Chapter 4: The Angry Sakura and the Evil Penguins
Authors: Neko-chan70 and Hitsuji-chan21
Rated: PG for rude humor, language, and (funny) violence
Genre: humor/humor
Authors' Note: We do not claim YuYu Hakusho (Poltergeist or Ghost Report in Japanese), a famous Shonen Jump Graphic Novel by Yoshihiro Togashi. But we do have permission to use it for our stories thanks to Fanfiction.net. We only claim Neko Rei Renkyo, Hitsuji Sakura Yami, Musi, and all the other characters we made up. So don't sue us please!
Peace out yo--------------------------
(Kuwabara is all tied up in a tree while the girls are circling around him.)
Hitsuji: Kuwabara, for the last time, where is it?
Kuwabara: (all frightened) I'm telling you: I don't know where it is!
Kitsune: You better answer or you will have to meet my little friend, Mr. Baseball Bat. So start speaking, baka!
Kuwabara: I swear! I don't know anything!
Sakura: KUWABARA! WHERE IS THE PIE!
(A moment of silence for you readers. Screwy, ain't it?)
Kuwabara: I had nothing to do with that pie! And why did you bring it anyway?
Sakura: Silence, fool! (Acting all demented) We need that pie! Everybody loves pie!
Neko: (leaning on another tree) Except me…
Hitsuji: You're sad, women!
Kuwabara: Please have mercy on me!
(Sakura randomly hits Kuwabara 5 times with her bat while smiling for some reason.)
Neko: Sak, may I ask why you did that just now?
Sakura: (doesn't know the answer) …
(One day later…)
Sakura: (clueless)…
(Another day later…)
Sakura: (completely clueless)…
(Another ANOTHER later…)
Sakura: (unbelievably clueless)…
(NOTE: It has seem that the narrator quit her job for waiting for 4 days just for Sakura to answer a simple question and the other is too lazy to replace her job so the old narrator still had to keep her job. We apologize if this sentence was completely pathetic and a total waste of time.)
(Another day later… I hate my job…)
Sakura: I dunno!
Kuwabara: It took you four day to answer that question…?
Neko: (notices something) Hey! I think I see an animal or something!
Hitsuji: Is it dead?
Neko: Not sure.
Kitsune: (glares at Kuwabara) You are not to move a single inch until we find that pie!
Kuwabara: …why…Why…WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
(The girls ditch Kuwabara and follow the black, little figure that was running away. They find out that it's a penguin as soon as they reach it.)
Neko: (cheerfully) A penguin!
Kitsune: Question: What's it doing here? Shouldn't it be in Alaska?
Penguin: (takes out a humongous gun and speaks with a weird accent) ANNIHILATION!
Hitsuji: wtf!
Sakura: IT'S AN EVIL PENGUIN! IT'S COMING WITH RIENFORCEMENTS AND IT'S GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Evil… Evil…! EVIL! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!
(Runs away like a maniac.)
Kitsune: She'll be back! I hope…
Penguin: And now with business… to TAKE OVER THE WORLD… just like that crazy girl said.
Neko: Why do you want to take over the world?
Penguin: It was either that for $10,000 or get a part-time in an ice-cream shop $10 per week.
Hiei: ICE CREAM!
Hitsuji: Get out of here, Hiei! You're not in this chapter!
Hiei: (walks away) awww…
Penguin: So it's very simple! Take over the world plus tell the narrator that we did… and we're rich!
Hitsuji: NARRATOR! WHY DID YOU BETRAY US?
(Narrator: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
(More penguins come with humongous guns.)
Neko: You'll never get away with this!
Penguin: Oh, but I have! BEHOLD!
(Nothing happens.)
Neko: What? Where?
Penguin: Oh, sorry, my bad. Over there (point to the back).
Neko: (gasps and sees her laptop over a pot of water) WENDY!
Kitsune: You named your laptop?
Neko: WELL IT'S PRECIOUS TO ME!
Penguin: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE WORLD SHALL BE RULED BY PENGUINS ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Random Penguin: Oh, I wouldn't bet on that, Penguin. Remember the time where we tried to rule Peru?
-Flashback Sequence-
Penguin: Any last words before we take over this place?
Peruvian dude: Le espero dado (I hope you die)!
Penguin: I…I…I'm sorry! What was that?
Peruvian dude: Le…es…pe…ro…da…do…!
Penguin: You're gonna have to speak more clearly! I don't have a clue what you're saying!
-End Flashback Sequence-
Penguin: Don't worry! This time will be different! We won't have to learn Spanish this time!
Random Penguin: (to all the penguins) WE'RE GOING TO KILL THE AUTHORS!
Penguins: YAY!
