Utena was not fooled. "Called in sick? More like he wants to avoid us. I know he's got something to do with Anthy's disappearance!"
"Oh, come on, Utena. She was a weird girl. She just left, that's all," said Wakaba, rolling her eyes. "Besides, the professor wouldn't do something like that. He's a nice person."
"Like hell," growled Utena, closing her fist over the note Anthy had left for her. She had kept it with her, as if the key to finding her friend lay in its sparse sentences.
"You're just suspicious because you had that dream about him," decided Wakaba.
"It's not just the dream. There was something in that box that he didn't want us to see. I want to know what it is. Besides, calling in sick on the same day that Anthy disappears is too much of a coincidence!"
"You are sooo overreacting. Just wait until tomorrow. I'll bet he'll talk to us then. Just wait and see!"
Utena grumbled, disliking the delay and not trusting Nemuro, but she was persuaded by Wakaba's persistent coaxing, and by the simple logic of the fact that indeed, she had no evidence to support her suspicion of the professor. So he had received a package – what did that prove? Anthy herself had admitted to ignorance about the box's contents. Also, it wasn't as if Anthy had just vanished. The note proved her leaving was voluntary.
Even so, Utena was restless and uncomfortable all day. She waited anxiously for some reply from Nemuro, whom she emailed and called, leaving a message on both his home and office answering machines. He did not bother to call back – which was perfectly typical of him, but it made Utena angry all the same.
Over the weekend no news was forthcoming from any direction. Utena's anxiety decreased slightly with the simple, mundane routine of her days, but even during the middle of a shopping trip with an excited Wakaba she was subdued. Monday rolled around at last, and she again called in at the professor's office. It was empty, so she skipped her History of Greek Art class to attend the physics seminar he taught.
The teacher was a substitute.
"Okay," Utena admitted to herself as she left, "that's too far even for Professor Nemuro to go to avoid someone… I guess he really must be sick." That thought brought with it both disappointment and some guilt, for she had been pinning blame on him unfairly.
Wakaba's conversation with her two hours later brought her suspicions flaring back again.
"Utena!" cried Wakaba, glimpsing her across the arts quad. "Utena! Wait up!"
She turned around, waving to her friend and smiling. "Yo, Wakaba. What's up? You look flustered."
"I just heard the most awful news!" exclaimed the girl, eyes wide with agitation. "My advisor was talking to one of the TA's about it. Professor Nemuro had a nervous breakdown, and admitted himself into a mental hospital. Now he's on an indefinite leave… Oh, Utena, isn't it terrible? And he seemed just fine last week!"
The smile vanished from Utena's face. "He what? Are you sure?"
"Yes, yes! It wasn't just a rumor – my faculty advisor is good friends with the head of the physics department. That poor man! I feel terrible for him!"
Utena frowned. She was silent for several minutes, contemplating while Wakaba moaned sympathy for the professor, and lamented the loss of such a young and handsome teacher (who would doubtless be replaced by some boring old grouch).
"He disappeared… and Anthy did… on the same day," she said to herself, expression darkening.
"Yes! And here you were blaming him for getting rid of her. Utena, don't you feel awful?"
"Wakaba," said Utena sharply, "we're going to get into Professor Nemuro's office."
"Wha--?" Wakaba's eyes rounded.
"He had a nervous breakdown the day after he received that package, right? Anthy told him it might be trouble, and he opened it anyway. Maybe I'm just crazy, and their disappearances are unconnected and the box has nothing to do with it all, but I have a hunch about all this and I can't rest until I check it out." She gazed with determination at her friend. "Are you with me?"
"Umm… Well, you're right… he did act a little funny about the package. What if it was something that upset him? Hmmm… All right!" she decided energetically. "If you're going to investigate, Utena, I'll be right along with you! That's what I'm here for! Let's go and get to the bottom of this!"
"Right. First we have to figure out a way into his office."
"Leave that to me!" declared Wakaba, smiling. She set off towards the physics building, and Utena followed, wondering what she had in mind.
She found out ten minutes later, as Wakaba lamented to her faculty advisor, "The last place I had it was in Professor Nemuro's office… I think I must have dropped it when we brought him the flowers. Could we just check real quick? Without my wallet I can't do anything. I really need my ID and stuff…"
"Hold on, let me call and see if I can find someone to open it for you," said the advisor, picking up the phone.
