained on the rodent. It was the first time he had seen it.

Wakaba could not help but wonder at the convenient timing of that little animal in interrupting Nemuro's questions.

"No, it's my fault; I'll get you something else to eat right away," said Anthy. She turned to Utena. "Perhaps we could pick something up when we go to lunch?"

"Ah… yeah, we can do that," said Utena, shooting uncertain glances between Anthy and the professor.

Apparently the quest to replace Nemuro's ruined lunch was also the excuse for them to leave. Anthy insisted on making up for her pet's mistake, and when Utena followed Anthy to the door, Wakaba hurried after them.

"It was great to meet you!" Wakaba exclaimed to the professor. "Bye!"

"Sorry again for disrupting your work," said Utena. Her gaze lingered momentarily on the package, before she trailed Anthy out into the hall.

As they walked away, Wakaba stepped close to Utena and said, "See, Utena? He's not really that bad."

"Mm-hmm… yeah…"

"He was really patient about having his lunch ruined, too! Now we have another thing to apologize to him for."

"I guess."

"You should keep better track of your pets, Anthy! It isn't nice to let them steal people's food!" Wakaba scolded and prattled with her usual enthusiasm. She did not fail to notice how subdued Utena was, but she decided to overlook it for now; she wanted to be as friendly as possible around Anthy, and she did not want to talk about anything of importance while that girl wasnearby to overhear.

So, she kept up the friendly conversation all the way to the dining hall. Utena perked up again after awhile. Anthy was enigmatic as usual, and occupied herself feeding Chuchu strawberries from the cake she bought for dessert.

Somehow, through eating and conversation and worrying about classes, they forgot to bring the professor something to replace his lost lunch…

(in the
professor's
office...)

When they had gone, Nemuro ran a quick search through the university system and found, as expected, no trace of Anthy Himemiya's name. He sank down into his chair and stared at the package, a thin frown on his lips. His hallucination of Mikage in his reflection in the storefront window, followed by his drive this morning with Akio, had been enough to make him question the stability of his mind. He was still not certain how much of what he'd experienced had been real. Perhaps none of it had been; but if what Tokiko had said was correct, and it was he who had burned down that building…

It is possible that in the period of my life in which Tenjou and Ohtori existed, I burned that building and somehow escaped prosecution. Then it would be feasible for me to be having dreams about it, stemming from the guilt in my subconscious mind…

He leaned his head on his hand and removed his glasses so that he could rub his eyes.

… could I have done such a thing?

Recollection of the deep and terrible guilt he had felt in Tokiko's presence brought a more severe frown to his face. Yet he had his doubts about the reality of the encounter. For one thing, Akio Ohtori had driven him to that graveyard. Akio knew of his dreams, which Nemuro had never spoken of to anyone. If Akio was real, how did he know of those dreams? If he was not real, how had he driven him to the graveyard, and who had sent the package with the rose symbol that all of them had recognized?

Then there was Anthy, who was as much an enigma to him as Akio. She had come in with Utena Tenjou, like an extension of her soul… He had seen it in the first glimpse of Tenjou's face, in the contentment on Anthy's. They had found each other.

A part of him was blandly congratulatory to Tenjou. A part of him was intensely jealous. Mostly, though, he was confused. His life and Mikage's were merging together in ways he had never anticipated. He felt as if his grip on reality were falling apart, as if his life were fracturing, and he could not put the pieces together in any logical way.

Whereas Utena's life had just come together. I am glad for her, he decided. She deserves it; I am glad for her.

That did not help him to solve his own difficulties, however, and as proof before him lay that unopened box. That rose design, so hauntingly familiar… A strong instinct urged him to heed Anthy's warning and leave it alone. However, Nemuro was a scientist. Ignoring the evidence, setting it aside on the basis of some vague intuition, would not help him to understand his position. He needed to gather all the information he could, including whatever lay in this package that had startled Anthy so much that she had briefly dropped her act in front of him (for he had seen, at the beginning, that such had not been her initial intention; she had to keep fooling Tenjou, after all).

He cut the tape that held the box closed, and opened it. Buried within white pieces of packaging foam he found…

Photographs. A dozen, or more, photographs. They were black and white, set in frames he recognized. He had taken these, himself, back when…

When? Where was I? Who was I, then?

He had the nagging suspicion that it was not he, but Mikage who had taken them. Looking closer, he thought, Mikage would know these photographs. He will know them better than I do.

