The next morning, after seeing Krys off with Rainbow and the others, Sel returned to the library to finish sorting. She couldn't stop smiling. She had even laughed at one of Brian's dumb jokes at breakfast. She was midway through a pile of books on the history of the universe when she suddenly stood up and did a cartwheel. Sel hadn't felt this happy for so long. She had friends. She had something to do, something she actually enjoyed. She was in a beautiful place that no nightmares could ever mar. She was sad her parents weren't here with her, and the dreams from her fever still bothered her some, but still!
She was in the middle of her happy dance when someone said, "Are you available or am I interrupting?"
"Does that doorway make people think of witty remarks?" she asked, and flung herself at Brian. She wrapped her arms around the surprised boy's neck, and when he caught her, she completely lifted herself off the ground. The result was a large heap of limbs on the floor in the hallway.
Brian gave the blonde a long look. "You know, I've never seen you act like this, and I'm not entirely sure I like it."
"What's not to like?"
"The fact that a large ache in my back was caused by your hyper lallygagging."
"I am not lallygagging! I'm working."
"Really? I missed the ceremony when Rainbow appointed you Official Dance Mistress of Rainbowland. Dang, that must have been one heck of a party!"
"Why are you here, Brian? Or do you need a reason to annoy me and keep me from getting anything done?" Sel put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
Brian shrugged innocently, a knowing smirk playing across his lips. "Just wanted to have a friendly chat. About anything. How this is coming along, if Red's being nice to you, where you went with Krys yesterday–"
"Are you worried about me?" Sel said in a simpering tone as she turned to a stack of books. "How sweet."
Brian rolled his eyes. "I'm not worried, Sel. I'm just curious."
Sel couldn't help but laugh. "If I didn't know you were head-over-heals in love with a certain Wearer of the Color Belt, I'd say you were jealo–"
"Don't say that so loud!" Brian looked around nervously. "Someone might hear you!"
"No one's going to hear me, and before you ask, no, I would never tell, and no, it's not that obvious. But apparently getting hit by a car with someone gives you a link with them or something. Either that or I just know you too well." She returned to sorting the reports on Spectra that she'd left unfinished lately.
The boy shook his head. "I thought I was doing really well at hiding it..."
"You were. But I've always noticed things like that about people, Brian. I catch things other people miss." She pointed a sheaf of papers at him. "But you might want to stop staring at her with that 'I'll-follow-you-wherever-you-go' puppy face. That's kind of hard to miss."
She cocked an eyebrow at Brian. "Now, Brian, are you going to sit down or stand in the hallway for the rest of the morning?"
"You never told me about yesterday," Brian said, taking a seat on a larger stack.
"Not that one. The books on top are a little fragile. Try the one next to it," Sel commented. "Oh, no, wait, that's got the Treatise on the Powers of the Prism in it, try another– no, The Book of the Universe is at the bottom of that one, I'm trying to press it back into shape--" Five minutes later, Brian finally found a seat on the floor.
"I should've tried this from the start," he muttered as Sel obsessively straightened a pile he had knocked crooked. "Anyway," he continued, loud enough for Sel to hear him, "yesterday."
"Oh, right. He managed to offend me again when he was trying to say goodbye, so he made it up to me by taking me to meet his friends on Spectra." Brian could tell she was already preoccupied with her books again.
"Spectra, huh? Not bad for a first date," he teased, trying to get her attention back. It worked.
"It wasn't a date, Brian!" Sel exclaimed. "We went for a ride! We ate Spectran Slush! We watched the sunset, we came home! That's all!"
"Spectra doesn't have sunsets, you liar!" Brian laughed. "Come on, what did you really do?"
"It does too, once every two hundred years. You see, there's this double star system, and it rotates close enough to catch the– oh, it's complicated, don't make me explain it!" she finished quickly.
"I think you might just like him, Sel–" Brain teased. Sel looked shocked.
"Uh-uh! Why does everyone here have their minds on romance! First Issana, now you–"
"First who?"
