Fame?
Interlude: Confessions of a Dead Man.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
an: I could not find the original chapter 9 in my unorganized computer documents. I have like a billion and five, and I swear to god I went through every single one... yet no chapter 9! Sorry this took so long, but I had to start over from scratch which aggravated me, distracted me, and, as you can imagine, made me want to throw things. I suck at life. Without any further ado, here is chapter 9!
-Warning: This chapter contains some strong language (only like one word), but if you think you might be offended please don't read any further.-
The night was perfect. Moonlight reflected off the pond and illuminated the floating roses with an almost magical light. Inuyasha sat awkwardly next to Kagome, feeling out of place amongst all the beauty. Even Kagome looked as if she belonged in this fairy tale photo shoot. He realized that she didn't just look as if she did, she actually did. This was her photo shoot, her life. Her home. There was nowhere she belonged more.
In high school he remembered her as always being somewhat shy and rather introverted, but now she was this thriving starlet and she was blossoming in the attention. He had seen a lot of her work, and never once was she the shy high-schooler he had known once long ago.
She really lived for this. It seemed that everyone had their little things that made them whole. He was glad she had found hers. His thing? He had found it long ago. It was her. There was no denying that she was the thing that kept him going. She, whether aware of it or not, was the reason he had lived past 19. Sure, it sounded pretty pathetic, he knew that... but at least he had something. It was much better that way, even though some days he wished that he had some normal passion like architecture or rock music. 'Each to his own.' He figured, but couldn't help to wonder what life might have been like for him if Kagome had never graced it.
He supposed he would probably have been like any one of those criminals, outlawed from the world and ordered to spend the rest of their sunrises behind iron bars for acting against the laws of society. 'Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt be another one of our mindless robots.'
Before he had met Kagome he supposed he was on the fast track to some stupid death or juvy, which ever came first. He was deeply involved with more than one gang, trafficking illegal items for the leaders and having ruthless wars without any thought besides that to kill. He never actually killed anyone, though he probably was quite close a few times. It wasn't that he didn't have the stomach to or anything like that. He just wasn't ranked high enough to be rewarded with the murders of rival gang members. Senseless murder and drugs had been his life for a quite a few years the day he met her.
She was walking down one of the back roads in the down they lived in, but before that day they had never seen each other. She went to richer private school right in the heart of the city while he (sometimes) attended a rundown public school near the outskirts. He could have gone to her private school. His parents had the money but he refused going. He said he didn't want to be locked in a room with a bunch of rich prissy uniformed people and opted instead for the much cheaper (and much shabbier) public school. His brother, Sesshoumaru, was a student of the private school so it was easy to assume they didn't get along, and it was very true.
When Inuyasha met Kagome he didn't know she was someone special. He didn't know that he would love her, or that she even existed. They passed each other on the sidewalk, Kagome in her cute sailor uniform looking slightly nervous (He still did notice pretty girls) and Inuyasha emotionless as usual, a skill he had unintentionally learned from his elder brother. For a fleeting second he forgot his baggy jeans, red shirt, disheveled hair and murderous expression and he actually wondered what was bothering her. It only took him an instant to figure out, duh, it was probably him. She probably was just like any other of the stuck up, innocent little girlies that hadn't fucked anything and wouldn't until they had married some rich bastard after having a perfect white wedding. Then she would grow up, have three children and live in a perfect house in the suburbs. Not that he really cared.
He gave an extra ferocious glare and brushed on past, figuring that would be the last glimpse of her he'd ever have.
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" He heard behind him only a few seconds after passing her. He ignored the voice he assumed to be hers, choosing to continue on down the road. He was surprised to feel a soft small hand on a part of his arm that wasn't covered by his tee shirt sleeves or the numerous spikes he wore. Inuyasha flipped around, fuming. How dare this little bitch touch him? Did she even know who he was or what he could arrange to have done to her?
"Excuse me... err... you dropped this back on the sidewalk." She tittered, in her bell-like voice. It was actually... quite... beautiful. No. What was wrong with his brain? He snapped back into reality when she held a pencil out to him, smiling that same... 'stunning'... smile.