But he wondered whether he wanted Mikage to see them. He was not certain that he wished to delve deeper, to risk further intertwining Mikage's life with his own. Was he encouraging his own madness, or merely uncovering the truth? He searched, frame after frame, and found… Wakaba Shinohara, Utena Tenjou, himself, and… the other names were just beyond his grasp, but he knew the faces. He recognized them all.

His hands found, buried in the foam, one final picture that he pulled out. Time seemed to grind to a halt as he stared at it, at the hundred youths staring back, their uniforms so familiar, so…

The picture moved. It flashed into color, and the young men all turned their heads to look at him. He dropped it.

"Sempai…"

"Mamiya?" Nemuro was startled at the voice that was familiar, but out of place.

The boy from his dreams of Mikage stood in a corner, looking sadly at him. The books on the shelves had faded away. The room was darker, stark, changing. He looked down at himself, and found he was not in his own clothes, but in the plain grey prison-like outfit of his counterpart.

How? I didn't fall asleep. That picture—

He remembered now. Those hundred youths were the victims of the fire that had burned down the building. He sank to the cold, concrete floor, shuddering as the faint echo of laughter reverberated from somewhere in the asylum, or perhaps from somewhere in the recesses of his mind -the laughter of those hundred youths. Which one of us was it? Was it Mikage, or Nemuro? Which one of the two am I now?

He closed his eyes. Slowly, he picked through the pieces of his fragmented recollections. I am in the asylum with Mamiya, whom Nemuro has never seen. Clearly I am Mikage. I must have dozed off while looking at those pictures – unusual, but understandable since I slept so poorly last night.

There were other unexplained, unanswered questions, but as his brief experiment with Mamiya and the magazine had proven, there were many things that lacked rational explanation. Or, he added to himself, it is just possible that my mind is so damaged that I am incapable of rational thought, and therein lies the problem.

Whatever reason there was – whether he was slowly losing his sanity, which seemed the most likely case, or whether there was some improbable physics-defying explanation for why he had two simultaneous lives – it was clear that he could not escape their gradual merging.

"Sempai, you look sad."

He did not reply to the voice.

"Sempai, why are you so troubled?"

A soft touch on his shoulder, and his eyes flew open. Mamiya knelt next to him, so close that he could feel his comforting warmth. The boy's hands were on his arm, a gentle concerned touch.

He clasped Mamiya's wrists and pushed him away. "Who are you?" he asked in a flat, emotionless tone.

"Sempai!" The boy looked startled.

"Tokiko's brother is dead. I visited his grave this morning." The environment was Mikage's, but the personality that found itself here incongruously was Nemuro. He stood up and looked down at the boy. "I'm not sure who you are… but I know you aren't who Mikage believed you were. What games were you playing with him, to convince him to burn down a building with a hundred students in it?"

"It was you who did that," the boy said softly.

"If that is so, why is Mikage in the asylum for it, instead of me?"

"You are the same."

"So it seems; but then why do I have two different lives? Why is one in the asylum, and one at the university? Why am I split in two?"

"Because you're crazy," said a voice.

He glanced up. He wasn't sure whether it was Mamiya, the nurse he'd briefly glimpsed in the doorway, or himself that spoke, but he suddenly found himself blinking at the open door to his office, in which a student stood, looking hesitantly at him. He was slumped over his desk, his arms resting on the pile of photographs, on which he had fallen asleep.

"Professor… I'm sorry," said the young man. "I didn't mean to disturb you, but…"

"No, it's my fault. I didn't sleep too well last night. I must've dozed off," murmured Nemuro, sweeping the pictures off the table and back into the box, which he shoved into the far corner of the room, to never be opened again. He adjusted his glasses and focused his attention on the student. "Now, what can I help you with?"

(Author's note: I had some trouble with this chapter... not sure if Wakaba's character is all right. The next chapter is more eventful, but this one is important in setting it up. Akio returns next chapter, so you can expect bad things to happen.

Hofftailing: You're right, it is going to be a very long road for everyone... especially the hapless author O.o How did I get myself started on such a long fic? Glad you're enjoying the story!

Celeste: I want to bring Tokiko back again later, but to be quite honest I'm not sure how to portray her. We see so little of her... it seems like something that has to happen, though. Nemuro/Mikage has to be forced to confront his past. I'm glad to have another fan of Nemuro enjoying the story!

Tenjou Utena: You can definitely expect Utena/Nemuro "hints" later in the story, but probably not more than that. It's hard to predict what'll happen and harder to summarize what I've plotted out so far, but I will say that their relationship is central to the story.

BaKaGaiJiN: Thanks for the review! I'm trying to update regularly, I promise)