Hey all! I got back from my holiday literally half an hour ago, so I'm still zoned off the plane. Which means that this chapter might have a couple of little mistakes in it, but nothing major. I'm mooching off to give all my holiday presents to people soon so I haven't time to reply to all your reviews...very sorry. They'd probably be a load of twonk anyway (I rediscovered that wonderful word in Jersey, and now I can't stop saying it...). Here's the chapter, ducks!
Kai held his breath as he knocked on the door of apartment twelve in the Cheer Chase apartment block and waited for someone to answer it. There was a creak of floorboards, and a voice...
"Brad, aren't you going to...a-answer the door?" It was Rei... And then...the sound of a slap.
"I'll do what I want!" A silence, and then. "Baby, your face is all red...are you okay?" Kai gasped with surprise. Just like Rei had said, this Brad guy was mad... He knocked again, and footsteps clattered towards him. The door swung inwards and Kai was confronted by an angry glare. "What d'you want?"
"I...I heard that if I came here...you would teach me about sex..." Kai faked a weak, wavering voice and looked up with pleading eyes. "I...I want to learn how to have sex with a man..." The man, who Kai assumed was Brad, smiled, licking his lips.
"You want to learn about sex with a man?"
Kai nodded, keeping up his shy act, and started to unbutton his shirt. "I'll take everything off...but I want...I...w-will you please..." Kai dropped his head, seeing the two army officers standing in the shadows at either side of the door. He looked back up at Brad and saw that the man was practically drooling. "Will you please...DIE!" Kai yelled. Die...the signal word. The two officers jumped forward, shooting darts into Brad's arm and leg. The man screeched and went to grab Kai, then slumped to the floor. Tranquiliser darts. Best thing for bringing down a psycho...
While the officers took care of Brad, Kai ran into the apartment. "Rei?" He looked around frantically, but Rei didn't seem to be around. "Rei? Rei, are you okay? It's me! It's Kai!"
"K-Kai?" A strangled whisper, coming from behind the sofa. A pair of tanned hands grasped the arm of the sofa and Rei dragged himself up, wearing nothing but a pair of trousers, eyes red and puffy from crying, nose bleeding, but alive. Kai ran over to him and flung his arms around him.
"Oh God, Rei...you're alive...you're alive!" Kai lifted Rei into his arms, one arm across his buttocks, and Rei cried out, wriggling away and starting to cry again. Kai felt his heart sink. "Rei...tell me he didn't..."
"Didn't what?" Replied the neko-jin, voice hoarse.
"Rei...turn around." Rei did so, holding Kai's arm to stay upright, and Kai gasped. It couldn't be true...but there it was, the smeared bloody stain over Rei's backside. He heard Rei start to cry harder, wailing miserably. As Kai stood there, mind reeling, Rei wobbled and started to fall, legs unable to keep him upright any longer. Kai grabbed him around the waist and Rei cried out again. Kai lowered him to the floor gently and tugged down his trousers a little way, leaving the tell-tale bruises on Rei's hips on view.
"I'm so dirty, Kai...my skin keeps crawling because I can still feel it Kai...it feels like he's still t-touching me!" Rei grabbed Kai's front and dragged him closer, panic lending him strength. "Are you real? Or is this another dream? Will I wake up and be okay? Because this can't be real...this can't...this can't..." Rei's voice cracked and he continued, mouthing silently as Kai picked him up again, avoiding his bruises and tender backside.
He carried Rei back out and found Mr. Dickenson standing there looking apprehensive. When he saw Kai's despairing expression and Rei's seemingly unmoving body, he feared the worst. "Oh no..." But then Rei gave a choked sob and clutched at Kai a little harder. "He's okay?" Kai shook his head.
"He...he..." He looked up at Mr. Dickenson with tears in his eyes, mouthing 'raped him'. Mr. Dickenson bit his lip and stood there watching as the doctor they'd brought with them coaxed Rei out of Kai's arms and onto the floor, where Rei promptly refused to lie on his back, screeching when the doctor tried to force him to. "Rei...Rei, look-"
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Yelled Rei, voice dragged out in a hoarse shout. When the doctor showed no signs of getting away Rei reared up and bit him savagely on the arm, sinking his teeth in and growling.
"Rei! Rei, stop it!" Shouted Kai, trying to take hold of Rei. However, the neko-jin was too panicked to recognize any of them, reverting back to the most basic of instincts- fight or flight. Unfortunately, it seemed that Rei had chosen fight, and it took the two army officers ten minutes to get him to stop, and only then because they pinned him to the floor. Rei shook beneath their hands, sobbing desperately. "No...no...get off me...I hate you...get off me...stop it...no..."
The doctor sighed, turning to Mr. Dickenson and Kai. "He's in hysterics, and he's suffering from shock. We'll need to take him to hospital and sedate him before we can examine him."