"A pencil?" He managed to stutter, biting back his shock and surprise while trying to contain the weird feelings that were rushing around inside of him. She nodded, her smile never faltering, as if it were the most natural thing to approach a stranger on the street, especially a taller, meaner, and dirtier looking one than herself.
He reached out for it, and while taking it from her accidentally brushed her hand with his rough calloused one. A shiver went up his spine and he immediately pulled it back. He could tell she had felt it too, whatever it was, because she clutched her hand in a small fist and was examining it.
"I'm Kagome." She said, brushing her hands on her small skirt and smiling merrily once more. Didn't this girl ever quit?
"Inuyasha." He mumbled, and being unable to help himself invited her back to his house for dinner, something that surprised his parents because one: he never ate with the family if he could help it, and two: Kagome wasn't anything like the trashy girls he sometimes brought home with him and he never introduced them to the family, instead escorting them up to his bedroom.
That's where old Inuyasha's life all ended. Sure, he was still the arrogant, rude, outcast child of a rich family, but something had changed. A few weeks after Kagome had visited probably the biggest house she had ever seen in her life, Inuyasha had left the gang and suffered a severe near death beating. Kagome was at his bedside, with him all the way, and he survived. Life moved on, and he decided to enroll in the private school Kagome attended. He had to repeat 12th grade due to his bad marks at his former school, making him in one year higher than Kagome.
They became a couple quickly, but like anyone trying to change their ways, bits of his old self started to erode through the pleasant person he had built for himself. Pretty soon he was on drugs again, high on his attitude and some cheaply bought weed. Small stuff at first, but pretty soon he was back to the hard drugs that he had once formed a lifestyle from. Kagome became a bore, with her 'schoolwork' and 'principles'. She even was upped a grade and seemed to be around him even more than normal. He missed having his way with all those random sluts he used to know.
He started to fool around with Kikyou, a stunningly attractive girl in a way that seemed dangerous, and pretty soon it got serious. He was in it deep with her, always behind Kagome's back because some part of him couldn't bear to break away from her. Looking back at those times, he figured they both were like his two halves: Kikyou was feeding his unreasonable, quick and dangerous side while Kagome satisfied the intelligent, sensitive and happy side.
In the end, not unlike most battles, Kikyou's side won and he ended up standing Kagome up on what could have been one of her most important nights. She had found him snogging Kikyou in some alleyway and actually he almost felt ashamed after the way he so brusquely broke it off with her, telling her she was nothing to him. Another one of his easy lies. He also had his way with Kikyou a few times, if he remembered correctly, as if that would end the mental war his hormones were fighting. It wasn't like it helped, but back then it had been quite a good trade. Mental stability for sex? Sure.
He was young though, and stupid. Afraid? Maybe a little. Okay, maybe a lot. Afraid of actually finding someone who could make him happy, bear his three children and move into that house in the suburbs with him. Afraid of being like all those people he had looked down upon for most of his life.
In the end, it wasn't just one night of pleasure he had traded. He had given up a beautiful girl that had loved him. In more ways than one he had given up his life.
Kikyou made the announcement of her pregnancy two weeks later. Inuyasha, though still quite immature and unprepared for life, told her not to worry and that he would find a way for them to live. It was then she decided to tell him that it 'wasn't his little shit' as she so bluntly put it.
He graduated one week later as he had somehow managed to scrape a B plus average together, though he barely registered the ceremony because he was completely sick with regret and grief for Kagome.
It was three days later when he decided that he had screwed up for the last time. Slitting his wrists and swallowing as many pills he could find, he closed his eyes for what he had thought was going to be the final time only to wake up in a hospital bed, wrists bandaged and heart monitor beeping exactly seventy-six hours later. He should have been dead and buried, forever in some box six feet under.
Apparently his brother had come in to his room five minutes after he had lost consciousness to tell him that some girl named Kagome was calling long distance from somewhere in California and she had something important to tell him.
A.n: There. It's finished and updated. Now maybe I'll be able to sleep at night! Sorry that took so damn long. I have more to it, but this felt like a good place to end it. I actually like this chapter a bit though. It gives a nice insight to Inuyasha's past, and doesn't make him seem like such a monster. Sorry again for some of the strong language in this chapter. Review please! I'm working on the next chapter right now and encouragement always makes the job move faster:D