Chapter X
The Heart of a Hanyou
Inuyasha follows the dark haired Nobara as they come up to the small stream that ran through village. The memory of that distant night when he was last alone with this woman now burned clear in his mind. He felt his pain and anger slowly boil as he followed her quiet figure. The now dark haired woman continues before him until they stop by the waters edge. The dark waters seem like a cavern before them as Nobara slowly settles herself down on the cool grass. Inuyasha watches her and continues to stand behind her. The last words she said to him ringing in his ears…..
"Inuyasha, I'll be back," Nobara says not being able to watch the child cry. She takes him back in her arms. "I promise I'll be back." She looks out his window into the moonless sky and smiles slightly. She pulls him away from her and faces him, looking into his small brown eyes. "I will come back with the new moon, I promise."
Inuyasha looks down at her, her gaze facing away from him. He could just make out the delicate outline of her face. She looked just as she did then.
"Inuyasha," she sighs her midnight eyes searching the dark flowing water. "You….remember me now don't you?"
Inuyasha folds his arms in the sleeves of his haori and smirks without responding. He turns his eyes away from her into the dark waters. Nobara senses his reaction and lowers her head, the gurgling of the dark water whispering in the silence. She glances to the young hanyou's face and sees the fire in his brown eyes, the pain burning on his stoic face. She turns away as if he had slapped her.
"I know you remember, your eyes tell me more than ever now that you do," her midnight eyes sadden as she looks down away from him.
"What does it matter if I do or not? Ofukuro was right about you."
Nobara jerks her eyes towards him as he avoids her questioning glare.
"She told me you would not come back."
Both figures looked into the dark water; each holding in their hearts a different pain from the same memory. Nobara did not know what to say. Her heart clung in her throat choking her voice. She could not believe that she did what Izayoi knew she would do….abandon again. Inuyasha just continued to stand there. The memories flooding his mind as he smelled Nobara's scent, in the crisp night air; her sweet perfume of roses and smoke. His eyes soften with the memories. He looks down at her quiet form and then decides to sit next to her. He watches her from the corner of his eye. The hanyou he shared so much with once. The child in him yearned for her embrace again, just as she had comforted him that distant night.
"I waited for you, each month," he continues softly, eyes becoming lost in the ripples of the dark water. "Each month ofukuro told me to forget you…I didn't. Then she died and you still didn't come. I gave up….and found it easier to forget."
Nobara's eyes fill with tears the pain in her human heart rising throughout her soul. Pain for the hurt she caused the boy she loved so much.
"Inuyasha," she whispers quietly hiding the sobs in her throat. "Gomen nasai. I never should have left. But I wanted to honor Izayoi's wishes; it was the least I could do for what happened between her and I."
Inuyasha continues to stare into the water, sadness in his eyes over the memory of his mother.
"I did return, but too late," Nobara reveals. Inuyasha glances over to her surprised. "I came back to see you, my journeys returning me to the western lands. But you were gone and Izayoi….was dead. I searched for you; I asked countless youkai if they had seen you. For awhile I followed a faint trail you had left until it vanished with you. I lost hope of ever finding you again. Years passed, and I never forgot you. Not a moment went by when I did not think of you. I wish you could believe that."
Inuyasha continues to look into the dark waters, his face expressionless to her comment. Nobara searches the dark water with her eyes as she continues.
"One day I thought I had found your trail again where some oni were slaughtered. I followed it until it became a dead end. Then I found my first objective for being in that area. It was the day of the new moon and I did not want to face another night as a human. So I searched out the Shikon no Tama and the miko, Kikyou. And I found her nearby."
Nobara stops for a moment, her brow creases as her eyes deepen in the water with the haunting memory of Kikyou's arrow. The spot over her heart burned.
"Then I was sealed," she finally says, her face still troubled. Inuyasha looks over at her, Nobara still held her gaze away from him.
"Did she…she find Kikyou only hours before Kikyou and I met!?"
Nobara raises her left hand and wipes the tears from her eyes. Smirking to herself over her weakness, for showing such a frail emotion.
"Inuyasha…chiichai youkai?" she speaks, a small smile on her lips when she addresses the name she once called him. He turns to her shocked, the memory of that name causing his heart to ache. Her midnight eyes bore into his brown ones. "You will never forgive me for breaking our promise, will you, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha jerks his eyes back to the water, trying to hide the emotions that were rising, and the memories. He then looks back at her and sees her smile.
"Nobara-oba..."he turns away furrowing his brow. "It will take time."
Nobara smiles sadly and nods. She knew she was hoping for too much to be forgiven. She could sense the pain deep in his heart.
The water continues to whisper its inaudible secrets. Both dark haired figures lost in its hypnotic trance. Both clinging to the same loss.
"Inuyasha? Can I tell you something?" Nobara interrupts the waters chant. Uncertain brown eyes glace towards her. Nobara sighs and looks up into the star filled sky above.
