YuuYuu Hakusho: The Authors of Evil
Chapter 12: The Demented Episode
Disclaimer: YuuYuu Hakusho (Poltergeist Report or Ghost Files in Japanese), a famous Shonen Jump Graphic Novel, is claimed by Yoshihiro Togashi. These characters are at the possession of mine: Neko Rei Renkyo, Hitsuji Sato Yami, and other demons or humans. Please enjoy the story.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Neko. Hey, guys! I want you to meet my inu, Baby!
Hitsuji. Question: How can you have an inu if you're a cat?
Neko. Good point O.O.
(The dog gets mad and suddenly chases her)
Dog. RUFF! RUFF!
Neko. (Runs away) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Hiei. (Notices something on NEKO) Hn, what happen to you?
Neko. (Stops running) Gotta haircut T.T.
(Horror music while thunder crashes besides NEKO)
Everyone. O.O
Neko. So now it looks puffy.
Some dude. (Singing) Puffy hair-puffy hair ha-ha-hah puffy hair!
Neko. MUTSUYO, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO APPEAR IN THIS SCENE!
(MUTSUYO HANTO IATUNE has brown hair swaying to the front. He's wearing a suit that makes him look like a gentleman.)
Mutsuyo. HOT CHICKS!
Kitsune. Neko, why'd you bring him here?
Neko. I DIDN'T KNOW HE KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT HE KNEW THAT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Hitsuji. Rule One: Never let/make Neko think.
Mutsuyo. You're new short hair looks messy!
Neko. I just gotta haircut.
(Horror music while thunder crashes besides NEKO.)
Neko. Damn the narrator's work.
Sakura. Who's that guy?
Mutsuyo. Hey, bijin!
Sakura. NAZE? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE ATTRACTIVE ONE!
Kitsune. (To NEKO) May I have the honor of killing Mutsuyo?
Neko. Un, go ahead.
Kitsune. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (Grins evilly and cackles, taking out her flute and starts whacking MUTSUYO over the head).
Mutsuyo. OW! (BONK!) OW! (BONK!) OW! (BONK!) STOP IT! (BONK!) I GIVE UP! (BONK!)
Kitsune. (Cackling evilly) Hey, this is fun! Even more fun than torturing the guys!
Youko Kurama. (Sees the flute and the light reflecting off it) Shiny… MINE! GIMME!
Kitsune. NO! MY FLUTE! MY SHINY! It's mine… my own… My prrrecioussss….
Mutsuyo. Freak…
Kitsune. (Glaring) You're making me angry… You don't want to make me angry.
(Charge music) Da-da-da-da-da-da!
Unknown, Cute Kitty. (A completely black cat with amber eyes jumps on MUTSUYO's head and attaches himself there) MEOOOOOOOW!
Mutsuyo. GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Kitsune. WOOFIE! You silly kitty! Come on, get off a Mutsuyo's head. That's a good kitty.
(WOOFIE jumps off MUTSUYO's head and runs over to KITSUNE, jumping on her shoulder)
Mutsuyo. Owwww…. Am I dead yet?
Kitsune. No, not yet. I'll deal with you later…
Neko. Mutsuyo, you're gonna not have to flirt with us. We already have our hot guys.
Mutsuyo. (Looks at Kuwabara) Your hot guy is that freak?
Kuwabara. HEY!
Kitsune. THAT'S NO WAY TO TALK TO KUWA…
-5 hours later-
Kitsune. CHAN!
Yuusuke. Why the hell did it take you 5 hours?
Kitsune. Forgot what "little" meant.
Shuichi. Kuwa-chan?
Kitsune. Yay, Kuwa-chan (Hugs KUWABARA).
Youko Kurama. (Feeling jealous and hits KUWABARA) Let's get things straight, "Kuwa-chan", I'M HER HOT GUY! YOU GOT THAT!
(He takes KITSUNE, who's completely clueless about this, away).
Kitsune. Awww… You do care about me (Hugs YOUKO KURAMA).
Kaya. If Youko cares about Kitsune, then that means… (Looks at HIEI) MINE!
Hiei. Ahh!
Neko. (Looks at KAYA) Hmmmmm… Hmmmmmmmmmm… HMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm… (Cheerfully) Ah well!
Kuwabara. You're not jealous?
Neko. (Confused) What's "jealous"?
Kuwabara. Never mind…
Karasuma. MINE, JIN!
Hitsuji. BACK OFF, WITCH! HE'S MINE!
Jin. I just love t' be handsome!
Sakura. Hey, gals.
Girls. (Gather around SAKURA) Yeah?
Sakura. I got the perfect place to take the boys to (Points one ride).