Random Penguin: Pie Day's canceled!
Penguins: Awww…
(Sakura appears with Kuwabara in her hands as he was being used as a weapon.)
Sakura: Bad news, everyone, I can't find the pie!
Neko: WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT THE PIE?
Kuwabara: Are those penguins I see?
Hitsuji: No, they're lawyers of the President of United States… OF COURSE THEY'RE PENGUINS! WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE? SHORTIES IN A TUXEDO?
Penguin: IT'S KUWABAKA! HE GETS KILLED FIRST!
Hitsuji: Oh, yeah! High five!
(Total silence)
Hitsuji: Anyone? Anyone?
Kitsune: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! How do you know Kuwabara?
-Flashback Sequence-
Penguin: You got any 5's?
Kuwabara: Go fish…
Idiotic Penguin: FISH? WHERE? I'M STARVING!
Penguin: …
Kuwabara: You got any 7's?
Penguin: Yes…
Kuwabara: You got any 9's?
Penguin: Yes…!
Kuwabara: You got any 3's?
Penguin: STOP STEALING MY CARDS!
-End Flashback Sequence-
Kuwabara: How was I suppose to know I would win this game? (Kuwabara wins card games?) And nice haircut, Mr. Penguin!
Penguin: Thank you…I mean… PREPARE TO BE ANNIHILATED!
Sakura: YAAAY!
Penguin: Can it, Sakana!
Sakura: …sakana…?
Penguin: …wait a minute… Wasn't it Sakura?
Neko: Oh no! Now you've done it!
Sakura: …sa …sa …sa…SAKANA?!
Kitsune: TAKE COVER!
Sakura: (scream at the top of her lungs) ARE YOU CALLING ME A FISH? NOBODY CALLS ME A FISH! (gets Kuwabara all ready like he was a gun) Now you're gonna get it!
Penguin: Oh kuso!
(Sakura uses Kuwabara as a gun to shoot at the penguins. The bullets are really in the baka's body. Heh! Who knew?)
Hitsuji: GO SAKA…I mean… SAKURA! KICK THEM OUT OF HERE!
Kitsune: You know, we could just help her.
Neko: Maybe we could something more important like GETTING MY WENDY OUT OF THAT WITCHES BREW!
Sakura: (stops fighting the penguins) Hold on! Where you'd get the brew?
Penguin: Internet…
Sakura: Ahhh…(continues fighting)
(6 hours later)
Sakura: HA HAH! SUCCESS! I FINALLY DID IT!
(moment of silence)
Sakura: I FOUND THE PIE! (looks at the penguins) All right, where were we?
(The penguins and Sakura continue fighting.)
(Uhh… 7 hours later…)
Sakura: Do your stuff, Neko!
Neko: (types something in her laptop that she rescued and sends the penguins away to Alaska)
Penguin: I'll be back! (gets hits by a flying penguin) You… can't stop…me! (gets hit again) I… am… unstoppable…(gets hit again) (all drowsy) I… am… a… penguin…
(gets buried by a lot of penguins)
Penguin: Oh, what's the use?
%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$
(And so the evil penguins that tried to take over the YuYu Hakusho world were finally… well not defeated but… sent away back to their homes. Neko's laptop is finally safe.)
Neko: (all demented while rubbing the laptop) Yes, my precious Wendy… Did those mean, little penguins hurt you…? Don't worry, mommy's here…
Hitsuji: …?
(And uhh… the pie is found… And finally, we've all learned not to get cute and innocent Sakura angry by her calling her fish. Hey, I wonder where she and Kitsune are now?)
%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$
(Kitsune and Sakura are with Yoko Kurama and Shuichi that are all tied up)
Kitsune: (cheerfully) Isn't it nice to get what we want?
Yoko Kurama and Shuichi: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!
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Threatening Time
A/N: Review, or we send evil penguins to your house.
Claiming Information
Neko Rei Renkyo -Neko-chan70
Hitsuji Sato Yami -Hitsuji-chan21
Kitsune Yoko Emerald -JennyHennyPenny
Sakura Kim Ichigo -Kimkizna
The penguins -Neko-chan70 and Hitsuji-chan21
Japanese to English Translations
sakana- fish
Another Authors' Note
Neko-chan70: SEE! I KNEW IT! THE PENGUINS WILL ONE DAY SMITE US ALL! SMIITE US I SAY! (slaps herself) Sorry! Lost control! They won't REALLY take over the world. Or will they… BWAHAHAHAHAH! I apologize if my Spanish is wrong. I'm still practicing!
Hitsuji-chan21: Axes, time/traveling machines, cliffs, and evil penguins! What will we think of next? Read and review to find out! We refuse to update unless we get some reviews!
Peace out yo