"You never knew your father, Inutaisho. Never knew his love, and you feel hurt by his not being there for you and Izayoi. But please listen when I tell you that he loved you very much…."
Somewhere in the temple gardens outside the walls of the manor, Inutaisho crouches watching from the garden, his keen senses focusing on where the young woman slept peacefully. The woman who was to have his child. He sighs, content that she is safe and backs into the shadows to leave until he feels the point of a blade at the back of his throat.
"Ha, the great inu tai-youkai caught off his guard?" a familiar voice chides him. He relaxes slightly and smiles exposing his fangs. He closes his gold eyes.
"Nobara," he says calmly slight annoyance in his voice. He lifts hand to brush the katana away, but it returns.
"No, no!" she teases. "You are trespassing and I have been ordered by the great Inu no Taisho-sama to bring to him all unwanted youkai who come near. Or kill them if they resist."
"Nobara enough," he says sternly knocking away the blade and quickly rising. His great form towering over her. Nobara looks disappointed for a moment then her smirk returns as she sheathes Hisuibara. Inutaisho faces her with an expressionless face. She smiles coyly in response. She then looks at him strangely.
"You are here almost every night," she points out, trying to study the familiar face. "I see you here in the garden, watching her window. Why do you have me guard her if you are here?"
Inutaisho does not answer and begins to walk away. She walks after.
"She is almost due," Nobara says hoping that would soften his disliking to having her find him. The great tai-youkai stops, glancing back at her with his gold eyes.
"It is a son," he says, pride deep in his voice.
"How do you know?" she asks and the tai-youkai glares at her knowingly. She smiles, she had been dying to be alone with him for months, and she was overjoyed that he appeared to be staying. He sat down on a rock in the garden and she joined him. A light was in his eyes she had never seen before.
"His name will be Inuyasha," Inutaisho says, a small smile on his lips as he stares into the night. "He will be the greatest warrior ever."
"Even though he will be a hanyou?" Nobara points out looking down sadly for the child's life as such a creature. Inutaisho looks over to her, understanding her sympathy.
"Hai, he will be the strongest hanyou," he adds thoughtfully looking up into the starry sky. "He will receive Tessaiga from me."
"Nani?" Nobara looks over at her comrade shocked. "I thought Sesshoumaru was to inherit your katanas'?"
Inutaisho looks down, a sad glow dimming his gold eyes.
"My musuko," he sighs. "He has not learned what is needed to be the master of this blade. He only thinks of himself and is arrogant to the needs of others. He does not know what it means to protect."
Nobara looks away almost to defend herself, it sounded like he could have been speaking of her.
"Sesshoumaru shall receive Tenseiga."
"So Inu….yasha will receive the great fang," she says quietly.
"You are sounding as if you would want it," he comments turning bright gold eyes towards her.
"No," she answers turning away blushing slightly. "I am fine with Hisuibara. It is what my family wants."
Inutaisho nods thoughtfully and almost sadly. Toutousai had told him the curse of Hisuibara for her.
"So, Inuyasha will need a help?"
"Huh?" Inutaisho reacts slightly alarmed by her comment.
"Inuyasha will receive your great fang, and become a powerful hanyou. He will need much training for that."
"Hai and I will train him. Train him to be as strong as me," Inutaisho states, standing and unsheathing Tessaiga. The great blade shined in the moonlight. Nobara chuckles at her comrade's enthusiasm.
"He will be lucky to have you for an otou-san," she says sincerely. Inutaisho smiles at her exposing his fangs again and turns to the manor where the woman he loved slept. Within her the child he could not wait to be born.
"He loved you, Inuyasha" Nobara finishes. The young hanyou looks wide eyed into the water. "He could not wait to see you; you and Izayoi were always on his thoughts." Inuyasha felt his chest rise and fall with every breath as she finished. He never knew.
"Oyaji…..he cared about me that much? He had that much hope for me?"
Nobara looks over and smiles tenderly; she reaches out her hand and gently places it on his shoulder. The touch made him jump slightly. He turned his amazed eyes towards her.
"You have become what he wanted you to be, Inuyasha," warmth brimming her dark eyes as she lovingly gazed into his. She smiles slightly. "Just as I always knew you would."
Inuyasha stares into her eyes. He thought of his father and never before had he felt so close to the youkai he spent his whole life trying to become. Inuyasha then turns away, his mind muddled with the emotions in his heart. Nobara could sense his need to be alone and slowly rises. She looks over her shoulder at him before she leaves and sees him sitting by the water. She smiles at the young warrior.
"Inuyasha," she thinks while watching him for a moment. "You have become more than what Inutaisho could have ever imagined."
Kagome walks out of Kaede's hut curious as to how the two hanyou's were getting along. Shippou sitting on her shoulder.