Kai pushed open the door gently and walked over to the bed. Rei was lying with his back to him, hair and skin standing out against the pale blankets. He was plaiting a few strands of his hair, then unplaiting them, repeating the same action over and over again. Kai sighed. Basic psychology. Focusing on something small and insignificant so you can block the issue out that you don't want to acknowledge. With Tala it had been obsessive training...but then Tala hadn't had the luxury of a comfy hospital bed to recover in.
"Rei?"
"...Go away." One brief comment and then Rei's fingers were working again, twisting his hair.
"You can't ignore it forever, Rei. Sooner or later you'll have to stop plaiting your hair and face what happened." Rei rolled onto his back, winced, and rolled a bit further, facing Kai. His eyes were still red from crying, and he looked absolutely...destroyed. "Get. Out."
"How are you?"
Rei laughed hollowly. "How am I? How am I?" His laughter turned to a sob and he closed his eyes, a tear trickling down his cheek. "This can't be real, Kai...it's not real...this must be a dream or something...things like that only happen in movies, not real life..."
"It does happen in real life, Rei. It does happen, and it has happened."
"What would you know about it?" Sobbed Rei, pulling the pillow over his head and shutting Kai out. Kai pulled the pillow away.
"Boris raped Tala, a long time ago. We were much younger then. About eleven."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Hissed Rei. "Younger people than me have been raped, so it's okay, and it doesn't matter any more?"
"No, I-"
"GET OUT!" Rei's voice rose to that grating screech again, halfway between hoarseness and a scream. "Get away from me! I HATE YOU!" He gave an angered growl and grabbed the closet thing to hand, which happened to be a teddy someone had sent him, and flung it at Kai with all his might. Kai picked it up and put it back on the bed, watching as Rei's anger gave way to more tears.
"I hate him! I hope he dies screaming!"
"I know, Rei, I know."
"NO YOU DON'T!" Rei let himself fall limp, face buried in the pillow. "I was so scared...and it hurt...s-so much...I want to kill him, Kai, is it right to want to do that?"
"Yes."
"I prayed. I never pray. But I prayed to every single god I could think of and he still...he still..." Rei bared his teeth, slamming a fist into the mattress. "I hate him! How could he do that to me? How could he-? I said no, I kept saying no but he didn't stop...he thought I was in love with him but I HATE HIM!"
"We all hate him, Rei, for what he did to you."
"This time yesterday he was...he was raping me, Kai! But that can't be true..." Rei buried his hands in his hair, close to his scalp. Kai laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and he shuddered.
"Rei, it happened. It's true. But he's getting locked up and I'll bribe the whole government if that's what it takes to keep him locked up for the rest of his pathetic life!" He squeezed gently and Rei jumped.
"D-Don't...don't touch me...please...I don't..." He sobbed loudly, and Kai could tell that he was really, truly and utterly in despair. "I don't want to be touched right now..."
"Max and Tyson are coming over later. And Kenny and Mr. D."
"Why?"
"To see you." Rei sobbed and pulled the pillow over his head again.
"Make them leave me alone..."
"Rei...they're worried. We were all worried, when you went missing...when we couldn't find you."
Rei completely ignored what Kai was saying. "Why? Why did he do it? Why me? Why did he want to do that? Why did I go to the toilet alone? Why did I turn on the taps?" He sat up, half kneeling, propping himself up with his hands. "WHY?"
Kai bit his lip. "Rei, there isn't a reason. Things like this just happen."
"WHY? AND WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE ME? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE?" Hollered Rei, throwing his head back and directing his question at the ceiling, as if some invisible god could answer him. He collapsed to the bed face first, shrugging away Kai's comforting hand and kicking his legs like a baby having a tantrum. "I'll come back later, Rei." He said softly before leaving.
"So how is he?" Asked Tyson as Kai walked through the front door. Kai took off his coat and walked up the stairs, ignoring the Japanese boy completely. Tyson followed him, repeating his question. Kai stopped dead halfway up the staircase and swung round. "He's lying in a hospital bed, hysterical, crying, screaming, and asking himself why! Why did it have to be him? Well I don't know, do you?" He snarled, aggressive.
"But...he's alive, right? So he'll get better?"
"Tyson when are you going to grow up? He was raped. Do you know what that is? Do you have any idea what it means? It's someone holding you down and forcing you to have sex with them, and it doesn't just go away! You don't forget about it! He'll wake up for the rest of his life screaming!"
"B-But...how can you know that-?"
"Stop questioning me! I know about rape victims, I was on a team with one and you don't just walk away from something like that so easily!"
And with that Kai turned, storming into his room and collapsing onto Rei's bed, remembering how it had been before...
Flashback
"Kai? I brought you some coffee..."
"Mm." Kai looked up from his book, blinking. "What was that?"
"Coffee. Black. No sugar."
"...Thank you." Rei put the coffee down on the bedside table and leaned over Kai's shoulder, looking at his book. "It's Russian."
"I can see that. What is it?"
"War and Peace. It was my mother's copy."
"Really?" Kai nodded shortly, and Rei leaned over, touching the page with delicate fingers. "Her soul must be inside it, then."
"Perhaps."
"You don't think so?"