Wakaba turned back to Utena and gave a grin and a thumbs up.
Utena smiled back at her.
Five minutes after that, the building manager opened the door to Professor Nemuro's office, and Wakaba called his attention to the flowers withering on the desk and explained how they had brought them there while Utena furtively snuck to the corner and opened the box.
Photographs. Over a dozen framed photographs. They sent her mind reeling, brought a piercing pain into her head, and flashes of recollection.
These people… I know these people…
She had to work quickly, though. Wakaba could only distract the man for so long. She sifted through, trying to ignore the almost painful sensation of remembrance each picture brought. She looked at each and every one for some clue. What if it was something only Nemuro would have remembered? What if—
The corner of an unframed photograph of the professor caught her attention. She lifted it, wondering why it had been removed from its frame. On the back, written in neat, precise letters, was last Friday's date, and the address of Chihido Mental Hospital. Utena slipped the photograph into her pocket.
"Hey you, don't go messing with his stuff," growled the building manager.
Utena smiled back at him. "Oh, sorry. He showed us this on Friday, actually. It arrived while we were visiting. Did you know he has a picture of you, Wakaba?"
"Really?" Wakaba stepped forward.
Utena lifted the framed image of Wakaba, wearing an unusually fierce expression and dressed in a sort of military uniform. Puppets, flashed through her head. Black rose.
Wakaba's mouth dropped open at the sight of the image. She froze, her eyes widening and growing distant.
Yes, we both remember something not right here… Something hidden and forgotten.
"Come on, girls, look for the wallet," said the building manager.
"Um… ah…" Wakaba stammered.
"Well, it's not on this side of the room anywhere," said Utena, rising. She cocked her head. "Find anything, Wakaba? Say, maybe we should give those roses some more water."
"Nah. They're almost dead anyway," said the building manager. "Leave 'em. The janitor'll take care of it."
Wakaba had recovered her senses. She took her wallet out of her pocket and bent down by the desk as if she had just found it. "Here it is! Thank goodness, I was afraid it wouldn't be here!"
"You found it? Great," said Utena, smiling.
"Good. Okay, let's go," said the building manager.
The two young women allowed themselves to be ushered out, and thanked the man for their assistance. When he had gone, Wakaba looked at Utena.
"Maybe you're right about this business. I don't like that he had that photograph of me. It's… creepy. Where did he get it from, anyway?"
"You don't remember where it's from?"
She shook her head. "No… I've never seen those clothes before. I don't… That's the weirdest part." She suddenly looked indignant. "Maybe it's a composite! What if he has some weird fetish for girls in military uniforms? He might have put my face on someone else!"
"I don't think he's that kind of guy. Anyway, I get the feeling that picture was real," said Utena. She gave a slight smile as she pulled the photograph of Nemuro from her pocket and offered it to Wakaba. "We can ask him about it when we see him."
"Huh?" Wakaba examined it, and found the address. "So he really did go to a mental hospital. I knew it!"
"Yeah. I wonder why, though. Now that I've seen what was in that box, I know there's more to it than just a nervous breakdown. I bet he knows what it's all about, too. Looks like it's a bit of a drive, though. How about it. Are you up for it?" She looked questioningly at her friend.
"You bet!" declared Wakaba, clapping a hand into her fist. "There's a mystery here, and we're gonna solve it! Got any classes left today?"
"Nope."
"Then let's go!"
(Later,
at Chihido
Mental
Hospital)
Professor Nemuro was not listed as a patient at Chihido Mental Hospital. Utena frowned, puzzled and disappointed as the receptionist informed her that no one of that name had been admitted there.
"But this is where he's supposed to be, isn't it?" said Wakaba, distraught.
"I'm sorry, but no one of that name is here," said the receptionist.
"Thank you anyway," murmured Utena, disappointed. She and Wakaba turned away.
"I was so sure he'd be here, too!" exclaimed Wakaba, clenching her fist. "And it was such a long drive…"
"Wait a minute!" Struck by an idea, Utena hurried back to the desk. "Excuse me, Miss? My brother might have admitted himself under the name Mikage. Souji Mikage. Is he listed?"
The woman looked skeptically at her, then looked him up. "… Yes, he was admitted here a few days ago."