"Where do you think they went Kagome?" Shippo asks glaring in to the night.
Kagome is about to respond to Shippou's question, then she sees Nobara approach from the stream.
"Nobara," Kagome calls as she runs up to her. "Where is Inuyasha?"
Nobara looks at the young girl with a calm expression.
"He is still by the stream."
"Er, what did you two talk about for so long?" Shippou interjects.
"Shippou-chan!" Kagome scolds quietly. Nobara smiles at the child's curiosity.
"It is alright," she starts. "I had to tell Inuyasha something about Inutaisho." She pauses for a moment and looks down sadly. "Something he needed to know."
"Shippou-chan, go back to Kaede-obaa-chan," Kagome asks as the small kitsune-youkai jumps down. "I wish to talk to Nobara."
Shippou nods and scurries back to the hut. Kagome watches him and then looks back to Nobara.
"Nobara," Kagome starts, but seems apprehensive, the question though nagging her more than ever. "Where were you when Inuyasha was growing up? If you knew him when he was so young why were you not around?"
Nobara freezes with Kagome's question as if the young girl had knocked the air out of her. She stares into the ground for a moment. Nobara then smiles sadly and closes her eyes. When she opens them again Kagome sees the sadness and regret in her dark eyes.
"Izayoi found out that I was involved with her being trapped by Takemaru," Nobara explains without any emotion in her voice. "When I came across Inuyasha years later she did not want me around, so I left…..after I had made a promise to him that I would return with the next new moon. As far as Inuyasha knows I never returned until after Izayoi's death."
"Nani? 'As far as Inuyasha…'?" Kagome looks towards the woman confused.
Night settles in the courtyard of the manor. Several nobles were in the courtyard kicking a ball around. A small Inuyasha suddenly appears and chases after the ball wanting to join in the games. Across the small stream in the temple garden Izayoi watches her son sadly. A figure moves in the bushes behind her. There Nobara stands hidden, bow drawn and ready as she aims for Izayoi.
"This is the only way! Inuyasha!"
Thoughts of taking the hanyou filled Nobara's head; last night's final encounter with the small child haunted her heart, just as being with him hours after he was born had. She pulls back farther on the bow. Anger and hatred in her heart over Izayoi: Izayoi, the woman who always seemed to get in between Nobara and what she wanted. The woman who had Inutaisho's heart, now the woman who was keeping Inuyasha away from Nobara. Hate boiled in her and rose in her throat. She narrows her pale eyes and allows her jyaki to fill the arrow with shouki. She closes her eyes and takes one final aim. The taut string barely rubs down her fingers as she is about to release.
"Kaa-san!"
Nobara freezes and her eyes widen, the familiar voice carried to her over the air. Inuyasha suddenly runs towards his mother and embraces her. She looks down at him a small smile on her painted lips. The small boy then looks up at her with innocent eyes and asks her.
"What's a hanyou?"
Nobara lowers the bow and stands there astonished as Izayoi's eyes fill with tears. Tears for the future of her son. Nobara watches, she never expected Izayoi to cry for Inuyasha, she never sensed her feel sorry for him before until now. Izayoi bends over and holds him close as the tears fall down her face.
"Kaa-san?" Inuyasha whispers, never before had he seen his mother cry.
Nobara watches as tears fill her pale eyes.
"He needs you, Izayoi," Nobara realizes what she feared was true, as she quietly rises and leaves never to return.
"I wanted to raise Inuyasha, only for the simple reason that I loved Inutaisho," Nobara stops for a moment and lowers her head. Tears filling her eyes. "Inuyasha was always the child that I wanted to have with Inutaisho."
Kagome looks up at the woman shocked.
"Nobara…"
"Funny," Nobara continues regaining her composure and a familiar smirk creeping back onto her face. "That the one thing we want the most is what we are destined to never have."
With that Nobara continues to walk past Kagome towards Kaede's hut. She then turns and sees the young girl still standing there watching her. She then recalled Kagome protecting her from Kagura.
"Kagome?"
"Hm?" the young girl nods.
"Why do you continue to save my life…," Nobara turns and faces her. Her dark human eyes shone like glass and her expression was sad and puzzled. "You know of everything I have done…yet you still care…" Nobara looks down. "Why?"
Kagome looked at the sad being before her and the yearning to help became stronger. But she just smiled, the expression brightening her face and the reaction surprising the hanyou a little. Kagome then shrugged and winked.
"Why not?" she said earnestly. Nobara was taken aback. She had never met anyone who wanted to protect for no reason. Just because they cared. Nobara looked down and small sad smile began to crawl on her lips.
"Keh, Kagome," Nobara says, shaking her head slightly, brushing away the expression with her smirk. "Inuyasha is waiting for you…."
