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I told you I'd update soon! Aren't I good? Well, I won't keep you in suspense: here's the next chapter.

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Will tried to convince Elizabeth to stay on the Pearl, but it was no use. He couldn't even convince her to stay on the Interceptor until he returned for her. She insisted on returning and helping the crew haul their loot back to the ships. Finally, frustrated and afraid of angering Gibbs any further, he allowed her to come back with them, carrying ropes and bins aplenty… and a birdcage, for Jack's strange request could not be ignored, no matter how many curious glances they cast at it.

They arrived in the caves to find Jack's crew already dumping the loot into what chests and bins they could find, but Jack was nowhere in sight, and neither was Barbossa. Gibbs asked AnaMaria what was going on, but she just shook her head and muttered something about "Damn fool pirate's got too much of an ego for his own good." Will shrugged it off, knowing that he would find out soon enough, and started hauling the ropes to the pirates in the middle. The ones who had returned to consciousness had been readmitted to the world of sleep by an obliging sword handle, courtesy of Marty, who took a perverse glee in knocking them out again. Together, he and Will tied them up quickly, and then set about hauling all the loot back to the boats.

Jack swaggered in a few minutes later and grabbed some of the extra rope, then hurried back out. His crew cast confused glances at each other, but they were at least somewhat accustomed to Jack's oddities by now and said nothing about it. When he returned again and asked Will for the birdcage, though, their curiosity peaked.

"Jack… what are you doing back there?" Gibbs asked as Will pulled the birdcage out of the boat.

Jack smirked. "Just wait. You'll see soon enough." He took the birdcage from Will and disappeared back into the caverns. Will looked at Gibbs, who shrugged and returned to work.

The crew had nearly hauled all of the loot to the ships by the time Jack came back, carrying the birdcage under one arm, but he had covered it with his cloak. He silently placed the cage in one of the loot-laden boats and began to row it to the Pearl. The crew took the last few longboats, filled with loot, back to the ships and climbed aboard the Pearl to await their orders.

Jack hid the birdcage in his cabin as he helped to haul the loot aboard. He and AnaMaria would split the plunder evenly between them, as they would split the crew. She would take the Interceptor, and he would take the Pearl, and they would go their separate ways. For now, though, everything was being hauled aboard the Pearl until they could get far away from the Isle du Muerta and Barbossa's crew. Eventually, they would have to wake up, and Marty couldn't continue knocking them out forever, no matter how much he loved to do it.

When everything was on board the Pearl and they had left the Isle du Muerta in favor of a small island several leagues away, Jack called the crew together and gathered them around his cabin.

"By now," he said, unable to keep the grin off his face, "Barbossa's crew are waking up. This, I would assume, includes Barbossa himself." As if on cue, an ear-splitting howl sounded from inside Jack's cabin. The pirate captain's grin grew so large it was a wonder it didn't split his face. He ducked into the cabin and, amidst a string of curses directed at everything from him to a llama's mother, reemerged holding the birdcage. Inside sat Barbossa's head, severed from the rest of his body and cursing up a storm.

The crew stared at it for a moment, unable to quite believe the specter in front of them. Then, slowly, Gibbs began to laugh. Within minutes the entire crew was laughing fit to burst, and Jack's grin had never been wider.

"That," Gibbs choked out between gasps of laughter, "has got to be the most creative revenge I have ever seen. But what in the world did you do with his body?"

Jack gestured back to the island. "It's buried in about fifty places in there, I think. He's welcome to try to reassemble himself, if he likes, but I fear we'll be long gone from here by the time he digs all of his pieces out of the sand."

At this, Barbossa let loose a string of howls and curses that made Elizabeth's eyes about the width of saucers and her cheeks redder than Jack's bandanna. Jack peered into the cage and shook his head.

"Now, now, mate," he chided, chuckling, "that's no way to speak in front of a lady. What will Miss Elizabeth think of you now?"

Barbossa snarled at him, and Jack threw back his head and laughed. "Not much, I'd wager. Gents, what do you say we head back to Tortuga for a little celebration?"

The crew cheered, and Jack grinned as he replaced the cover over Barbossa's cage and stored it back in his cabin. It wouldn't stay there, of course—Jack would never get a wink of sleep if Barbossa was in the same room, cursing him from dawn till dusk—but it would do for the present.

He locked the cabin door behind him and turned, ready to bellow an order to his crew, but Will and Elizabeth were waiting at his door and waylaid him before he could get the chance.

"Jack, have you forgotten?" Will asked. "You have to take us back to Port Royal first. Norrington will have my head as it is, if I don't return with the Interceptor."

Jack frowned and scratched his head. "You know what they'll do to me if I go back there, William. They'd hang me in a heartbeat. 'Sides, you gave the Interceptor to AnaMaria, remember? Can't I just drop you someplace close and let you find your own way back?"

"Jack," Elizabeth said, "please. There might even be a reward, if you brought me back safely. Who knows what Norrington would do to have me back? He wants to marry me, you know."

Jack looked at her, surprised. "So that's the way the winds blow, is it? Well… perhaps I can work somethin' out with AnaMaria so it looks like you returned with the ship and your dear Miss Swann in one piece. Though, if you're smart, lad, you won't take her back to Port Royal at all and let that Norrington have her. Marry her someplace else, and don't bother going back. What good would it do you, anyway, to go to all this trouble to rescue her, and then you don't get to keep her?"

Elizabeth looked at Will, shocked, as he blushed and frowned. "She wants to go back, Jack. I'll give her what she wants." He looked at her intently, giving her a tentative smile, and she smiled back.

"Thank you, Will," she whispered. Jack smirked. He knew a disappointed lady when he saw one, having forced many lasses into that unfortunate position himself, and he knew that the last thing Elizabeth wanted was to be forced into a marriage with Norrington. Especially now that she was reasonably sure that, if she wished it, Will would gladly take the Commodore's place at her side. Perhaps he would have another talk with the boy later.

"But first," he told himself sternly, "Tortuga!"

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I do have a sick imagination, and I know it. But I was laughing so hard when I wrote this that I could barely type. And you must admit, it's a much better revenge than simply killing the guy. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it… no worries, more has been requested, and I certainly won't disappoint you. Young William is in for some difficulties… and possibly another jailbreak… but I don't quite know what I'm going to do with that.

From here on out, kiddies, I'm flyin by the seat of my pants. Come along for the ride. I don't know where we're going, but I can promise that it'll be fun!