"I won't go!" screamed Faramir Took, standing in his nightwear, his green eyes glinting fiercely "you can't make me!"
"Faramir Took!" Diamond yelled at her son, her brown hands on her hips, "You are going to this function, even if I have to drag you in chains!"
Pippin, who was in the adjacent room, adjusting his turquoise overcoat, laughed quietly at the mere thought of Diamond actually doing the deed. He wouldn't allow it of course, the more creative threat of scrubbing the stables would be sufficient enough. Faramir had inherited his father's hatred of household chores.
"Enough, dear!" Pippin cried, "I was just thinking about how filthy the stables have got in the past month. Piles of dung! Imagine scrubbing all of it!' he said, entering the room. He turned to the young hobbit, "you know, Faramir, if you're not coming, I'll get you to scrub those stalls for me and I'll inspect it when we get back. Not a scrap of brown hay on the ground. If you can't get through that, I guess you have to polish the tack, groom the horses, and weed the garden. I can bring you back some cake if you want."
Faramir looked into his father's smiling face and his mother's mildly amused, slightly surprised figure with a stare of absolute horror.
"Or you can come." Diamond said, gesturing to the fine clothes laid out in front of him. Weeping with such emotion that any other would have thought otherwise, he grabbed his clothes and slammed his bedroom door, causing the hobbit hole to shake.
"My my, what have we raised?" Diamond mused to herself. Pippin chuckled, placing a pipe into his mouth.
"A Took, a wild one at that, but he is only young."
"He reminds me of you." She smiled cheekily.
"Oh dear, then we do have a bit of a problem." He laughed, "We can't have two Fools running around the Shire." He paused, "you know, I think you're right, just the mention to me of such a chore would send me into a fit of terror. I can't believe I actually thought of such a deed."
"You once said to me that you were allergic to hard work." She smiled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"I am," he gasped in mock horror, "I would come out with this red rash all over my face, I would start sweating and my muscles would ache for days afterwards. And I would be so thirsty too. Thirsty for water! I guess I must be sick. Perhaps I need to see a physician."
Diamond laughed out loud, taking the pipe out of his mouth, "That, I think, is a normal reaction to exercise." She whispered in his pointed ear.
"I guess you're right. Never thought about it before. You should have become a physician, dear Diamond." He laughed softly.
"The only people I would treat is you and Faramir."
"A private physician," he mused, "There could be a business in that…"