"Issana. One of Krys's friends. She thought Krys had been gone so long because he married me!" Sel laughed. "How insane is that?"
Brian snorted, leaning back on his arms. "Considering the way he's been treating you, it's an easy mistake to make."
Sel kept her face towards her books, but moved her eyes to examine Brian's reclining form through a blonde haze. "What in the name of everything holy are you talking about? He's just being nice to me."
"Exactly what I'm talking about." Studying the confused look on Sel's face, Brian said, "No one's ever told you about Krys, have they?"
"What about him? He's a little testy, but I am too some days. So is everyone!" Sel didn't note how defensive she had become, but Brian did, and stored that trinket of information away to consider on another day.
Brian sighed, blowing his bangs up. "Sel, this may take a while. Get comfy." As the blonde settled herself, Brian began. "Here we go. So, Krys was raised by Orin. Don't know why that is, but he only had the Sprites for company growing up." Sel didn't comment. Apparently she knew more than Brian on this particular topic. "He grew up studying and learning to fight, and all that came in handy when the Princess tried to take over Spectra four years ago."
"The Princess captured Orin, and Krys lived on Spectra, running away from her patrols until Rainbow showed up– Orin had sent On-X to Rainbowland with a message for her. Not only was he mean to her because he didn't think a girl could be any help–"
"Somehow, Brian, that doesn't surprise me."
"–he also disregarded her advice and tried to shelter her," he continued, ignoring Sel. "Long story short, they stopped the Princess, Krys was given the Prism, and Rainbow became the only person in the universe Krys has any respect for."
Sel smirked. "Methinks someone's a little bitter." Her visage became serious. "But what's this about the Prism? I haven't heard of it."
"The Prism is a weapon that only works when Rainbow's nearby. It can freeze things or break them into smaller pieces. Pretty powerful. Giving it to Krys was a big mistake, if you ask me."
"So that's what's on his wrist...What about all of the AFW business? What's that?"
"The Alliance of Free Worlds. After the Princess was beaten, the worlds that she had ruled banded together and formed a common government and army. Krys joined when he was...thirteen?—something like that, and became the youngest lieutenant in the history of the AFW– which is not that big an accomplishment, since its been in existence for about three years."
Sel shrugged. "All well and good, Brian, but what's this got to do with anything?"
"Sel...Krys is...he's a little...he's not the easiest to get along with," he finally finished. Sel rolled her eyes.
"Is that all? I figured that out on my own!"
"All right. I'll just say it. He doesn't get along with many people, he's overbearing, arrogant, and ambitious. He think's I'm a weakling for not being able to protect Rainbow. It's not like she even needs protecting! And that's what he thinks most girls need, Sel. Protecting."
"None of that's so bad. I mean, the sexism thing is, but he'll have to get over that eventually. He might just need a little help along the way. And besides," she added sadly, "it might be nice having someone care enough to protect me." The wistful look on her face told Brian as much as if he had read her thoughts.
"You've been lonely here." It was a statement, not a question.
"Sometimes. But you see, Brian," Sel smiled, a little sadly, "I have more than I ever had on earth. I have you. I have Rainbow. I have Stormy and Moonglo, and now Krys. It seems like nothing should be missing." She sighed. "I don't know what more I could need, but..."
"But what's missing, Sel?"
Sel turned back to her books, determined to, this time, get something done. "I'll let you know when I find out."
After Brian left, Sel turned her attention to yet another stack of books. She had been waiting on this group, and thought it was best to do it while she was distracted. The titles alone scared her: "The Darkness to Come;" "When Evil Rules;" "Magic, Mystery, and Murder." To make matters worse, one particularly fragile book appeared to be coated in blood. The reason these books were in Rainbowland she couldn't fathom, except perhaps they were here to keep them from falling into the wrong hands.
Sel, brooding over her discussion with Brian, didn't think about the contents of the books she held as she transported them to their predestined home, a half-hidden shelf in the corner she had chosen particularly for that reason. When she would look back on this moment, she gave her distraction credit for all that was to follow, and both cursed and blessed it.