Kagome nods slowly, the smile faded as she sensed the hanyou's sadness. The young girl yearned to ease Nobara's pain but had no clue on how to do so. She half reluctantly turns away from the saddened hanyou and goes to find Inuyasha.
Inuyasha still sits by the water. His mind fixated on the distant past, trying to imagine his father. The thought pained him with the harsh reality of what will never be. He hears footsteps behind him and turns.
"Kagome?"
The girl stops for a moment at the sound of her name and stares at Inuyasha. A look on his face she had never seen before. A look that reminded her of when Kikyou was resurrected. His eyes were like deep pools of loss. She felt like running up and holding him, but shook the thought quickly from her mind.
"Inuyasha, are you ok?"
"Keh, why wouldn't I be?" the familiar defensive tone in his voice soothing her, as he turns back to the water.
Kagome walks up and sits beside him. Both sit silently. Inuyasha continues to rummage deep into his thoughts, the young miko's presence calming his troubled mind. Though he would never let on to that fact. Kagome watched him for a moment then turned her brown eyes to the water. Kagome was uncertain of what to say or how to help.
"Nobara told me that she talked to you about your Outo-san," she started, the silence making her uncomfoartable.
Inuyasha remains fixated on the water before him. His eyes glaring into the darkness as if his answers lay in the mud of the streambed like a treasure in the sea.
"She told me how he cared about me, something I never knew," Inuyasha suddenly states, causing Kagome to jump slightly at his sudden openness. "My whole life my Oyaji was never there. Never there for me or Ofukuro."
Kagome sat silently and pulls her legs towards her. She remembered about the promise that Nobara said to Inuyasha about being with him on nights like this.
"Nobara also mentioned her promise to you…." Kagome added, for some reason his usual silence was bothering her.
Inuyasha stared deeper into the water as Kagome watched him. She then turned away to face the water.
The promise she didn't keep. So many people who he trusted to be there for him, now was there anyone left?
He turns to the young girl beside him. He observes her dark hair wave slightly in the breeze and her dark eyes watching the water. The sadness in her eyes he knew was for him.
"Kagome, always there for me whether I wanted you to be or not. You have never left me."
Kagome turns towards him feeling his eyes watching her. .
"Nani?" she asks uncertain why he was suddenly staring at her. He turned his gaze back to the water, feeling his face get a little warm.
"Kagome, before I met you there was not one person I could trust... But you cried for me and you have always been there for me," Inuyasha looks down then looks back at the young girl's eyes. "Arigatou, Kagome."
Kagome gazes into the hanyou's dark human eyes. The urge to hold him and take all the pain away so great.
"Inuyasha," was all she could say.
Both turn away at the same time and watched the water. Both slightly blush. Kagome then gets an idea.
"Inuyasha?" she asks turning back to him and nudging a little closer to him. "Inuyasha, why not you and I make our own promise?"
"Nani? What are you talking about?" he asks wondering what she was going to come up with.
"Let us promise to always be together, no matter what happens," she says studying his face. She then smiles sweetly. "I will always be here for you, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha looks at Kagome, an expression of slight surprise. But his eyes told her what she needed to know. He regains his stoic facial composure and nods once.
"Kagome," he thinks. His heart warmed by the thought. "And I will do my best to be there for you…."
Kagome then scoots closer to Inuyasha and leans her head on his shoulder. The hanyou did not move away but leans slightly back into her. The two figures sat quietly in the starlight. Each comforted with their promise and both knowing it will last forever.
Nearby a figure watches silently in the dark shadows away from the hanyou's senses. She closes her midnight eyes and sees a similar scene in her memory before she discreetly backs out and returns to Kaede's hut. The memory causes a tear to fall down Nobara's cheek as she walks slowly back to the hut.
"Inutaisho," she remembers as she sees the tai-youkai's smiling face that distant night in a garden by a manor.
Somewhere in a small house, Kagura sits before the small Hakudoushi. Her kimono splattered with blood, the jade from Hisuibara still embedded in her. The pain was not life threatening but numbing. She sneered at the small child with white hair, Naraku's newest counterpart, the child that was once a part of Naraku's baby. Hakudoushi.
"What is wrong Kagura?" Hakudoushi teases while he floats in one of his barriers near the stunned youkai. Kagura was still panting for breath as she growls at the arrogant small child.
"You! You knew about Nobara's power didn't you?!?" she curses. Hakudoushi chuckles in his barrier.
"Naraku knew of course, but seeing that she is a hanyou he did not feel that you should have had a problem with her."
"Again I am used as a test subject!" Kagura sneers as her body slowly heals.
"Be thankful you did not have your heart, Kagura," Hakudouhsi continues. "Or else you would have died."
The intended irony in his comment nagged at Kagura. All she wanted was to be free. Free like the wind she was born from.
"Kagura, heal up," Hakudoushi then states becoming serious. "Naraku is not done with Nobara. His plan for her is just beginning….."
.....End Chapter