Back in the days before the great Akuvian cities, when samurai were unheard of and the world was pure, and great Lord Aku would feast upon bread made from golden flour, which he shared with mankind before their wicked and rebellious ways brought an end to this era; it so happened that a great snowstorm came and covered the earth with ice and snow. The people cried to Aku, for not even the thickest pelts could keep out the cold, and the damp and chill were such that no fires could be built. Aku thought long on this problem. After many hours, he rose from his throne and made the long journey to the Mountain of Glass at the End of the World. There, he summoned the demon spirits from within the mountain. A demonic worm, as long as the worm of Arnouth, rose forth and attacked our Lord Aku, who defended himself wisely in battle. They fought so long that mother's gave birth in the meantime, and fowl traveled north and south by the seasons. At last, Aku smote the worm with his laser eyes, and reduced it to a pile of ash. Then, Aku flew to the heavens and created the sun from the remains of a pig carcass; he was praised for days on end with songs and irrelevant stories, and thus the Earth was warmed and the people's joyfulness was returned.
(Translator's note: Presumably it made sense at the time.)