If she hadn't been preoccupied, she never would have tripped over "Fanciful Flights of Fortune;" the books never would have spilled from her arms as she sprawled on the rug; "The History of Sorcery and its Truths" never would have landed, open, by her head; and she never would have looked onto its open page, and seen herself.
On the thin, yellowing page was her face, her hair in a blonde cloud surrounding her, her necklace glinting in the light, a sad, wise, and yet joyful look in her green eyes. Sel sat up, not minding that she had wretched her ankle, completely speechless.
No, she realized, it wasn't her portrait in the book. The nose was longer and didn't turn up at the end. The woman's eyes were a pure, perfect green, not flecked with brown and yellow, as Sel's were. And she was older, maybe twenty. The woman's hair, softly shimmering, was not as wild as her own, and her necklace fell onto a rounder chest than Sel's; her skin was flawless, as Sel's had never been.
But the necklace was her own. She recognized it instantly, the scratch on the left point, the slightly inconsistent quality of the silver. Sel traced it with her finger, and noticed another difference between herself and the lady in the book: her vermilion dress was cut far lower than Sel had ever dared to wear, and there was no birthmark on her left side.
And yet, the resemblance was too close for chance. Shaking off her shock, Sel read the caption under the picture: "Princess Melayel of Spectra."
"You are the daughter of Melayel, and a sorceress of the line of Amira."
The truth hit Sel instantly. "This is my mother," she whispered. Her hands trembled as she picked up the book. The portrait was one of several colored illustrations in the middle of the book. She completely forgot about the library, about the dropped books, about Krys and Brian, about everything. She sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs, flipped to the first page, and began to read.
-----
Krys was exhausted. He had arrived at Spectra later than he thought he would, but that tended to happen when one stopped on a deserted asteroid for five hours for no particular reason. After he had finally found his way to the commander, he had been berated for his lateness, for the first time not caring about being chastised, and asked for his report. Report? What kind of report was he supposed to give? That random earthlings were popping into Rainbowland and completely messing with his head? That Rainbow looked better, but that he still hadn't wanted to leave her? That he had lost his carefully fostered aloof reputation because of a certain blonde's loneliness (not to mention his own)?
Needless to say, his report was rather unsatisfactory, causing Commander Griffith to spend three hours asking yes or no questions to get information that he normally would have had in three minutes.
By the time Krys got to his room, it was nearly midnight. He dropped his bag by the door and flopped onto his bed with a sigh of relief, grateful for some well- earned rest, and hoped that he would be able to have just one dream without Sel's face in it.
"Krys? That you?"
The young man in question stifled a groan. Barder was a heavy sleeper, an early-to-bed type. He had been certain his roommate would be asleep by now.
"Barder, you're going to wake up Garet!" Krys whispered, gesturing towards the bed of their other roommate.
"He's in the infirmary, he ate some bad hissweed. Why are you back so late?"
"I...there...it's a long story," Krys stuttered, completely aware of the fact that he hadn't slept (well, at least) in nearly three days. "And what are you doing up? Usually you'd be snoring three hours ago! Why in the– Barder, were you waiting up for me?"
He could hear embarrassment in his friend's voice as Barder replied, "I wanted to talk to you."
"We could talk in the morning," he suggested hopefully.
"Or we could talk now."
"Or in the morning."
"But we could also talk now."
"Yes, we could." Krys covered his face with his hands. Obviously, this was going to be a circular argument, one that he would lose. "What do you want to talk about?"
"I don't know. What do you want to talk about?" Barder asked cheerfully.
"Barder, no way!" Krys sat up and glared at his friend across the room. "You can't bloody wait up until midnight for me and coerce me into talking with you when any sane person is asleep only to act like you don't have something to talk about!" He took a deep breath. "Now, what would you like to talk about?"
Undaunted, Barder asked, "How was your time in Rainbowland?"