"All right! Can we see him?"
The receptionist picked up the phone. "I'll find out. I don't think he's allowed visitors, but…"
"I'm his sister, though!"
"Just a minute, Miss…" Into the phone she said, "Hello? Yes, I've got a young lady here who wants to visit her brother, Souji Mikage. He's not accepting visitors?"
"Please," whispered Utena, giving the most round-eyed, teary expression she could muster. "It's urgent."
In the background, Wakaba exclaimed, "Ooooh, you have to let us see him! We drove all this way and he's her brother and he hasn't seen her in ages and we know he'd like to see us if you just tell him we're here, you can't really stop us from seeing family, can you? It's too cruel! Please just tell him we're here. Tell him it's us and he'll let us in!"
The receptionist continued to speak softly into the phone, looking annoyed at Wakaba's endless stream of objection. Finally, she set it down and turned to them. "They're going to ask for permission. You can take a seat and wait."
"Thank you!" said Utena earnestly.
"Thanks so much!" chirped Wakaba.
They sat down in uncomfortable plastic chairs with thin padding on them, and kept silent for the ten minutes they had to wait until a doctor came in to see them.
"Are you the two young ladies here to see Mr. Mikage?"
"Yes! That's us," said Utena.
"He's agreed to see you. Please come with me."
The two young women followed the doctor out of the reception area. He brought them down a long, narrow corridor, and opened the door at the end into a small room that was apparently intended as a visiting area of sorts. Professor Nemuro, dressed in a plain grey uniform and without his purple glasses, sat patiently waiting in one of the inexpensive metal chairs.
"Professor Nemuro!" exclaimed Wakaba, stepping past Utena.
His red eyes focused on her, hovering momentarily on her features before moving to Utena, whom he gazed at more fixedly.
"Tenjou." He spoke her name as if he had not expected to see her.
"You have fifteen minutes. If you need anything, just pick up that phone there," said the doctor, gesturing to a phone on the wall.
When he had left them alone, Utena turned to Nemuro. "Professor, what's going on? What are you doing here?"
"Why did you have a picture of me in that box?" demanded Wakaba, in a rather accusing tone, before she added with concern, "Did you really have a nervous breakdown, Professor?"
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I asked that question first!" said Utena.
"I made a deal with the Devil, and this is where I ended up. What about you?"
She frowned at him. "Professor, last Friday after you opened the box, what made you decide to check yourself into this place? And why under the name Mikage?"
"Check myself in…? Is that how it's explained, then," he said dryly.
"How what's explained? You aren't making any sense." Utena was befuddled.
"Never mind. It's nothing you need to worry about. The fact is that I am here. Tell me why you bothered to find me."
"We're worried about you!" said Wakaba.
"We found the photographs that were in that box," said Utena solemnly. "Also, Anthy has disappeared."
"Disappeared…?" The first trace of emotion appeared on the professor's face then. He looked concerned, and a slight frown touched the corners of his mouth.
"Yes, she's gone, but she left me this note." Utena pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to him. "Do you know anything about it?"
He opened the note and skimmed it. "No, I…" Then he paused, eyebrows knitting over thoughts Utena could not guess at. He seemed to come to some decision, for he looked at her with sudden sternness and said, "Your friend has been taken by him."
"'Him'?" echoed Utena and Wakaba simultaneously.
"Yes. By the Chairman of Ohtori Academy."
"But… why would he…"
"He's her older brother. His name is Akio Ohtori. He is the man who sent me the box of photographs."
"How do you know about all this?" Utena glared at him and balled her fists. She leaned forward. "Listen, professor, I don't know what sort of game you're playing, but whatever it is, I want answers! Why did you have Wakaba's picture, and what's going on with Anthy?"
"I don't have answers," said Nemuro, simply. "Even if I tried to explain, it wouldn't make any sense to you. The only advice I can give you is to look up the name of the school and try to locate the Chairman. It was he who sent those pictures, so you can ask him for an explanation of them."
Utena relented. "Fine. But tell us what you're doing here, anyway. Did you really have a nervous breakdown?"
"Worse, actually. Significantly worse. But now I am here, so it doesn't matter."
"Oh no, Professor, you can't really want to be in a mental hospital!" said Wakaba. "You're so brilliant! And besides, it's obvious you're not crazy."
