A Ballad of War: Prelude

Disclaimer: As I'm sure everyone already knows, I do not own GW or any of the characters associated with it, at least not until I, through purely illegal means, gain the money to buy out Sotsu, Sunrise, Bandai, and any other association that currently has claim on it. The poem 'A Ballad of Hell' is not mine either, but John Davidson's, although he's hardly alive enough to claim it now. The original characters contained throughout this story are, however, completely mine otherwise they wouldn't be original, and therefore I can continue to have my wicked way with them without concern for copyright laws.

AC 198:

I don't know how to tell you this—

She should have known this would happen.

—I'm not even certain I can tell you.

She should have known it wouldn't have lasted.

What is it, Zechs?

The Sanq Kingdom had lasted, the colonies had lasted, and maybe even peace would last, but this could not.

I'll spare you the details of it.

Yes, he would spare her the details, just as he spared her of everything these days.

Zechs, just tell me.

The others' lives weren't having fairy tale endings—why should she have expected hers to?

I can't stay here.

What?

I must return to Earth.

She should have known this would happen.

Lucrezia Noin stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a white robe and blotting her short violet hair with a towel. Even after standing under the steaming hot water for close to twenty minutes she still felt dead on her feet, but this would not be the first day she showed up at the base only half-awake.

She crossed the room, leaned over the sink. Held her hands under the ice-cold water for a moment, then splashed it on her face.

The mirror in front of her was still fogged up from the steam from the shower. Using the edge of the towel, Lucrezia cleared a circle just big enough to accommodate her face's reflection. She studied herself critically, turning away from the mirror only once she was satisfied that the head of the Prevention Organization wouldn't be able to tell that she had been crying.

I can't stay here.

Zechs, what are you talking about?

I can't tell you that. Not yet at least.

Why not?

I can't tell you until I know where I stand.

Until you know where you stand on what? Why do you have to go back to Earth? Why would you want to?

What I want doesn't matter.

And what about me? What about what I want?

Lucrezia, it's all settled. I have to leave.

The door behind her opened. She straightened her back and held her head up and did not turn to face him, but neither did she tell him to leave.

He hesitated when he came to her, and for a brief moment she thought he would retreat. That wasn't his style, though. It never had been. No matter what battle—be it with one of the Gundam pilots or with her—he would rather die than retreat.

He slid his arms around her, pulling her back against him. She gave no sign of protest. She didn't relax in his embrace either. She merely waited, hoping against the odds that he would tell her he wasn't leaving her, or even better than that, that the previous night had been nothing more than a nightmare shared between the two of them.

He kissed the back of her neck. "Lucrezia," he whispered, his lips moving against the base of her shoulder. "Lucrezia, I'm sorry."

She sighed.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, and his dull tone made it obvious he wasn't expecting any reply.

"Then don't leave me," she said coldly, trying to summon the anger she had felt last night, yet at the same time knowing it would not come. Her rage had been cast out by another emotion, one that never failed to overcome her when she was forced to stand against him, one that, rather than fading over the past fourteen months as it should have, had only grown until she suspected it could be classified as a paranoia.

Her fear of losing him.

He didn't respond with the defense he had used last night, saying that he had to do this (whatever 'this' was); he offered no argument, offered nothing but another kiss, then released her and walked out of the bathroom, easing the door shut behind him.

"Why are you doing this to me, Zechs?" she asked of the empty air where he had stood, then she fell to her knees, promising herself she wouldn't cry again and breaking that promise, just as he was breaking every one he had ever made to her.

Author's Notes: Upon re-reading this prologue, I've come once again to the conclusion that I do not like it. It's really rather weak and petty, but I suppose it must stand. It's only the prologue, after all. When I first wrote it back in 2001 I had no idea how long Ballad was going to be. I had originally intended it to concern Zechs and Noin, but very quickly it turned into a war story mostly concerned with characters in the Episode Zero manga (though I admit to taking several liberties with them). My sincerest gratitude to all who have read this fic, and I hope that you continue to enjoy it, now that I am able to post the rest of it here. Due to the massive amounts of requests I have received via email and message boards, I have decided that once I am through re-editing Ballad and have posted the final chapters of it, I will begin posting its follow-up, "The Remnants of War." It's a bit of a far cry from Ballad, but I think I like its style better.