Realizing there was no reasoning with him, Krys surrendered his offensive and his dreams of a nice, long sleep. "Fine."
"How's Rainbow Brite?"
"Good."
"And the Color Kids?"
"All right."
"The sprites?"
"Excellent."
"The Color Caves are doing good?"
"Thriving."
"And what's her name, Stormy?"
"Well-rested."
"The other two?"
"Top kilter."
"The horses are well?"
"In the peak of health."
"And that friend of yours, was her name Sel?"
And there it is, Krys thought. "She's doing well."
"She seems nice."
"Uh-huh."
"And pretty."
"I agree." Krys wondered if Barder would notice if he covered his head with his pillow and went to sleep.
"Smart."
"I'm in complete concordance."
"Interesting."
"Very much so."
"Funny."
"Yes."
"Sexy."
"I concur– WHAT!" Krys sat straight up to see Barder grinning at him in a satisfied way.
"I see I have your attention."
"I see you're being a jackass! What are you getting at! Did you mean that, or were you just trying to get to me?"
"A little of both." Barder shrugged, very aware that the holder upper hand in the conversation had reversed.
"You can't mean– you're not–" Krys collapsed onto his pillow. "Sel? You can't be serious, Barder."
"Maybe I am. Something wrong with that?"
"No...it's just that...Sel's a little...she's kind of...atypical," he finished, cringing at his weak excuse.
"So? She's great. I had an excellent time with her yesterday while you let Issana fawn all over you. By the way, I must say, your good manners really shine through around her. Completely ignoring your guest in favor of letting Issana sit in your lap, very chivalrous."
"Chivalry's dead, and Issana wasn't in my lap!" A sudden thought came into Krys's head, which he played with a winner's smile. "Besides, Sel's too young for you."
"No, she's not."
"She just turned fourteen yesterday."
"You're kidding! She's pretty mature for her age."
"Doesn't change the fact that you're almost seventeen."
"Not for another four months! That's not almost! And besides, what do you care? Why does it matter to you if Sel goes out with someone who's 'too old for her'?"
"Wait, we're talking dating now! It's against the rules!"
Barder rolled his eyes. "You know that no one even considers that rule. Issana's just turned seventeen, and she's had dozens of boyfriends."
"And the last time she got caught, there was hell to pay!"
"What does it matter? I'm just thinking about it. I might not even tell her. And you never answered my question."
Krys paused. This was the question he had pondered for five hours on a deserted asteroid today. And, slowly, he revealed the conclusion that he had arrived at after three hundred minutes of deliberation. "I guess I'm protective of her because I feel like, when I first met her, I hurt her pretty badly when she needed a friend. The consequences were bad. And she understands things no one I've ever talked to could understand before. I think of her like a sister," he exaggerated, not mentioning that he had completely avoided her until yesterday, "which is why the thought of you going out with her bothers me."
Barder looked dubious, but he just yawned and said, "You know, it's really late, we should get some sleep," and grinned as Krys gaped at him. "Good night, Krys," he said as he rolled towards the wall. "And just for the record," he whispered so Krys wouldn't hear, "most societies frown on being crazy for your sister."
-----
Sel sat in her room, staring out her window. She watched as Buddy Blue and Patty O'Green played a game of soccer with several sprites; as Stormy summoned a small cloud to help Lala clean the roof of a house; as Brian and Rainbow sat at the edge of the river with Puppy Brite, laughing and splashing each other. They were all so happy, so ignorant of the truths that now circled Sel like vultures circled a battlefield.
A whirlwind of thoughts filled her, contrasting emotions ebbing and flooding along a ragged tide. So, this was what she was. Not who, what. The daughter of the source of all evil and an unwilling sorceress, the niece of a cold queen, the half-sister of the Princess everyone so feared. She gave a small hiccup of grief. She couldn't cry; crying wouldn't even start to cover her despair.