"On the contrary, it's become increasingly clear to me that I am."
"You mean… you mean you actually want to be here?" she said, aghast.
He shrugged. "I have no wants."
Utena frowned. "Professor… what was in those photographs, exactly, that made you run to this place? And why under the name Mikage?"
"As I already said, even if I explained, you wouldn't understand. I've told you all I can to help you."
"But—"
Before they could object, he lifted the phone and said into it, "Our visit is done. They're ready to leave now." He hung it up.
Utena frowned. "Professor…"
"One more thing," he said to her, his red eyes cold, sharp – reminding her so much of that puppetmaster in her dreams. "The Chairman is a dangerous person. Do not trust him, and make no bargains with him. Deal with him as you would the Devil. That way, you might be safe."
"Safe?" echoed Wakaba, eyes wide.
He refused to speak further, however. The doctor arrived to escort him back to his room.
As he left, he caught Utena's gaze. His warning flashed again through her mind.
Deal with him as you would the Devil.
"Akio…" She repeated the name softly to herself, wondering at its familiarity. Somehow, it was so intimate… "Akio…"
(A short
while
later...)
As the doctor led him to his room, he said quietly, "Tell me… when was I admitted to this hospital?"
"Oh, ah… It was just last week, wasn't it?"
"Was it?"
"Yes, it was."
"I see." He smiled to himself as he entered his room. The doctor closed the door behind him, and he sank down onto his bed, the smile fixed on his face, wry and self-mocking and a touch bitter as he thought to himself, Last week… So that's the explanation for what happened to me. That's how it seems in the real world.
But that's not how it is, is it? The Chairman of Ohtori Academy did this to me. He plotted the whole thing. All this while, I have been his puppet, and everything – the dreams, the madness, the help I gave him in finding his sister, and the promise of an end to the dreams that also ended my freedom – all of it was plotted out to perfection, right down to the ironic twist at the end. Well done, Akio Ohtori. For all that I am the victim in this sordid scheme, I have to give credit where it is due; very well done.
The smile vanished as he thought of Utena Tenjou and her exuberant companion, Shinohara.
Tenjou… If it's you, the Chairman will surely be defeated.
His eyes half-closed at the remembrance of his final bargain with Ohtori, sealing Himemiya's fate by his indiscretion, causing the disappearance that had drawn Tenjou to seek him in a desperate search for the thing most precious to her. It was his fault that that precious thing had been snatched away again, after being absent for so long.
A faint sense of unease stirred in him. It was a mild discomfort, fluttering in his chest, and he recognized it as one of those emotions that he so rarely felt as Mikage, and even less as Nemuro. It was something his meeting with Tokiko had revived in him so painfully he had felt nauseous, but otherwise it was foreign… guilt. He regretted what he had done, not because it had ended in his permanent existence in an asylum (that was something he deserved, for all that he could tell), but because she had not deserved it. The sensation of remorse did not sit well with him. He was not used to it, feeling for others… this sense of a mistake. He frowned at the discomfort that would not fade.
What is done is done. I have served my purpose for him, used like any good puppet and cast away… Tenjou will beat him. I have caused obstacles for her, but at least I know she will overcome them.
How he was so certain of that, he could not explain. It was one of those things he recognized, as he had recognized his guilt towards Tokiko and his mistrust of Ohtori. Tenjou would challenge the Chairman of Ohtori Academy, fight for Himemiya's freedom, and emerge victorious.
That thought eased the remorse to a dull ache that rapidly faded. He mentally wished the young woman good luck, and after that put the matter out of his mind.
(A/N: Sorry if this chapter was rougher than some of the previous ones. Fancy: Thank you so much for your kind, in-depth review! It motivated me to get off my lazy arse and post something. You're absolutely right about Nemuro/Mikage - I sort of want to shake him and yell at him, too. I feel that way with just about all angsty anime characters I come across... and there are lots of them! But Nemuro's way of dealing with the world fascinates me.
I'm glad you like the way the characters are portrayed. I haven't seen the series in a long time, so I was a bit worried about how I was writing them... especially Wakaba and Anthy. I usually don't write serious fanfiction, but the storyline idea for the fractured reality came into my head, and I just had to put it to down in writing. The chapter you mentioned, with Mikage losing it, is probably my favorite. :D
Thanks for reading!)