Xenosaga: My Angel With Crimson Eyes
Part four: Downfall Of Sorrow
For hours I find myself checking on her. For hours I find myself stroking her hair. But still she will not wake. Why? It is then that I begin to cry. Weeping, praying for her safe return to me. I feal just like I did when she told us she would stay behind on Proto Merkaba to finish the perge. I, I feal hopeless. I feal scared. I feal worried, but most of all, I feal alone. I long to feal her body stroking mine. To feal her hair brush against my hands as it did before. I don't want to lose her like I lost Kevin. I want her to stay by my side. Does this mean I love her. Is this fealing normal. It feals so alien to me, so new. I want to embrace it, want to embrace her but, alas, I can not. What then. What should I do. chaos has long left and, even if he was here, would I feal any different. Please my beloved, wont you wake. Every moment your not with me is unbearable. I am so deap in thought that I don't notice Momo enter.
"Shion?" she askes. I do not reply.
She comes over and hugs me from behind. But why. Why should she care. Care about how I am fealing. Why cant she just leave me alone.
'Momo, please, leave me alone for now." I tell her.
I am in the depths of despair. I want to die but, something won't let me.
What then, what is that factor. My answer finally comes to me.
...Her.
Three days later
Does she really care about me. I know now the answer to my question. Of course I love her. But does she really love me. That night now seems like a dream. A dream that has happened long ago but with whom I am unable to forget. I have now gone three days by her side. But to what avail. Why am I acting like this. Allan has kept telling me to get some rest but to what. What reason. Why should I care about my own health when KOS-MOS life is in peral. My mind keeps telling me to rest but my heart longs to be near her. What then. What should I do. I sit there, pondering over this. I need rest but I long to stay near her. Finally I decide to go to bed. Might I steal a kiss from her. Embrace the fact that she is still alive. My mind tells me not to but my heart tells me I may not get another chance. I finally decide. I bend over and kiss the lips that I have longed for so lond to feel.. How sweat they are. Finally after a few seconds that seamed like eturnity, I break the kiss and go off to my cabin. I might regreat what I did tommorow but, I don't now.
I am once again in my bed lying with my front facing the celing. I turn on my side, away from the door and slowly fall into a gental but light slumber. In my sleep I think I hear someone enter my room but thinking It was just part of a dream I let the thought dissaper from my mind. I am awoken when I find two loving arms sorrounding me. One with a black glove on it. I turn over to face my companion only to find KOS-MOS, lying next to me. My instincts take over and soon, I feel my arms encircling her body. We both hold eack other for what seams like forever when my lover finally speaks.
"I was awake when you kissed me."She whispers.
"Oh." I reply blushing.
"You promiced" she informs me but is silenced when I bring my lips up to meet hers. I noticed she was startaled at first but quickly began to embrace it. Our tongues play around and I cant help but notice how sweat her mouth tastes. Every time I try to break the kiss she pulled me deaper into it. Finally our lips parted and whe both just stared at each other. Her eyes are blue once again and I notice hou pleasent she looks lying here next to me. She snuggels close to me ans this time, I am the first to speak.
"KOS-MOS?" I whisper.
"Yes." she whispers back.
"You know I love you, right?" I ask. "But do you love me."
"I don't know if I can answer that untill you explain to me what love is." she replys.
"OK, i'l explain." I whisper taking hold of her hand. " Love is a fealing that humans have towards cirtain other humans. It is a way of showing affection for another. Really it can only be expressed through action."
"Oh." she whispers. "could you show me?"
"I already have. Remember, I kissed you a few minuits ago."
"Oh, that was an expression of love." she asks.
"Yup. It was." I reply chearfully.
She smiles and bends over to kiss me back. I calmly accept it knowing that she is still learning. I notice that unlike my kiss, hers was more timid and not as long.
"KOS-MOS, is your power cell fully charged?" I ask.
"Yes...why?" she returns.
"Would you like to sleep in here?" I ask.
"That would be nice." she replys.
"Ok."I reply. "
I then get up and tell her to sit on the bed. When she did, I calmly removed her boots, her leather skirt,hip guards,and her black glove. Then I removed the leather covering her other arm. finally I remove the plates covering her ears. She winces slightly when I accendently brush against her wounds. every time she cried out softly, I would apologise and give her a quick kiss on the wound.
'KOS-MOS?"
"Huh" she replys.
"Do you want a nightgown"
"If it's ok, can I just sleep in this?" she replies pointing to her armored liotard that was still on her body.
"Of corse." I tell her.
After that we both laid down and soon slumber found us. My dreams that night were plesent ones. I hoped that her's where as nice also.
The next morning I wake up feeling refreshed and look to my side but, to my disapointment,find that KOS-MOS is no longer next to me. Was last night a dream. I think about this as I get dressed and, head off to the diner to cook breakfast. In the kitchen, I start cooking. Everyone tells me that my cooking is great. Maybe I could cook for some rich person, I don't know. I really don't think that my cooking is that good. As I am frying the sausage, my beloved enters the kitchen.
"KOS-MOS!" I call happily. She looks at me but I see no emotion in her stare.
"Yes Shion" she replies to me in her monotone voise.
Perhaps it was just a dream. I do not know.
"Could you help me with this?" I ask pointing to the food on the stove.
"Of corse." she replies.
As she is helping me, my concience couldn't hold the question back.
"KOS-..." But I am cut off when she pushes me gently against the wall and kisses me once again.
"Thank you for a wonderful night." She whispers in my ear after the kiss.
It is then that I know that last night wasn't a dream.
END OF PART FOUR