The book had told her, if not everything, almost everything. How the Great Ones's children divided protection of the Universe; how Amira's two daughters had been given power over numerous worlds. How her mother, Melayel, had been the Windspeaker, hearing truth, past, present, and future on the winds, a sorceress of great power, like her mother, Amira Heartspeaker. How Melayel had taken control of Spectra as its beloved princess, advised and adored by her trusted councillors and friends, Opaela, Rowan, Belias, and Orin.
How her jealous sister had sought to gain power through a union with the Evil One, the Dark Lord, the Shadow, and received only a daughter and bitterness. How the Evil One had then turned his sights toward Melayel. How she had disappeared for a year, and how her body had been dredged up from a sea on the Throne World. How they had mourned the loss of her power in the universe. How the universe had seen no great sorceresses of Light and no Speakers since her death.
But that hadn't been enough. Another book told her how her father had tried to destroy color, and the atrocities he committed. Another, how her half-sister tried to conquer Spectra, believing it her birthright, as its princess's niece. Another, how the balance of light and dark had never recovered from the Dark Lord's takeover and the loss of Melayel.
A week without leaving her room and the library, dozens of books devoured during nights without sleep, and Sel had more questions than answers. If Melayel was so powerful, why hadn't she fought off the Dark Lord instead of submitting to him? Why did none of the books mention the necklace? Why was she, Sel, never spoken of? What had become of her mother's body? And, more burning than all the rest, why was she still alive?
At least she knew a few things. Her mother had left her because she was dead. Her birthmark felt evil because it was evil. Her nightmares were memories of, she was sure, her mother's death and the first hours of her life. And Dreamspeaker...
Truth came to her in dreams.
Sel glanced up as a thought hit her. Why hadn't it come to her before? If what she dreamed was truth, then, she could find the answers to her questions. Of course.
A burning sensation came into her throat. "But..."
But what? another voice asked.
"I'll have to face my nightmares."
It had to come sometime. You have to be brave. You don't know what you are, but you can find out. Something– you don't know what– depends on it.
Sel bit her lip in apprehension. How could she?...
Yet a third voice snapped her out of her uncertainty. Come on, Sel! A chorus of her new friends' voices felt like an intangible smirk. Are you going to wuss out just when it's going to get interesting?
"No, I'm not," she answered out loud, with considerably more resolve than she felt. And with that, she laid down on her bed and willed herself to sleep.
-----
As harsh as her nightmares could be, they were worse when Sel lucidly recognized each of them. A black shadow strangled her, choking both her breath and will to live; a woman laughed cruelly as she ran from a green monster with a blank stare and desperate scream; goblins, for lack of a better word, dragged her into darkness. She fell to the ground, sobbing, believing that she could envision nothing worse.
But then, the black shadow returned. It laughed in her face, the high laugh she recognized from every nightmare she'd had since she could remember, and gestured to the bloody bodies of her parents, Rainbow, Brian, Krys, Stormy, and all the other friends she'd had in her life. A cruel wind blew her hair around her face, and she hugged her shoulders, clawing at her skin. A hand wrapped around her throat, and Sel gasped. She looked up into a woman's face; she had seen this woman in earlier dreams as well. Her red hair was as frizzy and wild as Sel's, but her blue eyes were hard in a way Sel's had never been. Her slim body seemed to pour every ounce of its strength into her pain and feed off it.
"Look upon this face, and remember it," the shadow whispered hoarsely. "This face will be the last you see before your death."
Her death. So this was how she would die. Alone, defeated without even putting up a fight, with illusions as her assassins...
Illusions. They're just illusions. The thought gave her strength. She wrapped her arms around the woman's hand. Illusions. Illusions. She forced the hand away from her throat, and took a deep, painful breath through her bruised airway.
"You're illusions," she whispered. "You're just...illusions. You aren't real."
The woman's face turned into an ugly mask of hate. "I'm real enough to destroy you!" Her voice was rich and deep. It might have been a sweet voice, had it not been so twisted by rage.