(The girls spotted at what she pointed to and gave a sinister laugh)
DUN, DUN, DUUUN!
Sakura. Curse you, narrator. Anyway, we should get going right…
BONK!
(The girls look around)
Kaya. What the hell was that?
(They see a young girl with fox ears on top of MUTSUYO)
Girls. HA, HA!
Mutsuyo. Oh, shut up.
(The boys get a closer look at the properly dressed, fox girl)
Yuusuke. Who are you?
Fox girl. (Fast mode) I'm IceCrystalVulpix and I'm gonna kick your butt T.T!
(ICECRYSTALVULPIX starts kicking the boys' butts and MUTSUYO's too for some odd reason. Perhaps it was because I put him in I.C.V's reach. Muahahaha… Anyway…)
Girls. (Sweatdrop)
Kitsune. Another fox?
Karasuma. She kicks butts?
Hitsuji. Jin?
Neko. Her name is IceCrystalVulpix?
Kaya. I.C.V?
Sakura. STRAWBERRY!
Neko. T.T.
Kaya. You never pay attention, do you?
Sakura. What?
Hiei. What?
Shuichi. What?
Yuusuke. What?
Kuwabara. What?
Youko Kurama. What?
Jin. What?
Kitsune. What?
I.C.V. YOU'RE CONFUSING ME… what?
Kitsune. (Major sweatdrop)
Karasuma. CAN WE JUST GET TO THE RIDE ALREADY!
Kitsune. DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY!
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Kitsune. Not now, Woofie U.U.
Woofie. (Inner thoughts. Awwww…)
I.C.V. Can I join you?
Sakura. (Fast mode) Even though we don't know anything about you, OKAY!
I.C.V. (Cheerfully spins around with her arms spread out) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Look, mommy! I'm a plastic air bag! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Kaya. Guess we'll take that as a yes.
Hitsuji. OMG, I.C.V'S MORE EVIL AND CRAZY THAN NEKO!
DUN, DUN, DUUUN!
Hitsuji. I'm not even gonna say anything T.T.
I.C.V. (Looks at NEKO) What happen to you?
Neko. Gotta haircut.
(Horror music while thunder crashes besides NEKO)
I.C.V. What?
8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
(Our stupid heroes arrive at the most evilest ride of all- Small World)
DUN, DUN, DUUUN!
Boys (Except MUTSUYO, who is having fun watching). NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE DON'T WANNA GO TO SMALL WORLD!
Jin. I DIDN'T COME HERE T' GET ME LIFE RUINED!
Karasuma. Well it is our job to ruin your lives, so GET IN! OR FACE I.C.V!
Kitsune. And my anger!
Boys. MEEP! WE'RE GETTING IN!
-A few minutes later-
Dolls. It's a small world after. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world!
Boys (Even MUTSUYO and I.C.V). KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! TOO HAPPY! MUST NOT LISTEN!
Neko. Did we go to far?
Hitsuji. Isn't that the point?
Neko. Watashi wa shirimasen.
Kitsune. (Looks at I.C.V) I guess even the evilest ones have a tough time going through happiness.
I.C.V. Evil… evil… Evil! EVIL! EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Karasuma. Too many "ahhs"…
Kaya. Give the ahhs a break, damn it! You've used it too many times.
(Narrator: All right, fine!)
Sakura. Hey, that evil routine is mine line!
Neko. Actually, I told you that line after I heard it from her.
Sakura. Then haven't you met her before?
Neko. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
-20 minutes later-
Neko. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Sakura. Never mind…?
8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
(After going to Small World fifty more times (ouch!), the boys were finally out.)
Shuichi. What torture…
Hiei. I've always hated that ride…
I.C.V. (Dead) X.X
(Narrator. She'll be okay.)
Girls. Next stop: ALL THE OTHER BABY RIDES!
I.C.V. HUH?
Boys. Oh god!
DUN, DUN, DUUUN!
(Horror music while thunder crashes)
Everyone. STUPID MUSICIANS AND THE NARRATOR WHO CAUSED ALL THIS!
Musicians and Narrator. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Japanese to English Translations
Inu- dog
Bijin- beautiful woman
Naze- why
Un- yeah
Chan- little; cute (example: Neko-chan)
Watashi wa shirimasen- I do not know
Neko-chan70: We have got to get ever over using to many ahh's and muahahas! BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE WON'T! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hitsuji-chan21: This has been a stupid chapter. I refuse to say anything more about this crappy section.
Narrator: READ AND REVIEW, OR YOU'LL BE HEARING THESE SOUND EFFECTS FOR ALL ETERNITY!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Peace out yo