Our great lord Aku, the Shogun of Sorrow, rules us all so wisely and well, and nothing could be better than Aku at ruling us all, for his competence and power are beyond that of any mortal man, and nothing can beat the goodness he is doing at his job of ruling us all, because he is so good at it. Our master, the Deliverer of Darkness, that is, Aku, does such a good job at what he does. He conquered the whole world, and now he rules it, and he is the King of Everything, and he knows exactly what to do because he is so smart and big, and he cannot be spoken badly about because he works so well and so there is nothing to complain about, because he does a great act at doing his ruling which is his job. Aku is so very large. His grand largeness is so impressive. He is also most fully very black, of such black that nothing can be blacker than that black that is his black, and his eyebrows flame as does fire, which is made of flames. The Master of Masters, who is called Aku, when called by name, is so wonderful and he does his job very very well and right and good and beneficially. He is so smart and with such a fine and wizened wit. I think he knows magic as well. How great Aku is. There is a cloud outside right now that looks as he looks at this time at which I am writing this, except the cloud is white, and the Demon of Despair is not white because he is black, except around his most greenish mouth, which is as green as the sky. And his beard is red, as many other things are red as well. Sometimes apples are red. I like apples. I like them when they are red, and when they are not green because they are hard and not ripe; but when they are red, I like them. Aku has a head which is shaped in a most pointy fashion, and apple-trees sometimes look like his head when they have no leaves, and I think it might be most funny if Aku were an apple tree and people picked apples off of him. I told this to Brother Wiglaf and he laughed at the idea as well and then he ceased his laughing and he told me "Stop of this fanciful thinking and return yourself to writing out praises to apple, I mean Aku" and then he turned around towards the door and walked out of it and then down the hallway. I think he has been sneaking food from the store-room and is hiding it someplace nearby. But that is not as bad as what I am told Brother Peter has been occupying himself by doing in recent weeks, for lately a pretty young girl has been stopping here every day insisting that he and he alone take her confessions. Nobody has caught them yet, but we are all certain he is swiving her. Sometimes I wish I were so lucky as to have fair ladies asking me to take their confessions. I have never seen myself in a mirror save but once in a pilgrim's mirror, but I do not believe I am handsome nor fair-faced sufficiently to attract a young lady to me, and so it is probably good that I became a friar. I just thought of a funny riddle. Everyone is staring at me because I am laughing and they do not know the reason. Aku is talented and is most smart and is of a most handsome figure and I admire him most greatly and he is large. Praise Aku.
(Translator's note: The mention of a green sky might be due to either the vocabulary and culture of the day making no distinction between green and blue, or else because the author had been staring at the paper for too long on a bright day.)