"No. You're only real if I let you be. And I say you're not real!" She forced her exhausted body to stand. "Leave. Leave me, and never return. You can only be in my dreams if I allow it, and I no longer do. Get away from here. Leave." And gathering sudden strength that Sel didn't know she had, she yelled, "I command it!"
The world spun, and she was left in gray nothingness.
She only allowed herself a moment of relief. That had not been what she had come for. Then, she called for the only being that could answer her.
"Melayel!" She yelled. "Melayel Windspeaker!"
Nothing answered.
"Melayel Windspeaker!" She should have been answered by now. This wasn't right. And then, she cried, "Mother!"
A golden light appeared in front of her. "What is it you wish, my daughter?"
"I need answers."
"As you ask, I will answer." As Sel opened her mouth to speak, Melayel held up a hand to stop her. "Let me warn you: Our time is short, and the past no longer matters. Ask what you need to know for the future."
Sel paused as half the questions she had planned to ask disappeared. "Fine. Who am I?"
"You are Melglirael Dreamspeaker, the only daughter of Melayel Windspeaker, and the second daughter of the Dark Lord. You are a sorceress, a descendant of Amira Heartspeaker and her mother, one of the Great Ones."
"You told me the universe is in danger. Why?"
The light gave the appearance of shaking its head. "That I do not know. The threat may come from a force unknown, or the Princess Xaliel daughter of my sister Theirael, the Dark Lord himself, or you."
"Me?" Sel breathed, unable to contain her fear.
"Perhaps." She felt that if the light, all that was left of her mother, was staring straight into her soul, and yet it could not warm her. "If you are untrained, or you turn away from light and color."
Sel swore to herself at that moment that she would never be anything that anyone in the universe would fear as evil– her family could handle that on their own. "How can I prevent this?"
"Teach yourself. There are no sorceresses left to teach you, aside from the usurper Xaliel, but there are books that you may learn from, in the library, as you have discovered, and in the possession of the sprite Orin. And as to the other..." She paused. "Do not let bitterness and hatred enslave your heart. Do not try to bear this burden alone. And do not forget the joy that comes from living. If you do these three things, life, light, and color will always be your allies."
"What about the necklace? What is it?"
"A powerful protection passed down from the Great Ones themselves. It protects you from magic cast on you, focuses your power, and can hold other spells, of protection, truth, or hope. It is a source of great power in itself. If it were to fall in the wrong hands, it could be the destruction of all things good. It is in your care; be wary of those that would take it from you."
The focus of the light turned, as if it had heard something in the distance. "You must go. It is not safe here."
"How? How do I get out of here?" Sel could feel panic rising in her throat.
"Will yourself to wake. Find your power, and call on it to take you back to your body."
Sel turned, but looked back. "Mother?"
"You must go."
"Yes, but...who can tell me the things about you that I want to know?"
"Orin, or the nurse who took you to earth. But now, you must go!"
On the verge of asking how to find them, Sel stopped herself. She could see a dark cloud in the distance.
"Melglirael, go with the love of your mother and the blessing of the Great Ones."
Sel nodded and closed her eyes. She felt inside herself for the source of so much of her strength, and found a ball of light. Gently, carefully, she tugged it around herself in a shining cocoon despite its reluctance. It was slow, and slower from her fears and attempts to coax it faster. This isn't right, she thought, and concentrated fully on the light surrounding her. She let nothing exist but that light and the desire to leave, and willed herself to return.
She opened her eyes, and she was lying on her bed. "A dream?" she whispered, but no. The ache in her throat and hoarseness in her voice were real enough, as was the raw, clawed skin on her arms. Her dreams had shown her the truth.
As loudly as she dared, Sel said, refusing to let her voice waiver, "I am Melglirael Dreamspeaker, the daughter of Melayel Windspeaker and sorceress of the line of Amira. And I am going to do everything in my power to destroy what threatens my home."
Author's note: Whew! I don't think I've ever written that much in a single day. BTW, the inspiration to get this chapter out so fast (heehee, two months is fast for me...) came from everyone who put this story on their watch list, and all reviewers. Thanks, you guys!