"I don't know. I never think about spiritual things." Rei's hand moved to Kai's shoulder, and Kai felt his pulse quicken as the slim digits tightened briefly and let go.
"Maybe you should." Rei smiled. "And maybe you could teach me Russian sometime?"
End flashback
"Kai?"
"WHAT, Tyson? What do you want?"
"Is it all...that bad? You never cry, Kai...so...is it...really really bad?"
"No...I...I don't know! But...he'll be different, Tyson, and I don't want to be...I think I loved him but what if...what if-?" Tyson looked at him strangely.
"You mean like...love him love him?" Kai nodded, sniffing. "So you're...gay?"
"I don't know! Just leave me alone, I can't think right now!" Tyson obliged, and Kai laid there thinking about the feelings he'd found hiding in his mind.
"Rei?"
"Leave me alone..."
Tyson and Max exchanged a worried glance and moved closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Rei was lying on his front, hair pooled around his head, face buried in the pillow. Even with his voice all muffled, they could hear the tears in it. "Rei, we...we just wanted to see how you were, you know?" Ventured Tyson.
"Yeah! We really missed you, Rei!" Max tried to be cheerful, but Rei just shifted listlessly.
"Why? It's not like there's anything to miss..."
"Rei, don't say things like that-"
"We missed you loads!" Cried Tyson and Max at the same time. Rei sniffed and turned his head slightly.
"I'm just a common little slut. Why would you waste your time missing me? I'm not worth missing..." Tyson and Max shared another look, and Tyson reached out to pat Rei's back. Unfortunately for him, he missed. As Tyson's hand pressed down on Rei's backside the neko-jin screamed, shooting up and crawling away. Tyson gasped in horror. "Rei, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-"
"Leave me alone!" Rei wailed. "Just leave me alone!"
He gave a choked sob and stood up, running out if the room with his hair flying out behind him. As he turned the corner he ran straight into someone coming the opposite direction. someone who fell to the floor and became Rei's landing pad. "Rei?" Rei looked down into Kai's puzzled crimson eyes and shook his head, bursting into fresh sobs and dropping his head to lay on Kai's chest, soaking his shirt with tears.
"I...I can't..." He whispered. Kai sat up with Rei leaning against him and wrapped tentative arms around the neko-jin's waist.
"It's okay, Rei."
"It's not okay! It'll never be okay!" Rei wailed, flinging his arms around Kai's neck and squeezing tightly. "It'll never be okay..."
"Rei...can you not hold on to me so tightly...I can't breathe..." Rei lessened his grip marginally, still clinging to Kai desperately. Kai shifted, trying to get comfortable, and Rei jumped, with a soft cry. "It hurts, Kai...it still hurts..."
"I'm sorry-"
"It feels like it'll never stop hurting...he was inside me, Kai! He was inside my body and I feel dirty and disgusting and I don't think I'll ever be clean again!" Rei choked out. Kai nodded and shifted away, standing up and pulling Rei to his feet.
"We should talk about something like this in private, not in the middle of a corridor."
"Why? It isn't like everyone doesn't know! You look at the medical sheets...Rei Kon, rape victim, fifteen! Everyone who comes in whispers it because they don't want to say it out loud! I'm always going to be Rei, the one who got raped by a psycho! Raped! I hate it! I hate it and I hate me! I don't want to be known for being imprisoned and tortured, I don't -want- it!" Yelled Rei, accompanying his last remark with a hand slamming against the wall.
Kai looked at him sadly. He was standing there in a hospital gown, red in the face and panting, eyes still leaking tears. "Look at me, Kai. I'm not Rei any more. The real Rei wouldn't let this get to him. The real Rei would be laughing and baking something, would be happy, would keep being cheerful but I...I can't...I can't be me any more! He's stolen me along with my virginity and I hate myself now!"
"You'll always be you."
"But I'm not..." Rei whispered. "I'm not me any more...Lee and Mariah came to see me yesterday. And I heard them talking as they were leaving. 'He's different.' 'He's been raped, what do you expect?'. Well if I'm so different then what am I now? Because...because I'm not Rei any more..." He cried, collapsing against Kai's chest and sobbing. "I'm not me...so what am I?"
"You're Rei! You're Rei and you won't ever stop being that! Don't be so ridiculous! Something bad happened to you, you can't help that, and of course it's going to make you different! But you're still Rei and we're just happy to have you back! We don't expect you to be cheerful after what happened! We just want you to be okay!" Kai said sharply, holding Rei tightly against his chest. "I'm not going to say that you'll forget it and be able to act like it never happened...but please...don't torture yourself like this..." Rei sniffed and clung to Kai, snivelling. "I would give anything to go back, Rei...I would give anything to go back and have everything as it was before because while you were missing...I realised that I..." Kai sighed. "This isn't the right time to tell you, but I will when you're better. Come on, you need to go back to bed..."
Next Chapter: Rei goes home, and there is coffee! Last chapter as well.
Thanks for being patient waiting for this chapter!
R&R please!